Only One Resolution Needed

Get in shape?  Read more?  More down time?  Lose Weight?  Travel more?  Pray longer?  

What do you say when you are asked the question, "What are your New Year's resolutions for this year?" 

I don't think there is anything wrong with asking the question, nor the discipline of setting goals for the new year.  We all need time to pause and reflect on what we would like to change or do differently in our lives, and what more natural point than going into a new year?  And yet, when I evaluate my own life and listen to others around me share, I feel we are burdened by setting goals that we anticipate we won't be able to keep.  What is more, we often place a lot of pressure on ourselves to fix numerous items at one time, when we know that it is hard to work on more than one thing at a time.

Just for fun, I googled the most common resolutions people set, and found that they all had to do with overall health for ourselves, things like; more time with friends, more exercise, breaking bad habits, getting out of debt, learning something new.  Without becoming too inwardly focused, it is a good thing to look at what parts of our lives need to be changed.  It is also helpful to evaluate those areas and see where we are at and compare it to where we feel we should be...but over time I have found I only need one real resolution. 

This has become my annual new year's resolution - and the only one I need - to spend time knowing God and growing in His Word.  Now before you write that off as boring or not really applicable, realize what that resolution does with the most popular resolutions that people chose.  God tells us in His Word how to build healthy relationships, how the Spirit can grow us in self-control, how to make wise choices with our finances, and on it goes.  The Bible says in Proverbs 8:35 that, "Whoever finds me (wisdom), finds life and receives favour from the Lord."  This is where all of the rest of life should be shaped ~ by God's wisdom pouring into our lives.

Don't let me discourage you from setting some new resolutions for your new year, especially if you have found you are one of the few that carry them out and make real change.  BUT if you are someone that feels like you have failed before you have begun, then consider trying something new - only resolve to be in God's presence each day, Bible in hand and say, "God what do you have for me today?  What can I change, grow in or work on, WITH YOUR HELP, that will move me closer towards what you have for me?"

Be blessed as you anticipate all that lies ahead and have a truly Happy New Year!

"I know what I am doing.  I have it all planned out - plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.  When you call on Me, when you come and pray to Me, I'll listen.  When you come looking for Me, you'll find Me.  Yes, when you get serious about finding Me and want it more than anything else, I'll make sure you won't be disappointed.  I'll turn things around for you." 

(Jeremiah 29:11-13 in the Message)

God's Word Always Speaks

It never ceases to amaze me how God's Word, the Bible, can speak...no matter where we turn in it, and no matter what we are going through.  We are told in Hebrews 4:12 that, "The Word of God is LIVING and ACTIVE.  Sharper than any double-edged sword...it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart."  I don't know about you, but over the holidays is especially the time I need help in monitoring the thoughts and attitudes of my heart.  It seems so easy for wrong motives to sneak in or unkind words to slip out. 

During the busyness of travel, family and holidays - although we have shared some devotionals as a family, I have missed taking consistent time alone in the Word.  Sporadic here and there, never replaces that regular time of immersing myself in what God has to say to me and show me. As I curled up this morning with the Word, I wondered how I could have allowed that to happen? How is it possible to neglect my relationship with the One who knows me best, and wants more for me than any other? How can I allow it to become stale for even a day? When I turned in my Bible, I came to I Kings 17:7 where it says, "Some time later the brook dried up because there had been no rain in the land." As I read those words, I felt they described how I was beginning to feel inside - dry. As the verse implies, we don't become dry overnight, it says some time later, but I know the difference when I am heading that direction of drying up and when I am well watered.

Just as our sweet children allow us to pick them up in our arms - and they experience safety and security - we need our Heavenly Father to pick us up, water us well and prepare us to move into the next things He has for us.  Because of His love and grace, there is no place of "earning the right" to come to Him - because of the cross, we can run into His arms with freedom and safety.  The only thing that can keep us from that place of our Father's arms is: listening to the words of the enemy who will try to tell us we don't deserve it, or ourselves not taking time to come to the Word and ask God to speak - He always will!

