LIFE-GIVING WORDS

     Words that give life are often not easy to find, but they're out there; and for the sake of the deepest parts of our beings, they must be found.  They are the food for our souls that we desperately need!  Although we may deliver beautiful words of life to our families each day, we also need to receive them, don't we?

     But what if we're not receiving life-giving words back in the measure our hearts seem to call out for?

     Each day is different; one morning your preschooler may snuggle in and whisper, "Mommy, I love you so much I want to marry you," and we'll find the meter rise on our life-giving word tank.  But less than 12 hours may pass before our ears hear our older child stomp out of the room, saying, "Mom, you're just not fair - I wish I didn't live here," and we watch the same meter dangerously plummet near empty.

     How are we, as moms, supposed to stay fed on life-giving words when there isn't any way we can predict the next words that will flow from our husband's, friend's or children's mouths?

     First, we treasure each loving word that is shared and tuck them away safely in our hearts.

     Second, we ask God to help us calmly release each negative word that is thrown at us and quickly forgive the offender from our hearts.

     Third, we do our best to find safe places where life-giving words flow that we may have a source outside those who may be draining our tanks on a regular basis.

     Fourth - and most importantly - we go to THE SOURCE of all life, Jesus Christ.  Not just when we're low, but daily, regardless of where our meters are at.  Isaiah 55 calls out to us, when it says...
     "All who are thirsty, come to the water...buy without money-everything's free!
      Why do you spend your money on junk food...fill yourself with only the finest.
      Pay attention, come close now, listen carefully to my LIFE-GIVING, life-nourishing words.
      I'm making a lasting covenant commitment with you...
      You'll go out with joy, you'll be led into a whole and complete life."


     There's only one source where we can be guaranteed to find LIFE -- we must plunge ourselves into the words of God and let it speak to the places deep inside that hurt, ache and are withered.  Only our Creator can bring the lasting, LIFE-GIVING words that we need to hear, so that we may be found complete and whole, not lacking any good thing.

"Lions may grow weak and hungry,

but those who seek the Lord lack NO good thing."

Psalm 34:10

As Though They Were

     The numbers roll off her tongue like raindrops on a windowpane - fast and furious.  "Two plus two is four.  Four plus four is eight.  Eight plus eight is sixteen.  Sixteen plus . . . "  On and on the numbers increase, continuing into the hundreds.  It isn't unusual except that she's only six years old, and she's ours. 

     We encourage and applaud.  We are amazed.

     This, in turn, means that she tries even harder to say them faster and learn them farther.  This makes me wonder -- Does she do this so well because we encourage or because she would anyway?

     I don't know the answer.  But I do know that almost anyone will run fatster or jump higher when they are spurred on by the sounds of a cheering crowd in the stands as opposed to silence, but is that what brings the success?  Beyond math facts, what about the rest of life that spreads out before our children?

    My mind races to remember where that verse is in the Bible -- the one that says what God speaks over us.  Oh yes, Romans 4:17.  It says that, "God...calls things that are not as though they were."

     I think of the achievements and failures in my own life and I'm thankful that God calls things in my life that are not as though they are.  I'm relieved that someone believes in my future when I don't.

     If this is what God does for us, then would it not be what we are called to do for our children?  Speak blessing into their future, whether we see the tangible evidence in front of us or not.

     Would you rather aim high in life when someone is whispering in your ear that you CAN do it or when a brash voice is pointing a execrative finger at where you failed again? 

     It doesn't mean we never correct our children and their poor or wrong behaviour.  No, that must be done so that they can be taught to learn from their mistakes.  BUT, what are the words they hear during the other 23 hours in the day? 

     "I am so proud of you for helping your sister fix her toy." 
                               OR
     "Why didn't you clean the mess that you and your sister left?"

     "You are doing a great job being careful not to interrupt conversations."
                               OR
     "Why did you keep tugging on my arm when I was talking?"

     "Thanks for speaking gently to your brother this morning."
                                OR
     "Why couldn't you be nicer to your brother?"


     You see, I've learned a few things about myself as a parent:

1. I tend to see what is out of order, before I appreciate what is in order
2. I am more likely to point out what I want to see changed than what I like
3. I would be more tempted to speak a criticism than a blessing

     Why would I confess these sad realities about my parenting to you?  Because every day I am reminded that I have two ways of looking at the relationships that I am blessed to be surrounded by -- either I will see the negative and speak the continuation of the same in my loved one's lives, OR I will look for the positive and speak with a mouth of hope towards those I love, just as God does for me.

    I want taste honey when I lick my lips, not vinegar. 

    I must evaluate the words that sit on my tongue BEFORE I let them escape, not after.  The same lesson I continue to instruct my children with applies to me -- think before you speak.  If I can look for and find the good, it needs to be given a voice.  And if I can't find the good, then I need to speak with hope -- to call those things that aren't as though they were.

"For in hope we were saved.

Now hope that is seen is not hope,

because who hopes for what he sees?

But if we hope for what we do not see,

we eagerly wait for it with endurance."

Romans 8:24 & 25

Puppet Shows

When I was a child I remember being totally mesmerized by puppet shows. It didn't matter whether they were big puppets or little puppets, if the person behind the puppet could make me believe even for a moment, that the puppet could really talk, I was hooked. These kinds of puppet shows are amusing and innocent, but there is another kind of puppet show that can happen in our lives that is neither fun nor healthy, and those are the ones in which the enemy uses us as his puppets. Sound confusing? Let me explain further.

