NOT PROVERBS 31 AGAIN!!!!

     Any mom who's been around the "church block" a few times has probably heard of the Proverbs 31 woman -- some look to her for inspiration, some look to her with confusion and many look to her with disdain.  

     "Another way I don't measure up!!!"

     "Another list of things to do, when I can't even finish the one I have now!!!"

     "Another reminder of all the ways I've failed as a woman!!!"

     To these thoughts, and the many more that may race through your head, I want to stand up on the tip of the tallest building with a giant, red megaphone in hand and yell . . . 

     "NOOOOOO, don't believe those lies!  God's voice doesn't sound like discouragement; that's the enemy of our souls trying to get us to give up completely on doing this motherhood thing!"

     God's voice sounds like 
          VISION, 
               HOPE and 
                    LIFE!   


     The purposes embedded within the words of Proverbs 31 are meant to show us the direction God wants us to go (VISION), to show us that with God's help things will get easier (HOPE) and to show us that when we follow God's ways there is blessing (LIFE).

     Think about the Ten Commandments -- who can read that list and confidently call out, "Check, check, check, yep, I've kept all those!"?  We need to look at the dreaded Proverbs chapter in the same way -- it may be God's ultimate goal for us but He doesn't hold lists over our heads -- that's not how He works.  That's how the enemy works to twist God's truths and make us feel ashamed of what we yet are not!

     We know from many of the references found in Proverbs 31, that this woman doesn't fall into the category of an exhausted, new mom drowning in wet diapers; nor is she a young mom of toddlers making another round of PB&J . . . she's a woman with years of practice, training and experience under her belt.  Over years of walking with the Lord, she has found the ways to gain rest in God's presence and wisdom from His Word -- she is at the other end of this crazy ride called mothering, looking back.

     IF we keep pressing into God, someday we'll be there too; and by His grace alone, our children will "rise up and call us blessed", but for now they may just call us MOM.

     So take a few minutes to pick up your Bible tonight -- somewhere between changing over another load of dirty laundry and that midnight feeding that's still to come -- and look at the words that flow from Proverbs 31, fresh again.  The book of Isaiah says the Lord gently leads those that have young!  That's us, moms.  No extreme expectations, no ridiculous check lists -- He leads us gently!

"There has never been the slightest

doubt in my mind that the God who

started this great work in you would

keep at it and bring it to a flourishing

finish on the very day Christ Jesus appears."

Philippians 1:6   MSG

     P.S.  If you think another mom needs to hear this, please click "share" and pass it along...I'm praying for you!

    
   

Never Caught Up

     Have you ever felt overcome by a discouraging realization that, as moms, we will never truly be caught up?  Really, Mom, think through what we do in a given day . . .

• Laundry (clean in the morning, stained at night)
• Food (made 3 times a day, consumed 3 times a day)
• Cleaning (vacuumed/shined, messy/dirty)
• Bathing (clean in morning, filthy at night) 

     Are you crying into the sleeve of your shirt yet?  I hope not; I'm building up to some great truth, but in order to appreciate truth for what it is, we need to be in touch with the reality that surrounds us.

     For years, and I mean years, I fought, battled and struggled with my home (and sometimes family) in an effort to "catch up"!  In fact, sometimes I'd equate my life with Cinderella, just needing to get one more pile of things done for the day before I could go swirling out the figurative door to the ball.  

     When I finally BEGAN to accept that I'd never be caught up until my kids had grown and left home, I was blown away.  Is that really what these precious, crazy, wonderful years are about??? Waiting for it to be over???  Of course not!

     We only have two choices: either we embrace the fact that chaos and never-ending job lists are part and parcel with the most incredible stage of caring for our children and family, OR we wish this whole thing away and lose every blessing and precious moment that we have the opportunity to create right now!

     If it's put that way, I know which one I am jumping up and down to choose . . . my family!  But if we fail to see what we are tossing away when we let the ensuing waves of exhausting moments overwhelm us, we'll miss some of the best gifts God is trying to give us.

