Standing Up Stones

In the Bible, found in the first few chapters of Joshua, we are given an account of a great leader, whose name was Joshua.  He and all his people, the Israelites, were about to cross into the Promised Land.  It is important to remember that this was something they had waited 40 years for - it was a long time coming - and in order to finally reach this promised destination, it meant crossing a river.  Not just any river but the Jordan River (a very large one), and not just that river, but the timing of their crossing placed them there during flood season.  Isn't that so often God's way?  In order for us to recognize that it is Him and not us, He does the impossible using the most difficult circumstances.

The short version of this true story, is that the Israelites crossed over on DRY GROUND - God stopped the waters and allowed an estimated 2 million people to cross (this is 40 years after crossing the Red Sea on dry ground, so most of them would have only heard those stories from their ancestors about that miracle - now God was giving them their own, first hand taste of His glory).  Then God told them to do a strange thing - He told the priests to go back in the river and pick up 12 big stones and carry them to the place where they were staying that night. 

Two things stand out to me when I read the directive God gave them: One ~ it was an unusual thing to have to do and, Two ~ it was not convenient.  But that is often true when God speaks, isn't it?  It may not be the usual request we would expect and it is often not convenient.  But they obeyed and when they reached the other side, they set up the stones as God had commanded.  They were told, as it says in Joshua 4, that these stones were a symbol of their deliverance.  In verse 6 it says the stones were, "To serve as a sign among you.  In the future, when your children ask you, 'What do these stones mean?' tell them that the flow of the Jordan was cut off before the ark of the covenant...these stones are to be a memorial to the people of Israel forever."

So, where am I going with this in how it applies to you and I?  First, if you feel God has laid something on your heart but it seems unusual, don't brush it off quickly - ask God to confirm it for you and then do what you feel He is asking of you.  Second, you need to know that it will likely not be convenient or easy to do, and if it seems beyond your natural capacity, that may be good assurance that God is very much in it.  Third, be actively watching for ways to place memorials in your life and the lives of your children.  Look for tangible objects (not statues, but reminders) that speak to God's faithfulness.  Tell your children the stories of how God has met a need, rescued you from danger, spoken to your heart - there aren't any storybooks that will stir your children's hearts deeper than your own "God stories", while creating longing for their own stories.  You don't feel like you have those yet?  Then ask the Lord to start creating opportunities to see Him move - I promise He will!

Looking to the Future

How do you feel when you look to the future and what lies ahead for your family?  It may depend on how far you attempt to see, but what emotions surface first when you read that question about the future?  Is it anticipation?  Is it fear?  Is it excitement?  Is it dread?  It is important to know how we look to the future, because thoughts can simmer below the surface and affect how we deal with parenting in the present, either in positive or negative ways.  Allow me to illustrate.

If I were to look to the future with fear and dread, concerned that my 4 year old could become a rebellious teenager, how am I going to parent him now?  It will be out of unhealthy fear and possibly a desire to control his immature behaviour instead of a desire to shape and mold his heart.  Now, if I take that same 4 year old, but instead find my thoughts centered around looking to the future with anticipation and excitement for all that God has planned for him, what changes in me as a parent?  I gain the perspective that, although knowing there will be failures and bumps along the way, God has His hand on my 4 year old and I don't need to fear the future.  It suddenly sets me free to really enjoy these young years and trust the Lord with the years to come. 

Maybe that seems to obvious or simple, but I know from personal experience that the enemy is very subtle in the way he plants thoughts of worry in our minds.  It may be when we hear of a friend's teen becoming pregnant out of wedlock, or another who has been arrested.  It could be when we think back to our teen years and some of the mistakes we made, realizing desperately that we want to keep our kids from that same path.  Regardless of where the worry might come from, it is so important to take hold of all that we find weighing us down and GET RID OF IT!

How, you might ask?  Or, I have tried and it comes back?  The HOW is that we CHOOSE to give anything and everything that causes us concern and worry, over to God.  I Peter 5:7, in the Amplified version, says, "Casting the whole of your care (all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns, once and for all) on Him, for He cares for you affectionately and cares about you watchfully." Casting, as we have said before, means throwing it far from us and not taking it back - saying out loud if needed, "God, I have been worrying about ___________ and   ___________ and  ______________, but I know that these are not my burdens to carry.  You have said that You care for me and that I need to give these cares to You.  So right now, even though I am tempted to worry about these things, I choose to leave it in Your hands and rest in You.  Thank you for caring for me, in Jesus' name, Amen."

What if you have done that and the worry still comes back?  Well, of course it does!  The enemy tempted you before to worry about those things and it worked, so why wouldn't he try again?  Take Philippians 4:6&7, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which trancends all understanding, will guard  your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."  Know that once you have given these worries to God, thank Him that He is in control, look to the future with your trust in Him and let His peace guard your heart and mind.

Loving the Clutter We Can't Change

It will never cease to amaze me how a tidy home can turn upside down within minutes or hours of time.  It may be returning from an overnight adventure or just coming home from church, but with seven or more in our home at any given time, it happens fast.  Yes, we are training our children to be tidy and No, they have not yet arrived.  Regardless of tidy or not, sometimes life just requires that there is mess and disorder.

A while ago, I shared about Clean Stables (http://www.myheartathome.com/2010/06/letting-go-of-clean-stable.html) and how if we are going to reap a harvest of abundance we need to accept some mess.  I don't want to reiterate that here, but I do want to build on some of those thoughts.  There are so many times that I find myself sliding down a slippery slope of "if only"...If only I could get the living room cleaned up I would be able to relax...If only I could get my preschoolers to sleep I will have some time to regroup...If only I...  You get the idea - when I am not careful, and especially when I am tired, the "if only's" can take over my thinking.  I don't want to live this life for the few moments of peace and quiet I might be able to find - I want to live for all of it, mess and all!

I don't believe God meant for us to live our days as moms (or in any other role, for that matter) looking to the "if only's".  He has blessed us, equipped us and placed us in the here and now for a purpose and a reason.  If we spend our time looking to other things, we will greatly miss what He is trying to do in our midst and the good things we have already been blessed with.  Remember, it is not by our strength - II Peter 1:3 says, "HIS divine power has given us EVERYTHING we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and goodness."

The other day I was looking mournfully into our very small closet in our mudroom, wishing when we had built the house we had understood how many pairs of shoes would have to fit in there someday.  As I sorted through them (again), I caught myself thinking, "Well, when my 11 year old out grows these, I will save them for my 8 year old, but when the 6 year old grows these ones out, the 4 year old won't wear them so I can get rid of them.  As for the sandals, I could probably..."  And on and on it went as I tried to bring order to running shoes, dress shoes, sandals, etc for seven people.  I stopped myself midway and thought how pathetic is this?  I am wishing the life I love away, because of clutter that will not go away.  I don't want to do that. 

Later on, as I shared this with a sweet friend, she told me I reminded her of a country song she liked, called "You're Gonna Miss This".  Since I hadn't heard of that one, I searched the title and was so touched by the lyrics...  The chorus says:
      You're gonna miss this, you're gonna want this back,
      You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast,
      These are some good times, so take a good look around,
      You may not know it now, but you're gonna miss this.

Everything within me resonated "YES - this is so true!"  I found the rest of my evening and the day following, mentally occupied reviewing so many of the joys I have seen come and go already, especially from the baby and toddler years, that I will never get back.  What great perspective came again, not for the first time, but refreshed again at a deeper level.  When Moses told us in Psalm 90 to, "Number our days that we may gain a heart of wisdom", I believe this is one of the deposits of that wisdom. 

We can't wish the trials of life away, we can't want days to pass quickly because we are tired or kids are sick - yes, they are hard and yes, we feel stretched, but God has promised it will NEVER be beyond what He knows we can handle.  He happens to think a lot of you and me because there are many, many times I have been sure I was beyond what I felt capable of. But I wasn't - I have more than survived thus far, and with memories that make me want to more LOVE THE CLUTTER that I can't change.  This is life - life at its fullest, richest and best!  Thank you God for the blessings all around me - even if they happen to be buried beneath clutter.
 

Clearing Up the Clutter

As a mom, I have found a consistent connection with kids and clutter - my children can go along quite well for a good amount of time, keeping their rooms clean and then they seem to hit a wall!  The wall is not that they don't want to clean anymore, it is that they don't know how to clean with all the pieces that have added up.  They become overwhelmed with clutter and require "mom" to come alongside and help them sort through the pieces.  I have to admit this is not one of my favourite tasks, as I feel that once it is done, it should last for at least a year or two, but that is just not the case.  I find each of my children, especially the younger ones, are usually good for a season or a bit longer but then they need help.  So, how does this relate to us as moms?

I have been pondering that the clutter my kids have to deal with in their closets is very similar to the clutter I have to deal with in my own heart and life.  I take time in the Word and with the Lord and can go along for quite a while with God surfacing areas I need to work on or repent of, but at some point - often after a season or two has gone by, I find I hit a wall of sorts.  I have come to realize that I need people in my life who are a few steps ahead of me, either in journey or in Christian maturity and I need to ask them to sit and help me declutter my heart.  I have heard some describe this need in their own lives but then feel badly that they are not "far along enough" to deal with it on their own.  DON'T EVER let the enemy make you feel that way.  God did not design us to walk alone, fight alone or mature alone - we have to have the help of those He has placed in our lives.  This may mean choosing someone that is not going to provide sympathy, though - the people I have sought out have always been the ones I know will not let me be content with where I am at and will be honest with me even if it hurts.  Remember what Solomon says in Proverbs 27:6, "Wounds from a friend can be trusted."

I just want to encourage you to be open with someone you respect and trust, and ask them to honestly speak into your life and help process the clutter you may be facing.  If you are not sure who that person is, ask the Lord to show you who you is safe to share with.   He is faithful as we journey along, working through clutter and all!

Low Quality World

Have you noticed lately that we live in a low quality world?  The goal seems to be to pump out the best looking merchandise, at the lowest quality, for the cheapest price.  I am finding it more and more discouraging, as it seems to affect all areas of our life.  I go through approximately one hand mixer each year, our fridge needed to be repaired three times in the first year it was new, our 4 year old van has rust spots all over it - it seems never ending.  My intent is not for this to be a rant, but rather a springboard from which to share what is on my heart. 

When our fridge needed its third repair, I remember chatting with man who was sent to fix it.  I was in the kitchen as he worked and asked him this question, "How is it possible that a new fridge can need to be repaired so many times?"  I remember his answer well - he shoulders seemed to sag as he looked at me and said, "Because that is all people want to pay for.  If the truth were known, we now have the technology to build a fridge of such quality that it would last 100 years, but the companies don't want to produce them."  His answer surprised me - it made me sad to think that we live in such a disposable society, but something else makes me far more sad.  We, as Christians, often try to live to the same standard - low quality.  Oh sure, we go to church and read our bibles and pray, but when no one is looking - how much do we strive to be of the highest quality? 

We live in a generation that expects very little from themselves, but still much from others.  I have met many people that live a double standard; they want those around them to be completely honest, very generous, consistently kind and yet in their own lives they don't feel it necessary to put out the effort to be all that to others in their lives.  God, through His Word, calls us to a high standard of quality in our own lives, and even though the world around us may promote a lower quality as acceptable, they are not the ones we should look to for the standard.

In I Corinthians 3, Paul tells us the standard our lives will be measured, "Each one should be careful how he builds...his work will be shown for what it is, because the Day will bring it to light.  It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the QUALITY of each man's work.  If what he has built survives, he will receive his reward.  If it is burned up, he will suffer loss; he himself will be saved, but only as one escaping through the flames."  There is a lot packed into those few verses and it comes with very specific instruction that we can apply, let's take a look.

First, we need to be careful.  Carefulness almost always speaks to quality and something done well; it says we have taken time to be sure that what we are doing is done the best we can do. When I function carefully, I benefit in the long run and everyone else that is connected to me will benefit too.  It also sets an example that may motivate my family or friends to want to reach for quality, as well.

Second, our work will be shown for what it is.  This means even though we might get away with less or short cuts for a while, in the the end it will come to light.  We can't take the easy way out and expect to produce great things in our lives.  When I think of devotionals that imply "1 Minute in the Word" or "Quick Thoughts for Busy People", they make me sad - those things may have their place in the first month of having a new baby or settling into a new stage of life BUT they are not what will help long term, to truly grow quality in our lives.  We have to be digging into the Word of God and pouring time into growing in Christ, this is what will shape our values for how we function with quality work in our lives.

Third, fire will test the quality of our work.  I don't know about you, but I don't like being tested to see if I am good at something or have done it well.  But the Word is clear that there will come a point that we will find out if what we have invested our lives in has been of high quality and value.  Whenever that day comes, I want to be sure that what I have poured my time, energy, money and passion into come out shining not disintegrating!

Lastly, there is grace extended but we will just make it.  Remember Jesus was very clear that it is by grace we are saved and not by works so that none of us can boast (Ephesians 2:8&9) .  That means it will not be the quality of what we have done that will guarantee our eternity, but the GRACE of God.  Having said that, when I am standing before my Creator and the Maker of all things - I want to be there knowing I have done my best - not covered in soot just barely making it out of a fire with nothing in my hands to show for it.