Run into those arms and let Him love you and speak to you today - there is no reason to be dry, when we are being offered fresh, living water.  Jesus said in John 7:38, "WHOEVER believes in me...streams of living water will flow from within him."  May we be filled with the Father's love and refreshed with the living water of the Spirit, pouring fresh into our lives.

Truly Thankful

I had the privilege of overhearing a sweet exchange between a parent and a child recently, while I was sitting in a restaurant.  At the completion of their meal, the little girl, who could not have been older than six, looked up to her dad and said, "Thank you so much for such a wonderful supper, Daddy, it was really good."  I was touched by her sincerity, but even more so by knowing it was voluntarily offered and not reminded.  It caused me to think of how often we have worked with our children to remind them to express thankfulness, and how amazed I am that these expressive moments rarely come naturally - they are taught.

It is valuable information to know that the good things we want to see our children modeling are not going to come naturally.  To a certain extent, if we demonstrate thankfulness they will duplicate it, but we need to take it further than hoping they copy us.  We need to teach thankfulness, encourage thankfulness and expect thankfulness.  Going into the holidays is a good time to put into practice simple reminders for the younger children in our lives, that will assist them into the social settings they may find themselves in.  We have tried to share our expectations with our children, before we arrive at a new destination or before our guests arrive, of what we would like to see them remember to say and do.  With our older children, it may be as simple as reminding them to hold out their hand to greet our guests and offer to take their coats; and with our younger ones it is the reminders of saying please and thank you, as well as looking our friends in the eyes and smiling when they are spoken to.

I have to be honest in telling you that as our first children began to grow a little older, I was disappointed at how much they didn't remember what they were taught.  We would go somewhere and I would need to gently whisper to say please or  use a hand sign to them for thank you - not just once or twice, but over and over.  I really thought I was doing something wrong - why aren't they able to remember this?  I would wonder.  Have you ever noticed how other people's children can seem more well behaved or grateful than our own?  But what I began to notice over a lot of time was that I wasn't reminding them nearly as often; and now as I watch my oldest ones I have often found they go above and beyond what I would have asked or expected of them and it comes naturally to them. 

My only intention in sharing these thoughts, is to encourage you - especially if your children are young - that as in most things, kids do not learn thankfulness overnight.  It is normal and good to gently and patiently remind them lots of times of what we need and expect of them.  It is not a reason to lower our expectations of their behaviour but certainly a good reminder to keep our expectations reasonable of the time frame in which they learn these things.  As with so many other points in parenting - "Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old (that means much, much later) he will not turn from it."  (Proverbs 22:6)

Remember, as we instruct them with God's words from the Bible we will lay a foundation that they will not forget - one of our children's favourite stories on thankfulness is when Jesus healed the ten lepers.  Whenever we would read in Luke 17 about Jesus choosing to heal ten men from such an awful disease and only one came back to say thank you, our children would feel very sad.  "How could the other nine not say thank you to Jesus?" they would ask.  This became a perfect lead in, to examples we were working on, like how could we not remember to say thank you to the person that did _______ for us?

Watch for ways to be an example, set a standard, share stories and make it fun.  Being thankful is a gift we can give others, it shouldn't be a chore for us or our children, but a wonderful way to let others know we appreciate them.  Most of all, if we continue to express, out loud, our thankfulness to God and all He does for us and gives to us every day, we will make an impression that will be engraved on their hearts for years to come!

On High Alert

I realize it may not seem very festive to speak of being on high alert - spiritually speaking - over the Christmas holidays, but I feel I would be wrong not to remind us all that the enemy doesn't take a vacation.  Even worse, I am suspicious that his plans may include ramping up the pressure to a certain degree, when it comes to the celebration of Jesus' birth and time shared together with friends and family.  Oh, but that is not fair - you may say - it is our week off, I don't want to think about those things.  Is it not far better to think about those things and feel slightly less festive, than to ignore them and give the enemy an opportunity to add chaos to our festivities?  Let me explain...

