A DEADLY LIE

     So many lies are being served up to us daily on a silver platter -- they look tantalizing, they sound convincing and seem so real!

  We lift the lid and indulge; then wonder later why we're battling unwelcome thoughts in our hearts and minds.

     Certain lies appear innocent enough in the moment, but once they slip in the back door, it's hard to control where they roam.

     If we were sitting on my couch, sipping tea this afternoon, and I asked you what you felt was one of the most deadly lies, what would you say?

     I know what I would say...I would look you in the eyes and tell you, "One of the most deadly lies is the lie that your situation at hand doesn't have any hope!"

     In our heads, it's so easy to say, Sure, I know there's hope.  But it's not just our heads that the enemy is targeting and sometimes it's harder to convince our hearts!

     Maybe the lies seems silly, like; "There's no hope...this baby is NEVER going to sleep through the night."  I say silly only because we all know in our heads that eventually this baby won't be a baby and of course, they will sleep through the night, but...it FEELS hopeless in the moment, doesn't it?

     What about a lie, like; "There's no hope...this toddler is NEVER going to master potty training."  Again, we know in our heads that eventually this toddler will be able to use the toilet because it's part of growing up, but...it can FEEL utterly impossible in that stage, can't it?

     Then there's the more serious lies, like; "There's no hope...my husband's the way he is and it will never change.  Marriage is NEVER going to get better."  Depending on the challenges you face, that can feel like a very real possibility, and we can be completely unsure of how things could change, and...it FEELS like nothing will ever improve, doesn't it?

     If you go back and scan the three examples above what two words do you see each time?
          1) NEVER
          2) FEELS

     Do you know why it's so important to recognize those two words?  Because they are the key that unlocks the door from our head to our heart for the deadly lie of hopelessness.  

     When we hear ourselves thinking "never" and evaluating our momentary circumstances based on how we "feel" that should be like a flashing, red warning light!  "Emergency, emergency; we are determining our future based on what we see and feel, not on what God says!!!"

     We can't see what's around the corner!  We don't know what God's about to do!  We have no idea how things can turn out IF we give them over to God!

     He's the One who gets to write the endings and His Word promises us that...

•  In ALL things God works for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28)
• God will be with us in trouble and deliver us (Psalm 91:15)
• God's plans are to prosper us and give us a hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11)

   
     Reflect on the areas that are causing you stress or concern -- babies, money, teenagers -- whatever it is, God is MORE than able to write the ending, but we have a part to play.  We have to give these areas over to the Lord and ask Him to be in charge.  Once we commit our ways to Him, He is freed up to work in very real, intimate ways in our lives, but He won't push His way in, He's waiting to be asked, trusted and invited.

     Don't buy the deadly lie that there is NO HOPE!  There's always hope when God is invited into the middle of our worlds!  Go to the Bible, dig for the truth that applies to your personal situation of hopeless feelings and smother it in God's truth.  Hold it tight and don't let go -- you have no idea what's just around the corner!

"You will KNOW the TRUTH

and the TRUTH WILL set you free!"

John 8:32

LIFE-GIVING WORDS

     Words that give life are often not easy to find, but they're out there; and for the sake of the deepest parts of our beings, they must be found.  They are the food for our souls that we desperately need!  Although we may deliver beautiful words of life to our families each day, we also need to receive them, don't we?

     But what if we're not receiving life-giving words back in the measure our hearts seem to call out for?

     Each day is different; one morning your preschooler may snuggle in and whisper, "Mommy, I love you so much I want to marry you," and we'll find the meter rise on our life-giving word tank.  But less than 12 hours may pass before our ears hear our older child stomp out of the room, saying, "Mom, you're just not fair - I wish I didn't live here," and we watch the same meter dangerously plummet near empty.

     How are we, as moms, supposed to stay fed on life-giving words when there isn't any way we can predict the next words that will flow from our husband's, friend's or children's mouths?

     First, we treasure each loving word that is shared and tuck them away safely in our hearts.

     Second, we ask God to help us calmly release each negative word that is thrown at us and quickly forgive the offender from our hearts.

