The Clean Up Blues

The scene that met my gaze as I rounded the corner, made my passion-for-organization-heart sink.  A room, previously clean only mere hours before, was disseminated by the busy hands of my red-cheeked little boy.  As I stood in the hallway, I could feel a smile pulling at my lips, but recognized that more than humour was required in that moment.  As I strained to suppress the urge to let out the laughter, I drew upon my "mommy voice", and informed my four year old that the mess had to be cleaned before supper.  The tears that followed were enough to twist the heart of the most stern of mothers, but I held firm to my issued decree, knowing he was capable of what needed to transpire next.  I carefully laid out some simple steps of an orderly way to tackle the disaster and then walked out of the room, leaving my tired little man to test his abilities.  I didn't go too far away, in order that I could be available for any cries that might move from sadness to desperation.  The first few minutes passed without much difficulty.  Before long though, the tears began again...

My first inclination was to step in and do it for him and the second was not much better; I would have gladly sat down and tackled it with him, but neither option seemed to suffice given the circumstance.  I felt this was a battle that my four year old was capable of confronting, so that he could hopefully savour the victory in the end.  Time ticked by slowly and when I returned a bit later, I was pleased for both his sake and mine that some progress was made.  It was not finished quickly, nor without a few more tears shed by my, now weary, little man; but it was worth the persevering.

Why would a loving mother heartlessly make her four year old handle such confusion?  Was it because I didn't care?  No, it was because of my great love for him; my confidence that he was capable even when he did not believe he was, and my greater perspective of life in knowing that he needs to learn and grow in these areas, even if he doesn't enjoy it at the moment.  A short term solution was not going to help this little man grow in the long term view of things - although there were tears and pain, these are what will make him into the big man he will need to be someday. 

Does that not prompt you to think of our Heavenly Father and the ways that He cares for us?  As I reflect, there are many events in my life in which, that as I look back, I can recognize the wisdom of needing to suffer through them, but I assure you at the time, I could see no benefit whatsoever.  How similar this is to my little four year old and his room - I know that he did not think for a moment that I knew what was better for him.

The fleshly nature in all of us longs for the easy road in life.

But God, who sees far beyond our short-sighted vision, knows we need those lessons that do not sit comfortably at the moment.  He is working out a much more magnificent design in each of us and He knows how much heat from the fire we can take before we get burned.  Without exception, it is through our Refiner's fire, that our hearts are strengthened and purified.

What was the ending to the story of my four year old and his room?  He melted down and lost all sense of hope just moments before completion.  Did I walk away and give up on him?  No, I knew by then he had as much as he could take and I went to his side and helped him finish the job.  It only took two more minutes to complete, but I recognized that he could go no further. 

In the same way, you and I have felt the Father come alongside us, haven't we?  When we felt all hope must surely be gone, there He is, lovingly helping us clean up the mess we have made and put things back were they belong.

Thank you, Father, for always being so very near to rescue us when the heat is more than we can bear!

"The helpless call to Him, and He answers; He saves them from all their troubles."  Psalm 34:6

Storing Up Treasures



As I tucked my daughter into bed, I wondered at the significance of the quilt that I had just pulled up around her chin. It was left to us by my grandmother, who passed away recently at the age of 97. What struck me as most significant during this simple act of bedtime routine was this; the quilt was one of the few things that my grandmother had held onto during her last days this side of eternity.  Such a ordinary treasure, but it spoke volumes to where she, and my grandfather when he was still living, focused their lives - it was in storing treasures in heaven. 

In this day and age, it seems such a challenge to grasp the truth that what we have in the here and now will NOT last.  As it has been said so many times before, we come into the world with nothing and we can't take anything with us when we go.  As I watched my grandmother live out her last years on earth, especially once she was on her own without my grandfather; I saw her give away and dispose of almost everything that she owned.  This wasn't out of necessity as much as the increasing comprehension that those items held no value for her in light of eternity.  This is a truth that I want to be able to gain greater understanding of, in order that I can live my life accordingly and communicate it with our children.

