Begin With the End in Mind

At our monthly Mom's gathering this month, we were discussing the use of our time; one of God's greatest gifts and one of the few resources that is not renewable or able to be replenished. The discussion was not for the sake of heaping more guilt on ourselves, since most of us do that quite well, but for the purpose of evaluating how we are using our time and whether we are being as effective as we can be. Notice the word "effective", it has a very different meaning than the word "busy". I looked them both up in the dictionary this evening and their meanings are almost opposite:
Effective - "producing a decisive or desired effect"
Busy - "to be full of activity"
(both definitions take from The Merriam-Webster Dictionary, 2004)
I don't know about you, but I want my life to be effective while trying to stay away from being busy. How do we accomplish that? I think it goes back to a phrase that is used quite often, that I referred to in my title, "Begin With the End in Mind".
We should be examining what our goals are for ourselves, our families and our children. Then we can measure the parts of our daily activity against something that is predetermined as a set standard. If we are parenting "With the End in Mind" we should be thinking ahead to what we want our children to truly value when they are grown adults. We should be looking at how we want them to be able to stand up for God and His Truth. We should be dreaming of what God may have for them to do with the gifts He has placed within each of them. Those should be the things that determine where and how we invest our time and subsequently, their time, right now.
For our Mom's Night, we looked a Jar of Time:
Given the fact that we each have 24 hours a day to work with, we talked about the age old illustration of Big Rocks. The only way we can get the Big Rocks into our lives is to put them there first!
Our children will have many things they are drawn to and interested in but as parents it is not up to us to accommodate every fad or whim - it is up to us to prayerfully discern with them AND for them, what is the most EFFECTIVE use of their time and ours.
God has given us the ability as parents to have experienced how fast the early years fly by and I believe it is up to us to choose wisely for our children. May we not look back with regret to wasted years of BUSY when we could have been EFFECTIVE!

Faithful in Little

I find it hard to believe but I am reaping the rewards of seeds that have been planted in our children in very special ways. I know that shouldn't surprise me, but it does AND it does more than that, it blesses me!

One of our daughters was a sweet example of that tonight. We had enjoyed guests through the afternoon and when evening came to clean up from supper and put the younger ones to bed, she joined in without being asked and began to help. I am glad to say that is not unusual, but she went way beyond the call of duty this time.

As I continued to clean on the main floor with our older son, I heard scurries of noises upstairs and knew she must be helping encourage some bedtime preparation. By the time I came upstairs she had our three year old in bed with Bible, prayer, teeth and jammies done and our five year old enjoying a devotional story all ready for bed as well. I praised her and thanked her for that and finished putting the second one to bed and then invited our ten year old downstairs. I thanked her again and told her how much that meant to me and she responded with an amazing response...She told me that she felt like just going downstairs to play but thought about how much I still had to do and then said a verse came to mind. The verse was from Matthew 25:23 "Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things." She told me that as soon as she thought of that verse she knew that she needed to be faithful with what she could do to help now, so that she would be able to faithful with more later. My mother's heart was very blessed.

I do not write this to impress, but to encourage...I couldn't see the forest for the trees a few years ago - I couldn't have imagined having a daughter that could step in and help so much. This is why I want to encourage you - as we work with our children diligently we will reap rewards. I was also reminded, that God has promised His Word does not return void and I experienced that again tonight. It was God's Word hidden in my daughter's heart that caused her to be motivated to higher things - I know that this is what we want for each of our children.
We can't take Gal.6:9 lightly - we really will reap a harvest IF we do not give up!

Interruptions

Wow - the title "Interruptions" came to me on Monday evening and without any exaggeration, I have tried to find time to share this all week. The irony, of course, is that every space I had open to take time to share has been filled with....you guessed it, INTERRUPTIONS.
The good news is that I have laughed about most of them, groaned about a few and just about lost it once or twice - but God has truly been faithful this week.
A scripture from one of my quiet times this week describes it best - this is from the Message, in James 1. It says, "Consider it a SHEER GIFT, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You KNOW that under pressure your faith-life is forced into the open to show its true colours." I must say that in a small way that represents this week more than any I have experienced in a long time.
So, why do we have to experience interruptions? James is quite clear that we are supposed to not just survive them but appreciate them - we are growing in new ways. Whether it is the dog throwing up, the kids breaking a glass bottle, a broken windshield, financial challenges, etc...it is for our good and God will use it to grow us more IF we let Him.
I was reading a quote from Amy Carmichael (missionary to India) in which she greatly challenged me in how I view my interruptions...
"A cup brimful of sweetness cannot spill even one drop of bitter water, no matter how suddenly jarred."
I love that picture - if we are full of sweetness!
So I again lay down my plans and agenda, while still managing our home and ask God to fill me fresh with sweetness so that when I am jarred I will not be found with bitter water - whether in my response to children, spouse or even the dog!