     Third, we do our best to find safe places where life-giving words flow that we may have a source outside those who may be draining our tanks on a regular basis.

     Fourth - and most importantly - we go to THE SOURCE of all life, Jesus Christ.  Not just when we're low, but daily, regardless of where our meters are at.  Isaiah 55 calls out to us, when it says...
     "All who are thirsty, come to the water...buy without money-everything's free!
      Why do you spend your money on junk food...fill yourself with only the finest.
      Pay attention, come close now, listen carefully to my LIFE-GIVING, life-nourishing words.
      I'm making a lasting covenant commitment with you...
      You'll go out with joy, you'll be led into a whole and complete life."


     There's only one source where we can be guaranteed to find LIFE -- we must plunge ourselves into the words of God and let it speak to the places deep inside that hurt, ache and are withered.  Only our Creator can bring the lasting, LIFE-GIVING words that we need to hear, so that we may be found complete and whole, not lacking any good thing.

"Lions may grow weak and hungry,

but those who seek the Lord lack NO good thing."

Psalm 34:10

NOT PROVERBS 31 AGAIN!!!!

     Any mom who's been around the "church block" a few times has probably heard of the Proverbs 31 woman -- some look to her for inspiration, some look to her with confusion and many look to her with disdain.  

     "Another way I don't measure up!!!"

     "Another list of things to do, when I can't even finish the one I have now!!!"

     "Another reminder of all the ways I've failed as a woman!!!"

     To these thoughts, and the many more that may race through your head, I want to stand up on the tip of the tallest building with a giant, red megaphone in hand and yell . . . 

     "NOOOOOO, don't believe those lies!  God's voice doesn't sound like discouragement; that's the enemy of our souls trying to get us to give up completely on doing this motherhood thing!"

     God's voice sounds like 
          VISION, 
               HOPE and 
                    LIFE!   


     The purposes embedded within the words of Proverbs 31 are meant to show us the direction God wants us to go (VISION), to show us that with God's help things will get easier (HOPE) and to show us that when we follow God's ways there is blessing (LIFE).

     Think about the Ten Commandments -- who can read that list and confidently call out, "Check, check, check, yep, I've kept all those!"?  We need to look at the dreaded Proverbs chapter in the same way -- it may be God's ultimate goal for us but He doesn't hold lists over our heads -- that's not how He works.  That's how the enemy works to twist God's truths and make us feel ashamed of what we yet are not!

     We know from many of the references found in Proverbs 31, that this woman doesn't fall into the category of an exhausted, new mom drowning in wet diapers; nor is she a young mom of toddlers making another round of PB&J . . . she's a woman with years of practice, training and experience under her belt.  Over years of walking with the Lord, she has found the ways to gain rest in God's presence and wisdom from His Word -- she is at the other end of this crazy ride called mothering, looking back.

     IF we keep pressing into God, someday we'll be there too; and by His grace alone, our children will "rise up and call us blessed", but for now they may just call us MOM.

     So take a few minutes to pick up your Bible tonight -- somewhere between changing over another load of dirty laundry and that midnight feeding that's still to come -- and look at the words that flow from Proverbs 31, fresh again.  The book of Isaiah says the Lord gently leads those that have young!  That's us, moms.  No extreme expectations, no ridiculous check lists -- He leads us gently!

"There has never been the slightest

doubt in my mind that the God who

started this great work in you would

keep at it and bring it to a flourishing

finish on the very day Christ Jesus appears."

Philippians 1:6   MSG

     P.S.  If you think another mom needs to hear this, please click "share" and pass it along...I'm praying for you!

    
   

Dresses & Muscles

     Girls twirl and dresses flow . . . Boys flex and muscles bulge -- is this not the way it's always been?  I hear the words come out of my mouth before I even taste them, "You look so pretty!" And she does.  Or, "You are so strong!"  And he is.   The compliments flow so naturally from my mouth to their ears, but something flickers inside my head and I stop and wonder, Do they know something else is far more important?


     It's so easy to build up the outside and neglect the inside of our children.  