     So if you can; join me in accepting the reality that although we may not "catch up" for the next 20 years, we can choose today to embrace the joys around us!  Remember moms, none of us has to look further than our subdivision to find a woman who cries herself to sleep each night because she isn't able to have a child.  We're blessed, even if we are exhausted!

"Put your hope in God

who richly provides us

with everything for our

enjoyment."

I Timothy 6:17

The Shirt

     The playground was quiet and abandoned, but not for long, as the legs of my children flew at top speed to race for the swings and run for the slides.  Laughter rose into the air like bubbles on a summer's day, but the joy-filled moment wasn't to remain.

     Out of the corner playground gate meandered a little guy, probably only five years old, but his face was covered with a grizzly expression reminiscent of a tired old man.  He sidled over to the teeter-totters and made it known to two of my children that he had territorial rights to be in charge.  I started walking over to intervene when I noticed a woman step through the gate and call to the boy. 

     "Billy, whatcha doin'?" asked the somewhat disheveled mother.  A skull and cross bones screamed at the world from the front of her shirt, and words, not worth repeating, covered the back of it. 

     I cringed at what my eyes took in with the words, in the quick breath required to read it and then quickly gathered my composure and smiled, trying to make it genuine.

     "Nothing mom, just playing," her son backed off a little and looked for another area of which he could gain dominion.

     My natural self wanted to gather up my children like a mother hen takes her chicks under her feathers, and rush them home, but I felt to stay.  God may have a reason that two mothers were meeting on this sunny afternoon and I didn't feel it was time to walk away yet.

     I smiled again, this time a little bigger and more sure of myself . . . no - more sure of God and His presence with me.  The words of a Casting Crowns song began to flow through my head, and I knew God was there, prodding me in that moment.

     What this world needs, is for us to care more
     About the inside than the outside.
     Have we become so blind that we can't see ~
     God's gotta change her heart
     Before He changes her shirt...

     What this world needs is a Saviour who can rescue
     A Spirit who will lead
     A Father who will love them in their time of need...
     That's what this world needs.  

     The heart before the shirt -- how could I allow myself to be so struck by the shirt and have failed to recognize the woman wearing it?  The one in obvious need of encouragement and friendship. 

     "God," I whispered, "forgive me for judging and resisting to share your love with those you place in my path.  Even when it means my children have to be stretched too."

     Is this not what we are called to do?  Be salt and light in a dying world?

     Jesus didn't promise us it would be easy, but He DID promise He would be with us.

     May we look for ways to let God stretch us for the sake of the kingdom.  May we encourage our children to graciously overlook small offenses in order to see the bigger picture in front of them -- an opportunity to be "Jesus with skin on", to someone who may not know they are loved by a Heavenly Father.

"Don't just pretend to love others. 

Really love them. 

Hate what is wrong. 

Hold tightly to what is good."

Romans 12:9

Glad to Be a Mom

As I wiped up muddy footprints for the seemingly hundredth time today, I got to reflecting on the "joys" of motherhood. I am sure that if we could compare notes on some of those joys, our lists would look similar in many ways. There is no end to the regular chores of keeping up a home with small children underfoot; whether it is the heaping piles of laundry, the little voices that say they are hungry again, the toys that need to be cleared so we can see the carpet colour or just the hearts that need to be listened to. These things don't always sound like "joys" when they are listed but as we reflect on what they represent, they really are the greatest joys in life because they represent our children - muddy feet and all!

I am so glad that God allowed me to be a mom and called me to be home with these treasures, but there are many days that I need to remind myself why I am here. We know it is not for the money or the time it allows to pamper ourselves, but it is for something so much deeper, richer and eternal. I know that as I share each day with our children, I am investing in their hearts, their personalities and their lives. I am enjoying the privilege of shaping hearts that will be leaders in the next generation. I am getting to know my future best friends. I am training each of them to be, I trust, great husbands and wives, as well as moms and dads...in fact, my six year old recently said, "I am going to know how to be such a good mommy when I grow up, thanks for teaching me so many things mom."

