Grumpy Saturdays

     "Mom, can you cut my hair?"

     "Honey, what's for lunch?"

     "Kristen, would you have time to read through this document?"

     When I think of "grumpy Saturdays", I have to confess, I'm sadly referring to ME being the grumpy one, not the rest of my family.  In fact, if any day of the week guarantees more happy smiles and relaxed kids, it's Saturday; and if there's a challenge, it usually rests with me.

     I've asked myself over and over, "Kristen, why are you spoiling Saturday?  This is a day for our family."  I've felt so frustrated with myself and tried so hard to change.  Fortunately, a number of years ago, I discovered the reason for my grumpy Saturdays -- now I just have to stay disciplined to keep working on it. 

     Do you want to know what caused grumpy Saturdays for me?

     My expectation that I deserved the day off too!

     Does it sound too simple and a little selfish?  That's because it is!  When I realized that every week my mind was building up to the excitement of "a day off", a light bulb went on for me . . . if our family was to enjoy a day off together, someone had to be directing it, and I felt that was part of the role God's given to me.  It was when I finally accepted that responsibility, that Saturdays became a joy to me.

     I have an idea of what you may be thinking . . . But moms work hard all week, we deserve a day off!  Yes, that's true, but maybe not in the way we expect. 

     The expression, "a day off", could easily conjure images of our feet resting on a soft pink stool, a mug of steaming, spiced coffee warming our hands, exquisite dark chocolate truffles resting on a silver tray beside us and silence hovering over the house.  BUT, we all know that is not real life, nor the stage of life we are in during this time of mothering. 

     I wish I could give that gift to all of you ~ and allow you to savour silence, sweets and sanity on a regular basis, but to this point I've not found ways to carve that into my life yet either. 

     For the purpose of balance, though, we do need to be sure that we're looking for times to have our husbands or friends help us take small pockets of time for a warm bath or a trip to a coffee shop; the key is that our expectations must be reasonable!

     So what do we do with grumpy Saturdays?  First, we admit that as much as we want to completely spoil ourselves, that is not what we're called to do.  Then, we settle into our homes and look for creative ways to make Saturday (or whichever day is your family day) a special time -- that doesn't mean going places all the time; it can be as simple as playing some board games, taking a walk in the woods or decorating home-made pizza together.  Be sure you say "No" to what can be left undone, and remember, the more balanced we can make the day with kids helping on chores or dad doing some dishes or maybe even a simple supper of french toast, the more we'll all enjoy it.

     As hard as it is, make the effort to rise above the "woe is me" feelings and ask God to help you make your family days a gift from you, as mom, to your family.  We'll never look back and regret the effort it took to make the memories together!

"Jesus said...'If any of you

wants to be my follower,

you must turn from your selfish ways'."

Big "LITTLE" Choices

     I would love to eat another cookie!

     Everything within me wants to "let loose" on my child in this moment!

     I want to give up -- there isn't any hope this will get better!

     Do any of the reflections above resonate in your weary being from time to time?  Are you amazed at how hard it seems to be to live out life well here on this green earth?  Don't you find it is easier to give in than press in?

     The older I grow, the more I realize it is the LITTLE choices that make the biggest impact in life!

     I desperately long to choose well in the small areas because I have come to see how greatly they impact the big areas of my life.  That, in turn, is like a row of dominoes standing tall -- one touch and many fall -- so similar to life as a mom.  Whether we like it or not, what we do and what we say is being carefully monitored and imitated every day!  No pressure.  Smile.

     As humans, we seem to quickly complicate the space we live in with big goals and high hopes and forget that it all stems from the small decisions that constantly glare at us.  While big goals aren't wrong, we have to bring everything down to the level of life where we daily dwell . . . moment by moment. 

     That is why a great big goal of losing twenty pounds has to be viewed through the LITTLE choices of whether to have one freshly-baked, warm chocolate brownie or whether to have three. 

     It is also why a great big goal of living on a budget of $"X" a month has to be viewed through the LITTLE choices of whether to buy one silky, bright shirt or whether to buy four.

     We are surrounded by choices every day and not all of them are right and wrong -- ultimately those are the easy ones -- it is the small ones that govern the big picture that need more value given to them.  Think about these comparatives:

• It's easier to turn on our TVs than to pick up our Bibles
• It's easier to give into frustration with a child than to keep our emotions in check
• It's easier to defend ourselves and blame others than to take responsibility for our own actions

     Why do LITTLE choices have to feel so arduous? 

     Because God is calling us to higher heights and greater depths, but we won't be ready to travel there until we have grown in self-discipline and self-control in the LITTLE things. 

     The Parable of the Talents found in Matthew 25 reminds me of these truths . . . Jesus told the story of three men who were all entrusted with talents, but in varying quantities.  When the Master returned, the concern on His heart was not who was the best, but whether they had been faithful with what they had been given.  Those who were found faithful even with little were given even more!

     A famous quote calls out - Don't Sweat the Small Stuff, but I would challenge us to, in a way, sweat the small stuff and watch the big stuff get easier!  God is our ever-present help and as we press into Him, He will walk us through each moment with His strong arm to lean on.

"For everyone who has

will be given more, and he

will have an abundance."

Matthew 25:29

    



Can't I Linger Longer?

