RESTLESSNESS

     Restlessness.

     As your eyes glance over the word, do you find you've shifted in your seat already?  Does it cause you to feel flutters of caution inside?  None of us like to experience restlessness, and yet it seems unavoidable at times -- what's important is what we do with those feelings.


     Restlessness can come upon us furiously, like a tidal wave out of the ocean or it can creep up on us almost silently, till we look around and wonder how we came to feeling the way we do.

     It may be the job we're in seems to call out for freshness, or harder yet, the job we're not in calls out to pull us from the home and place us back in the workplace.  Reasons abound.

     Sometimes change is demanded of us, but often, we thrust change upon ourselves because of our restlessness.

     While one looks at change as a reason for the turmoil of restlessness, another will look at looming sameness with the same emotions of a caged lion.  We're created differently but most of us can relate to the chords within that are struck and cause us to itch wildly on the inside.

     What are we to do, when, not if, these feelings come?  Only one solution can be true -- we must press in to the only One who knows us completely, Father God who created us.  He alone has the answers for which our souls so restlessly search.

     As we look ahead to a whole new year, let's carefully lay out our restlessness and examine it as a doctor would a sickly child.  Take time.  Pray.  Ask the Lord what He has for us in the new year, not just inform Him of what we plan to do.

     God can use restlessness in our lives to draw us closer to Himself and do wonderful things in us and around us, but if we don't allow these stirrings to be used for that good, then there are many a dangerous path we could stumble down in the days ahead without the direction of our Father who loves us.

     Let us not be as the scriptures describe in Deuteronomy 28, where the people refused to listen to the voice of the Lord and couldn't find a place to rest.  It says no home could be found nor could they settle down...God gave them a restless heart, longing eyes and a homesick soul because they would not let God lead them.

     Find a quiet place and release your restlessness.  Peacefully wait and ask the Lord to bring His direction to your decisions.  To shed His light on a dark and windy path -- He has promised that when we seek Him, He WILL make our paths straight.  Then we can go into a new year with the confidence and rest that only He can bring.

"Now may the Lord of Peace

Himself give you peace at

all times and in every way."

II Thessalonians 3:16

TOSSING & TURNING

     Sheets were wrapped and wrinkled about my legs.

     Pillows had been tucked, fluffed and puffed.

     Positions were shifted a hundred different ways.

     It was no use -- sleep wouldn't come.  My mind was filled with the "must-do's" and the "how will I do's"; the clock mocked me as the minutes ticked on and sleep remained unattainable, and the tossing and turning continued.

     The truth that rested in my head, couldn't seem to find it's way to my heart -- God is sufficient.   

     We're promised rest, true rest, in God's Word.  Not just in the sense of sleep, but pure and perfect rest as when our hearts lay calm despite the tornado that swirls in our world.

     How do we grip hold of that rest?  What do we do when rest eludes us?

     There's only one place to find escape from tossing and turning.  It's in the One who created rest.  Of Him, David, the psalmist of old, said, "My soul finds rest in God alone...my hope comes from Him.  He alone is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will not be shaken....Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to Him, for God is our refuge." (Psalm 62)

     Do you hear those truths?  Do they resonate in your deepest being?  Do they bring peace to your heart?

     God shows us through David's life three key things in this passage:

1. The only place where rest is found is in God alone
2. The only way we will avoid being shaken is in Him
3. The only way to receive that rest is by CHOICE

    

     We must lay at God's feet what is heavy and burdensome to us this Christmas; but then we have to leave it there!

     We are to pour out our hearts to God, but then we must choose to leave the things we've poured out to Him, in His capable hands -- don't pick them up again . . . "God, I don't know how we are going to deal with ______, but I trust You have the answers and I'm choosing rest.  God I don't know where time will come from to accomplish ______, but I trust You to provide for what really needs to be done and I'm choosing rest."


     Missionary, Amy Carmichael, was quoted saying, "God is willing as light is willing to flood a room that is opened to its brightness; willing as water is willing to flow into an emptied channel."  May He flood over us today!

     My prayer for each of us this Christmas is that we find true rest; not because our circumstances fully resolve themselves, but because we find rest from the Source of all rest -- God alone.

"Come to me, all you who

are weary and burdened,

and I WILL give you rest."

Matthew 11:28

A Song for Today -- "Blessings"

(click this link to hear an awesome song)

CHRISTMAS PERFECT?



     I have this problem.  It's a big problem but God's been working on me long enough that I can now say -- five kids later -- there's hope!  You see, my heart tends to feel warmer and my smile tends to grow bigger when everything is, well, in its place.  You know, perfect !   But the problem is, nothing robs happiness at Christmas (or any other time of the year) faster than a mom, or dad, whose goal is perfection.

     A traditional, sticky gingerbread house is an excellent image of one of two things -- either perfection or child-like pleasure.  We can't have both!  If we are going to make eyes light up and hearts remember joy-filled, childhood moments, something has to give.

     The challenge is, it's not possible to have "perfect" anything with children -- and even if we could attain it, we'd have to achieve it by stealing joy from the ones we are trying to bless.

     When it comes to Christmas, I've learned that I need to put God, family and others first and remind myself that perfection is not important.  In fact, it's not even found in a hint of how Christmas began.

     Travel back with me, to the night the King of Heaven and Earth came to dwell among us...

     - Imagine Mary, giving birth in a stable . . . where is there any perfection in that, dear moms, who've experienced childbirth?

     - Imagine, Joseph, not even being able to provide a humble hotel room . . . where is there any perfection in that, dear dads, who live to provide for their wives?

     - Imagine, brand-new, infant Jesus, wrapped in old rags to try provide some warmth . . . where is there any perfection in that?

     God's plan was never perfection -- His plan was provision! 

     Nothing has changed in the last two thousand years . . . God still desires provision over perfection.

     I came across a beautiful adaptation of I Corinthians 13 this week, written by Sharon Jaynes, that I wanted to share with you ~

If I decorate my house perfectly with lovely plaid bows, strands of twinkling lights, and shiny glass balls, but do not show love to my family - I'm just another decorator.

