THE COMPARISON TRAP

     The snags in the blue-stained carpet held my rapt attention, as I tried to find anywhere to rest my eyes, except on the women talking near me.  It was impossible not to hear their private sharing; and I had nowhere else to go but the seat I occupied in the waiting room.

     Although their conversation had begun with weary words of how exhausting their lives were, it soon had led to the details that left me surprised.  The first woman shared her "busyness" which consisted of pedicures, hair appointments and back massages.  The second description was not very different.

     Within moments, it seemed the air became more stale than it had been and the sunlight streaming in the windows dimmed its bright and cheery effect.  What changed?  Only my heart and its response to some strangers description of busyness...you see, I fell feet first into a comparison trap.

     What's a comparison trap?  A device that is used frequently in our lives -- so often, that we may not even notice its stellar effectiveness that leads us away from the things with which we are already blessed.  In fact, there are traps of this nature set around our lives daily and we must navigate them with extreme caution.

     Ease of life?  Children?  Personal dwellings?  Spouses?  Wardrobes?

     These areas and many more can either be examined with a warm heart of thankfulness for what we have, or a cold heart of emptiness that comes from what we don't have.  Our attitude will determine whether we fall into the trap of comparison or step over it with a giant step of gratitude.

     You must know your own weaknesses for the comparison traps in your world and be as vigilant as a soldier on duty.

     How did my blue-stained carpet afternoon end?  I quickly sensed God remind me that my life, too, would have aspects of ease to it also, depending on the person that would overhear one of my conversations.  It was not for me to judge, nor wallow in self-pity; but to stand up and recognize the greatness of EVERY good thing I enjoy...even if it's not over a pedicure.

"Make a careful exploration

of who you are...don't compare

yourself with others." 

Galatians 6:4

   

OUR WANTS VS. THEIR NEEDS

     I had "my" day all laid out...like a garden planted in perfect rows, the hours of "my" day were going to flow in ideal order, UNTIL...

     The "until" came early on a Saturday morning, as my youngest child stood beside me in the parking lot of a store and gazed dreamily up at a snow covered hill.  "Mom," he asked softly, "wouldn't it be so fun to sled down that hill?"

     My honest answer would have been, "No, I don't like getting cold nor wet, and I have a numbered list of things I am going to do today."

     BUT, my heart stepped in to speak before cold-hearted honesty did, and my real answer to those captivating, baby-blue eyes was, "Yeah, it would, but we're not allowed to sled there.  How about we go to an even bigger hill where we are allowed to sled?"

     In an instant my list flashed before my face and I knew all those boxes waiting to be checked off in systematic order were going to remain empty today.  I grieved silently for a moment, then loaded my kids in the van and headed home to grab sleds and snow-pants.

     The hours that followed were filled with smiles, laughter and bone-weary hikes up the tobogganing hill -- and you know the ending, right?  I wouldn't have traded it for the world when we were done!

     Then why was it so hard to leave my tick-boxes blank if I was trading them in for such perfection of experience?

     I see it as an ongoing challenge of motherhood...it's the never-ending balancing act of blending "our" wants with "their" needs.

     The reality is, we couldn't live our lives on the snow-covered hills every day; but for me, my tendency is to err on the side of responsibility over and over, and forget to have the fun.

     Chances are, you are either nodding your head up and down vigorously at this moment because you know exactly what I'm talking about OR you're shrugging your shoulders with a "what's the big deal" response, because you're the one who needs more time with tick-box days.

     God has created each of us uniquely, as moms, and yet we are all called to do a similar job.  A job that consists of raising children, keeping a home, making multiple daily meals, caring for injuries, shuttling lesson-goers, and on and on.

     Where do you land, Mom?

     Do you know how to discern your wants from their needs?  Do you see that the truth is we will NEVER get this perfect as a balancing act, regardless of whether we are "box-checkers" or "shoulder shruggers"?

     Every day is a new day -- one to be delicately balanced with memory-making and real-life working.  Don't beat yourself up trying to get it perfect.  All we can do is our best; to evaluate what each day needs AND what you are reasonably able to offer it...then enjoy it, while you make some memories along the way.

     "There is a time for everything,

and a season for every activity

under the heavens."

Ecclesiastes 3:1