Childish Things

I feel as if I am being rushed through stages of life these days that I am doing my best to savour. My 12 year old, who is moving towards 13 so quickly, took me to a new level of life this week. He was inspired, and I am not complaining, to clean his room from top to bottom and all four corners. The end result is wonderful and very tidy - the process was a little long and more emotional for myself than it was for him. Why? Because he was lightly saying goodbye to many items that to me represent part of who he has been to this point in his life. Now his siblings rooms are blessed with many new things that have yet to find a home - ever notice that one clean room seems to equal three newly messy ones? Not a math equation that I am appreciating quite yet. Regardless, it was a beautiful thing to see him take so many items and evaluate whether they still held value and if not, who they should go to.

During this process, I have had 1 Corinthians 13:11 running through my head all week - after Paul explains the depths of love, he says, "When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man I put childish ways behind me." I realize that although my son is not yet a man, his talking, thinking and reasoning is moving in that direction - I am very proud of him and glad to say I enjoy his company immensely. BUT I am feeling sad at the same time in needing to be accepting of the fact that we are beginning to say goodbye to the days of childhood that we have savoured together.

As a full-time mom, I reflect over and over again on the privilege I have each day of being together with my children all day. I think back through almost thirteen years with my young man and remember countless times of colouring, play dough, silly board games, storybooks and so much more. He is not gone, but those early days are gone. Yes, everyone told me that time would pass quickly but to be honest, with the privilege of being home all the time I would not say time went that quickly - it just didn't stop and stand still like I wish, in some ways, it would. I am choosing to focus on the celebration of watching my son step into the teen years - he is a wonderful young man, with a growing heart to serve, learn and grow. I am so thankful for each moment we have enjoyed to this point, that will make the days ahead that much richer.

It is okay to put away childish things - in order to move towards the new things that God has. May we be found to savour each day as God brings it - whether we can see far into the distance or only around the next bend. Each day is a gift!

Washing Each Other's Feet

A while ago, I shared about serving one another in love and recently my three year old gave me a great reminder of that. We were in our school room starting our Bible time when I felt someone playing with my slippers. I asked him what he was doing and he told me he wanted to clean my feet. This is not the first time he has kindly used a cloth and cream to "clean" my feet, but it was his funniest for timing. Since he is not school aged, he is allowed to play while the rest of us focus on Bible, so...while I read to the others, my feet were gently cared for and by the end, I was a very relaxed mommy.

I have thought of him over and over, hunched under the desk so sweetly "cleaning" my feet and I just keep thinking about Jesus and his disciples. In John 13, we are told that Jesus knew his time on earth had come to an end and he wanted to show the full extent of his love - so he chose to wash his disciples feet. When he was finished he further instructed the disciples, starting in verse 14, by saying, "Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you...Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them."

God used my three year old to set an example, just as Jesus set for his disciples, and it encouraged me to keep loving and serving. It also made me more aware of watching for opportunities that I can continue to serve my family in. We all need to have real ways that we can see and touch, like I experienced in the school room.

Not all three year olds will wash our feet, but we all need to be loved in the ways we receive it. Jesus not only encouraged us to do the same as he did, but he said we will be blessed if we do them. I know I want to be open to as much blessing as God has - do you?

Don't give up and keep washing those feet - as moms, we have so many ways we can wash feet. There are the tub times when we really do get to wash those real feet, or maybe your husbands rough day and you pull his foot into your lap to massage it for a while - you might not "feel" like it at first, but make the "choice" and your feelings will follow. Look for those opportunities - they are out there and you will be blessed!

What are You Listening To?

I have been enjoying reading a classic allegory by John Bunyan (author of Pilgrim's Progress), entitled The Holy War. Written in the 1600's, he describes a town called Mansoul which was created for the delight of King Shaddai. As the story begins, John Bunyan carefully explains that the only way to enter into the town is through one of the "impregnable gates", and the only way the gates can be opened is by the permission of the people within. As you read on you find that the evil, giant Diabolus, who is an enemy of the King, discovers that the town of Mansoul is the king's prize possession. So he decides to invade and take over the town, of which he is successful. The part that impacted me the most was how he accomplishes this victory - it is by sending his men through the "Ear Gate", which is main entrance into the town.