If I slave away in the kitchen, baking dozens of Christmas cookies, preparing gourmet meals, and arranging a beautifully adorned table at mealtime, but do not show love to my family - I'm just another cook.

If I work at the soup kitchen , carol in the nursing home, and give all that I have to charity, but do not show love to my family - it profits me nothing.

If I trim the spruce with shimmering angels and crocheted snowflakes, attend a myriad of holiday parties, and sing in the choir's cantata, but do not focus on Christ - I have missed the point.

Love stops the cooking to hug the child.

Love sets aside the decorating to kiss the husband.

Love is kind, though harried and tired.

Love doesn't envy another home that has coordinated Christmas china and table linens.

Love doesn't yell at the kids to get out of the way.

Love doesn't give only to those who are able to give in return, but rejoices in giving to those who can't.

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things.

Love never fails.

Video games will break; pearl necklaces will be lost; golf clubs will rust.

But giving the gift of love will endure.

     Let's give our families the most wonderful Christmas ever -- full of love, selflessness and joy found in our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ -- the greatest gift ever given.  And let's leave perfection out in the cold, where it belongs.

"Mercy, peace and love be

yours in abundance."

Jude 1:2

IT STARTS WITH US

     Are you feeling it, too?  The hustle, the bustle, the rush that God never intended us to drown under this time of year.

     Interesting that Jesus came to bring PEACE to earth and yet it remains one of the hardest things to hold on to as we prepare to celebrate His birth.  It's as if we can watch it slip through our fingers as we hurry from store to store.

     Isn't it just like the enemy to try to steal from us, especially at this season, the gift of peace that Jesus came to bring?  Do you know that we have to fight to receive it?  It doesn't arrive packaged under our tree each year, without some very intentionally choices on our part.

Is there an easy solution? 

A wand that we can wave to make life fall into simple order for the season?  

A way to bring the peace back into our days before Christmas?

     Well, yes and no, but it is possible!  It's found in putting Jesus first regardless of how long our lists of "things-to-do" grow long. 

     The Bible tells us The Word became flesh and dwelt among us!  That is Jesus Christ, Son of God -- with skin on -- came to earth as a baby.  Ironically, the reason for the rushing rests heavily in that phrase.  Do you hear the hope?

     I know, that still doesn't get your lists ticked off to completion, so how does it really help?

     When our hearts focus on Jesus and we begin our days in His presence, we are fed.  We are nourished, strengthened and equipped for every good work -- even shopping, cleaning and Christmas baking!  BUT we have to get the order right!

     Remember the song, Let There Be Peace on Earth?  Do you remember who the peace was supposed to start with?  Here are a few of the words ~

     Let there be peace on earth,

     And let it begin with _____ (WHO?) me (OUCH!),

     Let there be peace on earth

     The peace that was meant to be...

     Let this be my solemn vow.

     To take each moment

     And live each moment

     With peace eternally.

     Let there be peace on earth,

     And let it begin with me.

   

     It's not too late, my sweet friends, to make that same solemn vow.  In our homes, peace genuinely can and should begin with us, as moms!!!  

     I have a little plaque in my room that is just for me.  It says, "If Momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!"  It serves as my daily reminder that my attitude greatly affects our entire household and I take that very seriously.

     More than any other season, I want our children to remember the joy and happiness that centered around the celebration of our Saviour's birth, NOT the stress and the grumpiness. 

     I hate to say it, moms, but it does begin with us!  And that means it begins with God and His Word. 

     If we surrender our mornings, despite all the decorations and tinsel that are yelling for us to put them first, we will find Jesus meeting us there and giving us everything we need to make this season truly peace-ful and joy-ful!  His Word is always proven true -- with Him we can do anything, even Christmas.

"I (Jesus) am the vine;

you are the branches.

If you remain in me and I in you,

you will bear much fruit."

John 15:5

IMAGINE

     We hang their pictures on our walls.  We tuck them into bed each night.  We care for them when their sick and laugh with them when they're well.  God has designed us to care about our children with all the passion He's placed within us.  And yet, do we ever stop and IMAGINE?  Imagine what it feels like to be them?

     I'd wriggled under one of my daughter's cozy pink blankets a little while ago, waiting for her to get ready for bed, and a question jumped into my mind and slapped me in the face . . . What does it feel like to be my daughter? 

     Then, other questions followed -- What does it feel like to be my son?  How did it feel to live in our house today?   Did they feel truly cared for as I rushed around with busyness?  Heat rose in my cheeks as I sadly reflected on a few ways I'd hurried through the day instead of savouring those closest to me.

     That moment deeply affected my outlook.  I began to watch for other opportunities with my other children . . . how does it feel to be YOU right now?  I didn't ask it out loud, but began to imagine what I would feel like if I were in their shoes at various moments in the day.

     You already know what comes next, don't you?  It's not always pretty.  God seems to surface the question to my heart over and over, as if to say, "Would you want to be treated this way?  Would you feel treasured if someone you loved brush past that fast?  Would you want to be spoken to with that tone?"


     I'm not advocating perfect parenting, because that isn't achievable by anyone except our Heavenly Father, but I am promoting PAUSE -- IMAGINE -- RESPOND.


     Just stopping for a few breaths in the day, to examine how our children must feel in the moment, to be part of our homes where God has chosen them to be.  Remember . . . they didn't choose us; they were placed in our arms by God's provident design!

     As we rush about this month (and every other one ahead), let's pause to imagine how it feels for them today. 

     Respond with all the love, or grace, or energy God would want us to.  None of us want to experience the irony of losing out on the quality of daily, precious moments with our children because we are so busy preparing for future days to be special!  Ask God to bring the balance -- and the tenderness to our hearts -- for these sweet, and sometimes not so sweet, ones we love most of all.

"Imagine a person who lives

well, treating others fairly,

keeping good relationships...

This person who lives upright

and well shall live a full and true life."

