Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Everything We Need


God has promised to give us everything we need! We, as parents, will do whatever it takes to make sure that every need is met that our children have (needs not wants). Yet as much as we know this in our heads I find in day to day conversations, it is evident that this vital information has not made it to our hearts. There is a very quick test you can do to see where you are at with this - Did you worry about anything today?

More times than not, the answer can be yes - but it doesn't have to be. Jesus told us, in Matthew 11:29, that, "(His) yoke is easy and (His) burden in light." And that as we come to Him, He can take those things from us. Sounds easy but it requires faith and action from us. It means we need to truly understand what God has promised, so that we can trust Him to do what He has said He will do.
I love the verses in Matthew 7 that lay this out so plainly - as a parent I believe this strikes the heart of glimpsing the Father's love for us. "Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask Him." As a mom, I can read that and confidently know that if one of our children were truly in need of food, of course I would want to give them something good. Therefore I need to be resting in my Heavenly Father, that even more so when I have a need, He will provide what is required.
I have noticed an interesting trend with our younger children that seems to fade away as they approach the teen years - every once in a while they think that they are not going to get fed. Have you ever noticed that in your home? Sometimes it sounds like, "I am soooo hungry. Are you going to make lunch today?" or "If I don't eat soon I think I might die, what if you don't remember to make supper?" The part I find fascinating is that since beginning parenting almost 13 years ago, I have NEVER, not once, forgotten to feed one of my children. That means I have been consistent (or faithful, if you will) for over 14,000 meals - wow! Now for my children that may doubt a meal is coming, their experience level may land somewhere around 8,000 meals but you would still think that would translate into rest and belief that they will be fed ~ but it doesn't always. When they start to "feel" the hunger and the don't "see" the promise of food before their eyes, they start to worry...have we not done the same thing with our Heavenly Father?
When we know that God has faithfully met our needs in the past, continues to provide for the needs of today, why would we worry that He will "forget" tomorrow's? Because we are like the younger children who are still growing in trusting our Heavenly Father to provide EVERYTHING WE NEED.
So try something new - take a verse like Philippians 4:19 that says, "My God will meet all your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus", or the verse above from Matthew 7, or any other one like it that speaks of God's promise for your provision, and write it out and stick it in a prominent place. The next time that you feel worry start to come to you, go to those verses (which are the living, active Word of God) and speak them out loud. Take them to your situation and say out loud, "My God has promised to meet all my needs according to His riches", or "How much more will my Father in Heaven give me good gifts because I am asking Him." The darkness cannot stay where there is light and worry cannot linger where there is trust in our Heavenly Father.
Do not let fear or worry reign when God wants to give you everything you need!

Thursday, May 20, 2010

God's Amazing Creation


Do you ever get excited about all that God has made? I mean, really excited - fully in awe of our God and His amazing creation? I do, and sometimes I feel almost childish for the thrill I feel when I see birds, animals or or the scenery, but I can't help it. Creation connects with something that is very deep inside and I think God wants it to be that way.

I was recently blessed to have a time of solitude in a quiet place outdoors and I came away so refreshed. It was an intentional time, set aside to be quiet with God, enjoy His Creation and reflect on His Word. I know that time spent that way restores me in ways much deeper than a 'spa getaway' ever could. Oswald Chambers said, "If we are children of God, we have a tremendous treasure in nature and will realize that it is holy and sacred. We will see God reaching out to us in every wind that blows, every sunrise and sunset, every cloud in the sky, every flower that blooms and every leaf that fades." That is exactly what I feel like I have been learning - God reaches to us through all these things He has made.

In Genesis 1 we read that, "God created the heavens and the earth." Then in Psalms 24:1 it says, "The earth is the Lord's, and everything in it." Later on in the Psalms, it tells us, "The whole earth is full of His glory." And in Isaiah, the earth is described as God's footstool. All these verses remind me that God has given us a very special gift in all that we are surrounded by, but it is our responsibility to take time and enjoy Him in it.
We cannot enjoy what we cannot see, and we cannot grow in relationships we do not invest in. If we want to be close to the Creator of our incredible earth, who happens to be our Heavenly Father, then it is going to take a real investment of effort and time ~ it will not happen automatically. But there is good news, we will always get back more than we could ever give out.
Experience your Creator and linger in His glory - He made it with you in mind!

