It will never cease to amaze me how a tidy home can turn upside down within minutes or hours of time. It may be returning from an overnight adventure or just coming home from church, but with seven or more in our home at any given time, it happens fast. Yes, we are training our children to be tidy and No, they have not yet arrived. Regardless of tidy or not, sometimes life just requires that there is mess and disorder.
A while ago, I shared about Clean Stables (
http://www.myheartathome.com/2010/06/letting-go-of-clean-stable.html) and how if we are going to reap a harvest of abundance we need to accept some mess. I don't want to reiterate that here, but I do want to build on some of those thoughts. There are so many times that I find myself sliding down a slippery slope of "if only"...If only I could get the living room cleaned up I would be able to relax...If only I could get my preschoolers to sleep I will have some time to regroup...If only I... You get the idea - when I am not careful, and especially when I am tired, the "if only's" can take over my thinking. I don't want to live this life for the few moments of peace and quiet I might be able to find - I want to live for all of it, mess and all!
I don't believe God meant for us to live our days as moms (or in any other role, for that matter) looking to the "if only's". He has blessed us, equipped us and placed us in the here and now for a purpose and a reason. If we spend our time looking to other things, we will greatly miss what He is trying to do in our midst and the good things we have already been blessed with. Remember, it is not by our strength - II Peter 1:3 says, "HIS divine power has given us EVERYTHING we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and goodness."
The other day I was looking mournfully into our very small closet in our mudroom, wishing when we had built the house we had understood how many pairs of shoes would have to fit in there someday. As I sorted through them (again), I caught myself thinking, "Well, when my 11 year old out grows these, I will save them for my 8 year old, but when the 6 year old grows these ones out, the 4 year old won't wear them so I can get rid of them. As for the sandals, I could probably..." And on and on it went as I tried to bring order to running shoes, dress shoes, sandals, etc for seven people. I stopped myself midway and thought how pathetic is this? I am wishing the life I love away, because of clutter that will not go away. I don't want to do that.
Later on, as I shared this with a sweet friend, she told me I reminded her of a country song she liked, called "You're Gonna Miss This". Since I hadn't heard of that one, I searched the title and was so touched by the lyrics... The chorus says:
You're gonna miss this, you're gonna want this back,
You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast,
These are some good times, so take a good look around,
You may not know it now, but you're gonna miss this.
Everything within me resonated "YES - this is so true!" I found the rest of my evening and the day following, mentally occupied reviewing so many of the joys I have seen come and go already, especially from the baby and toddler years, that I will never get back. What great perspective came again, not for the first time, but refreshed again at a deeper level. When Moses told us in Psalm 90 to, "Number our days that we may gain a heart of wisdom", I believe this is one of the deposits of that wisdom.
We can't wish the trials of life away, we can't want days to pass quickly because we are tired or kids are sick - yes, they are hard and yes, we feel stretched, but God has promised it will NEVER be beyond what He knows we can handle. He happens to think a lot of you and me because there are many, many times I have been sure I was beyond what I felt capable of. But I wasn't - I have more than survived thus far, and with memories that make me want to more LOVE THE CLUTTER that I can't change. This is life - life at its fullest, richest and best! Thank you God for the blessings all around me - even if they happen to be buried beneath clutter.