Ezekiel 18:5&9

MAKE YOUR VOICE LOUDER

     "He said I'm not good at running!"

     "She told me I can't play with them!"

     "They laughed at me when I was singing!"

     It doesn't matter where we live or where we go, life is not always easy when you're a kid (or an adult, either).  Day in and day out, other kids are planted smack-dab in the middle of the path that our kids have to walk down.  Criticism drips off the tongues of their peers -- in many shapes and forms, life can be just plan hard for them.

     How do we offset all the negative that our children absorb in a day?

     First, we need to be sure the message they get from home speaks value, worth and merit. 

     Second, we need to feed them with more than flighty compliments . . . they need to be nourished with God's truths. 

     Third, we need to be sure we are heard above the din of discouragement they face.

     How do we get our voices louder????  How can we be heard over the roar in their heads????

     When I think of being louder, I think of ensuring our God-given, motherly voices of encouragement are heard above the shouts of cruel voices that echo at our children every day.

     Whether they are testing out their singing voice and an older sibling laughs at them or they are on a playground and a scruffy bully tells them they're puny -- we have a job to do!  Our voices need to be in our children's heads to help them ward off these lies that threaten to plant themselves within our children's hearts.

     The enemy will do whatever it takes to tear down our children and he will use whoever is available with the words they'll happily spit out of their cruel mouths.

     I'm so thankful, that as a mom, I have the privilege of being louder than all these other voices.

     The role we play, as moms, is of utmost importance.  We have to see that our LOUD VOICE in the ears of our children is one of  the most beautiful tasks we get to carry out.  Sharing words of hope when they feel low.  Sharing truths from God's Word of their value when they feel rubbish-like.  Sharing arms to hold and ears to listen, when their hearts are needing to be mended. 

     Don't ever let the enemy tell you that your voice isn't important in the life of your child!  Even on the days that our chidlren may "pretend" they don't care what we say, they do!  No one else is going to encourage them like we will!  Get your voice heard and see it as the divine assignment that it is!

"Don't be intimidated by all this

bully talk.  You are worth more

than a million canaries."
Matthew 10:31

FEELING RUN DOWN

 
     There are just those days -- you know the ones -- where you just feel like you don't have what it takes to make it through the next hours, let alone days, that lie ahead.  That's just the reality of life, isn't it?  Somehow being told that those days are "normal" can make it seem more manageable, but something more is available to us that we shouldn't ignore...God's strength.

     This is true strength -- the kind that only God can pour into our lives when we've reached a low point, a hard place, a dark time.  

     Our God, Creator of all things, who is so intimately involved and concerned with EVERY detail of life, cares.  He truly cares.  And He's promised in His Word that when we are weak, His power will be made perfect in us (II Corinthians 12:9).

     I have a poem that hangs on a wall in our home and I stop to read it word for word every so often.  Alone, it's just a poem, but combined with God's promise to fill us with His strength, it becomes of great encouragement...

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts seem high
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When you care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest! if you must -- but never quit.


Life is queer, with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about
When he might have won if he'd stuck it out;
Stick to your task, though the pace seems slow--
You may succeed with one more blow.


Success is failure turned inside out --
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt --
And you never can tell how close you are;
It may be near when it seems afar;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit --
It's when things seem worst that YOU MUSN'T QUIT.

     Quitting can feel like the easiest solution -- it may be with our toddler who won't obey, our teenager who's pushing hard or our spouse who's not home enough.  Whatever is causing us to be run down or overwhelmed, we can take it to God.  He wants to join us in the middle of the mess, not stand back and watch us quit.

     Tell God where you're at and ask Him to come, in His power, into your dark moments and He will.  He really, really will!

"Don't quit in hard times;

pray all the harder."

Romans 12:12

LIFE-GIVING WORDS

     Words that give life are often not easy to find, but they're out there; and for the sake of the deepest parts of our beings, they must be found.  They are the food for our souls that we desperately need!  Although we may deliver beautiful words of life to our families each day, we also need to receive them, don't we?

     But what if we're not receiving life-giving words back in the measure our hearts seem to call out for?

     Each day is different; one morning your preschooler may snuggle in and whisper, "Mommy, I love you so much I want to marry you," and we'll find the meter rise on our life-giving word tank.  But less than 12 hours may pass before our ears hear our older child stomp out of the room, saying, "Mom, you're just not fair - I wish I didn't live here," and we watch the same meter dangerously plummet near empty.

     How are we, as moms, supposed to stay fed on life-giving words when there isn't any way we can predict the next words that will flow from our husband's, friend's or children's mouths?

     First, we treasure each loving word that is shared and tuck them away safely in our hearts.

     Second, we ask God to help us calmly release each negative word that is thrown at us and quickly forgive the offender from our hearts.

     Third, we do our best to find safe places where life-giving words flow that we may have a source outside those who may be draining our tanks on a regular basis.

     Fourth - and most importantly - we go to THE SOURCE of all life, Jesus Christ.  Not just when we're low, but daily, regardless of where our meters are at.  Isaiah 55 calls out to us, when it says...
     "All who are thirsty, come to the water...buy without money-everything's free!
      Why do you spend your money on junk food...fill yourself with only the finest.
      Pay attention, come close now, listen carefully to my LIFE-GIVING, life-nourishing words.
      I'm making a lasting covenant commitment with you...
      You'll go out with joy, you'll be led into a whole and complete life."


     There's only one source where we can be guaranteed to find LIFE -- we must plunge ourselves into the words of God and let it speak to the places deep inside that hurt, ache and are withered.  Only our Creator can bring the lasting, LIFE-GIVING words that we need to hear, so that we may be found complete and whole, not lacking any good thing.

"Lions may grow weak and hungry,

but those who seek the Lord lack NO good thing."

Psalm 34:10

ON-TIME OR ON-HAPPY

     The speedometer rested below the speed limit and my relaxed husband was sporting his "not-a-care-in-the-world face".  His nonchalant demeanor greatly reminded me of my children's attitudes when they couldn't see any reason that "hurrying" was needed either.  I knew I should be thankful for his great mood but it just seemed to add to the swelling emotions I was experiencing, of being late.  And, although, the chatter in the back of our van did nothing for my sour mood, it at least reminded me that I was modeling actions for an audience of five!

     My foot tapped the passenger-side floor more anxiously than it should have . . . late again!  I growled inside and tried to chew on my tongue to keep from showing my frustration.  Being late means far more to me than it should, even though I keep chalking it up to being the "detail" person in the family.

     I refuse to spoil this day, I reminded myself, a few minutes will not make a big difference.  And as much as I knew I was right, I was bothered that I had to put out SO MUCH EFFORT to control my tongue for something so seemingly petty.  God, please help me, came the silent cry.

     This is growth for me -- one small choice at a time; while asking God to strengthen me!

     A choice not to vent the frustration that I feel inside.  A choice to smile when my shoulders hang heavy.  A choice to invite God into the mundane realities of daily life.

     Many times, we have a choice . . . we can either be ON-TIME or ON-HAPPY but we're not guaranteed both!

     I ask myself, "Am I going to treat today like the gift that it is or am I going to be the one responsible for destroying the potential happiness that's locked within these moments?"

     Some may say I'm being to hard on myself, but I don't believe I am.  I know the sound of God's still, small voice, reminding me to love at all times; not just when it suits me.   And the end of the story?  We arrived at our destination safe, (mostly) happy and the appointment we were late for . . . well, they weren't ready for us yet anyway.  One small victory, thousands more to go -- one day, one moment, at a time!

"Troubles can develop 

passionate patience in us."

Romans 5:3

DO I HAVE TO GROW OLD???

     The wispy, grey curls tucked her face into a beautiful blanket of age.  Her wrinkled, red lips opened and wisdom poured out with each word that came.  I felt my heart stir deep within -- God, do this work within my life too.  But do I know what that will require of me?  I'll have to grow old!

     Society has caused us to believe that aging is a curse . . . that getting old is the worst thing that can happen to anybody.

     According to market research, we spend 72 billion dollars on anti-aging products alone.  That doesn't even include hair colouring products, make-up and apparatuses to hide the sags.  What are we so afraid of?

     We're afraid of the one of the biggest lies of the century -- That we're NOT of value if we are aged.  It reminds me of another tragic lie that our society is currently promoting -- Children are NOT a blessing.  It seems anything that God promotes as good, is twisted into something that should be avoided.  How else could we be deceived into missing the blessings God has planned for us?


     We desperately need God's truth.

     This leads us to the Word and we discover . . .

• "The silver-haired is a crown of glory." Proverbs 16:31
• "They will still yield fruit in their old age." Psalm 92:14
• "Gray hair (is) the splendor of the old." Proverbs 20:29

     Aging is the culmination of God's work in our lives.  The place where, if we have followed hard after Him, we have sagacity that abounds and can be shared with others.

   
     I don't know where YOUR birthday falls on the calendar for the coming year, but go to that date in your mind and ask the Lord what blessings He has for you.  Ask God to encourage your heart.  Remind yourself that you can only age at exactly the rate God has deemed best and He's doing a great work in you.

     Celebrate exactly the age you are TODAY and don't dread the good things God has planned ahead!  Remember we are modeling for our children the ways they will anticipate aging too.

"Abraham was now very old,

and the Lord had blessed him

in EVERY way."

Genesis 24:1

WANTING THE BEST

     Every day, I watch eyes twinkle and flash . . . faces smile and frown . . . feet run and stomp, and I feel awestruck and sometimes overwhelmed!  I'm amazed that God trusts me to raise these children.  Do you ever feel the same way?  Like your head is spinning with the reality of the task in front of you?

     You and I, as moms, know something that most of our children will not discover for years  -- we know that from the very core of our being we want the best for our children.  But the irony is we don't always know what "BEST" is supposed to look like, do we?

     For all the time we spend pouring over parenting books, scanning through relevant websites and devouring the latest magazines on child-rearing; sometimes we feel further behind than ahead.  That's nothing new . . . how do you think Dr. Spock sold 50 million copies of his child training book?  We're not the first generation of parents to wonder what's best, but we're definitely the generation most inundated with information!

     Information is at our fingertips and sources drip with opinions and theories, but how do we know if it's the "right" advice?


     If we genuinely desire the best for our kids, we'd better be sure we have a filter in place that all this information can flow through -- do you know what that filter should look like?  It's a book -- no, it's THE BOOK!  It comes in all different shapes, sizes and colours -- and although New York Times bestseller's lists don't acknowledge it anymore, it's been on the #1 best seller's list for years.  It's the Bible, God's words to us, and it offers every bit of the direction we so desperately need for discerning what is really BEST.

     A quote, that dates back 2,000 years ago, says it well . . .
"We ourselves are rather an example to many than imitators of others."  Pericles, 5 BC


     The "best" that we seek to discover for our children begins here -- not seeking to imitate others, but to boldly put all the knowledge we discover through the perfect filter of God's Word and choose to be examples, rather than imitators.

"Keep company with God,

get in on the BEST."

Psalm 37:4

WHY DO I NEED TO BE RIGHT?

     Close your eyes and see if you can you hear a recent conversation in your head . . . Someone you love, probably your husband, is telling a story in a group of friends and you observe that he made a small mistake on a detail -- well, of course, you do what any "good" wife would do -- you jump in and "fix" it for him. 

     Ohhhh!  The second I do that, I find myself mentally stomping my foot and physically biting down on my tongue.  Why did I do that again?, I fume at myself.  Why do I think I need to be right??!!

     A vicious cycle continues on . . . more "husband" stories, more "wifely" corrections . . . I keep learning the same lesson over again but it doesn't seem to stick in my head.  (And I'm the same mom who feels frustrated when my kids have to be told something more than ONCE?)

     I know my husband needs my honour far more than he needs my corrections.