I will not spoil the ending, as it is a very valuable read, but I want to draw out a very important truth that John Bunyan works so hard to communicate... the town of Mansoul's most vulnerable and important point of entry was "The Ear Gate".

What are we listening to? What are we allowing our children to listen to? I know it is easy to brush off that question and feel like lyrics, movies, negative friendships are not that dangerous - but do we really know that to be for sure?

We all probably know the beautiful verse from Proverbs 22:6 "Train a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not turn from it." But do you know the verse that precedes that one? Proverbs 22:5 says, "In the paths of the wicked lie thorns and snares, but he who guards his soul stays far from them."

I believe one of the best ways to "guard our soul" is by guarding what we allow through our own "Ear Gate". Just as within the allegory of Mansoul, it is not because the King wanted to spoil their lives or ruin their fun, but because He saw the dangers that existed beyond the "gates" if they allowed those influences in. I desire to share that we need to be so cautious with our "gates" not because of legalism but because of wisdom. It is easy to become accustomed to words, talk, theories and overall negative influences without realizing how we are being affected deep within. For me, it wasn't until I had removed some of those subtleties from my life and then was exposed to them a few years later, that I was shocked at what I had accepted as "okay".

Let's ask the Holy Spirit to show us what we may be listening to, that is allowing the enemy access to our precious "gates" in the town of our "Mansoul". The battle is constant and it is real and there is not time in this day and age to sit on the fence and see what happens with the choices we make. Would we not rather look back twenty years from now, when our children have reached adulthood and realize we erred on the side of caution instead of the side of folly?

God loves us too much to allow us to be content with having our "gates" infiltrated - He loves our children too much to look the other way when we allow them to hear and take in what is not honouring to Him ~ may we take a fresh look at how to guard our gates.

Carefree Living

In this day and age, it seems there are not too many people enjoying what we would call "carefree living" and the reality is that worry goes back to the beginning of time. This image of our three year old looks like carefree living to me - I love that there are no worries displayed on his face and no thoughts of fear running in his mind...it seems to come much easier though for kids than it does for us. Why is that? Many reasons: kids don't have to pay a mortgage, kids don't have to raise kids (although they do have to raise parents), kids don't look to the future and wonder if things are going to work out - in fact, they very much live in the present and trust their needs will be met.

Remember when Jesus said to his disciples that unless they became like children they would not be able to enter the kingdom of heaven? I think that living like our kids has a lot to do with what Jesus had in mind there. It does not matter what item I have on my "worry list", God already knows how that need can be met or that problem could be solved. In fact, He has told us not to worry in Matthew 6:25-34 "I tell you, DO NOT WORRY about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear (that pretty much sums up most of our common worries, doesn't it)...Look at the birds of the air...are you not much more valuable than these...See how the lilies of the field grow...how much more will He clothe you...Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness and ALL these things will be given to you as well. Therefore, DO NOT WORRY about tomorrow."

I love reading Jesus' words here because they comfort me but I also greatly respect His words because they challenge me - do you realize ultimately what Jesus was saying? If we are worrying, we are sinning! Whatever we are instructed not to do but chose to do anyway is giving the enemy access in our lives. The biggest battle, no matter what the problem we are facing is, happens in our minds! That is why we are told to take every thought captive - God knows what will happen to us if we don't and then He tells us what to do with every thought - make it obedient to Christ(II Corinthians 10:5). If our thoughts are being obedient, it means they are lining up with Jesus'words, which in this case means we cannot worry.

If we look at I Peter5:7, we are told what to do next, "Cast all your anxiety (or worries) on Him (God) because He cares for you." Do you know what an easy exercise that is that we so often do not do? It should be as simple as it sounds - Go for a walk; in your basement or bedroom if need be and just talk out loud to your Heavenly Father who hears you - "God, you know that I am feeling __________(overwhelmed, worried, scared) but your Word says that I am supposed to cast (throw) that over to You. I know that I cannot fix this alone and I am choosing to give it to You. Please come and work this out in my life and I trust You to do it. In Jesus' name, Amen."

Now, what is the first thing that is going to happen when you walk out of that room where you committed those things to God? You know - thoughts are going to come and speak discouragement and lack of hope in your mind! What are you going to do? It is a choice - you are going to say out loud - "I have already given (cast) that over to God and I am not going to pick it up again - it is in His hands and He has a solution."