      In fact, flattering words appear almost effortlessly . . . because we genuinely DO believe our girls are beautiful and our boys are strong, and that's good!  Our children need to know we appreciate the wonderful ways God has created them, but I am reminded of God's words to Samuel many years ago when He said, "Man looks at the outward appearance but God looks at the heart."

     Part of our job, as parents, includes ensuring our emphasis goes WAY BEYOND the dresses and muscles . . . to be sure we're building up their hearts.  

    Our children will believe their importance is found wherever we, their parents, show approval.  We need to be reminded that it's what Christ does on the inside of our children that holds the value, then we'll be watching for opportunities to build that up in them.

     Simple ways and words make this possible -- affirm kind acts, sweet attitudes, happy hearts, thoughtful deeds and unselfish choices.  All these things (and many more) come from the heart and that is where the true beauty and strength must be cultivated in our precious children's lives.

"What matters is not your outer

appearance...but your inner

disposition."
I Peter 3:3&4

     

The Hope

     Do you ever get to the end of the day and feel like all you are accomplishing is just ruining your kids?  Do you ever feel like there must be someone -- ANYONE -- out there who could raise them better?  Do you ever feel like there isn't any hope?

     I have.  I have.  I have. 

     Some days I feel like a woodpecker that lives in our backyard . . . daily this confused creature hammers away at the lining of a trampoline pole.  You would think that it would realize there is nothing to show for it's efforts, but it just keeps doing the same thing over and over.  He works and works and yet sees no recompense.

     That is often how I feel at the end of a day -- like all of my efforts have yielded no reward.

     But we are not woodpeckers . . . we are moms!

     God knows that we are prone to face these doubts.  So every once in a while He allows a ray of bright, yellow sunshine to burst out from the dark, grey skies of parenthood -- and we see hope!

     Hope is the key to those sunny, blue sky moments -- that is what deflates the enemy's lies that we are ruining our children!

     These are the moments when God allows us a glimpse into the good seeds that are being fertilized and nurtured within our children.  Suddenly, ever so briefly, we realize, "Wow, maybe I am doing the right thing!  Maybe I am on the right path!" 

     Are you committed to, and do you love, your children?

     Are you asking for God to strengthen you for this task of parenting and give you the required wisdom?

     Are you remembering to seek your child's forgiveness when you do make mistakes?

     Then take heart, you are on the same journey . . . travelling the road that is more shaded than it is sunlit, more confusing than it is clear, BUT a journey we wouldn't want to trade for anything in the world!  Cling to God and the truth that burns strong in those moments of hope -- God is faithful!

"Let us hold unswervingly

to the HOPE we profess,

for He who promised

is faithful."

 Hebrews 10:23

Dark Whispers

     We look at those sticky, gooey faces of our children -- especially in the pictures after the mess has been cleaned up -- and we reflect on how much we love our kids.  In fact, if they are in bed asleep, we may even feel the extreme emotions that make our hearts feel like they will swell to the point of bursting. 

     Those are the moments we realize that no matter what it takes, we want the best for our children!

     There is only one problem . . . even though we want the best for our children and we know God wants the best for our children, there is someone out there who doesn't . . . the enemy.  The one who, the Bible says, "Prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour." (I Peter 5:8)  We are also told in God's Word that the enemy came to steal, kill and destroy -- BUT this should not cause us to feel afraid -- not for a minute.  God gave us this information so we would be alert and prepared to deal with the battle that exists around our lives, our homes and our children's lives.

     Have you noticed there are times when it seems you can watch the enemy at work in our children's lives?

     Our children can be skipping through the bright, green grass, swinging their outstretched arms and within moments their demeanor seems to change.  It may be a frown replaces their big grin, or a nasty comment slides out of their mouth, or even a cheerful conversation turns suddenly sour -- the enemy tries to steal those sweet times with his dark whispers.

     We've heard one of our children say, "I'm so stupid," and all he was doing was dangling his legs in the air, while seated on a tree branch.  Having NEVER heard those words before, we inquired why he would say such a thing.  His answer was simple -- "I was just sitting there and the thought came into my head."  That is a pretty innocent example, and I realize it is very subjective, but when you see things like that play out in various situations in the way our children's thoughts are affected and their thinking is obscured, it should make us sit up a little more vigilant.