     In fact, if I could replay all those conversations, I'm sure I would experience heat flooding my face and tears slipping down my reddened cheeks for the embarrassment of how TRULY TRIVIAL all my self-important corrections were in hind-sight.  I've heard that hind-sight is 20/20 and I'm sure my source of wisdom is correct.

     I love my husband too much to keep on correcting -- "God, you've got to help me humble myself so I can keep my lips still in these moments of life."  I'm capable of so much harm and so much good ~ all wrapped up in the package of one wife.

     Do you know what's worse?  Now my oldest children are getting to the age where I have more of the same opportunities with them.  Oh, they just don't realize they're a little off on the detail, I'll just interject a bit of my "wisdom". 

     Oh, Kristen, don't you realize you don't offer anything but shame and embarrassment?

     I desire to honour these precious people that God has placed in my life, but it requires self-control with my words.  Who really cares if I'm right or not?  Honestly?  Only me.  I need to decrease so that Christ may increase in my life.

"Don't be selfish; don't try

to impress others.  Be humble,

thinking of others as better

than yourselves."

Philippians 2:3



NOT PROVERBS 31 AGAIN!!!!

     Any mom who's been around the "church block" a few times has probably heard of the Proverbs 31 woman -- some look to her for inspiration, some look to her with confusion and many look to her with disdain.  

     "Another way I don't measure up!!!"

     "Another list of things to do, when I can't even finish the one I have now!!!"

     "Another reminder of all the ways I've failed as a woman!!!"

     To these thoughts, and the many more that may race through your head, I want to stand up on the tip of the tallest building with a giant, red megaphone in hand and yell . . . 

     "NOOOOOO, don't believe those lies!  God's voice doesn't sound like discouragement; that's the enemy of our souls trying to get us to give up completely on doing this motherhood thing!"

     God's voice sounds like 
          VISION, 
               HOPE and 
                    LIFE!   


     The purposes embedded within the words of Proverbs 31 are meant to show us the direction God wants us to go (VISION), to show us that with God's help things will get easier (HOPE) and to show us that when we follow God's ways there is blessing (LIFE).

     Think about the Ten Commandments -- who can read that list and confidently call out, "Check, check, check, yep, I've kept all those!"?  We need to look at the dreaded Proverbs chapter in the same way -- it may be God's ultimate goal for us but He doesn't hold lists over our heads -- that's not how He works.  That's how the enemy works to twist God's truths and make us feel ashamed of what we yet are not!

     We know from many of the references found in Proverbs 31, that this woman doesn't fall into the category of an exhausted, new mom drowning in wet diapers; nor is she a young mom of toddlers making another round of PB&J . . . she's a woman with years of practice, training and experience under her belt.  Over years of walking with the Lord, she has found the ways to gain rest in God's presence and wisdom from His Word -- she is at the other end of this crazy ride called mothering, looking back.

     IF we keep pressing into God, someday we'll be there too; and by His grace alone, our children will "rise up and call us blessed", but for now they may just call us MOM.

     So take a few minutes to pick up your Bible tonight -- somewhere between changing over another load of dirty laundry and that midnight feeding that's still to come -- and look at the words that flow from Proverbs 31, fresh again.  The book of Isaiah says the Lord gently leads those that have young!  That's us, moms.  No extreme expectations, no ridiculous check lists -- He leads us gently!

"There has never been the slightest

doubt in my mind that the God who

started this great work in you would

keep at it and bring it to a flourishing

finish on the very day Christ Jesus appears."

Philippians 1:6   MSG

     P.S.  If you think another mom needs to hear this, please click "share" and pass it along...I'm praying for you!

    
   

GIVE YOURSELF A LITTLE GRACE

     Something unique happens in our lives when we become moms of little ones – we find ourselves in a season of dirty diapers, feedings, fussing, and being in constant demand. It’s a stage of life that we’ve most likely never been in before, and once those little ones grow up a bit, we’ll likely not be there ever again.

     Since the youngest of my five children has departed from the preschool years, I often find myself reflecting on what I've left behind.

     I LOVED my babies; the smell of sweet skin, the fuzz of their little heads, and the way only a baby can snuggle into the warmth of your arms. I miss that SO MUCH! But, I also remember the exhaustion, the feelings of being alone and overwhelmed, and wishing my family wasn't three borders away!

     Could it be that the "babies stage" is one of the most challenging seasons in our entire lives?

     In those moments of juggling babies, diapers and doctor's appointments; we do what most moms would -- we frantically search for wisdom!  We look for those who have gone before us and can make it easier, tell us how it should be done and offer us hope that this WILL get easier.  And that's good, BUT...

     When you read the words of the wise that have gone before you, please remember something…you need to give yourself a little grace. 

     My guess is 9 times out of 10 our sources of wisdom are further ahead in the journey than we are -- and God tells us to search them out (Job 12 tells us that wisdom is found among the aged and long life brings understanding)  -- they are wonderful places to learn from.  But remember, those same sources may sometimes forget the detail; the intensity of the tiredness, the extreme busyness of a toddler and reality of daily demands.  You need to combine grace with whatever you read / hear / see.

     God’s Word is our primary source of survival in every stage, and when our babes are in arms, that's where we'll find direction mixed beautifully with grace; everything else that comes to us by way of information, is secondary, if anything at all. Even as I type these words I am so aware that my memory fails me on the details of countless sleepless nights, although I know I will never forget them completely.


     Don’t neglect the words of the wise that come from so many sources, but if necessary, DO take them with a grain of salt.

     Be patient with yourself – God is patient with you – and you WILL get to where you need to be, one “grace” day at a time.  (And if you are struggling with good 'ol Proverbs 31 mom -- we're going to talk about her next time)

"If any of you lacks wisdom,

you should ask God, who gives 

generously to all."

James 1:5

BIG PICTURE VISION

     As I sat in the Sunday morning service, I began to see dots connecting in my mothering brain, as our pastor gave the message.  He was speaking of the difference between having tunnel vision (only seeing what is right in front of us) and big picture vision (seeing beyond the immediate) in different areas of life; but I began to see how easily I used to have, and can still fall back into the trap of, tunnel vision in parenting.