The Bible warns us many times of the devil's strategies - he comes to steal, kill and destroy; he roars around like a lion looking for those he can devour; he has flaming arrows; and on it goes.  As I think of the holidays, it makes me think of the times our government can become informed of threats of terrorist activity in our countries and they take the regular alert and increase its warning, to a high alert.  As un-festive as this may seem, try to think of the holidays this way and see if it doesn't make a difference for you this year. 

I don't speak of going into Christmas afraid - not at all - remember God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind; and greater is He who is in us, than he that is in the world.  We have nothing to fear with God on our side - but we do need to be aware and take due diligence.  If we knew that there was an increased chance our children were in danger of going missing by visiting Disney World, would it mean we would never take them, or go and have a miserable time? Neither should be true - we would go and have a wonderful time, but we would be more alert and cautious.  Same is true for the holidays - don't be fearful, don't let thoughts of the enemy frighten you in any way, but be on alert and be cautious.

Take some time and read through and apply the wisdom of Ephesians 6 - it is a good review at any time of the year, but at Christmas I  think it helps us be aware of some of the enemy's tricks.  It says in Ephesians 6:10,11&18, that we are to, "Be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power.  Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes.  For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers...and powers...and forces of evil in the heavenly realms...With this in mind, BE ALERT."  When we can recognize that some of the challenges we face as we gather with extended family, or even our own families, over the holidays, are really our battle in the spiritual realm, it puts the focus in proper perspective.  Often frustrations that are directed at family members and an offense they may cause, really should be directed at the enemy and the damage he may be trying to do in our family.  When we can recognize this, we can fight the true enemy and put right perspective to the relationships around us.

Please don't go into the holidays with any fear - go into them with full anticipation of all the good things God has for you and yours, but just as you would at Disney World, keep an extra snug hold on your family members and an eye that is scanning for any danger.  Enjoy these moments, celebrating Christ's birth.  It is because He came that we have the authority to stand against the enemy this Christmas!

Unwrapping the Wrapping Paper of Life

It is definitely the time of year to think about giving gifts! I don't know about you, but as a parent, I get far more excitement out of giving my children gifts than I could ever experience in getting them.  I spend months in advance carefully listening for clues of what they might be hoping for, watching in stores for ideas of something they might like and then secretly tucking items away until that special morning.  In our family, we only give two gifts per child; one from mom and dad, and the other from the sibling who drew their name in a draw.  This has helped us keep the day balanced in remembering Jesus really is the true meaning of Christmas, while still savouring the joy of receiving and giving gifts - it also means we put great effort into choosing just the right gift.

I was reminded this week, as I wrapped presents and thought hopefully towards our children opening them, that God is the greatest giver.  In fact, when it comes to giving gifts - He refers to us as evil in comparison to how well He gives gifts.  Now before you take offense - think about that - He is trying to show how abundantly better He chooses and wraps up presents in life for you and me, than we ever could.  When it comes to unwrapping the wrapping paper of life, we are blessed by a God who loves to give!  Matthew 7:9-11 tries to paint a picture of this for us, when it says, "Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone?  Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake?  If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask Him!"

I know that some of us may be pre-programmed to think that this must be speaking to wealth and prosperity, but don't shut it down so fast.  This is God's Word and we need to read it for what it says -  God is our parent, and the Bible tells us over and over that He loves to give gifts; it also says that He gives good gifts when we ASK Him.  This puts the responsibility back on us, doesn't it?  When we open the wrapping paper of life, are we expecting nothing from God?  Something chintzy because we are not really thinking He is listening?  Or do we understand the magnitude of which our Father God loves and cares for us, and do we comprehend that He wants to do this for us?  If our children didn't think we cared, would they bother asking for anything?  Probably not - but when they know how much we love them and that we want to have presents under the tree for them, do you not find you hear more than a few suggestions of what they would really love to have?

