HOORAY FOR WEAKNESS

 

     You've sat in one of those groups of moms, haven't you?  You know, the circle of chatting women who are sharing the heroics of their perfect kids, modeling the perfect hair-do, while all you seem to be able to pull off is trying to subtly check your breath to see if you remembered to brush your teeth before staggering out the door this morning?

     I've been there.  In fact, I own a few different sizes of that t-shirt, because you know what?  Life can be hard as a mom.

     Every stage of mothering brings new challenges that we've never been through.

     Every child brings new difficulties that we've never faced.

     Every day has problems of its own.

     So...do you want to know how to conquer the emotions of those circles of seemingly "perfect" women?  Do you want to know the secret of silencing the lies that whisper, no SCREAM, in your ears on those hard days?  You need to say HOORAY FOR MY WEAKNESS!

     I don't give this advice lightly.  In fact, it's taken me a long time to reach the point of confidence in my own weaknesses to say this.  And, it's not just my own opinion; it's actually biblical.

     Paul, the "super-apostle" of the New Testament, experienced an epiphany moment with God of this very same nature, in II Corinthians 12:9.  Look at the conversation that occurred between God and Paul...
      "But He (God) said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect in weakness.'  Therefore I (Paul) will BOAST all the more gladly about my WEAKNESSES, so that Christ's power may rest on me."


     Do you hear Paul's determination swelling as the excitement in his heart grows?  He got it!  And as moms, we need to get it!

     God will rush to our side, bringing His awesome power to our situations when we are, ultimately, bragging about our failures and struggles...not when we are touting about the greatness of ourselves or our children.


     Be honest with yourself -- who do you enjoy hanging out with more?  The mom who tells you how you too can "have it all together" if you just do X, Y & Z, OR the mom who shares with a humble smile how she forgot to pick up her child from the bus stop three afternoons this week?  It's a no-brainer, we all find safety in the honest, real mom.

     We all have strengths and weaknesses; and both are needed in our homes, our marriages and our friendships.  Share from your strength in gentle ways to help a friend, but be equally willing to let your hair hang down - long and shaggy - and be real about your weaknesses.  You may be amazed at the doors that will open, the lies that will stop pounding in your head and the joy that will return to your steps.

     You are an AWESOME mom!  You are the one God chose for your children!  You have what it takes IF you combine it with God's amazing power as you say HOORAY for weakness today.

"If I must boast, I will

boast of the things that show 

my WEAKNESS."

II Corinthians 11:30

A DEADLY LIE

     So many lies are being served up to us daily on a silver platter -- they look tantalizing, they sound convincing and seem so real!

  We lift the lid and indulge; then wonder later why we're battling unwelcome thoughts in our hearts and minds.

     Certain lies appear innocent enough in the moment, but once they slip in the back door, it's hard to control where they roam.

     If we were sitting on my couch, sipping tea this afternoon, and I asked you what you felt was one of the most deadly lies, what would you say?

     I know what I would say...I would look you in the eyes and tell you, "One of the most deadly lies is the lie that your situation at hand doesn't have any hope!"

     In our heads, it's so easy to say, Sure, I know there's hope.  But it's not just our heads that the enemy is targeting and sometimes it's harder to convince our hearts!

     Maybe the lies seems silly, like; "There's no hope...this baby is NEVER going to sleep through the night."  I say silly only because we all know in our heads that eventually this baby won't be a baby and of course, they will sleep through the night, but...it FEELS hopeless in the moment, doesn't it?

     What about a lie, like; "There's no hope...this toddler is NEVER going to master potty training."  Again, we know in our heads that eventually this toddler will be able to use the toilet because it's part of growing up, but...it can FEEL utterly impossible in that stage, can't it?

     Then there's the more serious lies, like; "There's no hope...my husband's the way he is and it will never change.  Marriage is NEVER going to get better."  Depending on the challenges you face, that can feel like a very real possibility, and we can be completely unsure of how things could change, and...it FEELS like nothing will ever improve, doesn't it?

     If you go back and scan the three examples above what two words do you see each time?
          1) NEVER
          2) FEELS

     Do you know why it's so important to recognize those two words?  Because they are the key that unlocks the door from our head to our heart for the deadly lie of hopelessness.  

     When we hear ourselves thinking "never" and evaluating our momentary circumstances based on how we "feel" that should be like a flashing, red warning light!  "Emergency, emergency; we are determining our future based on what we see and feel, not on what God says!!!"

     We can't see what's around the corner!  We don't know what God's about to do!  We have no idea how things can turn out IF we give them over to God!

     He's the One who gets to write the endings and His Word promises us that...

•  In ALL things God works for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28)
• God will be with us in trouble and deliver us (Psalm 91:15)
• God's plans are to prosper us and give us a hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11)

   
     Reflect on the areas that are causing you stress or concern -- babies, money, teenagers -- whatever it is, God is MORE than able to write the ending, but we have a part to play.  We have to give these areas over to the Lord and ask Him to be in charge.  Once we commit our ways to Him, He is freed up to work in very real, intimate ways in our lives, but He won't push His way in, He's waiting to be asked, trusted and invited.

     Don't buy the deadly lie that there is NO HOPE!  There's always hope when God is invited into the middle of our worlds!  Go to the Bible, dig for the truth that applies to your personal situation of hopeless feelings and smother it in God's truth.  Hold it tight and don't let go -- you have no idea what's just around the corner!

"You will KNOW the TRUTH

and the TRUTH WILL set you free!"

