Time for Tears

     The sparkle left her blue eyes as they clouded over with sadness.  Her mouth pinched together at the sides and evidence of holding in pain become obvious.  Her head rested on her pillow and I, as mom, saw two doors in front of me --

     Door # 1) tuck the blankets around her, give a quick kiss and tell her she'll feel better in the morning (I know it sounds awful now, but come on, you've been at the bedside of your children when all you can think about is how much is left to do)

     OR

     Door # 2) climb up on that top bunk (which just seems to require more effort than it should) and take time for her to unleash the tears and stories

     This time I chose door # 2.

     As I lay beside her, inquiring about why she looked so sad, the first story came out.  Someone had hurt her with their words . . . they were unkind, thoughtless comments that had penetrated deep in her heart.  We talked about truth for that situation, wiped away the tears and shared hugs.  Then another story emerged, tears bubbled up and more talking / listening occurred.  After a lengthy time of listening, snuggling and praying she went to sleep with a smile on her face and in her heart.

     A fine line exists between a child that stalls at bedtime and the same child that needs a loving, listening ear.  Our role, as mom is to differentiate between the two.

     This time my heart affirmed that I'd chosen right, but it doesn't mean there wasn't sacrifice on my part. 

     It's hard to stop the rush of life and focus on that little heart that needs to be heard, when a hundred more responsibilities are screaming for our attention. 

     But that may be one of the most important roles we have as moms, and my guess is that it may become one the traits we're remembered for best someday if we choose to make the time.

     So when that little (or big) one crawls into bed holding back the tears that threaten to flow; stop and listen to your heart -- is this a moment that holds greater worth than the looming dishes, paperwork and dirt?  Chances are, it may be the most important moment of your day . . . and the reward will be evident in the joy on their face when they awake for a new day!

"Those who sow with tears

will reap with songs of joy."

Psalm 126:5



Old-Fashioned Communication

     I was sixteen.

     I knew it was wrong.

     But I did it anyway…I bought Cole’s Notes for a Shakespearean play I was supposed to read.

     I learned an important lesson that semester in English 101 – you miss the depth and richness that’s available to enjoy when you buy the “short version”. There was a lot I could have learned from ol’ William had I read the original text, but I cheated myself. I missed the author’s best and compromised with second-rate.

     We live in a Cole’s Notes world.

     Everything is the short version… the fast version… the instant version – we are missing the depths of real life!

     Surrounded by social networking, texting, email, voice messages and more; everything gets to us abbreviated. Sometimes my precious friendships even feel robbed of their potential when I only make time for a one-line update. Don’t get me wrong, I am thrilled with how many people I can stay connected with, but I don’t want it to be at the expense of those with whom I MUST stay connected.

     Short and sweet on a typed line with a friend, is an easy substitute for a real life discussion with my husband that is so needed.

     A quick text as a reminder may be more convenient, but it causes me to miss the sweet inflection of a voice I love to hear.

     A voice message is helpful in saving time, but I may never know that person needed prayer for something else today.

     How can we get off of Facebook and into a real book? How can we hear people’s stories in their entirety and not just the short versions? What do we need to do TODAY to be fully present where we are and embrace those we love?

     We live in a world of “get more done” and the communication conveniences we’re surrounded by are not about to disappear, but we can monitor them. We can choose to reach out for human contact even when there is an automated replacement available. And even more importantly, we can be sure to keep a magnifying glass focused in on the pulse of our most prized relationships.

“In your relationships with one another,

have the same mindset as Christ Jesus.”

Philippians 2:5



Last Times

     Lori's chubby knees flew across the floor, as peels of laughter bubbled up from inside . . . she was such a fast baby.  Her mother watched from nearby and wished these days could last, but she knew in her heart it wasn't possible.  Her little Lori was pulling up on furniture daily and testing her little legs to see if they would carry her better than her calloused, experienced knees. 

     How could her mother know this would be the LAST time she would crawl?  If she'd known, she would have reached for the camera to capture it just one more time. 

