The Shirt

     The playground was quiet and abandoned, but not for long, as the legs of my children flew at top speed to race for the swings and run for the slides.  Laughter rose into the air like bubbles on a summer's day, but the joy-filled moment wasn't to remain.

     Out of the corner playground gate meandered a little guy, probably only five years old, but his face was covered with a grizzly expression reminiscent of a tired old man.  He sidled over to the teeter-totters and made it known to two of my children that he had territorial rights to be in charge.  I started walking over to intervene when I noticed a woman step through the gate and call to the boy. 

     "Billy, whatcha doin'?" asked the somewhat disheveled mother.  A skull and cross bones screamed at the world from the front of her shirt, and words, not worth repeating, covered the back of it. 

     I cringed at what my eyes took in with the words, in the quick breath required to read it and then quickly gathered my composure and smiled, trying to make it genuine.

     "Nothing mom, just playing," her son backed off a little and looked for another area of which he could gain dominion.

     My natural self wanted to gather up my children like a mother hen takes her chicks under her feathers, and rush them home, but I felt to stay.  God may have a reason that two mothers were meeting on this sunny afternoon and I didn't feel it was time to walk away yet.

     I smiled again, this time a little bigger and more sure of myself . . . no - more sure of God and His presence with me.  The words of a Casting Crowns song began to flow through my head, and I knew God was there, prodding me in that moment.

     What this world needs, is for us to care more
     About the inside than the outside.
     Have we become so blind that we can't see ~
     God's gotta change her heart
     Before He changes her shirt...

     What this world needs is a Saviour who can rescue
     A Spirit who will lead
     A Father who will love them in their time of need...
     That's what this world needs.  

     The heart before the shirt -- how could I allow myself to be so struck by the shirt and have failed to recognize the woman wearing it?  The one in obvious need of encouragement and friendship. 

     "God," I whispered, "forgive me for judging and resisting to share your love with those you place in my path.  Even when it means my children have to be stretched too."

     Is this not what we are called to do?  Be salt and light in a dying world?

     Jesus didn't promise us it would be easy, but He DID promise He would be with us.

     May we look for ways to let God stretch us for the sake of the kingdom.  May we encourage our children to graciously overlook small offenses in order to see the bigger picture in front of them -- an opportunity to be "Jesus with skin on", to someone who may not know they are loved by a Heavenly Father.

"Don't just pretend to love others. 

Really love them. 

Hate what is wrong. 

Hold tightly to what is good."

Romans 12:9

Don't Stop the Stories

    

     We crack open the bent, tender pages of the Children's Bible.  We flip and scour searching for the favourite story of old - again!  Then the page falls open to the "hoped for story" and  I feel the legs of my child quiver with excitement under the blankets as we begin to read . . .

     When the music plays, everyone must bow down and worship the statue.  Those who disobey will be thrown into the fiery furnace.

     "You know what, Mom?"  His sweet face turns up towards mine.

     "What's that?" I ask, as I stroke the blond hairs away from his forehead.

     "I wouldn't bow down!  If that was me, I would say, 'Put me in that hot furnace'."  The firmness of expression is locked on his small face.

     His words are spoken with such seriousness and passion that my heart swells with pleasure as I simultaneously stifle a smile.  I don't want to break the solemness of the spoken commitment of the moment.

     This, I think to myself, is why we read God's truths each night and not fairy tales.  This is why I will not stop the telling of God's truths through stories with my children.

    We don't know what the future holds for the next generation, but God does.  We don't know what our children will need in order to be equipped for the challenges they will face, but God does. 

     It is God and His Word that will summon our children to higher levels.

     The only way I know to fully arm our children with the tools and knowledge they will require, is through a deep understanding of God and His Word.  And the only way they will grow in that is to begin now and not stop the stories.

     Don't stop the stories until your sweet ones are able to pursue God passionately on their own -- until then, our highest priority is not ABC's or 123's, but God and His truths found in His Word.

"God's Word goes on and on forever.

This is the Word that conceived

the new life in you."

I Peter 1:25

As Though They Were

     The numbers roll off her tongue like raindrops on a windowpane - fast and furious.  "Two plus two is four.  Four plus four is eight.  Eight plus eight is sixteen.  Sixteen plus . . . "  On and on the numbers increase, continuing into the hundreds.  It isn't unusual except that she's only six years old, and she's ours. 

