Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Every Opportunity

I have been reflecting of how quickly life seems to pass once your first child moves out of the preschool years - everyone and I mean everyone, told me it would go fast and to make the most of my time with my children! The good news is that I feel that I am making and have made the most of my time with my children, the bad news is...they were right, it does go fast.

I was reading in Ephesians 5:15&16 today where Paul tells us to, "Be very careful, then, how you live - not as unwise but as wise, making the most of EVERY OPPORTUNITY, because the days are evil." I realize there are a hundred applications with that verse and mine may not have been at the forefront of Paul's mind as he penned those words, but God has been strongly encouraging me with those words. I am blessed to have days full of opportunities to live wise and encourage my children, but am I using them to their fullest?

A while ago I shared the verse from Psalm 90 from Moses, where we are told to "number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom." The two connect for me - if we realize the pace of how quickly time is moving, we will put far more effort into "making the most of every opportunity".

I know there are days and weeks when we feel that time could not go more slowly - when a toddler won't stop screaming, a new baby waking every two hours, a preschooler throwing up every 20 minutes for what feels like forever - yet even amidst these natural challenges of life there are opportunities. They may come in the form of a deep breath that allows us five more minutes of patience when we feel that we are at the end of our rope, it could be a soft cloth on our little ones head when they are sick or even a chance to snuggle the little one that we wish were sleeping so we could be too.

Whatever our current moment, day and week look like - that is OUR OPPORTUNITY. Our friend's opportunities may look more appealing but those are not the ones that God has for us - ask Him to make you faithful with the people and opportunities He has given you. Then new joy will overflow from the tasks that are at hand.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Keep Sowing


Do you ever feel, as a parent, that there is so much you should be "sowing" into with your children? Or maybe that what you have faithfully been sowing into is not showing a harvest?

Galatians 6:7&9 says, "A man reaps what he sows...Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."

I love God's Word because it is truth - and where the truth is, we can hold tight to those words. I have watched times with our children (and I realize there are many more to come) where I really didn't think that situations or attitudes or hearts were going to change...BUT by prayer and continuing to press in, it always has. WHY? Because when we are walking in God's strength and sowing by His ways we have to reap a harvest - the Bible says it is so - but there is a catch, it is IF we do not give up.

I shared a cup of tea with a wise and special friend last week, who is a few steps ahead in this journey of parenting, in fact her children are young adults now. To meet her children is to be introduced to all you could hope your own would become, and we were talking about this for a bit. Then she shared that there was a challenge with one of them, who is 19, in the way they were treating a sibling. When I shared my surprise, she went to explain that the challenges hadn't ceased, just continued to change in their appearance, but also said that she knew if she kept pressing in and encouraging the heart that they would come around. What an important reminder for me and I think, for others!

It is so easy to look at another godly family and feel that their children have it all together and what is wrong with ours? I feel that is one of the ways that the enemy tries to discourage us into "giving up". Every family has items that need to be worked on both as a family unit and with each child, that doesn't go away - it is part of being a healthy family. But, when we start to feel that our children have issues that will never be overcome, or that we will never reach their hearts or that the attitudes will never improve - you can be sure the voice of discouragement is there.

There is always hope when we are sowing in God's strength. He has promised that there is a harvest to be reaped If we do not give up - so hang tight and keep faithfully sowing into the children God has blessed you with - there is a harvest to look forward to.

Monday, March 22, 2010

Why Read the Bible?


Do you read your Bible daily, every few days or just once in a while? What are your reasons for being in the Word? I know mine have changed drastically and so much for the better in the last 12 years....let me explain.
I can't remember a time that I did not understand that it was important to read my Bible - that was just a given even as a child. But, it was much harder to put that into a disciplined routine and many times through my teen years I would experience God speaking so clearly through His Word and then put my Bible away and not read again for days. WHY? Because as much as I had a desire to please the Lord and had experienced the power of His Word, I still looked at being in the Word as "something I had to do". Although I became more disciplined as I moved into my twenties I still can't say that I loved being in the Word like I do now and I want to tell you more about why that is.
It was during a challenging time while my husband was pastoring that I made the commitment to God that no matter what was going on, I was going to be in His Word on a regular basis. I remember the time so clearly and that part of the change for me came almost instantly - I chose that I was going to be in the Word whether I "felt" like it or not. The interesting thing was that my love for the Word did not come instantly...don't get me wrong, I valued the Word and enjoyed the Word, I liked to read it, but I wasn't hungry for it yet. That came over time of many months of faithfully reading and meeting God in the mornings and asking Him to show me what He had for me that day. As my relationship with Him grew, my hunger for the Word grew, and the more I was in the Word, the more I realized how much I needed it. I have learned since, that whatever part of ourselves that we "feed", that is where our passions will grow.
It is almost twelve years later and I have journals and journals of Scripture that I have written out from daily times in the Word - I can look back and see how over and over God spoke specifically into a situation. I love the Word because God has been faithful to speak to me through it.
I have also found that I love the Word because I have grown in my love for God. John 1:1 says, "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the WORD WAS GOD." As I have been in the Word I have been growing in that most important relationship.
Over and over the Bible describes the importance of the Word to us with powerful descriptions: the Word is...flawless, a lamp to my feet, like fire, truth, life, living...it goes on and on. To not be in the Word is to rob ourselves of the greatest freedom we have to enjoy. I believe one of the strategies of the enemy is to make us feel "guilty" for not reading the Word because then our response will be to read "because we should". The Spirit convicts, but the enemy condemns - the Spirit draws us into the Word because God wants to meet with us, He has things to show us and to encourage us with; but the enemy wants it to be one more thing on our over extended lists of things to do which is what will drive us away from the Word.
I believe with all my heart that we need to be in the Word every day - I remember reading that if all we did was think about how food tasted even though we can imagine it perfectly, we would still not being fed. Similar to the old man who said he had been married for 60 years and couldn't tell you one meal he remembered completely but he knew that if he hadn't eaten them all those years, he would be dead. Don't pick up the Word because you feel like you have to, but pick it up because you want to meet with your God! Ask Him to make it alive for you and He will!

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Expectations


Expectations - what a word! According to the Encarta Dictionary, it can mean, "A mental image of something expected, often compared to its reality". I love that! Do you realize the ramifications that this definition could have on our parenting if we really apply it to our homes?
I think of my daughter at her last birthday and her "expectations" ...she expected to have a present or two to open and was very pleased when that expectation was met and even exceeded. When she unwrapped a gift and found a new pink suitcase she was excited, but then when she opened the suitcase and found a Webkinz toy, she was elated - her expectations had been far more than just met.
Now apply that to parenting - every once in a while we see our expectations not only met with our children but they go above and beyond what we would hope or expect them to do and we are elated! BUT the problem I find for myself, and I am guessing you may be able to relate, is that so often I have set my expectations so high that they can barely meet them let alone have any hopes of exceeding them! That isn't fair to them or myself because even if I try to hide my frustration or disappointment, they will pick up on it.
How about a new mindset - We set our expectations for our kids lower but keep our standards high! What happens? Even the smallest successes can be praised and we are not finding ourselves so often disappointed or discouraged in this very important job of parenting.
Let me illustrate from a recent event in our home: Our son had been upsetting one of his sisters and our standard (kept high) dictates that this is not acceptable behaviour. We sat down and reviewed the problem and said that change was needing to take place, he agreed and went out to play. As I watched them interact I mentally recognized that this will not be easy for him to change, therefore setting my expectations fairly reasonably (kept lower). Ten minutes later when I looked out and saw him take time to help her on a game they were playing, I was elated! I took time to encourage him and appreciate his efforts to be kind to his sister. It was only because my expectations were kept lower without changing the standard that I was truly able to celebrate a "smaller" success.
Our kids need us to be their "Encouragers". Other than a few special people that they might have in their lives, no one else is going to get excited about those moments. We have to watch for them and celebrate them - and keep our expectations fair.
I John 4:7 "Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God."