     Tomorrow baby Lori would discover the inevitable truth -- legs are faster than knees, and this stage would be gone forever!  The LAST time.

     ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

     Mike's briefcase was in hand and his coat zipped up tight . . . a late night meeting demanded he miss another night at home.  His lips brushed against his wife's forehead and he whispered his goodbyes.  His wife, Nancy, knew she would be asleep long before her husband was home  -- she responded with a brief farewell, although she still fought the frustration that simmered under the surface. 

     How could she know this would be the LAST time she would kiss her husband goodbye?  If she'd known, she would've let go of those trivial issues and fully embraced the moment.

     This night a drunk driver would take Nancy's husband from her, and he would be gone to eternity!  The LAST time.

     ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

     Two examples of LASTS -- one ends in healthy development and one in tragedy, but neither was anticipated.  That is often the way it is with LASTS. 

     We spend our lifetimes waiting for FIRSTS, don't we?

• the first breath
• the first smile
• the first tooth
• the first step
• the first word
• then later... the first time behind a wheel
• the first date

     But how aware are we of LASTS?

• the last time they will crawl
• the last time they will nurse
• the last time they will fit in the sink for a bath
• the last time they will need us to tie their shoes
• then later... last time they will hold our hand
• the last time they will live under our roof

     David asked the Lord in Psalm 39:4 to, "Show me, O Lord, my life's end and the number of my days; let me know how fleeting is my life." 

     David cried out for the balance that comes from knowing each day is a gift of its own.

     God doesn't purpose for any of us to live in fear that tragedy will strike, but neither does He want us to take life for granted.  The people God has strategically placed in our lives -- spouses, children, relatives, friends -- need to be treasured for each moment we are given with them. 

     Let go of the petty frustrations.

     Embrace the celebrations of the day.

     God, show us how temporary our life on earth is and how we can make the most of the minutes we have with those we love!  Bring the perspective that we must have to live each day to the fullest of what You intend for us!

"Now, Lord, what do I look for?

My hope is in You."

Psalm 39:7

Making the Most of the Little Moments

I have heard it said before that, "Quality times happens amidst quantity time," and I have come to believe that is true.  It may be easy to say that we will carve out an hour a day, per child, but it is not easy to do.  In fact, the more children we have, the more work there is to do, which makes it harder to carve out the hours to be one on one with those we love most.  So, here is what I propose...

While we are all making the most of the quantity of time we have with our children - which to my liking is rarely enough (unless it is a really bad toddler day :-) - create special mini-events to make the most of those little moments.  How does this look?  I have found it looks like: readjusting my expectations to be happy to share one book with a child, even if I can't read all afternoon.  Being happy to scratch my daughter's back for five minutes at bedtime and chat, even if I can't snuggle her for the evening.  Enjoying a time of "Rescue Hero" pretend play for 10 minutes on the rug between rounds of laundry, even though I would rather play all day.  Is that painting a picture?

I have come to see that the moments my children seem to enjoy and recollect the most are not the ones I put the greatest efforts into.  By that, I mean the large scale events - it still takes effort and discipline on my part to sit down and read a book when my tasks are staring me in the face - but not nearly the effort that a whole day at a zoo or a park would take.  Both types of events are important, precious and memorable; but I have found when one of my daughter tells me what means the most to her, it is in the time I took to listen to her tell me something important while I scratched her back.  Or when one of my sons expresses what he loved about his day, it will be something seemingly little (but not really little at all, in his mind); like a tickle fight on the floor.

Don't look down on the small stuff, and don't stop putting out effort because there isn't time to do the big events all the time.  That is real life - we know there will ALWAYS be so much to do!  BUT we only have these moments to savour for a while.  For as long as my kids want to sit on the couch and read, I want to be sure I have read at least something with them.  For as long as they have thoughts to share, I want to be sure I have listened for at least a little while.  I don't think anyone is helped when we neglect all duties to "play" all day, but everyone is helped when we make the most of little moments.  They will never forget it and neither will we!

Zechariah 4:10 "Do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin."