Never Caught Up

     Have you ever felt overcome by a discouraging realization that, as moms, we will never truly be caught up?  Really, Mom, think through what we do in a given day . . .

• Laundry (clean in the morning, stained at night)
• Food (made 3 times a day, consumed 3 times a day)
• Cleaning (vacuumed/shined, messy/dirty)
• Bathing (clean in morning, filthy at night) 

     Are you crying into the sleeve of your shirt yet?  I hope not; I'm building up to some great truth, but in order to appreciate truth for what it is, we need to be in touch with the reality that surrounds us.

     For years, and I mean years, I fought, battled and struggled with my home (and sometimes family) in an effort to "catch up"!  In fact, sometimes I'd equate my life with Cinderella, just needing to get one more pile of things done for the day before I could go swirling out the figurative door to the ball.  

     When I finally BEGAN to accept that I'd never be caught up until my kids had grown and left home, I was blown away.  Is that really what these precious, crazy, wonderful years are about??? Waiting for it to be over???  Of course not!

     We only have two choices: either we embrace the fact that chaos and never-ending job lists are part and parcel with the most incredible stage of caring for our children and family, OR we wish this whole thing away and lose every blessing and precious moment that we have the opportunity to create right now!

     If it's put that way, I know which one I am jumping up and down to choose . . . my family!  But if we fail to see what we are tossing away when we let the ensuing waves of exhausting moments overwhelm us, we'll miss some of the best gifts God is trying to give us.

     So if you can; join me in accepting the reality that although we may not "catch up" for the next 20 years, we can choose today to embrace the joys around us!  Remember moms, none of us has to look further than our subdivision to find a woman who cries herself to sleep each night because she isn't able to have a child.  We're blessed, even if we are exhausted!

"Put your hope in God

who richly provides us

with everything for our

enjoyment."

I Timothy 6:17

When Daddy's Late

     Ask ANY mother what the hardest hour of the day is, and my guess is that 9 times out of 10 you will hear a groan escape her lips, just prior to the words, "The supper hour, of course." 

     If you have children that can move around on the their own two knees or feet, you know what I am referring to here.  And if you are the one attempting to put a healthy supper on the table before daddy gets home -- you have already discovered that life at the supper hour is not predictable.

     "Mommy, the dog's chewing my stuffie!"

     "Mommmm, the toilet is overflowing again!"

     "Mom, I fell and my lip is bleeding!"

     After all, we ARE moms -- we rush to the aid of others all day long! 

     We rescue perishing toys, we play the role of plumber, we attempt being a doctor of small injuries . . . and that is only in between the roles we play of teacher, judge and housekeeper!  Are you feeling tired yet?

     This short list - which barely scratches the surface of an average day - certainly gives credit to why our patience can wear thin near the supper hour.  And all the while we are desperately casting glances over our shoulder hoping to catch a glimpse of "daddy" stepping confidently over the threshold of the doorway to our rescue, with his super hero cape fluttering in the breeze. 

     The truth is, the closer we get to the supper hour, the more we feel it's time for the reserves to march in with fresh strength for the battle. 

     In fact, if we are honest, we can be tempted to set our expectations higher and higher, the longer we wait, so that by the time the lucky man walks through the door -- Superman would find it hard to match what we expect.

     But what do we do when Daddy's late? (or worse; Daddy's away?)  (or hardest ever; there is no Daddy at all?)

     1) We keep smiling
     Unless someone needs to be rushed to the emergency, we will survive the next hour, so we may as well do it with a smile on our faces . . . our kids will notice the difference.

     2) We speak positive words only
     One of the enemy's greatest temptations during "solo supper hours" is for us to put down or criticize the man we wish was there to help us, but the reality is - if he's not there, he's not there!  Why damage our kids and families just because we are tired?

     3) We watch for ways to ease the chaos
     When we plan ahead there are many ways to curb the pending disasters; whether it be a healthy snack (our kids have always loved sampling frozen veggies before they are put in the water / carrot sticks / lettuce leaves - if it's veggies, it can't hurt that much) or a surprise coloring page or even a batch of play dough reserved for these moments only.

     4) We ask God to give us His strength
     If there was ever a time to apply the verse, "When I am weak, He is strong" it has to be at the supper hours at which we are flying solo -- God is there, ready and able to step in when we ask.