While Jesus walked this earth, He carefully instructed those around Him, in the most important truths that they needed to grasp.  I find it fascinating that He talked about money more than He talked about almost any other subject.  In Matthew 6:19-21, in the Message, it relates so well what He wanted us to grasp,
     "Don't hoard treasure down here where it gets eaten by moths and corroded by rust or - worse - stolen by burglars.  Stockpile treasure in heaven, where it is safe from moth and rust and burglars.  It's obvious, isn't it?  The place where your treasure is, is the place you will most want to be, and end up being."

During different parts of a given year, you often hear of increases in theft and break-ins, and it is interesting to listen for the reaction of those in the area.  No one likes it - I don't either, but while some people respond with reasonable caution in ensuring they lock their doors and be wise, others respond with drastic measures.  They install alarm systems, they own vicious dogs, they triple padlock the doors and windows...you get the idea.  I am not saying we should not be wise in guarding our homes, but sometimes when we test our reactions to events like those, it can show us where our hearts are presently at. 

God knew we couldn't store treasures in two places at once, so He carefully laid out the strategy.  We are free to enjoy the treasures that God blesses us with here on earth - John 1:16 tells us that, "We all live off His generous bounty, gift after gift after gift," BUT we need to put our energy into storing up treasures in heaven.  How are these stored?  We are told to give to those in need, to care for the orphans and the widows, to be generous to all, and to share our time and resources with those He places in our lives.

As we invest in heaven, God will pour out blessing here on earth and much more will be reserved for us when we step into eternity.  May we somehow recognize that the what we see and touch in these moments on earth is so very temporary, and what is ahead is not only permanent, but of much greater value and worth.  As we learn and live out these values here on earth, our children will watch and grow from our examples!

After "I Do"



Is there anything that can really prepare you for real life in marriage after you have said, "I do"?  When I think of that question, it makes me think that it would be like asking a mom if anything she read prior to childbirth fully prepared her for the pain of giving birth?  I would have to give a resounding NO to both those questions - Why, because it is all misery from that point on?  OF COURSE NOT, but there are extremes of highs and lows that take you beyond what you feel your limits would be, both in marriage and childbirth.

I just finished reading an amazing autobiography this month, and when asked by a friend what the best part of the book was, I had to laugh at my answer...because it was the opening dedication.  It sounds silly to read 250 pages of wonderful sharing and wisdom, and find the golden nugget in a simple dedication, but listen to what the author said..."To my husband...my best friend, and if I am honest - at times - my worst enemy."  I was so impressed that she would choose to be so honest, but I loved it.  Oh, that we would all be so wisely honest and transparent.

One of my deep desires when I share with moms, especially those younger than I am, is that I am able to find the freedom to be very honest, while still exercising wisdom in being gently cautious.  Just like it does not demonstrate wisdom to "let it all hang out" and it is not fair to our husbands; it is also not right to hold it all in and give a false picture of our lives and how "together" we have it.  It is only God's wisdom in our lives, that can show us what is wise to share and what is best to keep behind closed doors; but my hope is that by opening the door to challenges and the dark times that can come with marriage, you will not feel so alone.

Marriage is the most intimate relationship we can share with another person BUT marriage is hard work!  I came across a quote from a church workbook this month that said, "You can't have intimacy without conflict".  My first thought was of how true that was, and my second thought was - Why didn't anyone tell me that?  Isn't it interesting how we can go through the dating and engagement time period, and if you are anything like I was, read lots of books and think you are so fully prepared, but then realize you didn't really have a clue?  It goes back to the beginning of these thoughts and the irony there is in reading books about the pain of childbirth and thinking we know what we are getting into, doesn't it?