Once we have asked, then it is Father God who makes the final decisions.  Do you remember in a previous post that I shared I needed to make a tough decision on a toy that my son wanted but I knew would not last him?  I had to choose to do something else, even though that is what he thought he wanted - I am absolutely sure he will love what has been done in place of that even more.  Similarily, I believe that is the way God chooses to work -  He may know of something even better for us than what we have asked for, but we can be assurred that it will be GOOD and it will be for our BEST!

Pour our your heart to God today, and each day - share with Him your longing and desires for what you need and want!  And most importantly, let it flow from your love for your Father God who loves you perfectly.  Trust Him - we are not submitting a wish list to a Santa in the sky; this is our Creator God, who knows us intimately, loves us completely and longs to give us what is best.  It flows out of a relationship with the one who loves us most!

Expect What You are Not Expecting

As time goes along, I have not only learned that there are many things in life that I can count on, but there are also many more things that I cannot count on.  Years ago, I was known to quote the expression - "Expect the least and you won't be disappointed", but my husband challenged me that this wasn't good thinking nor did not line up with God's truth.  I began to retrain myself to not let that expression slip out and instead began thinking more positively and expectantly! 

This year, as we were preparing for Christmas, one of our children expressed great anticipation in a toy that they really wanted to receive for Christmas.  Unfortunately for that child, I had already gone to the store and looked at the toy they had requested and made the decision that we wouldn't give it to them.  My reasons were that I knew the novelty would quickly wear off and I didn't feel it was a quality toy that would benefit them in any way, even though it fit within the budget of what I could spend.  In order to prepare their heart, I let them know that they needed to begin expecting what they were not expecting.  What?  To look forward to something that they didn't know what it would be.

This led me to think about God, and His love and activity in my life.  How often am I disappointed because I don't get what I am hoping for, even though in the long run I get something much better?  I have been known to express frustration when things don't work out the way I would chose and yet, rarely, do I look back on the change and wish it were different  in the end.  If we are really going to take God at His Word, when we are told in Romans 8:28, that "In ALL things God works for the good of those who love Him," then we better be willing to expect what we are not expecting.

There is a song by Garth Brooks called "Unanswered Prayers" that tells the story of a man meeting up with an old girlfriend that he had longed to marry many years before.  It comes out that he had prayed over and over that she would become his wife, but God didn't answer that prayer.  Then as he looks over at the wife He loved and God had chosen, he says...

Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers, 
Remember when you're talking to the man upstairs,
That just because He may not answer,
Doesn't mean He don't care,
Some of God's greatest gifts...are unanswered prayers.

Rest in knowing that we can expect what we are not expecting with God and we will not be disappointed!

Why So Downcast?

The day seemed heavy, the tasks too large, the sky dark, the bickering loud, the to do list never ending, the stairs long, and my heart low.  What was wrong?  I really don't know.  Have you ever had days like that when you just can't put your finger on the real problem?  The best way I could have described myself was, as David said in the Bible, downcast.

So what did I do?  Nothing but keep whispering David's verse from Psalm 42:5, "Why are you downcast, O my soul?  Why so disturbed within me?  Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Saviour and my God."  I struggled through the entire day and probably quoted that verse 20+ times, till I finally fell into bed near midnight, glad to go to sleep and whisper a quiet prayer for the next day. 

The better question is -  what should I have done?  Hindsight, they say, is 20 / 20 ~ I wish I had taken the time to put in a worship CD and sing my heart out, because I know from many times before when we put on a "garment of praise" it deals with a "spirit of heaviness".  Or I could have called my husband and asked him to pray with me - but those thoughts eluded me.  I feel like I merely survived the day, and yet...

I believe God allows us to go through times like those in order to lean heavy on Him and know He is there.  The Word says in II Corinthians 7:6, that, "God...comforts the downcast."  That is how I felt.  At the end of the day; bone tired and emotionally weary, I was very aware of God's comfort and thankful for it.  The verse from Psalms kept truth and perspective before me, even though the day was hard.

