A Fly on the Wall

     I put the book down beside me, frustrated that it sounded so easy for their family.  It was another "how to" book that promised to organize my world and change our family for the better.  Was there not something more out there?  I knew the answer to that -- it lay in the leather bound book beside my bed, but I longed for the model I could watch and imitate.

     "God, how do I do this parenting thing?  I feel like I need something I can touch and see." 

     I thought back to the beautiful, Christian families I had observed during my teen years, and wished I had paid more attention.  It looked so easy to raise kids when you weren't the one that was responsible for them . . . and now? 

     I looked over at my four year-old son and my two year-old daughter playing on the worn, brown carpet -- they were so happy and carefree, why couldn't I feel that way?  As I glanced down at my swollen belly, I realized it contained part of the answer . . . with another baby on the way, I knew the demands would continue to increase and I felt inadequate to handle the task at hand.

     If only I could be a fly on the wall in a home of a Christian family who knew what they were doing!

     That seemed to be my daily wish.  I would think about it while I vacuumed, while I cooked, while I was with my kids.  I had myself pretty well convinced that if I could be that "fly", I would know what to do, but the opportunities were hard to find.  Instead, I held fast to my daily time with the Lord -- praying and reading His Word -- unaware of how much He intended to do over time.  

     I wanted an instant fix; but God wanted change that would last.  

____________________

 (nine years later)

     I put the book down gently, grateful for the wisdom I had gained.  It was the same leather bound book I had wondered at years ago, but now I had learned the truth . . . as much as there are many wonderful books I can grow and learn from, there is only ONE that will change my life and fill me with the wisdom I crave.  It is God's Word.

     Now I have the perspicuous vantage point, that had I been given my wish of being a fly on a wall, I would not have understood God's desire for what He wanted my family to look like.  I would have tried to make my family into someone else's family, instead of the unique personality that God wanted to mold within our own family. 

     If only I could have rested in that knowledge nine years ago . . . that as long as I seek God for His wisdom and next steps in our lives and family, He continues to shape us into what He plans.  As long as I rest in His Word being the greatest source for all that I need, He will grow me to become more like Him.  There are still books outside of the Word, that I treasure for their wisdom, but even then, it is the ways that they point me back to God and His Word that I find the strength.

     Why would I want to become like someone else, when He has made available everything I need to keep growing in being more like Him?

"That your faith might not

rest on men's wisdom, but

on God's power."

I Corinthians 2:5

How Green is Your Grass?

The question may sound strange - How Green is your Grass? - but follow me for a moment...On our lawn, we seem to always have a hard time keeping weeds away despite efforts of pulling dandelions and treating with natural solutions. As I have learned more about lawns, I have come to understand that more important than trying to get rid of the weeds, is to try to keep your grass healthy. When I first heard this, I thought immediately of how that applied to my own life - it is so easy for me to focus on trying to get rid of weeds instead of focusing on growing good, green grass. The same applies as we parent our kids too. It is so easy to look at our behaviour and struggles, and those of our children, and think, "If only I could get rid of those weeds." What I am coming to understand better is that if I focus on growing the good grass instead, the weeds will tend to fade away and die.

How do we do this? Most importantly, I think, it is by being in God's Word every day...not just so we can say we read a verse or a chapter, but so we can say we spent time savouring God's Word as if it were a love letter. Also, praying and asking God what He has for us. Listening to music that sings God's truth to our hearts. Taking thoughts captive in our minds and making them obedient to Christ. All these things will cause our grass to become more green and the weeds to fade away.

The Bible refers more than once to us being like grass, in reference also to how brief our lives are and how sure God's Word is. Isaiah 40:6-8 says, "All men are like grass...surely the people are grass...but the Word of our God stands forever." What reassurance to know that God's Word is never going to change, therefore as we apply it to our lives we are using the surest form of weed killer there is. Let's make that grass green.