He Delights in You

As we took some time to share Valentine's Day together yesterday as a family, I had a wonderful reminder that I wanted to share with you. It is that God delights in each of us!
I was reflecting on the joy of having a family that loves me in my role as wife and mother, as well as the joy I have of having family that I can shower my love on - those being my husband, my daughters and my sons.
During a time of reflective prayer at our church, I sensed God saying that He delights in me ~ I was drawn back to an older worship song from the 90's that sings about being in God's arms of love...as I received that special time from the Lord, I also sensed I was to share it and pass that along - God DELIGHTS in YOU!
He does not tolerate you, He does sigh and turn away...as you seek Him and pour your heart out before Him, He delights in you. Psalm 147:11 says, "The Lord delights in those who fear Him, who put their hope in His unfailing love." Then just a couple chapters later, it says in Psalm 149:4, "For the Lord takes delight in His people."
Enjoy that your Creator, Redeemer and Friend is also your Lover and He is delighting in YOU TODAY!
Blessings and Love,
Kristen

Molding Hearts

I know this is going to sound a little repetitive, but I really want to share a brief reminder of what our goal should be as moms (and dads) when we are correcting and training our little ones... Our goal should be more than just stopping frustrating or bad behaviour - our goal should be molding their hearts! I have observed that many children, both in secular and Christian homes, do not have a place within them to even access whether what they are doing is right or wrong.

In the parenting course, Growing Kids Gods Way, the Ezzos refer to the heart of a child as having two halves - one half that God has written on and the other half that God allows us to write on. I love this illustration because it speaks to the importance of our role in our chilren's lives and the opportunity God has given us. I believe that the sooner we start to "write" on those hearts, the easier it is for our children to retain God's values and disciplines for his or her life.

The Ezzos also refer to all of us having a "Conscience Warehouse" where each of us mentally refers to every time we are faced with a situation that requires us to make a moral choice. As parents, we are filling that "warehouse" with important reference points that our children will use and refer to for the rest of their lives.

When we mold our children's hearts and fill their "warehouses" with God's Word, we are equipping them for many more scenarios in life than we could possibly teach now.
II Tim.3:16 says, "All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man (or child) of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work."

Let us not grow weary in this incredibly important job that God has given us in these early years with our children - we are molding hearts that God wants to use in great ways!

Why Don't We Ask?

This morning as I was in the Word, I was pondering a text that is familiar to most, I am sure. It is in Luke 11, just after Jesus has shared the Lord's Prayer with His disciples, he continues on to tell the story of a man heading out on a journey. The story is told that this man needs some bread to take with him on his trip and so late at night he arrives at the house of a friend and asks for three loaves. Jesus says that this friend will not get out of bed to give the bread because of their friendship, but because of his BOLDNESS he will give him as much as he needs. Immediately following, comes the verse most of us learned as children, "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you."

I don't know about you, but when I was younger and many times since, I have understood that verse to mean that if we asked Jesus into our heart, He would come in. This is true and may still be a valid application, but God has challenged my heart in a newer way - you see, the verse follows directly after the story of the man needing bread and if we are taking the scripture from the full context this cannot be overlooked. What am I getting at?
For us, as moms, we struggle to meet the daily demands that can be placed on us some days, don't we? We feel like there is more to do than can be done...there are more squabbles than we care to mediate....there is more laundry than we want to fold...there are more bills than we have the funds to cover...the list could go on and on. BUT my point is this, God is a God of infinite resource and ability. The story Jesus told shows He is willing to provide not just because of His "friendship" but because of our "boldness" in asking. WHY DON'T WE ASK?

