IMAGINE

     We hang their pictures on our walls.  We tuck them into bed each night.  We care for them when their sick and laugh with them when they're well.  God has designed us to care about our children with all the passion He's placed within us.  And yet, do we ever stop and IMAGINE?  Imagine what it feels like to be them?

     I'd wriggled under one of my daughter's cozy pink blankets a little while ago, waiting for her to get ready for bed, and a question jumped into my mind and slapped me in the face . . . What does it feel like to be my daughter? 

     Then, other questions followed -- What does it feel like to be my son?  How did it feel to live in our house today?   Did they feel truly cared for as I rushed around with busyness?  Heat rose in my cheeks as I sadly reflected on a few ways I'd hurried through the day instead of savouring those closest to me.

     That moment deeply affected my outlook.  I began to watch for other opportunities with my other children . . . how does it feel to be YOU right now?  I didn't ask it out loud, but began to imagine what I would feel like if I were in their shoes at various moments in the day.

     You already know what comes next, don't you?  It's not always pretty.  God seems to surface the question to my heart over and over, as if to say, "Would you want to be treated this way?  Would you feel treasured if someone you loved brush past that fast?  Would you want to be spoken to with that tone?"


     I'm not advocating perfect parenting, because that isn't achievable by anyone except our Heavenly Father, but I am promoting PAUSE -- IMAGINE -- RESPOND.


     Just stopping for a few breaths in the day, to examine how our children must feel in the moment, to be part of our homes where God has chosen them to be.  Remember . . . they didn't choose us; they were placed in our arms by God's provident design!

     As we rush about this month (and every other one ahead), let's pause to imagine how it feels for them today. 

     Respond with all the love, or grace, or energy God would want us to.  None of us want to experience the irony of losing out on the quality of daily, precious moments with our children because we are so busy preparing for future days to be special!  Ask God to bring the balance -- and the tenderness to our hearts -- for these sweet, and sometimes not so sweet, ones we love most of all.

"Imagine a person who lives

well, treating others fairly,

keeping good relationships...

This person who lives upright

and well shall live a full and true life."

Ezekiel 18:5&9

Adoring Eyes



     The baby-blue eyes glanced my way, waiting for a nod of approval.  I lifted two thumbs high in the air and threw him back a smile.  Then watched as his grin started on his lips and moved all the way up to his eyes.  His head cocked and I savoured what I have come to recognize as adoring eyes.

     My heart soared for a moment and then a shadow fell.  These may be the last of the adoring eyes I savour in my lifetime, I thought.  The realization came heavy and unwelcoming.  Parenting brings such extreme joy and such great challenge combined, but one of my favourite rewards has definitely been the opportunity to be loved so unreservedly.

     The short years we are given to be the heroine in a little one's eyes is an incredible gift -- and all too soon the sun sets on that stage of motherhood.

     Have I treasured it enough?

     Have I earned their respect?

     Have I used these days to establish the foundations required for the rest of the journey?

     I'll never cease being amazed that God entrusts little ones to us, even for a season, never.  The gift of a little heart that trusts you, little eyes that look at you so longingly with a smile that shines as big as a rainbow, will be embedded in my mind for my lifetime.

     But when the days get hard, we forget that the sun will ever set.  When the moments don't hold adoring eyes, we lose sight of the treasures we are standing beside.  This shouldn't be!

     One of my favourite classic films is Fiddler on the Roof, and as much as I square my shoulders and determine I will not cry at the wedding of their daughter, I always do.  The song shared by the mother and father moves my heart at the deepest levels, as they sing...

     Sunrise, sunset

     Sunrise, sunset

     Swiftly fly the years

     One season following another

     Laden with happiness and tears

     May we desire that, no matter the stage of mothering we find ourselves in, whether happiness or tears, that as the sun sets on one season and rises on another, we won't ever forget the richness of what God has entrusted to us!  He is the giver of good gifts and we are blessed to have beheld -- even for a moment -- those adoring eyes.