We live in a time when we all want to be "fixed" right away, but that is not reality.  Sometimes reality is doing our best and staying close to God in those times...giving up on perfect and just being real in His strength, while reciting His wonderful Word until it reaches the deepest parts of ourselves.  After the rain, the sun seems to shine even brighter than before!

Giving Knowledge

I find reminders around me constantly that reveal how much our generation does not believe that there are any absolutes in life, or any true sense of right or wrong.  What a difficult time to train up children...and yet God gives us everything we need to do the job, IF we turn to Him and trust in Him.  So how do we navigate training our children when there are no clear answers around us?  Hosea 4:6 says that, "My (God's) people are destroyed from lack of knowledge."  That means that when God's people did not understand what was needed, they did not survive.  This refers to people who were personally acknowledging God, not just the general population.  If that is the case, what is the knowledge we - and our children - need to have, in order to avoid destroying our lives?

I believe with all my heart the knowledge we need is an understanding of God's truth, found in the Bible.  God, as Creator, made us and our world to function on biblical values, and when those are ignored, we slide into chaos - just as we are seeing demonstrated all around us.  BUT that does not mean we have to follow anyone down that slippery slope, nor allow our children to follow either.  God told us right from the beginning, that our job as parents was to lay the foundations in our children's hearts DAILY - as we rise, as we walk, as we lie down...it is serious business and should be of highest priority in our families.  This is the true foundation of eternal value - which also helps put perspective to ballet lessons, hockey and anything else we feel is of value for our children.  I am not saying those things can't be part of our lives, but we need to be sure that laying God's foundations remains top priority.  These are the formative years, when we have a brief window and privilege to lay values based on God's truths that can last a lifetime and help them navigate the waters they will have to face.

Why are these foundations so key?  God has promised in the book of Isaiah that when His word goes out, it will not return void but accomplish what He desires.  We know that God desires godly values and principles to be planted into the hearts of our children, but it doesn't happen without serious effort.  I don't mean that the experience is "serious", but we should find ourselves so full of God's Word ourselves that it flows out into the practical applications of life with our children.  I had  a real life example of this recently with my four year old, as he came to me and shared something special; he said, "Mommy, I wanted to take something that didn't belong to me, but I didn't, because I remembered that God says we shouldn't steal." I was blessed in that moment, because it was God and His Word that did not return void - not my wonderful parenting skills.  More and more, I am convinced that the only hope for our children is the Word of God planted deeply in them.

Will we see the benefits right away?  Absolutely not!  That same little four year old was guilty of hitting his sister less than an hour later.  He knew that God's Word says we are to be loving and kind, but as I brought Scripture to apply to a new situation, his heart was stirred and he again became aware of what he had done wrong and made things right.  I wish I could tell you that there is an easier way, but there isn't - it is God's truth applied over and over and over again in our children's lives that is going to reap the harvest.
May we not be found part of the people who are destroyed for lack of knowledge, but instead be like the people described in Psalm 1, where it says, "(They) are like trees planted by streams of water, which yield their fruit in season and whose leaf does not whither.  Whatever they do, prospers."

Rear Guard in Parenting

There are days in parenting - many, in fact - that I can feel that I am in over my head with the issues I face as a mom.  Do you have days like that?  It is during those times that we need to keep the perspective of Who gave these children to us to raise and that His desire for them to flourish is even greater than our own.  There is a verse in Isaiah that paints a picture of one of the ways God is with us, that has powerfully impacted me.  It says in Isaiah 52:12, "The Lord will go before you, and the God of Israel will be your rear guard."  Can you picture that with me?  If God is before us AND behind us as our rear guard - is there any place that we are not protected?  No, He has us covered, watching over from the front and the back.