     Even though my vision for parenting has increased with each year that our children have grown, I still find every once in a while that I start to wish I could go back to the earlier years with the perspective I have now.  It's not that I did things "wrong" back then (although I know I made lots of mistakes), it's just that I see more clearly now the WHY of so many parenting issues that I felt overwhelmed by then.

     In the early years it's so easy to parent primarily out of tunnel vision -- it's what is happening right in front of us...the whining child who won't relent, the crying baby who won't settle, the defiant toddler who insists on their way...these are examples of all-consuming moments, aren't they?  

     You may ask, "How can I even imagine a bigger picture when it's so hard right now?"

     But then it happens, you get ahead a little further in the journey and you realize that what you are doing now is for the purpose of the future...it makes the "no" answers, that we have to give our children, contain greater purpose than just what is happening in the stressful moment of today.

     It really boils down to Proverbs 22:6 when we're told to, "Train up a child in the way he should go, so that WHEN HE IS OLD he will not depart."  Not old -- as in 2 days older -- but old as in years later -- that, my friend, is BIG picture vision.

     IF we can grasp a glimpse of this in our parenting, it could radically transform the way we view the challenges of each day!  What if we saw the frustrations we experience on a regular basis as fresh opportunities to lay foundation stones that our child will need to function as a godly adult?

"Bring (your children) up in

the training and instruction 

of the Lord."

Ephesians 6:4

Soap Watching

    

     I hurried up the stairs, taking them two by two and rushed into the bathroom.  "Are you done yet?" I asked in a classic, impatient mother voice. 

     "What do you mean?" responded my dripping wet child. 

     "You were supposed to wash yourself with the soap bar while I was downstairs," I huffed.

     "Oh, well, I didn't wash but I WAS looking at the soap bar while you were gone," she stated.

     I groaned and began to scrub.

     But how often am I just like my child when it comes to God's Word?  I look at the "soap" but do not wash . . .

     It's no different than the verse in James that says we are not just to be hearers of God's Word, but doers also.  If I faithfully take time in the Word each day and study and memorize Scripture but never DO what it says, then I'm just a "soap watcher" and no more.

     God's Word is like soap; if it's going to have any affect in my life, I have to use it and often.  Just looking at it will benefit no one!

      Picture a brand-new bar of exquisite soap from the finest store; then imagine the thrill of it sweet smoothness running over your skin and the perfume filling your senses -- why pass up an opportunity to savour that in our daily lives? 

     Never does, no, never should a day go by that we are not aware of how much we need God's truth to be active in our lives -- not sitting on a shelf as knowledge, but moving and living in us as we go about our day.  May God show each of us how to stop passively watching the "soap", so that we can begin passionately using it. 

"For if you listen to the Word

and don't obey, it is like glancing

at your face in a mirror. 
You see yourself, walk away,

and forget what you look like."

James 1:23&24

Grumpy Saturdays

     "Mom, can you cut my hair?"

     "Honey, what's for lunch?"

     "Kristen, would you have time to read through this document?"

     When I think of "grumpy Saturdays", I have to confess, I'm sadly referring to ME being the grumpy one, not the rest of my family.  In fact, if any day of the week guarantees more happy smiles and relaxed kids, it's Saturday; and if there's a challenge, it usually rests with me.

     I've asked myself over and over, "Kristen, why are you spoiling Saturday?  This is a day for our family."  I've felt so frustrated with myself and tried so hard to change.  Fortunately, a number of years ago, I discovered the reason for my grumpy Saturdays -- now I just have to stay disciplined to keep working on it. 

     Do you want to know what caused grumpy Saturdays for me?

     My expectation that I deserved the day off too!

     Does it sound too simple and a little selfish?  That's because it is!  When I realized that every week my mind was building up to the excitement of "a day off", a light bulb went on for me . . . if our family was to enjoy a day off together, someone had to be directing it, and I felt that was part of the role God's given to me.  It was when I finally accepted that responsibility, that Saturdays became a joy to me.

     I have an idea of what you may be thinking . . . But moms work hard all week, we deserve a day off!  Yes, that's true, but maybe not in the way we expect. 

     The expression, "a day off", could easily conjure images of our feet resting on a soft pink stool, a mug of steaming, spiced coffee warming our hands, exquisite dark chocolate truffles resting on a silver tray beside us and silence hovering over the house.  BUT, we all know that is not real life, nor the stage of life we are in during this time of mothering. 

     I wish I could give that gift to all of you ~ and allow you to savour silence, sweets and sanity on a regular basis, but to this point I've not found ways to carve that into my life yet either. 

     For the purpose of balance, though, we do need to be sure that we're looking for times to have our husbands or friends help us take small pockets of time for a warm bath or a trip to a coffee shop; the key is that our expectations must be reasonable!

     So what do we do with grumpy Saturdays?  First, we admit that as much as we want to completely spoil ourselves, that is not what we're called to do.  Then, we settle into our homes and look for creative ways to make Saturday (or whichever day is your family day) a special time -- that doesn't mean going places all the time; it can be as simple as playing some board games, taking a walk in the woods or decorating home-made pizza together.  Be sure you say "No" to what can be left undone, and remember, the more balanced we can make the day with kids helping on chores or dad doing some dishes or maybe even a simple supper of french toast, the more we'll all enjoy it.

     As hard as it is, make the effort to rise above the "woe is me" feelings and ask God to help you make your family days a gift from you, as mom, to your family.  We'll never look back and regret the effort it took to make the memories together!

"Jesus said...'If any of you

wants to be my follower,

you must turn from your selfish ways'."

Satisfied

   
     "What if all we had left tomorrow morning is what we thanked God for today?"


     The words burned straight into my heart and made me sit up fast . . . yeah, what if?  God, did I thank you today for my children?  What about three healthy meals?  And a vehicle to take me to the doctor's appointment? And . . . 