I can promise you, when you walk out your problems with that kind of action and faith, you are putting into action a rescue plan that will not fail. God ALWAYS keeps His promises and when you place your cares in His hands, there will be a solution, far better than your own.

Our Husbands

I am so blessed to have a husband who loves me, our children and the Lord - but he is not perfect and neither am I. I used to think that I would get to the point where marriage was smooth sailing and there was nothing more to work on or work out - but I am slowing realizing that it will not happen during our lifetime here on earth. The reason, of course, is that two imperfect people, no matter how much they love each other, will have bad days, selfish days and blah days. I am speaking more of myself than my husband, by the way.

God's Word gives us, as wives, very clear instruction on what our attitudes should be in our hearts towards our husbands and I want to look at that here. Ephesians 5:33 gives very clear instruction, it says, "The wife MUST respect her husband." This is not optional, my friends, this is a requirement. I wonder whether the first thing to come to our minds is something along the lines of, "Sure I will, as long as he...." That is the way the enemy wants us to think - which is why we are instructed to renew our minds and take thoughts captive and make them obedient to Christ. The world will tell us, now more than ever, that we only need to treat our husbands in a way that is honouring IF they are doing _____ for us. God's tells us that we are to LOVE (Titus 2:4), SUBMIT TO (Colossians 3:18), BE SUBJECT TO (Titus 2:5), BE SUBMISSIVE TO (I Peter 3:1), FULFILL MARITAL DUTY TO(I Corinthians 7:3) and BE BOUND TO (Romans 7:2) our husbands - there are NO if's, and's or but's. That is our responsibility regardless of our husband's attitudes, actions or habits. In fact, those who are married to an unbelieving husband are even expected to carry out these actions because I Corinthians 7 tells us that it causes your children to be holy and says you do not know whether you will save your husband with your testimony.

Maybe as we reflect on these things, we are feeling that God is not being fair to place expectations on us that don't have an "excuse clause". Just as with raising our children, I don't believe God's first goal for us is happiness, I believe it is holiness. As we live out these actions in front of our husbands we will be encouraging them, supporting them and in some cases, winning their hearts to the Lord. We can't see what God will do with our faithfulness behind the closed doors of our homes, but He sure can! God has plans bigger than we can imagine for our marriages and families, but they can only come about if we will carry out life God's way.

I was sitting in a doctor's office this week and overheard (the whole room overheard) a young mom's discussion with her husband on her cell phone. I recognized her from a local church but her words did not match to what one would hope to hear from a church going wife..."Well, you better get down here. You can't leave me with two kids for this whole time. I know you work till 4 but I need you now!" And on it went. My heart sunk - we cannot be demanding help from our husbands nor should we be speaking to them in any way that puts them down or discourages them. If we need their help we need to go with a gentle heart and ask for their help - how much more it will bring them joy to serve us when we ask than when we demand - I Corinthians 13 tells us that, "Love NEVER demands its own way." Our husbands are the men that God has bound us to and the ones that WE CHOSE to spend life with for better or for worse - I happen to know it would be a lot better if we walked out treating them as God would have us to.

It is getting harder to find examples of a godly wife in our world, whether on display with the media, our friends and sometimes even in the church - but it is time for us to be one! God needs us to live our lives worthy of the calling we have received and that must include honouring and respecting our husbands - for the sake of our marriages, our children, those around us and the world. I don't claim to have come close to arriving in this, God is working hard on me, but I have my eyes set on the goals that God has laid out and I know that is where I want to be heading. It will not be easy but the reward will be so great that we will realize there is no cost that should stand in our way.

The next time you feel like snapping at your husband, demanding help or complaining that he is late for supper again - take a deep breath, ask God to help you be the wife He wants you to be and then respond in love. And remember, they are out there fighting a battle that is very challenging for them - they need to have a safe refuge and God has designed us as wives to be that place. Love never fails!

Ephesians 4:1-3 "I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient; bearing with one another in love."

Hard Work

My oldest and I have been reading a great book together in the evenings entitled Do Hard Things, written by two young men, Alex and Brett Harris. I have to say, I am so impressed with this book - not just because it is written well but because of the discussions it has sparked between us and the fruit we see it bearing in our son's life.

