Don't Stop...till you get to the Heart!

     Again - harsh, prickly words bounce off the windows in the back of our van and I feel my shoulders sag.  Will this never end?  Will my children never learn how to be kind to one another?

     I turn the vehicle into our driveway and I'm tempted to join the firing squad and add my own set of "bullets" to the words that are moving at the speed of light, but I stop short.  It won't make it any better.  In fact, unless I reach the heart of each of these children, I'll never deal with the real issue -- the roots.

     Over and over, I resist the urge to apply a band aid to poor behavior; although it feels as attractive as fresh churned butter must to a housefly. 

     I know God wants more than band aids in parenting these children.  Some days I can't believe he entrusts me with this staggering privilege and task of training these young ones.  Does He really think I'll ever succeed?

     There's my first clue that I must have slipped back into relying on my own strength -- that I've been taking the responsibility back into my hands.  It's GOD'S JOB and I'm His vessel to flow through with my children, and I know if I am really going to see these issues resolve then I have to go deeper than rules and consequences . . . I have to get to their hearts!

     Why is it so easy to put on band aids and leave the roots buried?  

     Because I tire of this task.  It's easier to "make" them obey than it is to help them see why they should WANT to obey.

     If God's going to be able to access their hearts, then they must see their need for His help.  Not through belittling them or embarrassment but through gentle one-on-one conversations that expose what lies deeper than the surface of the actions in question.

     It reminds of Jesus' words in Matthew 15, when He said, "The things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these make a man 'unclean'."  Ouch.  That hits so close to home that I can feel the heat flood my face.

     God, help me to never become satisfied with only altering my children's behavior.  Don't let me stop until I get to the heart of each of my children, so they'll learn what it is to cry out to You for their rescue from the issues buried deep inside.  Thank you that Your love is deeper, wider and greater than anything else this world could offer!  Amen.

 

"I speak as to my children-

open wide your hearts...for

we are the temple of the living God."

II Corinthians 6:13&16

Giving Knowledge

I find reminders around me constantly that reveal how much our generation does not believe that there are any absolutes in life, or any true sense of right or wrong.  What a difficult time to train up children...and yet God gives us everything we need to do the job, IF we turn to Him and trust in Him.  So how do we navigate training our children when there are no clear answers around us?  Hosea 4:6 says that, "My (God's) people are destroyed from lack of knowledge."  That means that when God's people did not understand what was needed, they did not survive.  This refers to people who were personally acknowledging God, not just the general population.  If that is the case, what is the knowledge we - and our children - need to have, in order to avoid destroying our lives?

I believe with all my heart the knowledge we need is an understanding of God's truth, found in the Bible.  God, as Creator, made us and our world to function on biblical values, and when those are ignored, we slide into chaos - just as we are seeing demonstrated all around us.  BUT that does not mean we have to follow anyone down that slippery slope, nor allow our children to follow either.  God told us right from the beginning, that our job as parents was to lay the foundations in our children's hearts DAILY - as we rise, as we walk, as we lie down...it is serious business and should be of highest priority in our families.  This is the true foundation of eternal value - which also helps put perspective to ballet lessons, hockey and anything else we feel is of value for our children.  I am not saying those things can't be part of our lives, but we need to be sure that laying God's foundations remains top priority.  These are the formative years, when we have a brief window and privilege to lay values based on God's truths that can last a lifetime and help them navigate the waters they will have to face.

Why are these foundations so key?  God has promised in the book of Isaiah that when His word goes out, it will not return void but accomplish what He desires.  We know that God desires godly values and principles to be planted into the hearts of our children, but it doesn't happen without serious effort.  I don't mean that the experience is "serious", but we should find ourselves so full of God's Word ourselves that it flows out into the practical applications of life with our children.  I had  a real life example of this recently with my four year old, as he came to me and shared something special; he said, "Mommy, I wanted to take something that didn't belong to me, but I didn't, because I remembered that God says we shouldn't steal." I was blessed in that moment, because it was God and His Word that did not return void - not my wonderful parenting skills.  More and more, I am convinced that the only hope for our children is the Word of God planted deeply in them.

Will we see the benefits right away?  Absolutely not!  That same little four year old was guilty of hitting his sister less than an hour later.  He knew that God's Word says we are to be loving and kind, but as I brought Scripture to apply to a new situation, his heart was stirred and he again became aware of what he had done wrong and made things right.  I wish I could tell you that there is an easier way, but there isn't - it is God's truth applied over and over and over again in our children's lives that is going to reap the harvest.
May we not be found part of the people who are destroyed for lack of knowledge, but instead be like the people described in Psalm 1, where it says, "(They) are like trees planted by streams of water, which yield their fruit in season and whose leaf does not whither.  Whatever they do, prospers."