So what is my point in all of this?  Marriage is tough, so deal with it?  NOT AT ALL!  I believe because we live in a world that has fallen so far from God's original design for marriage, we have to work hard to discover all that God intends for us to enjoy within the bonds of that relationship.  I also feel that we have to be very aware of the enemy's intentions to destroy the very institution that God created to make us stronger and more complete than if we were alone.  We have to CHOOSE to never give up!  I love the picture that God gives us in Ecclesiastes 4:12, "Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves.  A cord of three strands is not quickly broken."  I believe that the third strand represents Christ in our marriage relationship, and when He is at the centre, we should be strong indeed.

That clears that up then, right? Life is easy now?  No, as long as we are on this green earth, life will have its hills, including spectacular mountain peaks; and its lows, including deep, dark valleys.  My longing as I share today, is not that you go away discouraged but that you realize there is hope; and with Jesus in our marriage there is always hope.  But in some strange way there is also hope in knowing that dark, hard times are as real and "normal" as the happy, good times. 

I want to challenge you with a fun assignment (I have already done it myself) ~ If you are married, take some time to think of a favourite memory of your spouse that comes from the early dating/courting days.  Focus on what you really appreciated about them, remembering when you were convinced you had met the person who would make you happy for the rest of your life (oops, notice the selfishness in that thought).  Let your mind ponder for a while, the feelings and thoughts you savoured back then and savour it once more.  Then look for a way to tell your spouse how much you love them now.  Have fun!

Walk This Way

There are many aspects of parenting that can amaze us, thrill us, captivate us, overwhelm us, and ultimately take us to our knees...what a job we have been given, isn't it?  I never cease to be surprised at what the next turn in the road brings for new joys and new challenges, but there is one thing that always remains constant and steady...

    God has mapped out the path we are to take.

We may not have the full picture of the journey - in fact no one really does - but God has already mapped it out and He has gone ahead, cleared the way and is prepared to direct us.  One of the most reassuring verses in the Bible for me, is found in Proverbs 3:5&6, where it says, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." I am told that a more accurate translation from the original would say he directs our paths, even though they are not always straight.  Either way, it is so good to know that when we are TRUSTING in God with all our heart and not just depending on our opinions, He WILL show us the way to go.

It causes me to reflect on the task we have in raising up our children...each day as we work, and talk, and laugh, and live life; as parents, we are (or should be) laying foundations in our children's lives that will give them a map to follow as they grow older.  I remember author and speaker, Sally Clarkson, saying that her adult son told her that he could hear her voice in his head reminding him of where to go and what was right to do.  What a legacy to leave, as long as what we leave in our children's heads is love and truthfulness that lines up with God's Word. 

I believe that each day as we love, train and equip our children with daily life lessons, we are laying a foundation in their hearts that will guide them in their years ahead.  As we teach them to obey us, as parents, we are teaching them to obey God once they are grown.  My hope for each of my children is that they will be as in Isaiah 30:21, where it says...
          "Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, 'This is the way; walk in it'."

Puppet Shows

When I was a child I remember being totally mesmerized by puppet shows. It didn't matter whether they were big puppets or little puppets, if the person behind the puppet could make me believe even for a moment, that the puppet could really talk, I was hooked. These kinds of puppet shows are amusing and innocent, but there is another kind of puppet show that can happen in our lives that is neither fun nor healthy, and those are the ones in which the enemy uses us as his puppets. Sound confusing? Let me explain further.

I was reading in I Samuel 17 and reflecting on the thrilling moment when David stood before Goliath ready to defeat him - more than most other stories, I am sure you remember this one.  But what I noticed this time while reading, that came just prior to David's great victory, was in verse 28, where it says, "When Eliab, David's oldest brother, heard him (David) speaking with the men, he burned with anger at him and asked, 'Why have you come down here? And with whom did you leave those few sheep in the desert? I know how conceited you are and how wicked your heart is'." Wow - can you imagine having your big brother, of whom you had travelled far to bring food to and most likely had looked up to, speak to you like that? Not only did his brother make it very clear to David that he wasn't welcome, his brother insulted his job, his reputation and his character. It is interesting to me that the enemy used David's oldest brother as a "puppet" to try to keep him from doing what God had called and equipped David to do that very day, which was to kill the giant that no one else (including David's big brother) had dared to face.

