DO I HAVE TO GROW OLD???

     The wispy, grey curls tucked her face into a beautiful blanket of age.  Her wrinkled, red lips opened and wisdom poured out with each word that came.  I felt my heart stir deep within -- God, do this work within my life too.  But do I know what that will require of me?  I'll have to grow old!

     Society has caused us to believe that aging is a curse . . . that getting old is the worst thing that can happen to anybody.

     According to market research, we spend 72 billion dollars on anti-aging products alone.  That doesn't even include hair colouring products, make-up and apparatuses to hide the sags.  What are we so afraid of?

     We're afraid of the one of the biggest lies of the century -- That we're NOT of value if we are aged.  It reminds me of another tragic lie that our society is currently promoting -- Children are NOT a blessing.  It seems anything that God promotes as good, is twisted into something that should be avoided.  How else could we be deceived into missing the blessings God has planned for us?


     We desperately need God's truth.

     This leads us to the Word and we discover . . .

• "The silver-haired is a crown of glory." Proverbs 16:31
• "They will still yield fruit in their old age." Psalm 92:14
• "Gray hair (is) the splendor of the old." Proverbs 20:29

     Aging is the culmination of God's work in our lives.  The place where, if we have followed hard after Him, we have sagacity that abounds and can be shared with others.

   
     I don't know where YOUR birthday falls on the calendar for the coming year, but go to that date in your mind and ask the Lord what blessings He has for you.  Ask God to encourage your heart.  Remind yourself that you can only age at exactly the rate God has deemed best and He's doing a great work in you.

     Celebrate exactly the age you are TODAY and don't dread the good things God has planned ahead!  Remember we are modeling for our children the ways they will anticipate aging too.

"Abraham was now very old,

and the Lord had blessed him

in EVERY way."

Genesis 24:1

Never Caught Up

     Have you ever felt overcome by a discouraging realization that, as moms, we will never truly be caught up?  Really, Mom, think through what we do in a given day . . .

• Laundry (clean in the morning, stained at night)
• Food (made 3 times a day, consumed 3 times a day)
• Cleaning (vacuumed/shined, messy/dirty)
• Bathing (clean in morning, filthy at night) 

     Are you crying into the sleeve of your shirt yet?  I hope not; I'm building up to some great truth, but in order to appreciate truth for what it is, we need to be in touch with the reality that surrounds us.

     For years, and I mean years, I fought, battled and struggled with my home (and sometimes family) in an effort to "catch up"!  In fact, sometimes I'd equate my life with Cinderella, just needing to get one more pile of things done for the day before I could go swirling out the figurative door to the ball.  

     When I finally BEGAN to accept that I'd never be caught up until my kids had grown and left home, I was blown away.  Is that really what these precious, crazy, wonderful years are about??? Waiting for it to be over???  Of course not!

     We only have two choices: either we embrace the fact that chaos and never-ending job lists are part and parcel with the most incredible stage of caring for our children and family, OR we wish this whole thing away and lose every blessing and precious moment that we have the opportunity to create right now!

     If it's put that way, I know which one I am jumping up and down to choose . . . my family!  But if we fail to see what we are tossing away when we let the ensuing waves of exhausting moments overwhelm us, we'll miss some of the best gifts God is trying to give us.

     So if you can; join me in accepting the reality that although we may not "catch up" for the next 20 years, we can choose today to embrace the joys around us!  Remember moms, none of us has to look further than our subdivision to find a woman who cries herself to sleep each night because she isn't able to have a child.  We're blessed, even if we are exhausted!

"Put your hope in God

who richly provides us

with everything for our

enjoyment."

I Timothy 6:17

As Though They Were

     The numbers roll off her tongue like raindrops on a windowpane - fast and furious.  "Two plus two is four.  Four plus four is eight.  Eight plus eight is sixteen.  Sixteen plus . . . "  On and on the numbers increase, continuing into the hundreds.  It isn't unusual except that she's only six years old, and she's ours. 

     We encourage and applaud.  We are amazed.

     This, in turn, means that she tries even harder to say them faster and learn them farther.  This makes me wonder -- Does she do this so well because we encourage or because she would anyway?

     I don't know the answer.  But I do know that almost anyone will run fatster or jump higher when they are spurred on by the sounds of a cheering crowd in the stands as opposed to silence, but is that what brings the success?  Beyond math facts, what about the rest of life that spreads out before our children?

    My mind races to remember where that verse is in the Bible -- the one that says what God speaks over us.  Oh yes, Romans 4:17.  It says that, "God...calls things that are not as though they were."

     I think of the achievements and failures in my own life and I'm thankful that God calls things in my life that are not as though they are.  I'm relieved that someone believes in my future when I don't.

     If this is what God does for us, then would it not be what we are called to do for our children?  Speak blessing into their future, whether we see the tangible evidence in front of us or not.