"Children are a gift 

from the Lord;

they are a reward from Him."

Psalm 127:3

Dresses & Muscles

     Girls twirl and dresses flow . . . Boys flex and muscles bulge -- is this not the way it's always been?  I hear the words come out of my mouth before I even taste them, "You look so pretty!" And she does.  Or, "You are so strong!"  And he is.   The compliments flow so naturally from my mouth to their ears, but something flickers inside my head and I stop and wonder, Do they know something else is far more important?


     It's so easy to build up the outside and neglect the inside of our children.  

      In fact, flattering words appear almost effortlessly . . . because we genuinely DO believe our girls are beautiful and our boys are strong, and that's good!  Our children need to know we appreciate the wonderful ways God has created them, but I am reminded of God's words to Samuel many years ago when He said, "Man looks at the outward appearance but God looks at the heart."

     Part of our job, as parents, includes ensuring our emphasis goes WAY BEYOND the dresses and muscles . . . to be sure we're building up their hearts.  

    Our children will believe their importance is found wherever we, their parents, show approval.  We need to be reminded that it's what Christ does on the inside of our children that holds the value, then we'll be watching for opportunities to build that up in them.

     Simple ways and words make this possible -- affirm kind acts, sweet attitudes, happy hearts, thoughtful deeds and unselfish choices.  All these things (and many more) come from the heart and that is where the true beauty and strength must be cultivated in our precious children's lives.

"What matters is not your outer

appearance...but your inner

disposition."
I Peter 3:3&4

     

Time to be a Child

     "Your daughter has the perfect build for ballet."

     "Your son is so tall - he could be very good at basketball."

     "Your daughter is a natural artist, she would flourish with some are lessons."

     AHHHHHHH!  If I committed my children to even half of the sports and classes that well-meaning friends and relatives suggested we'd have cobwebs hanging from our ceilings.  Opportunities abound for our children.  AND I have yet to see true benefits of busyness.

     My heart breaks when endless lists are rattled off by loving, well-intentioned parents, of all the activities crammed into a given day.  Do they realize what is stolen from their lives and the lives of their children, when they try to meet the world's standard of extra-curricular activities?

     What happened to hours of creative play with a dress-up box?  Or the tree house turned into a pirate ship?  Or the bin of building blocks that becomes a castle surrounded by knights? 

     I don't want anyone to feel guilty for the activities your children are in -- ours have a few too -- but we choose them ever so carefully, and fiercely guard family time and free time.  My hope is simply to challenge the status quo.  To remind people that there is a choice.  You will not ruin your child if they are not exposed to every activity listed in the local recreation guide.

     YOU HAVE PERMISSION TO SAY NO!

"I have no peace, no quietness;

I have no rest, but only turmoil."

Job 3:26

     Choosing to say no means:  saying no to scouts but yes to family dinners, saying no to hockey but yes to church, or even saying no to ballet but yes to family walks in a park.  Don't feel judged - NO - you have to choose what works best for your family . . . I just want to challenge you to ask yourself whether you are even choosing or just saying YES to everything?

     I choose to rest in the knowledge that the future path God has chosen for each my children will come about IN SPITE OF the activities I expose my children to, not BECAUSE OF them.  God is so much bigger than my feeble attempts to "grow" my children.  By His grace I trust they will choose the path He has for them. 

     I choose to resist the social pressure around me that says I need to be busy, busy all the time.

     I choose to give my children time to be children. 

     I will allow God to surface the way that they should go.

     I desperately want my children to look back on their childhood, not with memories of mommy stressfully racing from one thing to the next; but of hours spent in books, laughter, fun and play.

     I create leisure time to read and discuss God's Word, not just quickly rushed through so we can charge into the next thing on our list. 

     Activities have their place, but they are only of earthly value -- things of eternal value must be my number one priority when we choose where to invest time and energy.  God will fan into flame what He intends for our children to do.

"You will keep in perfect

peace him whose mind

is steadfast."  Isaiah 26:3