     God, who loves us 100%, would not have gone to the effort of warning us over and over to be on guard against the enemy and his schemes if they were not a serious threat to ourselves and our children.  Yet that should not cause fear, it has to be seen as a problem with a solution.  So, what is the solution?

     Be alert - watch for where our kids are susceptible to the "dark whispers" of the enemy and strengthen their walls and fill in their cracks with our battle prayers, our encouraging words and our passionate love.  If there is a reoccurring lie that you see them battling, fight it with all you've got!

     Watch for the times the climate seems to shift at home and ask God to show us how to pray for our kids and process with our kids. 

     I remember one time we were driving to the library and I was at complete odds with one of our children but it didn't even make sense why -- it felt like their heart was a million miles away from me.  So I started to silently pray . . .
     God, I don't know what is going on in this child's heart, but you do.
     I know the enemy wants to tear apart our relationship but Your Word says that we are to be at peace with one another.
     I put on the full armour of God and take my stand against the devil's schemes.
     Lord Jesus, come into this place and change this situation.

     Do you know that afternoon trip to the library turned around 180 degrees? 

     It wasn't anything eloquent I said to my child or something fantastic I did, but God showed up in our day and destroyed the "dark whispers" with His might.  God's power blew away the cobwebs of confusion and darkness and brought His light.

     Don't let your children suffer with whispers that bring darkness -- not when God has given us all that we need to stand on their behalf and help them fight for truth and light.  Never give up -- we may be the only ones who are aware of the battle they are facing in their minds and if we don't fight on their behalf, who will?

"His divine power has given

us EVERYTHING we need

for life and godliness through

our knowledge of Him."

II Peter 1:3



Drinking Bleach???

     Imagine walking around the corner and catching sight of your two year old on top of the kitchen counter poised with a glass of liquid in their hand.  Beside them sits the blue and white bleach bottle with some of its contents splashed on the counter...

     Would you:  a) Stop and watch for a while to see if your child is really about to drink it?
                          b) Gently tell her she probably shouldn't try it because she might not like the taste?
                      or c) Yell "NO" and get to that child as fast as you could to grab it out of their hand?

     It's safe to assume that every parent reading this would choose option "c" without any reflection required.  Why is that?  Because we know the danger of chemicals AND we love our child and therefore do not want to see them harmed.  May I propose that there are many instances of "bleach" in the hands of children that are being evaluated by well-meaning, loving parents who are utilizing options "a" and "b"?

     "Well, I would never let my child drink bleach so I have no idea what you are talking about," you may respond.  Yes, I know you wouldn't, but did you know that our children are being faced with dangers as grave as glasses of bleach and we're trying to watch and see the outcomes in their lives without intruding, or by gently suggesting that maybe they shouldn't do those things?

     As parents we're well-versed on many rules of safety; in fact, more than any other generation before, I am sure we have more safety standards spinning in our heads than could have been imagined fifty years ago.  Daily there are recalls published for children's items that need to be improved on for safety -- highchairs, booster seats, cribs, tricycles, and on it goes.  But sadly in this generation, many have repudiated the value of shaping our children's moral characters -- thoughtfulness of others, respect to elderly, obedience to parents.  How did these get so confused?

     I believe most parents passionately love their children and long for what's best for them, but these parents have lost the compass that tells them where true North really is when it comes to training their children. 

     There is only one compass that points true and that is God's Word.

     You will not find true North in the myriad of parenting magazines, parenting television shows or parenting blogs.  Although these are the resources we surround ourselves with, they will either point us drastically in the opposite direction of true North or at best, a few degrees off, which still lands us in the wrong place.  And we wonder why our kids end up drinking "bleach" while we look on with horror?

     There is a lot of "bleach" in this world -- some of it could be every time we allow our children to think obedience is only necessary if they "feel" like it, OR every time we tolerate mouthiness and justify it as they are "tired" today, OR every time we allow them to watch shows, visit websites or play games that we KNOW don't measure God's standards of looking at whatever is pure and lovely and good.

