Why So Downcast?

The day seemed heavy, the tasks too large, the sky dark, the bickering loud, the to do list never ending, the stairs long, and my heart low.  What was wrong?  I really don't know.  Have you ever had days like that when you just can't put your finger on the real problem?  The best way I could have described myself was, as David said in the Bible, downcast.

So what did I do?  Nothing but keep whispering David's verse from Psalm 42:5, "Why are you downcast, O my soul?  Why so disturbed within me?  Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Saviour and my God."  I struggled through the entire day and probably quoted that verse 20+ times, till I finally fell into bed near midnight, glad to go to sleep and whisper a quiet prayer for the next day. 

The better question is -  what should I have done?  Hindsight, they say, is 20 / 20 ~ I wish I had taken the time to put in a worship CD and sing my heart out, because I know from many times before when we put on a "garment of praise" it deals with a "spirit of heaviness".  Or I could have called my husband and asked him to pray with me - but those thoughts eluded me.  I feel like I merely survived the day, and yet...

I believe God allows us to go through times like those in order to lean heavy on Him and know He is there.  The Word says in II Corinthians 7:6, that, "God...comforts the downcast."  That is how I felt.  At the end of the day; bone tired and emotionally weary, I was very aware of God's comfort and thankful for it.  The verse from Psalms kept truth and perspective before me, even though the day was hard.

We live in a time when we all want to be "fixed" right away, but that is not reality.  Sometimes reality is doing our best and staying close to God in those times...giving up on perfect and just being real in His strength, while reciting His wonderful Word until it reaches the deepest parts of ourselves.  After the rain, the sun seems to shine even brighter than before!

Dark Bundles

I have noticed, as I walk this path of life, that when things are going well, I feel light and free; but when the times of challenge come, a heaviness can settle over me and the darkness can feel so close.  I have learned that mountains (light) and valleys (dark) are not an unusual part of life; both are necessary for healthy growth.  But what is not healthy, is when we are in the dark trying to find our own way out; instead of allowing God to help us, and if need be, carry us.

I recently came across a beautiful retelling of a dream that radically changed one woman's view of her life - it lifted her out of the darkness and placed her into the light.  This happened because she realized the heavy burdens, or as the dream says - dark bundles, were not what God ever intended for her to carry.  Let me share it here, in its original form - taken from Streams in the Desert, written in 1925...

An eminent Christian worker tells of his mother who was a very anxious and troubled Christian. He would talk with her by the hour trying to convince her of the sinfulness of fretting, but to no avail.  But one morning the mother came down to breakfast wreathed in smiles. He asked her what had happened, and she told him that in the night she had a dream.
She was walking along a highway with a great crowd of people who seemed so tired and burdened. They were nearly all carrying little black bundles, and she noticed that there were numerous repulsive looking beings which she thought were demons dropping these black bundles for the people to pick up and carry. Like the rest, she too had her needless load, and was weighed down with the devil’s bundles. Looking up, after a while, she saw a Man with a bright and loving face, passing hither and thither through the crowd, and comforting the people.
At last He came near her, and she saw that it was her Saviour. She looked up and told Him how tired she was, and He smiled sadly and said: “My dear child, I did not give you these loads; you have no need of them. They are the devil’s burdens and they are wearing out your life. Just drop them; refuse to touch them with one of your fingers and you will find the path easy and you will be as if borne on eagle’s wings.”
He touched her hand, and look, peace and joy thrilled her frame and, flinging down her burden, she was about to throw herself at His feet in joyful thanksgiving, when suddenly she awoke and found that all her cares were gone. From that day to the close of her life she was the most cheerful and happy member of the household.

What a witness to the reality of where many of our burdens, or dark bundles, come from - but a far more important reality is portrayed by showing us where our lightness and freedom can and should be coming from in our lives.  The enemy wants us to be so burdened down with "life" that we fail to see what God has made available to us - the freedom to truly soar, as on eagle's wings. 

If we would see that we do not need to take up those bundles, but instead cast our cares on our God who cares for us, we could rise above the places where the darkness tries to overcome us and be set free!

Psalm 81:6 "I removed the burden from their shoulders;

 their hands were set free."