     Would you rather aim high in life when someone is whispering in your ear that you CAN do it or when a brash voice is pointing a execrative finger at where you failed again? 

     It doesn't mean we never correct our children and their poor or wrong behaviour.  No, that must be done so that they can be taught to learn from their mistakes.  BUT, what are the words they hear during the other 23 hours in the day? 

     "I am so proud of you for helping your sister fix her toy." 
                               OR
     "Why didn't you clean the mess that you and your sister left?"

     "You are doing a great job being careful not to interrupt conversations."
                               OR
     "Why did you keep tugging on my arm when I was talking?"

     "Thanks for speaking gently to your brother this morning."
                                OR
     "Why couldn't you be nicer to your brother?"


     You see, I've learned a few things about myself as a parent:

1. I tend to see what is out of order, before I appreciate what is in order
2. I am more likely to point out what I want to see changed than what I like
3. I would be more tempted to speak a criticism than a blessing

     Why would I confess these sad realities about my parenting to you?  Because every day I am reminded that I have two ways of looking at the relationships that I am blessed to be surrounded by -- either I will see the negative and speak the continuation of the same in my loved one's lives, OR I will look for the positive and speak with a mouth of hope towards those I love, just as God does for me.

    I want taste honey when I lick my lips, not vinegar. 

    I must evaluate the words that sit on my tongue BEFORE I let them escape, not after.  The same lesson I continue to instruct my children with applies to me -- think before you speak.  If I can look for and find the good, it needs to be given a voice.  And if I can't find the good, then I need to speak with hope -- to call those things that aren't as though they were.

"For in hope we were saved.

Now hope that is seen is not hope,

because who hopes for what he sees?

But if we hope for what we do not see,

we eagerly wait for it with endurance."

Romans 8:24 & 25

Speaking Blessing

Have you ever looked at something far off in the distance and squinted long and hard trying to make out what it is?  Then someone comes alongside and says, "Isn't that neat how you can just barely make out the shape of _________ (such and such a landmark)?"  I often feel like that is a picture of parenting - the end result, known only by God, is so far off in the distance that we can hardly see what our children are going to mature into...but we know it is out there.

It can be hard to know what to "aim for" with our children at most stages of parenting; when they are young we feel we might get to have them forever and don't want them to grow up.  Then, as they enter into the teen years, we may be tempted to feel they are growing too quickly without hope they will grow in the ways we want for them.  I believe that as we look to the Word, we can find God's way of dealing with raising our children up through each of these stages...in fact, it is not that different than how God deals with each of us.  What does He do?  He speaks blessing and hope over our lives, even when we feel we don't deserve it!

All throughout the Old and New Testament, God speaks blessing over His people!  Discovering some of these spoken blessings has been of utmost importance for my life and the lives of my children, because as I look to the distant future and try to make out what things will look like in their lives, I realize I can't see clearly.  I don't know who they will marry, I don't know where they will live, I don't know what careers they will pursue - but there is one thing I know and can do now - God wants to bless our children and I can speak God's blessings over them, regardless of the stage!  This accomplishes two things: one it shows our children that there is hope for all that lies ahead, even on the days they don't feel worthy; and two, it reminds us of the truth that God is able to do far more than we could ask or imagine, even if our children's future is looking dim at the moment.

So, what does speaking blessing look like day to day?  Telling your newborn that he/she is a precious gift from God and that He loves them.  Telling your two year old that he/she was created by God and He has good things for them to do.  Telling your seven year old that he/she is growing beautifully in learning more about God and that He has great things in store for their life.  Telling your teenager that even though they can't see where they are supposed to go, God can, and the Word says He has plans to give them a hope and a future.  It is speaking the truth of God's love for them over and over, on good days and hard days - till it sinks it is so solid that no one will be able to take it away.

The hardest times, as a parent, to speak blessing into our kids lives, seem to be the days that we see the least amount of hope; but those are probably the most important times.  They need us to be the "adults" and lovingly remind (us &) them that God has good things to look forward to.  It requires patiently taking a deep breath, giving a hug and assuring them that we love them and God loves them, maybe even sharing a scripture like Jeremiah 29:11, "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'"  Every time we speak God's truth into the lives of our children, we plant seeds of hope and truth that will go down deep and remain ~  it will become part of the important foundation that helps the distance become more clear and bright for them.

Don't ever stop speaking blessing!  God has promised His Word will not return void, so keep God's truth coming out!

Deuteronomy 28:3-9 "You will be blessed in the city and blessed in the country.  The fruit of your womb will be blessed, and the crops of your land...your basket and your kneading trough will be blessed.  You will be blessed when you come in and blessed when you go out...The Lord will send a blessing on your barns and on everything you put your hand to.  The Lord your God will bless you in the land He is giving you."