I was reading in I Samuel 17 and reflecting on the thrilling moment when David stood before Goliath ready to defeat him - more than most other stories, I am sure you remember this one.  But what I noticed this time while reading, that came just prior to David's great victory, was in verse 28, where it says, "When Eliab, David's oldest brother, heard him (David) speaking with the men, he burned with anger at him and asked, 'Why have you come down here? And with whom did you leave those few sheep in the desert? I know how conceited you are and how wicked your heart is'." Wow - can you imagine having your big brother, of whom you had travelled far to bring food to and most likely had looked up to, speak to you like that? Not only did his brother make it very clear to David that he wasn't welcome, his brother insulted his job, his reputation and his character. It is interesting to me that the enemy used David's oldest brother as a "puppet" to try to keep him from doing what God had called and equipped David to do that very day, which was to kill the giant that no one else (including David's big brother) had dared to face.

There is also the similar experience that Jesus had with Peter in the New Testament, found in Matthew 16. Jesus had begun to share what would happen when he went to the cross, and Peter's quick reply found in verse 22-23, said, "'Never, Lord...this shall never happen to you!' Jesus turned and said to Peter, 'Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the things of God, but the things of men'." Ouch - could it get more insulting than that? And yet, Jesus was perfect - he saw past Peter and straight to the enemy who was using Peter as his "puppet" in trying to turn Jesus away from what God had called him to do. The similarities to David with his older brother, and Jesus with Peter are very noticeable; in both situations the enemy was trying to keep those called, from fulfilling their purposes.

How does this apply to us? I believe there are two very important applications we can take from these stories. The first application is this; the enemy will use anyone he can find, including and sometimes especially, those closest to us, to try to turn us away from facing our challenges and our callings.  Therefore, it is very important when we hear words that hurt us or discourage us, especially when the words originate from those we are closest to, that we evaluate whether the words hold truth or the lies of the enemy. I have yet to try saying, "Get behind me satan" to my husband - not sure if that would go over well - but you get the idea. Satan will use whomever he can gain access to as his "puppets", if only for a moment, to discourage us and tear us down so we have to be on guard against his schemes. These stories are also a good reminder to us, that the battle and opposition that can come against us personally, can be greatest just prior to our biggest victories, so watch for that.

The second application is more simple, but just as important; the enemy wants and will try to use us as his "puppets" to tear down or discourage others who are in our lives, and we need to be ever aware of that possibility. I have heard it said that, "There, but for the grace of God, go I", and we need to live with that kind of grace evident in our lives. When the enemy tempts us to open our mouths and say what we FEEL; stop, take a deep breath, give a quick prayer, and see if what is wanting to come out of our mouths is a trick of the puppet master.

The more "puppet shows" that we can put an end to in our lives and the lives of those around us, the less opportunity the enemy will have to pull us away from what God has called us to do. The next time you see a puppet lying around somewhere, remember what the enemy tried to do - to David just before Goliath, and to Jesus just before the cross - and CHOOSE to not be one of his "puppets"!

Every Word

Words are an important part of every moment of our lives.  We take in information by listening to words, we share words of love, we teach our children words, we understand what our spouse is thinking through their words, we feel built up or torn down with words...we can't escape them.  And yet, for something so significant, it is amazing how carelessly we can let them escape our mouths without a second thought.  We are forewarned in Matthew 12:36 that, "Everyone will have to give account on the day of judgment for every empty word they have spoken."  That has made me pause and deeply evaluate how I am speaking and modeling communication through words.

When I listen to my children talk to each other, especially if they are in the heat of an argument between two of them, I can find myself cringing at the words they use.  Do they not hear what they are saying?  Do they not realize that words sting?  Oh, do I not realize I may have sounded the same way the day before?  As parents, we can say all we want, but when it all comes together, our children will imitate what they hear us saying.  If I find one of my children raising their voices with me in an unkind way, often I can trace the previous few days to frustration that I did not handle well.  The responsibility seems too great, and yet, if I go to that child and tell them I should not have spoken that way and ask their forgiveness, I generally find their tone and words calm quickly.

We are told of the danger with our words, in James 3, where the power of the tongue is described.  James also gives us important instruction when he says that both fresh and salt water cannot flow from the same spring and neither should both blessings and curses flow from the same mouth.  Think about the last month, in your marriage relationship, with your spouse...can you honestly say that every word that flowed from your mouth was blessing towards the one you love?  We know it should be, but most of us - myself included - need to realize that there is a gap between where I am at and where God wants me to be.  I like what Solomon tells us in Proverbs 10:19, he says, "Sin is not ended by multiplying words, but the prudent hold their tongues."  I am quite sure that the majority of my problems would cease if I held my tongue. 

Part of the challenge in this day and age can be that we feel we have the "right" to let others know what we think - that may be excusable for the secular world, but I do not think that is true for us who call ourselves followers of Christ.  In fact, one practice we have exercised with our children, that I too have applied, is that when we are tempted to say something unkind or uncalled for, we bite down on our tongues.  Not so that they bleed, although that might offer a lesson in itself, but I tell our kids to do it till it hurts - the reminder of a twinge of pain can serve as a reminder to the reality of pain that our words could cause if allowed to escape our mouths.

As I reflect back on family life to this point, I could tell you many things I regret saying, but I can't think of ONE THING that I wish I had said when I chose to bite my tongue.  What seems important to get out in the heat of a moment that we tend to regret later, is either; a temptation of the enemy, so he can use us to tear the other person down (I don't want to be his tool, how about you?), or a careless word that would have been better left unsaid.

Proverbs 21:23 "Those who guard their mouths and their tongues keep themselves from calamity."