There is also the similar experience that Jesus had with Peter in the New Testament, found in Matthew 16. Jesus had begun to share what would happen when he went to the cross, and Peter's quick reply found in verse 22-23, said, "'Never, Lord...this shall never happen to you!' Jesus turned and said to Peter, 'Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the things of God, but the things of men'." Ouch - could it get more insulting than that? And yet, Jesus was perfect - he saw past Peter and straight to the enemy who was using Peter as his "puppet" in trying to turn Jesus away from what God had called him to do. The similarities to David with his older brother, and Jesus with Peter are very noticeable; in both situations the enemy was trying to keep those called, from fulfilling their purposes.

How does this apply to us? I believe there are two very important applications we can take from these stories. The first application is this; the enemy will use anyone he can find, including and sometimes especially, those closest to us, to try to turn us away from facing our challenges and our callings.  Therefore, it is very important when we hear words that hurt us or discourage us, especially when the words originate from those we are closest to, that we evaluate whether the words hold truth or the lies of the enemy. I have yet to try saying, "Get behind me satan" to my husband - not sure if that would go over well - but you get the idea. Satan will use whomever he can gain access to as his "puppets", if only for a moment, to discourage us and tear us down so we have to be on guard against his schemes. These stories are also a good reminder to us, that the battle and opposition that can come against us personally, can be greatest just prior to our biggest victories, so watch for that.

The second application is more simple, but just as important; the enemy wants and will try to use us as his "puppets" to tear down or discourage others who are in our lives, and we need to be ever aware of that possibility. I have heard it said that, "There, but for the grace of God, go I", and we need to live with that kind of grace evident in our lives. When the enemy tempts us to open our mouths and say what we FEEL; stop, take a deep breath, give a quick prayer, and see if what is wanting to come out of our mouths is a trick of the puppet master.

The more "puppet shows" that we can put an end to in our lives and the lives of those around us, the less opportunity the enemy will have to pull us away from what God has called us to do. The next time you see a puppet lying around somewhere, remember what the enemy tried to do - to David just before Goliath, and to Jesus just before the cross - and CHOOSE to not be one of his "puppets"!

The Unseen Investment

Just as in the heart of winter when small growth and foliage are completely hidden from sight because of the snow; so is it like our lives as moms, as we pour out our hearts for our families ~ most of what is done in love is hidden from sight.  I have been reflecting on the ongoing challenge of daily and potentially discouraging, household tasks.  You know the ones I am thinking of ~ dishes that get dirty all over again, floors that sparkle for only moments before there are marks across them, meals that are eaten in much less time than they take to prepare and then are soon forgotten, and laundry...that seemingly never-ending laundry. 

If I sound like I am complaining, I assure you I am not - just deeply reflecting and choosing to turn my focus to the One for whom all of this is done.  In fact, in Matthew 6, we are told it is good no one notices what we do in serving our families, because as it says in verse 4, "Your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you."  What more do we really need?  The part I find the hardest in all the invisible investments we make in our homes, as moms, is that it is hard to measure what we have done, because the lasting benefits are unseen.  I am a goal-oriented personality, and I enjoy a sense of accomplishment in seeing a job well done as much as the next person, but when we are home full-time, that is not something we have the benefit of enjoying very often, is it?

If we tried to measure our sense of accomplishment against the tasks that stay completed, we would probably have to utilize the word "hopeless" somewhere in the evaluation, wouldn't we?  Every time I finish a Monday load of laundry for seven (which is a lot of laundry by my standards), I go through the same experience.  I have huge piles of clean, neatly folded clothing that get dispersed to all the drawers and closets, and just as I begin to feel like momentarily I am ahead of the game - BOOM - I walk past the laundry hamper and it is on its way back to 3/4 full again.  You would think I would have learned by now, but I still seem to hang onto the hope that somehow it will change and for a moment, there will be no laundry.  Not in my near future.