We recently had a work weekend with our family and I am happy to say, it was fun. All of our kids pitched in together and worked hard. Our 10 year old is consistently a cheerful and hard worker but our oldest sometimes struggles to do what needs to be done with a happy heart. We were so blessed on this occasion because our son not only rose to the challenges presented to him but he encouraged others to rise as well! I overheard our 10 year old say, "This is to heavy to carry, I just can't do it." I was so thrilled to hear our 12 year old son came along side her and pick up the other end and reply, "Yes you can, I will help you. You know, sometimes you just have to do hard things!"

I share this not to paint my kids as perfect, because they aren't; but to celebrate some seeds that we have planted over and over are starting to show signs of growth. I know I have said it time and again - but we will reap what we sow - not right away but it will come.

Then a few weeks ago, during our Friday morning chores, our five year old offered to teach our three year old how to vacuum the stairs. I silently laughed but agreed that if she could teach him, he could take over that job. Only moments later, I heard her start into a wonderful explanation of HOW to clean the stairs, WHY it was important to do it well and encourage him to do it carefully. He took it on and did a very good job for a first time but more importantly it gave our five year old an opportunity to share a skill and have a teaching moment.

The book, Do Hard Things is not the answer, but it is one of many amazing resources that are out there right now. The key is not finding the BEST book, the key is utilizing resources as a doorway into our children's lives and the chance to share life lessons. Every day we have the opportunity to continue to plant God's Word in their lives and also seeds of ethics and values that align with His Word. I often think of the story of The Tortoise and the Hare; it is not the fastest that wins the race but the ones that plod along and take time to slowly lay the foundations in our children. There is not much that happens in big chunks but in the little pieces consistently shared over and over.

Proverbs 4:13 "Hold on to instruction, do not let it go; guard it well for it is your life."

True Heritage

This past year my grandma died at the wonderful age of 97. She had lived 6 years without my grandpa and had missed him so much - she knew where she was going when she passed from earth and she was ready. This was the last of my grandparents to go and the great-grandparents of our children. We were very blessed that we had so much time to enjoy with my grandma, but it was certainly very hard to say goodbye.

I have found the past months have left a noticeable hole in my life with her gone and it is for many reasons, one of them is that it was the closing of an era. And not just any era but a godly one, that has left me knowing that it is my turn to step closer to the plate and hold the torch higher as I carry on her without her. This is what I consider True Heritage.

Not everyone is blessed to have a true, godly heritage to look back on, as I have shared, but thanks to God's goodness and grace we ALL have the opportunity to move forward and create one. What does a True Heritage look like? I believe it has many appearances but some very common threads - one is that we must be looking at our present as an opportunity to plant seeds for the future. I wish I could have known when my grandpa and grandma were busy raising their boys whether they paused much to look to the future, I know that prayer was a very important part of their lives and they would have prayed for the future of their sons, but I wonder how far ahead they tried to see. Did they really see that when their sons would have been entering their sixties that their grandchildren would be having children and carrying on many of the rich heritages that they introduced? Did that know that almost daily their granddaughter would think back to the special times of baking or fishing or reading or knitting that was shared together? I have been blessed in so many ways and I am so grateful for the heritage given to me. Not only do I want to pass it on to my children, but I want others to know that through God's strength all of us can pass a godly, true heritage on to our children.

How far ahead do we try to see? Are we so overwhelmed with the two year old that is struggling in defiance to remember that they will be a parent with kids of their own in the not too distant future? Do we stop to think that the way we are speaking to our kids today is the way that they will naturally lean towards with their own? It may seem far away on a challenging day, but I am beginning to realize how soon it will come for me. I want with all my heart to be laying the foundations that will leave a True Heritage for my children.

God gave us a great direction in establishing a True Heritage and I believe it is laid out well in Deuteronomy 6:4-9 "The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up."

That is a big task but achievable because it should be the focus of our days with our children. Yes, there is laundry to do, groceries to buy, bills to pay and much work to be done but my hope is that those things are done alongside our children as we share life in laying these very important foundations.