Saturday, May 15, 2010

What is Your Child's Love Language?


When I look at the six most important people in my life that God has given me to love unconditionally, I am amazed that each of them needs to be "told" they are loved in different ways. What I do for one of my children can send them sky high "feeling" loved for days, whereas if I do the exact same thing for another one of them it does not even scratch the surface of them realizing I was trying to communicate anything. The topic of "Love Languages" is broad and extensive and I have no intention of trying to share everything I have learned, but I am so glad that someone shared it with me when our children were young that I want to attempt a quick summary of what I have learned so far.

Of the various resources I have learned from, there seems to be a general consensus that there are five ways that people most frequently "feel" loved. They are "acts of service", "quality time", "encouraging words", "physical touch" and "gift giving". If you stop for a moment and think about each of your children, as well as your spouse, you will probably find that what seems to mean the most to them in everyday life fits into one of those categories. That is the simple way of identifying a love language.

According to the Ezzo's, "Every day we choose to love and every day we choose not to love", emphasizing that if we have to reach out to our family in a way that is not natural to us, we are consciously choosing to love them as best as we can and in their "own language". Studies show that without making intentional effort, we will revert back to communicating in the language that is most comfortable to us, therefore only effectively reaching those that share in a common love language. The Ezzo's also teach that all children can receive and need to experience a combination of the five love languages for healthy development, but by the age of seven you will find that there is one language that speaks much more strongly to them (for our children we were pretty sure with each of them by the age of four and so far we have been right).

It is amazing to find that a child who feels loved through "gift giving" will feel very loved by receiving something as simple as a pencil or a pack of gum. With those who thrive on "quality time" a story on the couch or a walk with just one parent will keep their love tank filled for quite a while. An example of "physical touch" would be the child that needs to crawl up on your lap to refresh themselves after a hard day or the one that wants their back scratched till your hand tires. With "encouraging words" they will take a simple card or note and tuck it under their pillow to read, reread and reread again or listen with a beaming smile as you compliment them on a job well done. Finally, with "acts of service" this child will feel very treasured as you do something for them, as simple as fixing a toy or helping them clean their room.

As you can see from this list, all children (and adults) need to be shown love in all five languages - who of us wouldn't enjoy any of the these things? But as you express love to your children you need to watch for the response that shows you have connected with them deep inside - it seems to fuel them to want to be with you more and more. This is when you know you are speaking their "love language" and I believe, it is also the key to helping us as parents, hold onto their hearts. Not only with our children, but our husbands too - it is so important to know how they "feel" loved. Keep in mind it is often the opposite of how you as a wife and mother may feel treasured, so it does require a choice to do what you know they will receive from. This is why it is vital to understand the concept of Love Languages - if you are yelling "I LOVE YOU" to your children or spouse through your natural love language, but it isn't theirs, they may never know. But if you even whisper "I LOVE YOU" in their language you will reach a special place in their heart.

I hope this helps and creates an interest for more information - there are great books and tools out there. But most importantly, be attentive to discover the love language of each member in your family then be creative to express your love in a way that truly reaches the heart. God will give you the insight that you need - He is the Author of both our families and the languages of love.

I Corinthians 13:7&8 says "Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Messes - What is a Mom to do?


There are so many images I could have chosen for this thought of "Messes - What is a Mom to do?" It does not take being a mom very long to realize that mess is part of the package that comes with kids, whether it be an exploding infant diaper, a baby with penaten cream in hand or a toddler with crayons...it just happens.
In choosing a photo to accompany these thoughts, I spent an enjoyable amount of time smiling and reminiscing on how many photos I had to chose from...the amazing thing is that I remember how hard I often had to try to "enjoy" the mess of the moment when it happened but as I thought back, it brought great joy to my heart instantly. HMMMM!