Let's face it - we all have days, weeks and even months where we may feel we are just getting by, or just going through the motions, but that is not where we should be content to stay.  We need to be pressing into God and His Word, asking for the truth to apply to our lives, so that we might produce quality for His purposes.  We will be eternally glad that we used our abilities to be of the best quality we can be in a world that tells us low quality is okay.

Treasure the Treasures

Does it ever amaze you how many treasures our young children can give us in a day?  If I had been able to keep every drawing, rock, flower, picture and treasure of every kind that I have been blessed with, times five children, I can't imagine how massive the pile would be.  I still get a thrill out of hearing those sweet words of, "Mommy, I made this just for you."  It makes me feel so blessed to be thought of.

In the same way, as I was reading the story of "The Widow's Mite" in Mark 12, I was reminded of what impressed Jesus the most that day He was at the temple.  It was not the wealthy men who dropped large amounts of "cash" into the offerings, but the woman who gave two copper coins.  Jesus spoke so highly of her gift and praised her giving with His disciples because she gave everything she had. 

I feel that when my children and your children take time from their day and work to create something very special - it needs to be treasured so carefully.  Those "treasures" are often given at the busiest times of the day - it may be the supper preparation rush or the time they were to get into bed, but regardless it is usually done with a heart that is giving from all they have.  I know there will come a day (and it has already started) that I look back on the treasures I have filed and saved, and realize that I should have taken more time to recognize the value of those treasures.  Some of the hardest gifts to welcome are the ones that come with dirt on the floor, or bugs in the center of the flowers - but does it really matter? 

I ask this question of myself more than I ask it of you - in the light of the big picture of life - can I not, can we not, take a long moment and treasure the treasure of the little person who thinks the world of us, and has given us a treasure from everything they have?  We are so blessed!

Selfish Tendencies

Have you ever noticed that some of the biggest battles we face seem to stem from our tendencies towards selfishness?  We want a clean house, but it has been such a long day we feel like we just deserve to put our feet up...we want children who are well behaved, but we just can't imagine having to discipline the same child again...we want our husbands to feel loved, but we just don't want to excuse the fact that it is the third time this week they missed dinner...and on and on it can go.

Not too many roles in life demand a 24 / 7 giving out without guarantee of getting much back, but being a wife and a mother sure can.  It is so easy in this culture to justify our selfish tendencies too.  I don't have to look far at all to find someone who will tell me I work too hard and should take a break, or that I deserve to let my husband carry more of the load, or I should get out more alone.  That is the message I feel I must battle against in the world around me and in my mind.  The danger is, that if we let our guard down - we will begin to believe these messages.  Yes, there is required balance in life and yes, it is good when our spouses pitch in - BUT it is also a sacrifice to be a great wife and a great mom and it will take us to the point of being greatly stretched.

Philippians 2:3-7 says, "Do NOTHING out of selfish ambition...look not only to your own interests but also to the interests of others...Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:  Who...made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant."   That lays out quite clearly the sacrifice we are called to no matter what our role is...there really aren't any excuses for focusing on ourselves.  I have found the more I focus on the needs of others around me and serving them, the less I feel the need for "self" to be satisfied.

I am not saying that no wife or mom should even have a break, please don't misinterpret me.  I am saying that the message we hear everywhere we go is that we deserve...we deserve...we deserve... and if we are not hearing it from those around us, you can be sure the enemy will be whispering it in our ear sooner than later. 

So how do we fight it?  We can first ask the Lord to help us honestly examine our lives and how much we are "doing" for ourselves - in the big picture of a week or month, are we expecting more "breaks" on evenings or weekends, than even our husbands?  Next, we need to take the thoughts captive in our minds that tell us we deserve...and make them obedient to Christ.  That simply means when we start to feel frustrated for what we are not getting / where we are not going / what we are missing out on ... just stop those thoughts and say, "I am not going to allow myself to think that way - God, you have given me everything I need and I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.  I refuse to be discouraged, to feel sorry for myself or to wallow in self-pity.  I choose to focus on ________, _________, _________, (these things you have blessed me with) and not the things I want to have or do.  In Jesus powerful name, Amen."

May you learn to fight selfish tendencies with the servant model of Christ and just wait and see what great blessings God has planned for your life and home.