A true heritage is a gift to be passed along and it is something that God honours and blesses. It is also something that He gives strength and wisdom to establish as we seek Him for it. May you be blessed as you continue in laying the foundations of a true heritage.

Am I Serving?

I have had this "Am I Serving?" question running through my head all week...As a mom, maybe more than most roles in life, I have the CHOICE to serve almost every moment of every day. If you are at a similar stage of life as I find myself in, you know that it takes hard work to carve out 10 minutes of personal space or time. Do you ever resent that? I don't want to and I sure try not to, but sometimes I find myself in that place nevertheless. BUT, God has been speaking deep in my heart and I want to respond to what I sense I am hearing.

My first thought is this: Jesus, our ultimate example, said that He came not to be served but to serve. In Philippians 2:7 it says of Jesus that He "made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant." Remember that is God in the flesh, bending low - how much more should I be willing to bend in serving my family and those around me?

My next thought builds on that: One significant challenge that Jesus gave while He was still on this earth is found in Mark 8:34, "If anyone would come after me, he must DENY HIMSELF and take up his cross and follow me." The part that has stood out to me is the first part of denying myself - so often the focus of that verse when I have heard it referred to, ends up on the importance of picking up our crosses (which is still important). My heart is being drawn to going deeper in denying myself, which in my mind translates into the role of serving at a deeper level.

I had the pleasure of enjoying a special weekend as a family recently and I found myself surprised at feeling drawn to selfishness. I recognized it was coming because of one of my older children needing something from me that I felt they were "capable of". That may have been true that they were capable, but I believe God used it to show me that my heart was being drawn into selfishness instead of servant hood with this child. I corrected my ways and was rewarded with a very special time with this particular treasure of mine.

It is so easy to serve our children when they are babies and we know they can do nothing for themselves, plus they smell so good and snuggle so quiet that there is not other experience to compare it with. I am finding myself in a new stage where my older ones can do a lot more for themselves and they don't always smell so good :-) BUT I still want to walk in the joy of serving my family as joyfully as ever.

I feel that as wives and moms, our greatest calling is not to be served but to serve and to be willing to deny ourselves - how many arguments would we avoid with our spouse if our minds were set to serve? How many smiles would we receive from our children as we serve them? Yes, we need moments of a quiet cup of tea or a warm bath, but there are lots of times when those moments cannot be found - those are the ones that we need to ask God for His strength and that is also when we TRULY will find our greatest joy because we will TRULY be serving!

1 Peter 4:11 "If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. to him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen."

Easter Confusion

I was enjoying a chat about Easter yesterday with my five year old and three year old, trying to get an idea of how much they have taken in and understood about why we celebrate Easter. For the most part, our five year old had a great understanding, but our three year old is only catching the small bits - totally fine, but good to know what they still need to know. Our older three children have a very good grasp of what Easter really means and yet I hope that every year it means something more and something deeper for each of them. So I ask myself, what am I doing to see that goal realized?

For one thing, we don't do "Easter presents" and try to avoid a lot of the commercialism at the stores, we don't visit the "Easter bunny" or even imply that such a thing exists. We place our focus on the Friday of remembering why Good Friday was so good and then really celebrate the Sunday for Jesus being alive and conquering sin once and for all. Our almost eight year old is passionate about Narnia - the picture of Aslan coming back and the stone table broken in two is a great image to reflect on with our older ones. Anything that lines up with the Bible but helps them grasp what it means for them, personally is something to share in. I confess, we do hide some small chocolate eggs on the Saturday but only for the sake of an annual tradition to enjoy some treats, definitely not the focus.

Then today, I was lingering over tea and a visit with a special friend, who shared something that has gotten me thinking...This past week a woman in her small group was able to share the true meaning of Easter with someone that really thought it was only about bunnies and chocolate. She had never heard of Easter being about anything more than that - the woman boldly took the opportunity to share what Easter really was about and what it meant to her. Awesome! We all need to be reminded that it is not just that people don't care...many people don't even know that Jesus' death and Resurrection is the meaning of Easter! I certainly want to be open to opportunities that God brings for me to share, and just as importantly, I want to be absolutely sure that our children have the full picture of Easter - without the bunnies and chocolate.

I Corinthians 1:18 "For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved, it is the power of God."

Hebrews 12:2 "Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross."