Showing posts with label arguing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label arguing. Show all posts

Sunday, September 11, 2011

A Furious Squall


     Dollhouses were spread across the living room rug like a sprawling town -- dinky cars were arranged in rows and ready to race at high speeds.  Voices chattered happily while sharing plans of what should happen next in their game, when suddenly an argument erupted in the midst of their pretend town.

     "Give it back!  It's mine."

     "No, it's not, it's mine."

     "I only let you borrow it!"

     My heart fell in sadness.  It's so hard to listen to the ones you love tear each other apart.  And I don't enjoy the energy it requires to rectify the situation either. 

     A verse flashed back from my morning's time in the Word . . . in Mark 4 where we hear the story of Jesus in the boat with His disciples.  Verse 37 sounded like our house, "A furious squall came up."  That's us, I thought, that describes these moments with my children.  But even better, it reminded me of the solution too.

     Only two verses later, we find Jesus standing up, saying, "Quiet! Be still!"  And we're told it became completely calm!

     How do we get that power flowing in our homes and with our children?  To go from furious squalls to complete calm?

     We learn to invite Jesus into the midst of our storms.

     I'll be honest ~  I'm sharing more from failure than success here, but over and over, when He's been invited, I've seen Jesus move in the midst of our stormy seas at home. 

     I need that picture in my mind: Jesus speaking to our tossed boat (house) and watching those waves (arguments) become as calm and quiet as a still night.  Jesus can be that real in our moments of tension and frustration but He MUST BE INVITED!  Come Lord Jesus, into our homes and calm squalls of life.

"Now may the Lord of Peace
Himself give you peace at
ALL times and in EVERY way."
II Thessalonians 3:16




Friday, July 22, 2011

The Value of Bickering



     The value of bickering?  What?!  How could there be ANY value when children bicker and siblings seem to fight near to death?

     I can't imagine ever reaching the point of being truly thankful for the arguments that are waged in our home, but I have come to appreciate the value behind it all.  Ecclesiastes 4 says, "Two are better than one," and we all know that if we only had one child there wouldn't be any bickering -- so how could Solomon, the wisest man that ever lived, say two are better?

     Take heart, dear mom,  there are godly, mature adults being formed in those little bodies we call our children. 

     If it weren't for the challenges our children face in their relationships now, while we're present to guide them, then awful times would lie ahead in their futures.  Just as it's monumentally easier to learn a second language when you're a child compared to the frustration of learning one as an adult, so it's true with the lessons of life found in the home at a young age. 

     The lessons our children learn now as we train them how to communicate their feelings, control their natural reactions and offer or seek forgiveness are invaluable to their future. 

     Could we go as far as saying these lessons are even more valuable than any academics they may pursue?

     What's really happening as our little ones attempt to swing their arms and raise their voices to decibels that threaten to shake the rafters?  With our help and intervention, they're making each other stronger individuals. 

     In Proverbs 27, we're told that ,"As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another."  And what happens when iron hits iron?  Sparks fly!  It's not always pleasant or pretty as we would choose or prefer, but can you see it's necessary?

     So should we lower our standards and let those fists fly freely in the living room boxing ring? 

     No, I believe as godly parents we are called on to train each of our children in the way they SHOULD go, not the way they naturally go.  That means strenuous work on our part, with long hours and little reward in the early years.

     One day, if we don't give up, we'll look around and notice . . .
    
     ~ a little more peace in the air,

     ~ an apology offered without prompting,

     ~ or even a gentle smile where there could have been offense,

     and we'll raise our hands in victory because God will have rewarded the labour of our hearts and hands.

     Never give up, moms!  Children's voices can hurt our hearts and the bickering shake our heads, but as long as they have breath, there is hope. 

     The enemy's tactic is to whisper that our children are different than the ones down the street, or that they will never change, BUT that is not God's final word.  We have God's final word that the reward waits for those who persevere in these challenging times.

"Let us not grow tired
of doing what is good.
At just the right time
we WILL reap a
harvest of blessing IF
we don't give up."
Galatians 6:9