This photo does represent a current event with a fun story - someone, who will remain anonymous, decided to do some baking (which is a wonderful thing) and seeing that they were managing well, I stepped out of the way to let them have some independence. At the final stage of the recipe, I heard from the other room, "Boy, 1 cup of baking powder and half a cup of baking soda sure is a lot, isn't it, Mom?" I had a choice to make in an instant - how would I respond? This was childishness not foolishness, as the Ezzos so wisely teach, and I needed to step back and let my child fail gracefully. That is a lot to process in an instant, but after a short WHAT?, I recovered and held this person as they began to cry and recognize their mistake. I promised them that in the very near future they would laugh and someday it might be a favourite story - but for now we had some dough to dispose of and a new batch to make. "You mean you will let me try again?" YES - we all deserve a second chance and if you fall off a horse, you get right back on, I was taught. The next batch was a great success and not only was it enjoyed by our family for supper, there was enough to share with the neighbours, too.
So, where am I going with all this? Kids make mess - that is not rocket science if you are a parent, but how we respond takes mental focus and practice in preparedness. I remember back to my babies in dirt, toddlers in flour bins, little boys into face makeup just before church, little girls with nail polish on white carpet...and I used to think stories like that came from inattentive parents. No, those things happen faster than we can blink! That is just life with kids and what keeps us humble and very aware of our need for God's protection on our kids. So how do we prepare for these events?
First, we remind ourselves that we were kids once who made mistakes AND more importantly, we still make mistakes. This baking event was a perfect time to delve up an old story from my "learning to bake" days and help my child realize that perfection in the kitchen is not a realistic goal and neither is perfection in life. We are all on a journey of learning and need to learn how to laugh at mistakes we make.
Second, we need to recognize that it is our expectations of our children in the moment or even the day that make these times harder to deal with. If we know, and even expect, that there will likely be some "interruptions" that require our assistance they will be far easier to smile at.
Thirdly, we ask God for strength in the millisecond we have to process with, that we can make the moment a special memory with our child and not a bitter regret ~ Our kids truly need our affirmation and love at these moments. When I look back on these events, I don't usually remember where I was going or what I needed to do, that made the "mess" so inconvenient - I remember the sweetness of the accident and the innocence of the one who was just doing what kids do - being kids.
The old saying is so true, "They are only young once". May we be found full of patience and abounding in love, ready to face whatever the moments are about to bring. For we know that God will use it to work a deeper work in our lives, IF we will let Him.
James 1 says it best, "Consider it PURE JOY, my (sisters), whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Happy Mother's Day


Is this not what Mother's Day is all about? This picture says it all - gorgeous dandelions (my favourite "flower" since having children), a sweet smile, somewhat chubby hands and a runny nose (that I did not plan to have in the picture, but I think it goes).


God is so good! Does it ever amaze you that He trusts us to raise these precious children? Sometimes I sit and reflect on the magnitude of the job at hand, with each child that needs so much love, time, direction, discipline, teaching, training....and on it goes. And yet, in God's great design with mothering, it seems the more we give out to them - especially in the younger years, the more we get back! What is better than wiping a bum while from the other end, I hear, "I love you, Mommy"? It just doesn't get better than that.
I am so glad God has allowed me to be a mom. Yes, there are hard days - in fact, there are days so hard that we feel we might not make it, but when we press into God who has given us this role, there is always new strength to be found.
Look carefully at your children as we enter into Mother's Day - watch for ways you can savour what they are doing without them noticing. Try to store in your heart a sweet thought that they trust you enough to share it with. Most of all, whether they behave well or it is just a bad day - remember this is truly the Highest Calling we could ask for...being entrusted to shape the life of another who totally trusts us, adores us and wants to be like us. May we be found worthy.
Proverbs 31:25, 28 & 30 "She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come...Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her...Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised."