John 8:32

Dark Whispers

     We look at those sticky, gooey faces of our children -- especially in the pictures after the mess has been cleaned up -- and we reflect on how much we love our kids.  In fact, if they are in bed asleep, we may even feel the extreme emotions that make our hearts feel like they will swell to the point of bursting. 

     Those are the moments we realize that no matter what it takes, we want the best for our children!

     There is only one problem . . . even though we want the best for our children and we know God wants the best for our children, there is someone out there who doesn't . . . the enemy.  The one who, the Bible says, "Prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour." (I Peter 5:8)  We are also told in God's Word that the enemy came to steal, kill and destroy -- BUT this should not cause us to feel afraid -- not for a minute.  God gave us this information so we would be alert and prepared to deal with the battle that exists around our lives, our homes and our children's lives.

     Have you noticed there are times when it seems you can watch the enemy at work in our children's lives?

     Our children can be skipping through the bright, green grass, swinging their outstretched arms and within moments their demeanor seems to change.  It may be a frown replaces their big grin, or a nasty comment slides out of their mouth, or even a cheerful conversation turns suddenly sour -- the enemy tries to steal those sweet times with his dark whispers.

     We've heard one of our children say, "I'm so stupid," and all he was doing was dangling his legs in the air, while seated on a tree branch.  Having NEVER heard those words before, we inquired why he would say such a thing.  His answer was simple -- "I was just sitting there and the thought came into my head."  That is a pretty innocent example, and I realize it is very subjective, but when you see things like that play out in various situations in the way our children's thoughts are affected and their thinking is obscured, it should make us sit up a little more vigilant.

     God, who loves us 100%, would not have gone to the effort of warning us over and over to be on guard against the enemy and his schemes if they were not a serious threat to ourselves and our children.  Yet that should not cause fear, it has to be seen as a problem with a solution.  So, what is the solution?

     Be alert - watch for where our kids are susceptible to the "dark whispers" of the enemy and strengthen their walls and fill in their cracks with our battle prayers, our encouraging words and our passionate love.  If there is a reoccurring lie that you see them battling, fight it with all you've got!

     Watch for the times the climate seems to shift at home and ask God to show us how to pray for our kids and process with our kids. 

     I remember one time we were driving to the library and I was at complete odds with one of our children but it didn't even make sense why -- it felt like their heart was a million miles away from me.  So I started to silently pray . . .
     God, I don't know what is going on in this child's heart, but you do.
     I know the enemy wants to tear apart our relationship but Your Word says that we are to be at peace with one another.
     I put on the full armour of God and take my stand against the devil's schemes.
     Lord Jesus, come into this place and change this situation.

     Do you know that afternoon trip to the library turned around 180 degrees? 

     It wasn't anything eloquent I said to my child or something fantastic I did, but God showed up in our day and destroyed the "dark whispers" with His might.  God's power blew away the cobwebs of confusion and darkness and brought His light.

     Don't let your children suffer with whispers that bring darkness -- not when God has given us all that we need to stand on their behalf and help them fight for truth and light.  Never give up -- we may be the only ones who are aware of the battle they are facing in their minds and if we don't fight on their behalf, who will?

"His divine power has given

us EVERYTHING we need

for life and godliness through

our knowledge of Him."

II Peter 1:3



Selfish Tendencies

Have you ever noticed that some of the biggest battles we face seem to stem from our tendencies towards selfishness?  We want a clean house, but it has been such a long day we feel like we just deserve to put our feet up...we want children who are well behaved, but we just can't imagine having to discipline the same child again...we want our husbands to feel loved, but we just don't want to excuse the fact that it is the third time this week they missed dinner...and on and on it can go.

Not too many roles in life demand a 24 / 7 giving out without guarantee of getting much back, but being a wife and a mother sure can.  It is so easy in this culture to justify our selfish tendencies too.  I don't have to look far at all to find someone who will tell me I work too hard and should take a break, or that I deserve to let my husband carry more of the load, or I should get out more alone.  That is the message I feel I must battle against in the world around me and in my mind.  The danger is, that if we let our guard down - we will begin to believe these messages.  Yes, there is required balance in life and yes, it is good when our spouses pitch in - BUT it is also a sacrifice to be a great wife and a great mom and it will take us to the point of being greatly stretched.

Philippians 2:3-7 says, "Do NOTHING out of selfish ambition...look not only to your own interests but also to the interests of others...Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:  Who...made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant."   That lays out quite clearly the sacrifice we are called to no matter what our role is...there really aren't any excuses for focusing on ourselves.  I have found the more I focus on the needs of others around me and serving them, the less I feel the need for "self" to be satisfied.

I am not saying that no wife or mom should even have a break, please don't misinterpret me.  I am saying that the message we hear everywhere we go is that we deserve...we deserve...we deserve... and if we are not hearing it from those around us, you can be sure the enemy will be whispering it in our ear sooner than later. 

So how do we fight it?  We can first ask the Lord to help us honestly examine our lives and how much we are "doing" for ourselves - in the big picture of a week or month, are we expecting more "breaks" on evenings or weekends, than even our husbands?  Next, we need to take the thoughts captive in our minds that tell us we deserve...and make them obedient to Christ.  That simply means when we start to feel frustrated for what we are not getting / where we are not going / what we are missing out on ... just stop those thoughts and say, "I am not going to allow myself to think that way - God, you have given me everything I need and I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.  I refuse to be discouraged, to feel sorry for myself or to wallow in self-pity.  I choose to focus on ________, _________, _________, (these things you have blessed me with) and not the things I want to have or do.  In Jesus powerful name, Amen."

May you learn to fight selfish tendencies with the servant model of Christ and just wait and see what great blessings God has planned for your life and home.