The alarm clock shatters the silence of the early morning stillness and I stretch out in the dark to cease the unwelcome vociferation.  In my head, I overhear the same familiar thoughts that seem to haunt me each morning...Just take a few more minutes of rest, don't you think you deserve it?  It is so snug and pleasant, maybe if you linger just a short time, it won't make a difference.  Oh, but it will!  I only need remind myself of the days gone by when I have chosen additional respite, and then the memories of the ramifications flow like a raging river.  No, I tell myself, the few minutes of resting here will be regretted far into the afternoon if I choose to be so selfish. It is time to get up!

The calling of responsibilities, it seems, will forever be at war with the fleshly side of who I am...the mom, who when nestled in her ivory fleece sheets, feels more like a cat curled in the sunshine, than the one in charge of a household of seven.  I, the one who loves order as much as a general in the army, must remind myself that one portion of routine cannot be savoured if I have not followed through with the earlier portion of self-discipline.  And so, it is out of bed I find myself, without granting permission for "snooze" to be touched, and into the shower to begin my day.

As I work a thick lather of sweet-smelling soap into my hair, I ponder again those words of old...yes, God grants sleep to those He loves (Psalm 127), but strange, nowhere in the Bible does He take time to tell me to get enough sleep.  He seems to know that I am prone to favour the snare of laziness.  Is it not safe to conclude that my Creator knew I would gravitate to sleep like a fly to butter, and it is I who am in need of the cautioning verses like Proverbs 19:15?  In the Message it words it well by saying, "Life collapses on the loafers; lazybones go hungry."  And as much as I might wince when I hear of the woman from Proverbs 31, I have to give her credit - her lights were on late into the evening and she was up before sunrise...I am seeing the similarities of our lives.

My thoughts are suspended as there is a "POUND, POUND" at the door of the bathroom.  I hear the elevated voice of my child, trying to be heard above the flow of water, "Are we having toast and honey today?"  Do their stomachs really groan of hunger so early in the morning, or is it just a guise to burst the bubble of tranquility that their mother had been savouring?  Either way, the time has come to end the enticing flow of hot water over my skin, and I step out of the shower and into the day that awaits me. 

By the time I am standing at the breakfast counter, across from five of the sweetest faces I will ever gaze upon, I am reminded of the reason I rose with the clock, and not with my fleshly choosing.  It was in order that I might relish the delicate rhythms of routine and order that come with life in a timely manner, as opposed to struggling through the rush and tension that would be bearing down on us all, IF mommy had chosen to linger longer.

"Love not sleep, lest you come to poverty; Open your eyes and you will be satisfied with bread (toast and honey maybe?)." Proverbs 20 :13

Robins & Self-Discipline

I was so blessed last month to see a beautiful sight of a robin holding a worm in its mouth. At first glance, that may not seem so impressive or lovely, but I was encouraged by the self-discipline of that robin. As with most birds, it was holding in its beak life's greatest reward (equivalent for us to a big piece of chocolate or cheesecake) and yet it was sacrificing the enjoyment of eating that worm for the sake of nourishing her little ones back at the nest. What a picture of self-discipline! As I watched her fly off with the worm, still choosing not to enjoy the taste of it, I was struck with the reminder of how much I need to continue to pursue self-discipline in my own life.

I don't know where you are at, but I have found that the busier life gets, the harder self-discipline becomes in certain areas. When I was younger, it was commonplace to get up, do my devotions, an aerobic workout, read for a while, work, bike or walk, etc...you can quickly see as you reflect on a list like that, that time was on my side. Now in the fast pace world of toddlers, preteens, homeschooling, ministry and fun, all those things have become seemingly out of reach. Of course, that is not entirely true, but self-discipline becomes a prize of greater worth because it requires greater sacrifice and focus. Just like that robin, the things that I would enjoy most, for a time, may need to be enjoyed at another time for the sake of my "baby birds". The flip side is also there, though, which is that many of those things are still required for healthy living and I need to increase self-discipline so that they can be enjoyed. All areas of life require prayerful balance, don't they?

Proverbs 23:23 combines the importance of discipline in with wisdom and understanding, highlighting the importance of us seeking after it with great seriousness. I love Paul's reference to self-discipline when he refers to it as in I Corinthians 9:26&27, "I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave." That is serious self-discipline and I find it applies to so many areas of my life...getting up early so I have time to be in the Word, biting my tongue when I feel frustrated with my husband, putting down the second (or third) cookie even though I want to eat more, choosing to use a gentle tone with my children even when I am exhausted, cleaning the toilets even though I would rather read a book...the list is endless and different for each person. While any one of us may seem very disciplined in one area, you can be guaranteed that there is another area that we have to work on and grow in.

Do not leave discouraged, though! We must recognize that this should not be attempted in our own strength, if that is how we seek to achieve self-discipline then we are throwing away God's gift to us through Jesus Christ. More and more I find myself asking Jesus for his help in those moments of the day when I feel pressed on every side and He is faithful - that doesn't make it easy but it does make it possible.

Let me close with these awesome verses from I Peter 1 - post it somewhere where you can see it as a visual reminder, if you can...verses 2&3, "Grace and peace be yours in abundance through the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord. His divine power has given us EVERYTHING we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him." Try to find time to meditate on those verses and the rest of that chapter, if you can - it speaks of precious promises that help us escape evil desires, the call to make every effort to add to our faith, goodness, knowledge, self-control, perseverance, godliness, kindness and love...even closing with the understanding that this is what will keep us from being ineffective and not falling.

Don't give up - keep pressing in and on. Victory is sure, even if it does not seem to be in sight, that is where faith kicks in. Find the verses in the Word, like those above, get them somewhere where you can see them a lot and focus on all God has for you.