The Cost of Shaping Character

     My daughter's sapphire eyes rolled upwards slightly and her mouth seemed to match the mood, as it turned down in disgust.  Parenting is not for cowards, I remind myself of the infamous phrase, this is part of the journey of successfully taking my children from their early years to adulthood. 

     I know this in my head, but it does not alter the feelings in my heart -- how is it that, in order to do what is right for my children, it has to hurt this much?

     I ask my daughter to take some time in her room to think through her attitude, and I go to mine for a quiet moment with God.  We both need to BREATHE separately before we share the same air in a room again.  I used to wish that there was a "skip button" to bypass these trials of attitude and conflict with my children, but now I have learned the truth . . . these struggles are compulsory for each of my children to grow into strong, loving, adults. 

     There are no short cuts on the path of shaping character.

     I reflect on how many lessons it has taken to bring my daughter this far, and I purposefully choose not to look ahead, or try to imagine, how many more lessons remain.  I appreciate God's wisdom that I need only take one day at a time.  This is what keeps the task of raising children at a manageable level . . . most days.

     I am reminded of the words that Dwight L. Moody spoke on character, when he said, "Character is what you are in the dark". 

     The veracity of this statement impacts me, as I think on my own life -- some of the hardest decisions have come when I have been alone, without other eyes upon me.  And these are the times that I want to prepare my children to be ready to face. 

     A little while later, my daughter and I reunite with bright faces and restored hearts.  She even thanks me for helping her learn how to behave better . . . not expected, but greatly valued.  These are the moments and days God has given to me, with His help, to shape my living treasures as best as I can -- I don't want to waste a day!
    

     "Perseverance (produces) character;

and character, hope. 

And hope does not disappoint us."

Romans 5:4&5

Diamonds In the Snow



I travel back in time and remember.  My eyes are drawn to the sparkle on my finger and the thrill that had rushed through my being.  My own diamond . . . a ring from the one I loved, that spoke of a lifetime of promise.  The exquisite elegance of a gem prized above almost all others in existence.  Memories of dreams gone by flash through my mind and I recall the hopes of a young girl.  They had only begun to come true.

I rush back to the present, almost two decades later, and again I contemplate that same diamond on my hand . . . this time the coruscation of the stone divulges volumes more.  Gone is the idealism.  It has been replaced with the verity of time.  Reflections of years of plenty and the years of little.  Whispers of joys and trials -- commitments kept and disappointments experienced.  Babies, toddlers, a teenager. 

Nothing prior to a diamond can prepare for how much LIFE follows after.  That is the wonder and the struggle.  And there is still much unwritten.

Seasons of the diamond. 

I reflect on these things as I step outside into the brilliance of snow -- it seems to be alive all around me.  I squint quickly; the intensity of the sun is overwhelming.  The icy wind slaps my face.  I inhale and the frigid air burns my lungs, but I continue on, desperate to capture a moment with these diamonds of snow.  And I wonder to myself, How did it take this Northern girl part a lifetime to realize the reason for diamonds in the snow? 

I have finally become aware that their breath-taking elegance is only there to be enjoyed when the conditions have been extreme.  There are no diamonds to be relished in the snow after a cool or even mildly cold night -- the diamonds only appear in their wonder, when the temperatures have dropped harshly. 

The sacrifice that diamonds in the snow have to render, to earn their gleam, speaks to my heart.  It calls out in a soft, low voice and tells me similar value has come to the diamond on my hand.  God's words ripple through my thoughts, "Some of the wise will stumble, so that they may be refined, purified and made spotless." (Daniel 11:35)   

True to God's nature; nothing is wasted.  He has used the trials to increase the radiance. 

I gaze once more at the diamonds in the snow before I escape from the cold and I know I have been given a glimpse of God's purposes for pain.  It is in this place of the embrace of the valleys, not in the retreat from them; that I have discovered the resplendence of my own diamond, still resting on my hand.

"We, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into His likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord."

II Corinthians 3:18