WHY DO I NEED TO BE RIGHT?

     Close your eyes and see if you can you hear a recent conversation in your head . . . Someone you love, probably your husband, is telling a story in a group of friends and you observe that he made a small mistake on a detail -- well, of course, you do what any "good" wife would do -- you jump in and "fix" it for him. 

     Ohhhh!  The second I do that, I find myself mentally stomping my foot and physically biting down on my tongue.  Why did I do that again?, I fume at myself.  Why do I think I need to be right??!!

     A vicious cycle continues on . . . more "husband" stories, more "wifely" corrections . . . I keep learning the same lesson over again but it doesn't seem to stick in my head.  (And I'm the same mom who feels frustrated when my kids have to be told something more than ONCE?)

     I know my husband needs my honour far more than he needs my corrections.

     In fact, if I could replay all those conversations, I'm sure I would experience heat flooding my face and tears slipping down my reddened cheeks for the embarrassment of how TRULY TRIVIAL all my self-important corrections were in hind-sight.  I've heard that hind-sight is 20/20 and I'm sure my source of wisdom is correct.

     I love my husband too much to keep on correcting -- "God, you've got to help me humble myself so I can keep my lips still in these moments of life."  I'm capable of so much harm and so much good ~ all wrapped up in the package of one wife.

     Do you know what's worse?  Now my oldest children are getting to the age where I have more of the same opportunities with them.  Oh, they just don't realize they're a little off on the detail, I'll just interject a bit of my "wisdom". 

     Oh, Kristen, don't you realize you don't offer anything but shame and embarrassment?

     I desire to honour these precious people that God has placed in my life, but it requires self-control with my words.  Who really cares if I'm right or not?  Honestly?  Only me.  I need to decrease so that Christ may increase in my life.

"Don't be selfish; don't try

to impress others.  Be humble,

thinking of others as better

than yourselves."

Philippians 2:3



Helping Our Husbands

Last month, at our Mom's Night, we were discussing the call to godliness, that God gives to each one of us.  We looked at various scriptures that speak about godliness, but the one that stood out to me the most was from Proverbs 31.  I was struck by one verse in particular, which although I had read many times before, had never sunk in for its full meaning.  It is in verse 23, and at initial glance it seems out of place from the other verses, but once studied it is powerful ~ here it is, "Her husband is greatly respected when he deliberates with the city fathers."   This verse is nestled between verses that talk about the woman who is well prepared and the woman who makes her own dresses.  What does that have to do with her husband being respected?  HE is respected because of who SHE is!

This is where the impact came for me - I have always viewed my role in being my husband's "helper" as something behind the scenes, and I have loved that role.  Whether it is supporting him emotionally (listening and encouraging), physically (love and practical care with food / clothing / etc), or spiritually (praying for him and with him); it has brought me great joy.  But I had not carefully examined before how these practical supports affect him outside the home.  As I have pondered this verse over the past month, I have become increasingly aware of how vital it is that we, as wives, catch the significance.  What we do at behind the scenes at home and with our families - no matter how trivial or unnoticed (by all but God) - will affect the way that our husbands are regarded. 

I am not talking about making our husbands "look good", but specifically wanting us to realize that often we can make the difference as to whether our husbands are looked up to or looked down on.  When Paul gave the requirements for elders in the church, he included the importance of how that man's family was functioning.  We need to respect that the choices we make in the ways we talk to our husbands; the ways we care for them, our homes and our families, really do make a difference.  If we want to truly be more of what, I believe, God desires us as wives to be, then we need to be looking to the best interest of our husbands first, and not ourselves.

Yes, it will fly in the face of the culture we are part of - but good for us - it will just make us shine more brightly than it would have in the past generations.  So, GO SHINE!