James 1:5 says "If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to ALL without finding fault, and it WILL BE given to him." We all need wisdom and need to ask the Lord , claiming this verse and I believe we will receive it. I have experienced it over and over...but tie that together with Luke 11:8 where is says "Because of the man's boldness he will get up and give him as much as he needs." I believe you have a combination that allows us to boldly go to God with all of our daily needs, challenges and problems and receive ALL that we require and more.

The hardest part of the battle is in our minds, if we can take captive those thoughts and make them obedient to Christ (II Cor. 10:5), then we can move into our problems with the FAITH to know God will give us all we need!

Go into the new day being the Mom that God has made you to be, in His strength, in His power and in His joy!

Building "Mommy Muscle"

This morning I am thinking of my special friends who are in the early years of babies and toddlers. I have chatted with a few over the last little bit and I hear the repeated phrases of "tired" or "overwhelmed" or "harder than I thought this would be". It has brought back a phrase that came to me quite a while ago that I call "Building Mommy Muscle".

I must say that I have never spent much time in a real gym, but I have heard that as you begin to seriously train at one, your muscles can ache and hurt as you push yourself to lift more and build that muscle. Over time, you may continue to work out at the gym but the same pain of the early stages is not quite as intense. This is what I sometimes equate to "Mommy Muscle".

It is in the during our first pregnancy that we begin to develop the first signs of "Mommy Muscle" - it comes as we realize we need to watch our food, activities and rest, as for the first time in our lives it is directly affecting someone other than ourselves. Then, that little, amazing gift from God arrives and we are full swing into growing our "muscle" as we have someone that is in our world that depends on us 24 hours a day, 7 days a week - no holidays! That is okay, though, because as God has so beautifully designed us - we adjust and love the experience, as we grow into that new role.

As the years start to come and go that little baby moves from crawling, then walking, then running and opening up our world to new things at the same time they discover their world. They move into testing boundaries and finding out what they can and can't do...all this time our "muscle" continues to grow, sometimes with pain and sometimes without us realizing it. Another baby may arrive in the meantime and that "muscle" grows even faster.

At some point every mother stops, usually more than a few times in those early years, and realizes this is really hard work. It is not as easy as we had expected and don't even feel like it is what we signed up for - this is when we choose to keep building "Mommy Muscle". At these points of crisis, so to speak, we have the choice whether we are going to take the easy road and lower our standards for our children's behaviour and give in to some of the world's operating systems OR push through, even though we feel like giving up, and be blessed by the respite that WILL COME!

A dear friend sent me Galatians 6:9 the other day and it is a perfect verse to close with. "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."

I believe that with all my heart - as we pursue God during these years of "Mommy Muscle" building, we will look back and see His hand on us through all those times! IT IS WORTH IT - it will get easier, AND God is doing something special inside of us that could not be formed if life were easy!

Love you, my sisters,

Kristen

Sibling Rivalry

When I think of the phrase ~ Sibling Rivalry ~ it always takes me back to an old episode of Home Improvement. Jill, the aspiring psychologist, asks her husband, Tim, if he knows what causes the sibling rivalry; his response is priceless, "Of course, having more than one child".
That is about the extent of it, isn't it? Any of us that have had more than one child, knows what it is to watch two or more of your own children (who you love with equal passion), hurt each other with either words or actions.
I remember in the earlier years of parenting, being very discouraged by this reality and one day coming across an article by a godly, homeschooling mom of 8 (Teri Maxwell). In her article she shared that God had shown her a new way of processing the arguments between her children - instead of allowing herself to feel upset when her children were fighting, she looked at it as a new opportunity to teach them how to love each other.
This may seem idealistic, but it has helped me tremendously since I read it 7 years ago. My children still argue, bicker and fight, and as a mom, I still experience feelings of frustration and disappointment, but I feel that I have learned how to address those issues much better than I used to. Having the outlook of a "new opportunity" instead of "another frustration" really makes a difference because of my perspective.
These are the training years with our children, the foundations for how they process life for the next 80+ years, the time to help them learn - they need God's help to learn how to show love to others as much as we do. Theodore Tripp refers to this as the place where we are on the same level with our children since we all struggle, but still above them because we are their parents. May we be setting the best example possible.
"Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else." I Thess.5:13