     We encourage and applaud.  We are amazed.

     This, in turn, means that she tries even harder to say them faster and learn them farther.  This makes me wonder -- Does she do this so well because we encourage or because she would anyway?

     I don't know the answer.  But I do know that almost anyone will run fatster or jump higher when they are spurred on by the sounds of a cheering crowd in the stands as opposed to silence, but is that what brings the success?  Beyond math facts, what about the rest of life that spreads out before our children?

    My mind races to remember where that verse is in the Bible -- the one that says what God speaks over us.  Oh yes, Romans 4:17.  It says that, "God...calls things that are not as though they were."

     I think of the achievements and failures in my own life and I'm thankful that God calls things in my life that are not as though they are.  I'm relieved that someone believes in my future when I don't.

     If this is what God does for us, then would it not be what we are called to do for our children?  Speak blessing into their future, whether we see the tangible evidence in front of us or not.

     Would you rather aim high in life when someone is whispering in your ear that you CAN do it or when a brash voice is pointing a execrative finger at where you failed again? 

     It doesn't mean we never correct our children and their poor or wrong behaviour.  No, that must be done so that they can be taught to learn from their mistakes.  BUT, what are the words they hear during the other 23 hours in the day? 

     "I am so proud of you for helping your sister fix her toy." 
                               OR
     "Why didn't you clean the mess that you and your sister left?"

     "You are doing a great job being careful not to interrupt conversations."
                               OR
     "Why did you keep tugging on my arm when I was talking?"

     "Thanks for speaking gently to your brother this morning."
                                OR
     "Why couldn't you be nicer to your brother?"


     You see, I've learned a few things about myself as a parent:

1. I tend to see what is out of order, before I appreciate what is in order
2. I am more likely to point out what I want to see changed than what I like
3. I would be more tempted to speak a criticism than a blessing

     Why would I confess these sad realities about my parenting to you?  Because every day I am reminded that I have two ways of looking at the relationships that I am blessed to be surrounded by -- either I will see the negative and speak the continuation of the same in my loved one's lives, OR I will look for the positive and speak with a mouth of hope towards those I love, just as God does for me.

    I want taste honey when I lick my lips, not vinegar. 

    I must evaluate the words that sit on my tongue BEFORE I let them escape, not after.  The same lesson I continue to instruct my children with applies to me -- think before you speak.  If I can look for and find the good, it needs to be given a voice.  And if I can't find the good, then I need to speak with hope -- to call those things that aren't as though they were.

"For in hope we were saved.

Now hope that is seen is not hope,

because who hopes for what he sees?

But if we hope for what we do not see,

we eagerly wait for it with endurance."

Romans 8:24 & 25

Wherever You Are...

     The pink Blackberry rang with its shrill sound and the manicured finger tapped the talk button then pressed the phone to her diamond studded ear.  This had to be the fifth phone call in the last half hour at the poolside.  Her children's wet faces scrunched slightly and disappointment seemed to spread over the sunshine on their faces.  Did this mother not see what she was missing?

     The laptop was open at the picnic table and the man typed furiously over the keys, while his wife and children played in the nearby grass with a checkered soccer ball.  "Watch this, Dad!"  And the younger boy, tousled brown hair half covering his eyes, kicked the ball as hard as he could.  "Good, son," was all that the dad offered, but because he failed to glance up, it stole the moment of joy from his sweet son.

     Jim Eliot once said, "Wherever you are, be all there..."  And while that is valuable advice to live by, what if our wherever is not the place that we should really be?

     I recently saw a flashy advertisement pop up on my computer screen that said this -- Buy ______ (this phone) and you can be all there in more than one place!  We all know that isn't possible, but we are part of a generation that is trying to live that way. 

     How do we pull away and KNOW where we are really supposed to be? 

     How do we discover what it is to disconnect from the urgent and connect with the important?

     How do recognize the immeasurable value that surrounds us and let go of the erroneous value that beckons us from beyond?

     Jesus walked on this earth two-thousand years ago and although He didn't have telephones, websites and Facebook, He did have people begging for His every moment.  Sick men, blind men and crippled men called for Him to come to them.  Bleeding women, sinful women and lonely women desperately searched after Him. 