     In most cases the easier road in parenting is to watch our children drink the "bleach" and tell ourselves it won't hurt them because we don't always see the negative effects right away, rather than rush to their side and immediately deal with the danger.

     God's design for parenting, although explained beautifully in many Christian books, is best found in the original unedited version called The Bible.  Anything else apart from that mixes in man's opinion.  Ask the Holy Spirit to speak to your heart and reveal the areas that your children may be drinking from the "bleach" bottle of the world's ways. 

     There is a phrase that has gained popularity over the years - that has become an easy out in parenting, "As a parent, we need to pick our battles".  While this is true, we must be sure we are not choosing to abdicate from the battles that involve "bleach".  Don't be afraid to parent your children in love, to the standards God has set before us -- it is our job and the benefits are eternal!

"Love does not delight

in evil but rejoices with

the truth.  It ALWAYS protects,

always trusts, always hopes,

always perseveres."

I Corinthians 13:6&7



Speaking Blessing

Have you ever looked at something far off in the distance and squinted long and hard trying to make out what it is?  Then someone comes alongside and says, "Isn't that neat how you can just barely make out the shape of _________ (such and such a landmark)?"  I often feel like that is a picture of parenting - the end result, known only by God, is so far off in the distance that we can hardly see what our children are going to mature into...but we know it is out there.

It can be hard to know what to "aim for" with our children at most stages of parenting; when they are young we feel we might get to have them forever and don't want them to grow up.  Then, as they enter into the teen years, we may be tempted to feel they are growing too quickly without hope they will grow in the ways we want for them.  I believe that as we look to the Word, we can find God's way of dealing with raising our children up through each of these stages...in fact, it is not that different than how God deals with each of us.  What does He do?  He speaks blessing and hope over our lives, even when we feel we don't deserve it!

All throughout the Old and New Testament, God speaks blessing over His people!  Discovering some of these spoken blessings has been of utmost importance for my life and the lives of my children, because as I look to the distant future and try to make out what things will look like in their lives, I realize I can't see clearly.  I don't know who they will marry, I don't know where they will live, I don't know what careers they will pursue - but there is one thing I know and can do now - God wants to bless our children and I can speak God's blessings over them, regardless of the stage!  This accomplishes two things: one it shows our children that there is hope for all that lies ahead, even on the days they don't feel worthy; and two, it reminds us of the truth that God is able to do far more than we could ask or imagine, even if our children's future is looking dim at the moment.

So, what does speaking blessing look like day to day?  Telling your newborn that he/she is a precious gift from God and that He loves them.  Telling your two year old that he/she was created by God and He has good things for them to do.  Telling your seven year old that he/she is growing beautifully in learning more about God and that He has great things in store for their life.  Telling your teenager that even though they can't see where they are supposed to go, God can, and the Word says He has plans to give them a hope and a future.  It is speaking the truth of God's love for them over and over, on good days and hard days - till it sinks it is so solid that no one will be able to take it away.

The hardest times, as a parent, to speak blessing into our kids lives, seem to be the days that we see the least amount of hope; but those are probably the most important times.  They need us to be the "adults" and lovingly remind (us &) them that God has good things to look forward to.  It requires patiently taking a deep breath, giving a hug and assuring them that we love them and God loves them, maybe even sharing a scripture like Jeremiah 29:11, "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'"  Every time we speak God's truth into the lives of our children, we plant seeds of hope and truth that will go down deep and remain ~  it will become part of the important foundation that helps the distance become more clear and bright for them.

Don't ever stop speaking blessing!  God has promised His Word will not return void, so keep God's truth coming out!

Deuteronomy 28:3-9 "You will be blessed in the city and blessed in the country.  The fruit of your womb will be blessed, and the crops of your land...your basket and your kneading trough will be blessed.  You will be blessed when you come in and blessed when you go out...The Lord will send a blessing on your barns and on everything you put your hand to.  The Lord your God will bless you in the land He is giving you."