     On and on the list would go, because we all have so much to be thankful for, don't we?  But we live in this crazy culture that's always flashing signs and blinking pictures to remind us of what we DON'T HAVE, and as hard as I try to escape them or shut it out of my head completely, I can't.  It's everywhere.

     I am learning (over and over) that I have to find my satisfaction in Jesus and what I already have -- even if it doesn't measure up to everything else I see.  There's a verse in Hebrews, that at first glance seems like two vastly different instructions, but when we look closer we can see how they beautifully connect.  In Hebrews 13:5, we're told to, "Keep your lives free from the love of money, and BE CONTENT with what you have, BECAUSE God has said, 'Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.'"  It can read as separate thoughts, but they are perfectly intertwined . . .

     It is God's assurance of His care for us that should cause us to be SATISFIED with what we have and where we are!


     Pastor Andy Stanley says, "We live in a culture that makes us aware EVERY DAY of what we DON'T have!  Every day we become more and more aware of what we don't have.  It didn't used to be that way.  But every day I'm reminded of what I don't have, should have and actually need."

     Sigh.

     We can't escape the glowing advertisements that adorn every street and roadway, but we can meditate on truth.  The truth that God will never leave us and that we have all that we need.

     It's like putting on a pair of dark sunglasses as we drive down through city traffic -- it won't make the appeal completely vanish but it will dim the attractiveness of all that the world shouts at us to want.


     Lord, remove my desire for the things of this world and replace it with a desire for more of you.  Establish a deep understanding that because you will never leave me, I can and must be satisfied with all the good things with which you have blessed me!

"O God, you are my God,

earnestly I seek you...

My soul will be SATISFIED

as with the richest of foods."

Psalm 63:1&5

Inundated with Evil

     Store windows are overflowing with every dark image possible . . . posters and advertisements beckoning evil bombard bulletin boards . . . children on the street talk with excitement that almost surpasses the anticipation of Christmas . . . and my heart is so heavy.

     God, how do I share your truth without others feeling judged?  How do I express the joy and freedom of walking away from all that a celebration of evil includes?  Lord, give me the words...

     From that deep longing, I share with you today -- I don't believe our country has never been so inundated with evil as it is in this generation.  Halloween has become a "holiday" recognized by most anyone we meet and yet few seem to stop and ask themselves, "WHY?  Why on earth would I want to expose my children to something that represents all the evil that the enemy of our souls has for us?" 

     A common response to that question is, "Oh, our family doesn't celebrate the evil part, we just celebrate the good."  I have to ask, though, what good is there in evil?  The Word is very clear on what God's best is for us -- we're instructed in I Thessalonians 5:22, "Reject every kind of evil," and then in III John 1:11 we're told, "Do not imitate what is evil but what is good." 

     "But, Kristen, you don't know what the pressure is like; everyone else let's their kids participate."  I do know a bit of what the pressure can be like and I certainly know what it's like to go against the norm . . . but better than all that, I know the liberty of walking away from all of it!

     As a family, it took us a long time to discover what October 31st should look like for our family...first, we tried just handing treats out and being a blessing to our neighbours, but then kids dressed up as ghouls, witches and creatures showed up at our door and we were exposing our then little ones to what we'd been attempting to avoid.  Next, we tried going out to do events as a family, at churches or a bowling alley, but as hard as we tried, everything still had tastes of evil in them. 

     Eventually our family found what we love, and now continue to do -- we turn out all the lights in and on our house, sneak downstairs to our rec room; our arms loaded with pizza, pop and tons of candy (cause that's what kids really want anyway), a new-to-us family game and something fun to watch together, and WE HAVE A BLAST!  We call it our "Annual Family Night" and our kids look forward to it for weeks prior.  In fact, I've discovered that our house being dark has become a silent testimony to our friends; it opens the door to share why we don't participate.

     Now some of you may have no interest in what you've just read and feel totally comfortable with the ways your family is choosing to participate in local "celebrations" in your community, and that's fine -- this is between your family and God, ultimately I have nothing to do with it.  In fact, I guarentee you that if we meet somewhere and your child tells me they are going trick-or-treating dressed up as a ________, I will think nothing less of you.  I don't want your family to become like our family, I only desire that all of our families can experience whatever God has for each of us in His best as we shine as lights for Him in a dark world.

     What I share here is intended for the many moms I hear sharing, "I don't like all this Halloween stuff that is being forced on my kids, but we don't have a choice."

     You DO have a choice -- You are the mom (or dad) God has given to direct your children in the way they should go, and that means ONLY YOU and your spouse are responsible to God for what you choose; not neighbours, not teachers, not even other family members.

     What if Daniel had stopped praying when threatened with the lion's den?  He would have never experienced God's miraculous rescue, nor the many other things God did in his life.

     What if Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego had bowed to the giant statue when threatened with a fiery furnace?  They would never have experienced God's perfect escape plan, nor have been promoted to their high positions and witnessed to thousands.

     None of us know if there will be benefit beyond the four walls of our homes, but that doesn't matter, because almost EVERYTHING we are called to be faithful with lives within those four walls!  Let God speak to your heart.  Examine whether there are areas you can step out from and look for new memories to embrace and new ways to do the old, you may be amazed.

"As obedient children, do not

conform to the evil desires

you had when you lived in ignorance.

But just as He who called you is holy,

so be holy in all you do."

I Peter 1:14 & 15 

Never Caught Up

     Have you ever felt overcome by a discouraging realization that, as moms, we will never truly be caught up?  Really, Mom, think through what we do in a given day . . .

• Laundry (clean in the morning, stained at night)
• Food (made 3 times a day, consumed 3 times a day)
• Cleaning (vacuumed/shined, messy/dirty)
• Bathing (clean in morning, filthy at night) 

     Are you crying into the sleeve of your shirt yet?  I hope not; I'm building up to some great truth, but in order to appreciate truth for what it is, we need to be in touch with the reality that surrounds us.