     Jesus knew what it was to be pulled in many directions.

     When we read in the Bible about Jesus giving sight to the blind, healing the sick and forgiving the sinners -- it seems He was very present in the moment.  Wherever Jesus found Himself, He focused on that moment.  On those that were around Him.

     Is that the secret? 

     If we find ourselves home with our four year old, can we be present with them?  Yes, there is laundry to do, but they could sort whites and darks with us while we listen to the most recent knock-knock joke.

     If we are home with our eight year old, can we connect there too?  Yes, there may be supper to make, but they could peel the carrots and share in the happy chatter of the day. 

     And our teenager, even them?  Absolutely, but we may need to pause from what we "need" to do in order to enter their world.  There are moments to share and conversations to savour if we do.

     I have good news . . . there is a second half of Jim Eliot's quote that will help us finish the puzzle . . . when he said, "Wherever you are, be all there," he finished it by saying, "Live to the hilt every situation you believe to be the will of God."

     If we have been given the gift of parenting, then we too MUST find the way to LIVE TO THE HILT and be ALL THERE! 

     Not that we can't take moments for ourselves -- we need that too, but in our heart of hearts we know the difference.  We can take or make the phone calls that need to be done, but we don't stay on the phone all day.  We can enjoy the new email from a friend but keep the response short.  We can plan time to peruse what is important to us on the internet but we don't stay on past what we planned.  All these, and so many more, are just responsible ways of bringing balance to our lives, in order that we can be ALL THERE in the places where God has placed us!

"Show me your ways, O Lord,

teach me your paths;

guide me in your truth and 

teach me, for you are my God

my Saviour, and my hope is in you."

Psalm 25:4 & 5 

Entertain ME

     Have you heard the alarming news?  An epidemic of monstrous proportions is sweeping across the country, even as your eyes scan over the bold type of this page, it is increasing in severity.  It is the disease of "entertainment" and many children are experiencing severe symptoms accompanied by concerning side effects.  Worse yet, although it was once thought to be a childhood illness, it has been found to travel to adults as well.

     Do you know of what I am speaking?  Have you seen some of the symptoms in your home? 

     The early warning signs are exhibited through whining and complaining with sporadic use of the "B" word (bored).  But as the condition goes untreated its effects become more severe: refusal to help around the house, addiction to electronic games and toys, extended time watching television, inability to venture outside four walls, complete loss of interest in the Bible and church . . . on and on the list goes.

     You may think I'm simply attempting humour but I'm not.  This is an attempt to draw your attention to something I feel is of prodigious proportions . . . our children are being pulled towards an intense vaccuum labelled "ENTERTAIN ME" and beyond that suction entry point is a deep dark hole from which it is very hard to return.

     Never before have our children been less "needed" when it comes to responsibilties in real life.

     Never before have there been so many ways to relax, play and consume.

     Never before have we, as parents, felt at such a loss for the right way to go.

     How the Disease Grows:

1. Children are not required to help around the house or contribute to those around them
2. Children are not monitored for reasonable amounts of electronic games, movies & TV
3. Children are left to their own schedules, not incorporated into family life
4. Children are allowed to muddle at a lower standard and are not called to God's standard
5. Children are permitted to believe they are THE WORLD instead of only a part of the world

    
     Part of the Cure:

1. Find ways for each child to know they are a necessary part of the home and community you live in -- responsibilities with meals, clean up, yard work, visiting shut-ins, making cookies for a neighbour, helping a sibling, etc...
2. Don't be soft on media-- if you have game systems and televsions then be SURE you know what they are playing and watching, and set allotted times and STICK TO IT -- lack of consistency often lies more in the parent than the child
3. Prayfully look at your days and weeks, then set a rhythm and routine that incorporates the BIG ROCKS first (read more here from a previous post -- Begin with the End)
4. Stay firm on the standards that God has placed in His Word and expect each child to do the same -- it is too easy to look at the "Joneses" and assume our kids are fine with medicore
5. Gently show each child that they are precious but God has placed many other people around them that they can love and serve, and be sure as the parent that you place your relationship with God and your spouse as high priority

      This isn't meant to be a list of rules -- can do's and can't do's -- that's not how God works! 