You might notice that there seemed to be a listing of reasons happening above and that is exactly what it is - I decided to start listing "Reasons I am Glad I am a Mom" in the back of my journal. It came about because of muddy footprints and a desire to remind myself why I do what I do. It has been fun to look at all the reasons I have - there are a lot of them, but there are many moments when I can hardly remember any of them because of the strain of the moment. Someday I may even type the list out and post it somewhere, but for now it is just for me to add to and reflect on, during happy times and tired times. Get out a piece of paper (or spot in a journal) and a pen and brainstorm for even 3 minutes, you will be amazed how much you find - BUT be sure to wait till everyone is in bed or at least playing happily together, I am not sure how easily the list would form in those moments.

Lastly, be encouraged that all the hard work and efforts never go unnoticed - not by our Heavenly Father anyway. Ultimately, it is Him we are serving and He sees what is done and has promised an inheritance. Colossians 3:23 & 24 says, "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving."

Messes - What is a Mom to do?

There are so many images I could have chosen for this thought of "Messes - What is a Mom to do?" It does not take being a mom very long to realize that mess is part of the package that comes with kids, whether it be an exploding infant diaper, a baby with penaten cream in hand or a toddler with crayons...it just happens.

In choosing a photo to accompany these thoughts, I spent an enjoyable amount of time smiling and reminiscing on how many photos I had to chose from...the amazing thing is that I remember how hard I often had to try to "enjoy" the mess of the moment when it happened but as I thought back, it brought great joy to my heart instantly. HMMMM!

This photo does represent a current event with a fun story - someone, who will remain anonymous, decided to do some baking (which is a wonderful thing) and seeing that they were managing well, I stepped out of the way to let them have some independence. At the final stage of the recipe, I heard from the other room, "Boy, 1 cup of baking powder and half a cup of baking soda sure is a lot, isn't it, Mom?" I had a choice to make in an instant - how would I respond? This was childishness not foolishness, as the Ezzos so wisely teach, and I needed to step back and let my child fail gracefully. That is a lot to process in an instant, but after a short WHAT?, I recovered and held this person as they began to cry and recognize their mistake. I promised them that in the very near future they would laugh and someday it might be a favourite story - but for now we had some dough to dispose of and a new batch to make. "You mean you will let me try again?" YES - we all deserve a second chance and if you fall off a horse, you get right back on, I was taught. The next batch was a great success and not only was it enjoyed by our family for supper, there was enough to share with the neighbours, too.

So, where am I going with all this? Kids make mess - that is not rocket science if you are a parent, but how we respond takes mental focus and practice in preparedness. I remember back to my babies in dirt, toddlers in flour bins, little boys into face makeup just before church, little girls with nail polish on white carpet...and I used to think stories like that came from inattentive parents. No, those things happen faster than we can blink! That is just life with kids and what keeps us humble and very aware of our need for God's protection on our kids. So how do we prepare for these events?

First, we remind ourselves that we were kids once who made mistakes AND more importantly, we still make mistakes. This baking event was a perfect time to delve up an old story from my "learning to bake" days and help my child realize that perfection in the kitchen is not a realistic goal and neither is perfection in life. We are all on a journey of learning and need to learn how to laugh at mistakes we make.

Second, we need to recognize that it is our expectations of our children in the moment or even the day that make these times harder to deal with. If we know, and even expect, that there will likely be some "interruptions" that require our assistance they will be far easier to smile at.

Thirdly, we ask God for strength in the millisecond we have to process with, that we can make the moment a special memory with our child and not a bitter regret ~ Our kids truly need our affirmation and love at these moments. When I look back on these events, I don't usually remember where I was going or what I needed to do, that made the "mess" so inconvenient - I remember the sweetness of the accident and the innocence of the one who was just doing what kids do - being kids.

The old saying is so true, "They are only young once". May we be found full of patience and abounding in love, ready to face whatever the moments are about to bring. For we know that God will use it to work a deeper work in our lives, IF we will let Him.

James 1 says it best, "Consider it PURE JOY, my (sisters), whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."