     For years, and I mean years, I fought, battled and struggled with my home (and sometimes family) in an effort to "catch up"!  In fact, sometimes I'd equate my life with Cinderella, just needing to get one more pile of things done for the day before I could go swirling out the figurative door to the ball.  

     When I finally BEGAN to accept that I'd never be caught up until my kids had grown and left home, I was blown away.  Is that really what these precious, crazy, wonderful years are about??? Waiting for it to be over???  Of course not!

     We only have two choices: either we embrace the fact that chaos and never-ending job lists are part and parcel with the most incredible stage of caring for our children and family, OR we wish this whole thing away and lose every blessing and precious moment that we have the opportunity to create right now!

     If it's put that way, I know which one I am jumping up and down to choose . . . my family!  But if we fail to see what we are tossing away when we let the ensuing waves of exhausting moments overwhelm us, we'll miss some of the best gifts God is trying to give us.

     So if you can; join me in accepting the reality that although we may not "catch up" for the next 20 years, we can choose today to embrace the joys around us!  Remember moms, none of us has to look further than our subdivision to find a woman who cries herself to sleep each night because she isn't able to have a child.  We're blessed, even if we are exhausted!

"Put your hope in God

who richly provides us

with everything for our

enjoyment."

I Timothy 6:17

Rise Up

     There are days . . .  You know, the ones where you ask yourself, "Am I really making any difference?"  "Do my children really hear me?"  "Am I even cut out for this mothering role?"

     I already know the answers to each of those questions, even if you are wobbling in your mind today; they are Yes and Yes and YES!  In fact, somehow God in His wonderful way seems to take days that our feet feel the heaviest on and our throats a little hoarse from frustration and make them some of our most effective.  Is it because of us?  No, it's because God promised us that when we were weak, He would be strong.

     Have you asked Him to be that for you today?
     God, please be strong for me, cause I am feeling weak.

     Words from a quote by Abraham Lincoln jumped off the page for me this week as I read something He said, "God bless my mother; all that I am or ever hope to be I owe to her."

     Do you know that if we are faithful now -- today -- this week -- then someday, the Bible tells us that our children will rise up and call us blessed?  That is the hope of what is to come . . . the reward that lies in the future.  Right now, we are to keep loving those sticky faces and hugging those grimy shoulders and believing God's best about each of our children even in the moments we feel like hope is only a distant glimmer.  Don't lose hope, our children's words may resonate with those of Abraham Lincoln someday IF we do not give up.

"Her children arise and call

her blessed; her husband also,

and he praises her."

Proverbs 31:28

Serious Cravings

     We've been on lots of productive farms and inside lots of smelly barns, but a recent trip has topped all the rest.  As we brushed the cobwebs away from our faces and side-stepped the crusty deposits on the floor; we anxiously followed the sounds to the back row of stalls in an attempt to discover the source the raucous noises.

     There, in front of us, were the hungriest, noisiest and funniest little piglets we'd ever seen.  Our family stood and watched them for quite a while as they ravenously prodded and slurped from their mother, and I pondered two things...
     # 1 - I had it very easy nursing my babies compared to this poor mother pig
     # 2 - Is this what God had in mind when He told us to crave spiritual milk?

     Reflecting on I Peter 2:2, I see where we're encouraged -- no, told -- to rid ourselves of everything that could threaten to bring us down, and become like babies, "Crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, now that you have tasted that the Lord is good."

     I don't want to be dishonoring to God in any way, but truly, if I craved His Word and time in His presence daily like those piglets obviously were craving their mother's milk, would I not be passionately pressing into God at a whole new level?

     That same verse says after we've tasted that the Lord is good . . . most of us have already seen Him move in our lives in some way and we DO know He's good, but we are we craving Him?


     We get so caught up in the chasing of everything this world has to offer EXCEPT FOR God, that I imagine His heart must feel broken time and again.


     Jesus said it'd be when we hunger and thirst that we'd be satisfied -- that means a desperate desire on our part.  Just like those little piglets, may we all be desiring more of God, now that we have tasted and seen that He is good.

"Blessed are those who

hunger and thirst for 

righteousness."

Matthew 5:6

Adoring Eyes



     The baby-blue eyes glanced my way, waiting for a nod of approval.  I lifted two thumbs high in the air and threw him back a smile.  Then watched as his grin started on his lips and moved all the way up to his eyes.  His head cocked and I savoured what I have come to recognize as adoring eyes.

     My heart soared for a moment and then a shadow fell.  These may be the last of the adoring eyes I savour in my lifetime, I thought.  The realization came heavy and unwelcoming.  Parenting brings such extreme joy and such great challenge combined, but one of my favourite rewards has definitely been the opportunity to be loved so unreservedly.

     The short years we are given to be the heroine in a little one's eyes is an incredible gift -- and all too soon the sun sets on that stage of motherhood.

     Have I treasured it enough?

     Have I earned their respect?

     Have I used these days to establish the foundations required for the rest of the journey?

     I'll never cease being amazed that God entrusts little ones to us, even for a season, never.  The gift of a little heart that trusts you, little eyes that look at you so longingly with a smile that shines as big as a rainbow, will be embedded in my mind for my lifetime.

     But when the days get hard, we forget that the sun will ever set.  When the moments don't hold adoring eyes, we lose sight of the treasures we are standing beside.  This shouldn't be!

     One of my favourite classic films is Fiddler on the Roof, and as much as I square my shoulders and determine I will not cry at the wedding of their daughter, I always do.  The song shared by the mother and father moves my heart at the deepest levels, as they sing...

     Sunrise, sunset

     Sunrise, sunset

     Swiftly fly the years

     One season following another

     Laden with happiness and tears

     May we desire that, no matter the stage of mothering we find ourselves in, whether happiness or tears, that as the sun sets on one season and rises on another, we won't ever forget the richness of what God has entrusted to us!  He is the giver of good gifts and we are blessed to have beheld -- even for a moment -- those adoring eyes.

"Children are a gift 

from the Lord;

they are a reward from Him."

Psalm 127:3