Big "LITTLE" Choices

     I would love to eat another cookie!

     Everything within me wants to "let loose" on my child in this moment!

     I want to give up -- there isn't any hope this will get better!

     Do any of the reflections above resonate in your weary being from time to time?  Are you amazed at how hard it seems to be to live out life well here on this green earth?  Don't you find it is easier to give in than press in?

     The older I grow, the more I realize it is the LITTLE choices that make the biggest impact in life!

     I desperately long to choose well in the small areas because I have come to see how greatly they impact the big areas of my life.  That, in turn, is like a row of dominoes standing tall -- one touch and many fall -- so similar to life as a mom.  Whether we like it or not, what we do and what we say is being carefully monitored and imitated every day!  No pressure.  Smile.

     As humans, we seem to quickly complicate the space we live in with big goals and high hopes and forget that it all stems from the small decisions that constantly glare at us.  While big goals aren't wrong, we have to bring everything down to the level of life where we daily dwell . . . moment by moment. 

     That is why a great big goal of losing twenty pounds has to be viewed through the LITTLE choices of whether to have one freshly-baked, warm chocolate brownie or whether to have three. 

     It is also why a great big goal of living on a budget of $"X" a month has to be viewed through the LITTLE choices of whether to buy one silky, bright shirt or whether to buy four.

     We are surrounded by choices every day and not all of them are right and wrong -- ultimately those are the easy ones -- it is the small ones that govern the big picture that need more value given to them.  Think about these comparatives:

• It's easier to turn on our TVs than to pick up our Bibles
• It's easier to give into frustration with a child than to keep our emotions in check
• It's easier to defend ourselves and blame others than to take responsibility for our own actions

     Why do LITTLE choices have to feel so arduous? 

     Because God is calling us to higher heights and greater depths, but we won't be ready to travel there until we have grown in self-discipline and self-control in the LITTLE things. 

     The Parable of the Talents found in Matthew 25 reminds me of these truths . . . Jesus told the story of three men who were all entrusted with talents, but in varying quantities.  When the Master returned, the concern on His heart was not who was the best, but whether they had been faithful with what they had been given.  Those who were found faithful even with little were given even more!

     A famous quote calls out - Don't Sweat the Small Stuff, but I would challenge us to, in a way, sweat the small stuff and watch the big stuff get easier!  God is our ever-present help and as we press into Him, He will walk us through each moment with His strong arm to lean on.

"For everyone who has

will be given more, and he

will have an abundance."

Matthew 25:29

    



What To Do With Anger

Anger - who likes it?  And yet it is part of life that is hard to avoid at some points; either in our day, week, month or at least year.  Every stage of life seems to bring more opportunities to practice self-control and grow in the direction of handling those incredible emotions of anger better.  Whether it is with the introduction of marriage and now having to share everything with our spouse, or the introduction of children who require even more of everything we have and then some.  These are the realities of life and the place from which we need to grow - I think dealing well with anger is like many things in life...Sometimes it is two steps forward and one step back but our ability to gain better self-control does not stay still, we are either moving ahead in growth or falling back in failing.  How do we better manage those moments that life WILL, not might, bring?

I have shared about the topic of expectations (http://www.myheartathome.com/2010/03/expectations.html) before, but for me that plays a significant part in keeping anger in check - with my husband, children, parents, friends, etc...  The more I expect from those around me, the more opportunity I will have to get frustrated and potentially angry with them.  It is not that we shouldn't expect anything, but we need to keep our hopes and expectations of them reasonable so that we do not set ourselves up for disappointments, which can lead to anger. I have also found that the rut of expectations is often based on my own selfishness and not a desire for the best for others.

Also, I need to study myself well and know what areas I am weakest in in order to be prepared to mentally walk into those times in the right mindset.  It can be that certain time of the month, it can be a week of little sleep with a newborn, it can be a week that is filled to the brim with activities (something we work very hard to avoid, but we all get those times once in a while).  Whatever the areas are, it helps to take a few minutes and look ahead to what we might be facing, NOT for the sake of dreading it, but for the sake of putting perspective to it and asking God for His strength to face it.  Remember, that is not a one time prayer, but a "praying without ceasing" type of prayer - there are many times that I know the only thing that has carried me through a "certain time"well has been prayer.

There are many other thoughts I could share, but in an effort to keep it to my favourites,  I will share one more - but you may not like it -  Bite Your Tongue!  There may be issues that need to be handled and spoken to, but sometimes those conversations can and should wait till later.  David speaks to this in Psalm 4:4, where he says, "Don't sin by letting anger control you.  Think about it overnight and remain silent." (I know, someone is going to email me back and say, but Paul says not to let the sun go down on your anger - BUT I think we can use our hearts and our heads and apply wisdom.  I feel they are speaking to two different scenarios - one that you know exactly what I am talking about is that if we are quiet we will avoid alot of useless arguing, where the other may refer to those conversations that must happen even when they are hard.)  

Not only does biting our tongue work SO WELL - it is biblical too.  James 1:19&20 lays out the basics of everything we have spoken of here, "You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to get angry.  Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires." It is when we are self-focused that we are best preparing ourselves for anger - "I am offended"..."YOU made me mad"..."I am....", you get the idea.  Throw those feelings and offenses up to God and ask for His help, don't throw them at the other person - remember it is those we love the most we can hurt the hardest.  May our lives be ones of love!