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Making Beds

What on earth could I have to say about to making beds? Is this a how to? I am sure you all know how to make beds as well as I do, so this is definitely not a "how to" article...this is a mom sharing while surrounded in laundry, changing sheets and beds, dishes, vacuuming and on it goes. This is life and I love it - but I am reminding myself of that today.
Do you ever get times like that? What amazes me is that no matter what we get to do for our families, as moms, it almost all has to be repeated the next day or sooner. I completed laundry for our family of seven, had kids help me put it away and five hours later when I was tucking in kids for the night, the hamper in the hall was 3/4 full already - how is this possible? It is possible because I am blessed with five healthy kids who love to play outside and I should not let myself complain even for a moment...but every once in a while my heart and body grow weary.

What is a mom to do? First, ACCEPT that even though our children and husbands may not notice the clean sheets when they crawl into bed at night - God does. They may not realize that all their underwear is washed, dried and folded neatly in their drawers (again) but God does. Even though they may not remember that they had a healthy breakfast, lunch and supper - God does.

Second, TELL God that we are weary and we need Him to fill us fresh with strength that comes from Him and not from us. Ephesians 3:16 says, "I pray that out of his glorious riches He may strengthen you with power through His Spirit in your inner being." God is truly right here with us and willing to give us whatever we need to not just make it through the day, but do it full of strength.

Third, REJOICE in the Lord - WORSHIP Him - PRAISE Him and THANK Him. We are a blessed people in a blessed country and our troubles are momentary and light, the Word tells us. As we focus on God and not our situations we will get a glimpse of an eternal perspective. There is a reason that Paul said it twice in Philippians 4:4, "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice...The Lord is near."

I need these reflections as much as every other mom - I am ready to go back and tackle all that is still left for this day and tomorrow will worry about itself - God is more that able to carry me through. Enjoy your beds and dishes and cooking, may they remind us of the gifts we have been entrusted with for this time.

Monday, May 3, 2010

Cheerful & Joyful Hearts


God intends for all of us to have cheerful and joyful hearts and so that our joyful hearts can bless those around us, we have to let the joy reach our faces too. I have been reading lots of verses on cheerfulness & joy and some of my favourites have been in Proverbs. Listen to these excerpts from Proverbs 15&17 "A happy heart makes the face cheerful...The cheerful heart has a continual feast...A cheerful look brings joy to the heart...A cheerful heart is good medicine." That is a very provoking collection from only two chapters, I could go on but I think it illustrates well what is on my heart to share.
Years ago, I read a wonderful challenge from Teri Maxwell, written for moms, in which she shared how she overcame a significant time of depression in her life. She said that she would get out of bed and once she was ready for the day, she would ask the Lord to strengthen her and then walk into their hallway with a small on her face and a cheerful greeting for her children, EVEN THOUGH she felt awful inside at that time. This short challenge so impacted me ~ I have thought back to it over and over again!
Ultimately, we want to learn how to walk out our lives, as moms, in God's strength and with the joy that comes from Him. But sometimes circumstances cause us to feel far away from that joy or we are just so tired we can't even find the strength to connect with the Source of all joy. In those moments, my hope is to let CHOOSING reign over FEELING. We might FEEL exhausted, sick, grumpy, worn out - but if we CHOOSE to start with a cheerful look, it will bring joy to our family's hearts. But don't stop there, we have to take the time to ask the Lord Jesus to work out fresh, true joy deep within us. Normally it is our hearts that needs the joy first, not our faces, but once in a while it can happen in the reverse and I believe God honours our efforts.
A cheerful heart IS good medicine and not only do our families need that, they deserve it. I want my children to know me and remember me as a cheerful mom with a heart full of joy - that is a daily walk, not a one time experience. It requires us depending on God to do that work within us not just conjuring it up every day, but don't hesitate to start on the outside and work in, if necessary.
Philippians 1:6 says, "He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." We are all still under construction and God want to be at work in us, on us and through us! May we be open to all He wants to do, to fill our hearts with greater cheerfulness and joy.