     But as parents, we need to be very aware and vigilant of how serious this problem is . . . many frustrated organizations report young adults can't hold down jobs because they are up half the night playing video games, mothers soberly whisper of daughters who act as if no one else in this world matters but them, and fathers break down in tears because they have lost the opportunity to mold their sons.

     We need to realize that the small things we do now with our children will enable them to do big things later when they are adults.  Most importantly, we must see that God has called us to train up our children in the way they should go and that begins NOW, not next week.

"I raised you up for this very

purpose, that I might display

My power in you and that

My name might be proclaimed

in all the earth."

Romans 9:17



     

Why, Mom, Why?

     The question has probably been asked in every language, around the world -- Why did Jesus die?  Today, as we reflect on Good Friday, watch for opportunities to answer this age old question for our children.  If you have the privilege of a little one coming to you with their bright eyes upturned and their head tilted to one side in curiosity, asking you, "Why, Mom, why?" . . . don't be shy!

     I've heard parents say they feel nervous or won't tell their children about Jesus' death because it is too sad or too frightening, but they shouldn't feel that way.   Any child, at any age, can handle at least a piece of the story.  It is truth -- without our children comprehending Jesus' death, there can be no celebration in His life. 

     Jesus' death and resurrection aren't a small piece of the story -- they ARE the story!  Jesus came to earth as a baby, lived out every temptation our children will face (and that we could face) -- WITHOUT sin -- He died on the cross and rose on the third day!  That is THE story!

     From the time our children could sit up in our laps (about 6 months old) we had a Bible storybook open daily exploring the pictures and words that told us the story of Creation, the heroes who have gone before, the birth of Jesus, the miracles He did, His death on the cross and being raised again.  DON'T SKIP the cross -- if we glaze over that for fear of them not being ready, we miss the greatest foundation of the truth.

     Jesus did come . . . He did die . . . and He did rise again.

     Any child can comprehend the basics, then each year we can build on that foundation and share a little more detail as we sense they're ready to understand.

     Embrace the sadness of Good Friday in your heart and share it with your little ones . . . the celebration will be greater when we reach Resurrection Sunday!

"Since the children have flesh and blood,

He too shared in their humanity so that by His

death He might destroy him who holds the

power of death."

Hebrews 2:14

    

TOO BUSY?

     My eyes fell upon this incredible sentence . . . "The person who says they are too busy to pray has somehow misunderstood WHO it is they have access to!"

     Strength and deep calling exude from that one simple line!  WHY? -- because it has taken a long time for the realization of what the privilege of prayer REALLY is, to move from my head to my heart . . . and I still have a long way to go.

     Most of us would say that prayer is important and even give credit to the truth found in the title of Bill Hybels classic book, Too Busy Not To Pray.  We know we "should be" praying -- but is that really what it boils down to?  We "should be"?

     Don't you think that God . . . the same One who fashioned the stars and breathed life into you and me . . . desires more that just an obligatory daily discipline from us?

     How would you feel if your child dragged their body into the living room every few days, sighed loudly and said, "I guess I should really talk for a minute since I didn't yesterday or the day before"?  I know how I would feel -- my heart would be broken! 

     I love my children and I find great joy in our conversations -- the sharing of joyful events, of accomplishments, of sad moments, of concerns -- all those things make up the relationships I share with each of one of them. 

     So how much more does our perfect God want to be involved in each of those areas of our lives?  Do we have joyful events?  Accomplishments?  Sad moments?  Concerns?  God wants to be involved in those areas and prayer allows Him to be welcomed into those places.

     Even more so, as we grow in His Word and His truths, we come to realize that He has given us ALL that we need for life and godliness THROUGH our knowledge of Him (II Peter 1:3). 

     As we come to understand more deeply WHO He is and are able to apply in prayer what He has made available to us, we will encounter a whole new reason to "find time" to pray.

     We all know that every single person on this planet has the same number of hours in a day -- 24 including sleep, to be exact.  Effective prayer is not about needing more time; it is about needing increased value as to how much we need God through the communication tool of prayer that He has made available to us.

     Press in, talk to God, listen to God and don't give up!  He is waiting on you and He wants to be with you  -- not just in the morning, but all day long.  Don't make God your last resort when your efforts have failed you; make Him the first place you go!

"Be joyful always;

PRAY continually;

give thanks in all circumstances,

for this is God's will for you."

I Thessalonians 5:16-18