     Supper hours, although they can feel more like zoos than  restaurants, don't have to be miserable.  Our attitude as moms probably determines 90% of the experience in the home. 

     So mom -- happy or not -- ask God to give you the heart to serve your family just one more hour with a smile on your face!  And if that man comes home late, warm up his plate and welcome him home.  Chances are he's had a hard day too!

"If any (mom) serves,

(she) should do it with

the strength God provides,

so that in ALL things

God may be praised."

I Peter 4:11



When Kids are Sick

     "Ohhhhhh, my head hurts . . . ohhhhh, my stomach aches . . . ohhhh, I need more ginger ale . . . ohhhh . . ."  The moans and demands continued to flow from the living room couch -- the location of our make-shift hospital.  Five nauseated kids later, mommy is more than a little worn down, but that is hard to avoid when kids are sick.

     A "normal" week usually demands that, as moms, we give almost everything we've got -- but add a few (or more) feverish, achy children to the mix, and it feels like we need to give MORE than we've got!  What's a mom to do? 

     1) Recognize that you only have to take ONE moment at a time -- don't try to imagine how many kids are going to catch what the first one has, or how many times THIS ONE is going to need you  -- you only HAVE TO DO what is required in each single breath of time.

     2) Remind yourself that you are not alone -- God has said that when we are weak, He will be strong for us, so tell Him you need Him to be that for you.

     3) Savour the fact that you are needed -- I know, "demanded of" might be more accurate, but regardless of the wording, these precious little ones (or bigger ones) put their hope in us to care for them.

     4) Look for as many ways as possible to simply life in every other area, so you can be focused at home -- it never ceases to amaze me how a previously full week can be emptied -- you can even say yes to pancakes for supper.

     5) Invest, invest, invest -- some of these "sick days" have become my favourite memories when I look back after my kids are healthy again -- although I may feel exhausted at the time, I take it as a perfect opportunity to invest in my kids: we snuggle lots, experience great books, create special snacks, and overall just be together. 

     A quote from Zig Ziglar says, "It is your attitude, not your aptitude, that determines your altitude."  Whether you are a professional "mommy nurse" or not, doesn't matter; pour out your tenderness on those sweet, indisposed loved ones, and remember whatever we do for the least of these, we do for God.

"Steadily, pouring yourselves

out for each other in acts

of love."

Ephesians 4:2

Nothing to Give



There it was again -- RING, RING -- the sound made me cringe.  Why did the phone have to ring again?  Was it not enough that five children seemed to constantly clamour for their voices to be heard?  Did I really have anything left to give?  I felt the knot in my shoulder tighten a little more and I wished I could find a hideaway somewhere amidst the noise and activity, even for five minutes alone!  ALONE -- that word seemed to deride me.  It mocked my desperate emotions that wanted to escape the swirling moment I was in.

I was at the end of my rope -- a place that had the scent of familiar, accompanied with a foreboding sense that I would have to go there again.  God, please show me how to live gracefully in these places, because I feel my sanity may escape me.

 I had nothing left to give.

There was the problem.

And therein was the solution.

Both the crisis and the answer wrapped up in one thought - in one breath of exhaustion.  I knew better than to think I could live this life in my own strength.  How many times had I come to this place before remembering where I needed to turn?

"God," I whispered, "You said that when I am weak, YOU will be strong."

"God," I called, a little louder, "You said that apart from YOU, I can do nothing.  And it's true, I've proven it again."

"God, meet me in this moment," I begged, "Come show me show to live IN this liveliness, not just how to escape it.  Come and fill me with YOU ~ your love, your grace, your abundance ~ so that I can rise above the heaviness I feel."

And then it came . . . still, small words of life, "Remain in me, and I will remain in you.  No (mom) can bear fruit by (herself); (she) must remain in the vine.  Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me."  (John 15:4) 

The phone rang again -- RING, RING -- this time the tone did not grate on me, but caused me to wonder who I would have the privilege of spending a moment with.  Maybe someone God was sending to encourage me.  One of my children came to me with a question -- I stopped and smiled into their eyes, and savoured the moment.  There was only one thing to do when I had nothing to give . . . go to the One who has everything I need!