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Chores & Kids


Chores - part of life in every home, but I don't recall anyone ever telling me they wished there was more to do! I know our kids don't wish for more chores and yet they have grown so much in finding joy and satisfaction in a job well done. This I am very thankful for but it did not happen by accident.
I have been very blessed to be mentored, via books, by some very wise parents who have guided our home into valuing chores in a greater way. One of my favourite books is by Steve & Teri Maxwell and is called Managers of Their Chores. They take a whole book to lay out a system for directing children with tasks and the book is well done. I say all this not to tell you to buy the book (although it is the best one I have found), but so you understand my values have needed to be shaped and molded to appreciate "Chores & Kids".
Anyone who knows me well, knows that I tend to like things done a certain way and I would far prefer to do everything alone! This is obviously not God's best for many things in life, especially when it comes to chores and training our children. I have had to work hard, but the more I enjoy seeing our kids grow in responsibility, the more I am longing to encourage others on the same journey.
It is often easier to do things on our own, as after years of experience we can do them better and faster than a two, three or even five year old. BUT is that really the point? We are to TRAIN our children, and I feel that includes chores and jobs around the house. This actually accomplishes many things at the same time...While teaching our children the skill required for the chore, whether it be cleaning the kitchen, vacuuming the house thoroughly, dusting or cleaning a toilet - we are also instilling the value for doing a job well and breaking down the natural draw towards laziness. And the younger we start the less battle there is!
We often quote Eccl.9:10 with our kids, "Whatever your hands find to do, do it with all of your might." If we can instill that biblical value early on, there will be so much that our children will not have to "unlearn" later. I know many adults that have to push themselves now, that believe if they had been required to do more when there were younger, feel it would come far more naturally.
So take a new look around your house and see what your kids might not have learned how to do yet, that they will need to know when they are grown AND keep training! If this is new, yes there will be some grumbling, but once they realize it is not optional, you will find them pulling out a vacuum on Friday mornings since that is just what they are supposed to do!

Saturday, March 13, 2010

I Don't Know


Bedtime can be such a special time for sharing and hearing the hearts of our children. I find if I am not careful though, I can rush through and miss what is really on their hearts. Some of our children like to chat more than others and sometimes I feel I am being persuaded to stay longer just by being asked some more questions...but when the questions center around God and His part in their lives, I find it is hard to shut conversation down quickly. I want to be available for those special moments, but there is a phrase I find I am drawing on more than I ever used to and that is, "I Don't Know!"
We have all said it to our children many times; Where do ladybugs go in winter, Mom? I don't know. Why does the moon stay out in the day only sometimes, Mom? I don't know. Why does the dog have to throw up every time we drive, Mom? I don't know. You get the idea.
BUT, there are some questions that I don't want to be content with saying I don't know to and those are the things of God. I find they are becoming more commonly answered with, "I Don't Know" by myself, but it is because they are getting to be tougher questions. It is great, as it forces me to dig deeper into the Word and the character of God so that I have more to offer. It is also realizing that we are on a journey with our children and we need to keep talking and learning together.
Today as I read a quote by A.W.Tozer, it reminded me of a conversation with one of my daughters at bedtime the other night. She was questioning how God could be eternal and how can we understand it enough to grasp it. We can't!
Tozer says, ""Left to ourselves we tend immediately to reduce God to manageable terms. We want to get him where we can use him, or at least know where he is when we need him. We want a God we can in some measure control. We need the feeling of security that comes from knowing what God is like."
Sometimes the only response when we "Don't Know" is to marvel and allow ourselves to rest in who God says He is and enjoy that moment with our pondering children.
Don't be afraid to say You Don't Know!

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Why Go to Church?

If you are a mom and have attempted going to church with a baby or even more challenging a baby and a few toddlers, you have probably asked yourself the same question that I have in the past: Why go to church?

I don't know what the exact number would be, but over the last 13 years I am sure I have spent at least half of my Sundays in the nursery, therefore NOT in the church service (that has got to be closing in on 400 times anyway). I would watch other adults happily take their place in the service and get to listen to a whole message and think, "Why do I even bother coming, I will never get to hear a whole message again."

Of course, I did hear a few messages back then and I did get to sing in some of the worship times BUT it didn't make it easy. So, WHY GO?

Let me give you a few of my reasons that I held to back then even when I didn't "feel" like going to church on a Sunday morning:

1) I wanted our family to value being at church together EVERY Sunday, which meant I had to be there for our family to be complete.
2) Even if our baby was too young to know where we were, I believe I was laying spiritual disciplines in their little life.
3) It was a witness and encouragement to other families with young children to keep coming.
4) It was an opportunity to serve, even though I may have been tired.
5) God's Word says that we are not to forsake gathering together, therefore it was an obedience issue on my part.
6) I knew in my heart then it was the right thing to do and I believe that is still true.

So often I have fallen into the trap of "What is in it for me?", instead of "What can I bring or give?" When I was able to go with a heart that looked for what I could bring or give to the nursery, I could always find the opportunities around me. It could be getting to read some books with my child and a few others gathered around, the joy of watching one of my children interact with others their age, a chance to smile or listen to one of the other adults in nursery that needed a listening ear....Regardless, Jesus was very clear that He came to serve not to be served and I know that is the same heart He expects from me.