This past week, God brought a new application to an old verse for me and it ties in so well with laundry, dishes, floors and the rest, that I felt I just had to share it.  II Corinthians 4:18 says, "So we fix our eyes NOT on what is seen, but on what is unseen.  For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."  I realize this verse has many applications - but I am excited about the laundry application, which is this:  If we try to measure our accomplishments by things that are lasting or tangible, we will forever be disappointed.  God has called us to invest in what is unseen and I feel that, as moms, we do this every day!  Investing in our homes, chores, children, husbands...most of that is "unseen"!  But that is what Jesus has said will be rewarded, and it is also what counts for eternity.  So let's see if we can fix our eyes on what we can't see and find new meaning to the same, old tasks!

The Two Ditches of Personal Value

As with so many things in life, there are ditches on both sides of the road that God has for us to walk this journey of life on.  I have found that neither ditch is "healthier" than the other one and yet there is a tendency to end up in either ditch so easily.  When I think of the part of the road that speaks to the personal value we have as individuals, I see how narrow that path can be for so many of us.  Here is why...

God, in His Word, has spoken of His love and value for us, over and over.  He says in I John 4:16 that, "We know and rely on the love God has for us.  God is love."  And then in Ephesians 2:4-5 it says, "Because of His great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in sin."  God loves us for exactly who we are - He made us and designed us with each special trait we have.  Even though we can hear those truths, read them, think on them and believe them in our heads, somehow we need God to help us get them to our hearts. 

The first ditch I see in the balance of our personal value is the very common view of ~ I am not good enough.  What a lie from the enemy that has been spoken over so many lives both young and old.  I have watched the effects on my own life, close friends and even traces in my children that come and go.  When we know that this is not God's truth for us, then why do we let these thoughts stay?  Simple strategy of the enemy, really.  He watches for the ways we mess up or make mistakes or choose to sin (the sin he often tempts us with in the first place), and then he jumps on our thoughts and fills us with a deluge of shame and embarrassment.  So if the LIE is "I am not good enough", then what is God's truth?  One truth is found in Ephesians 3:12 and it says that, "In Him and through faith in Him we may approach God with FREEDOM and CONFIDENCE."  It is because of Jesus Christ that we don't have to carry any shame, no matter our past or present.  What was done on the cross for us, when we accept it as a gift, sets us free from the need to "be good enough".  When the enemy throws that lie in your face, you just throw back Proverbs 3:26 says that, "The Lord will be (my) CONFIDENCE." 

The second ditch in personal value and worth, is the one of ~ I am doing pretty well all on my own.  Can you believe it?  If the enemy can't trick us with one lie, he will try the opposite approach.  He will get your eyes off Jesus and all that He is doing in and through us and try to get us to take the credit instead.  This ditch has a potentially deeper fall simply because of the danger found in thinking we are anything without the cross and all Jesus has done for us.  The lie says "I am doing pretty well all on my own", but God's truth will not let us stay there with those thoughts - it is not a safe place to be.  Instead, God brings us back to the centre of the road, when He says in John 1:3, "Through Him all things were made; without Him nothing was made that has been made."  We are also reminded in Ephesians 2:8-9 that, "It is by grace you have been saved, through faith - and this is NOT FROM YOURSELVES, it is the gift of God - not by works, so that no one can boast."  The truth pulls us out of worldly thinking and reminds us that all we have and are is because of Jesus living in and through us.

So ask yourself today?  Are you in either of those ditches?  If you aren't, don't congratulate yourself, because you will trip right into the second ditch we looked at.  Instead, thank Jesus for what He has done for each of us.  Ecclesiastes 7:18 tells us that, "The man who fears God will avoid ALL extremes." 

Let God set you in the centre and keep your feet on the path!