So, dear moms, be encouraged and don't give up! It will always "feel" easier to stay home or not go just one more week, but the foundations we are laying are for the life-long AND eternal benefit of each of our children - that is not something we want to take lightly. I also believe and have experienced, that God gives strength and surprise blessings when we walk in His ways - so go expecting Him to surprise you!

Romans 12:1 "Offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God - this is your spiritual act of worship."

Monday, March 8, 2010

Sufficient Grace


What do your overwhelming circumstances look like? Mine seem to vary depending on energy levels and expectations for the day - but one thing always remains the same, every once in a while I get overwhelmed.
I was feeling a little bit of that yesterday and the Lord brought to mind a wonderful truth...
II Cor.12:9 "My grace is sufficient for you, (WHY?) for my power is made perfect in weakness."
Ultimately, if the Holy Spirit is dwelling in us, then no matter how big the pile of laundry, or how sick the child, or how large the bill, God's grace is sufficient. That means it is all we need.
That verse even tells us why His grace is sufficient, because those are God's opportunities to make His power perfect, in our weakness.
God's operating system is reverse to the world's and this is no exception; when we are weak, tired, run down or overwhelmed, it is God's opportunity to be strong.
SO, let's allow Him to be and do all we need, starting today!

Friday, March 5, 2010

Nibbling at Sin



Did your mother ever tell you not to snack on raw cookie dough? Mine didn't - I had never heard that raw eggs or dough could hurt you at all until well into my teens. Needless to say, my love for baking cookies and the taste of raw dough was a combination that was hard to break away from. I did eventually, although I must say I still enjoy a small taste once in a while, although I now understand the risks.

Today, as I was pondering a selection from Dr. John Piper, it reminded me of cookie dough. Let me explain further, but I will first share what it was that Dr. Piper had to say ~

"It is not the banquet of the wicked that dulls our appetite for heaven, but endless nibbling at the table of the world. It's not the X-rated video, but the prime-time dribble of triviality we drink in every night. The greatest adversary of love to God is not his enemies but his gifts. And the most deadly appetites are not for the poison of evil, but for the simple pleasures of earth. For when these replace an appetite for God himself, the idolatry is scarcely recognizable, and almost incurable."

So what is the connection to cookie dough? Well, let me illustrate with a story ~ A short time ago I was making chocolate chip cookies in the kitchen and one of my children (who had been told many times that it was not healthy to eat raw dough) came along and put a big chunk into their mouth. I calmly reminded them that it was not healthy and they smiled and finished eating it. That night, the same child was up in the night vomiting and feeling unwell - no one else in our family ever showed any signs of those symptoms...things that make me go "hmmm". I didn't rub my child's face in the fact that it could have been due to the raw dough, but it did allow for a gentle conversation about the choices we make when we have already been told of the dangers.

Can you see my connection yet? I believe that God often does the same thing with each of us - He warns us of the dangers, allows us to choose for ourselves and then often we may feel we have a gentle conversation with the Lord as to the choices we should have made.

Mark 4:19 says, "The worries of this life, the deceitfulness of wealth and the desires for other things come in and choke the Word, making it unfruitful."

We can be in the Word but if we are also consuming the unhealthy things of this world or giving into worry (which is sin) we may find that we are not experiencing all God has for us.
Please take time to examine what "cookie dough" you may be nibbling at that should really be called SIN. No matter how small we think it is, it has to be removed so that God can more fully move in our lives.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Enjoy the Moment




The other day I was reading a book by Elisabeth Elliot, in which she shared something that I really appreciated. She quoted her deceased husband Jim, and said, "Wherever you are, be all there. Live to the hilt every situation you believe to be the will of God."
That is one of my greatest joys of being a wife and a mother ~ knowing that being at home with my children IS God's will for me. God's Word clearly shows me that I am where God wants me to be...
Titus 2:5 says, "Younger women (are) to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home."
I don't go into a day or week wondering if this is what God really wants me to be doing with my life at this stage. I am thankful to God for that clarity and confidence ~ "the world" will not usually validate my role as a "stay at home mom" so I need to find the confidence in God and His Word.
Once we know that home is where we need to be, then it is up to each of us to carefully use that time AND also enjoy that time.
Today my three year old wanted to do puzzles and I was very happy that my day allowed for time to enjoy that with him. What a privilege when our children are young, that they want to be with us! I love that...and I intend to enjoy as many moments as I can! I hope you can do the same, while enjoying the confidence you are in God's will for your life!