When I have felt that I cannot possibly deal with the issues facing me in parenting, this is one of the verses that God has brought to remind me of His ability to work through these times with me.  I was reminded of this recently, when I was facing an attitude issue with one of my children in the way they were treating their siblings.  This child was completely resisting my encouragement and designated consequences that I was implementing to try and modify their behaviour, and the treatment of siblings was declining.  Finally, out of frustration (and I am not sure this was the best way to handle it but God was faithful), I told this child that I was not sure what was going on in their heart but they needed to get alone and figure it out because the behaviour toward siblings could not continue.  This child came back to me only moments later with a smile on their face and a look of shock...here is why.  They had walked back into the school room and picked up their Handwriting workbook (which is based on scripture verses), with still no further desire to change their own heart, God had stepped in.  This child told me, "Mom, of all the days to write out a verse, let alone the verse that was chosen - I can't believe this one.  I know God is trying to speak to me." The verse was from Proverbs 11:17 & 18 and it read, "Your own soul is nourished when you are kind; it is destroyed when you are cruel...the good man's reward lasts forever."  I have to tell you that the fruit of God dealing with my child, after I had done my best, were night and day.  This child enjoyed the rest of the day with a peaceful heart and a kindness to siblings that was unmatched from weeks prior.  God was before me and behind me as a rear guard so clearly that day, as I gave my meager offering in attempting to parent, He stepped in and blew me out of the water.

Obviously, this does not mean that I will not have issues again on this topic, with this child; but as in the past when God has spoken to one of them, there is a reference point to go back to.  There is far more fruit when God becomes personally involved in our parenting, than when we try to do it alone.  Ask God to be your rear guard and back you on issues you may be facing as you train up your children in the way they need to go - He will be faithful.

Christmas is Coming...So is Jesus

As we enter into the Christmas season, I find myself almost as guilty as our children in the anticipation of a few gifts to open and the fun our family will share around the tree.  I do not feel that this is a bad thing to share in the natural excitement, but it has caused my heart to ponder my sometimes lack of anticipation of a much greater event - Jesus' return!  For as much as Jesus came to earth as a baby, grew up and lived among humankind; He has promised His return is coming and great things are in store for those who have accepted Him and love Him.

God has challenged my heart as I am moving towards Christmas and all that our family will enjoy; to let it be a reminder and reflection of where my heart needs to be year-round, in regards to Jesus and His promised coming.  There is much told to us in the New Testament of how wonderful heaven will be, of the magnitude of the event when Jesus returns and of the surety of it.  When I think about our Christmas tree - I can hope that I might get what I want for Christmas, but it is very likely that when I open my few gifts I may need to smile and be appreciative, while swallowing a bit of disappointment because what I have opened does not look like what I might have wanted.  BUT not with Jesus! 

The Bible tells us in I Corinthians 2:9 that, "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him."  I don't know about you, but when it comes to Christmas - if I was told to imagine the biggest gift possible and money was no object (which is not the case) - I am sure I could imagine pretty big!  How much more will we be amazed when we see all that Jesus has prepared for us if He has been working on it for 2,000 years?

Don't let me steal your joy in the anticipation of the season, but allow me to add a reminder to the reason for the season of celebrating Jesus' birth - look with expectancy to all that is in store for us in eternity (that means forever and ever and ever, by the way).  Revelation 22:20, being the second last verse in the whole Bible, should carry some weight in our lives, when it says, "'Yes, I am coming soon.'  Amen.  Come, Lord Jesus."

Enjoy the season in the present, with your heart looking forward to the future.

Patience in the Kitchen & Everywhere Else

Oh, to have more patience! Is that not the whispered prayer of every mother you meet?  We know in our hearts that God must have more for us than frustration in moments of pressure, and yet, it is often hard to rise above those emotions.  I am glad to say that as we continue to press into God, over time, He takes us to new levels of patience that we would not have imagined possible - but I am sorry to say, it is not instantaneous.

When I think back to my early days of baking in the kitchen with my children, as an example; I remember lots of moments of fun, that blend together with moments of mommy's significant lack of patience.  It was not the way I wanted to be, but due to having my own set of standards and expectations, I often found my patience was what was lacking.  As I have grown as a mom and a woman, I have found God has done, and definitely continues to do, a deep work in my heart which has allowed patience to increase.  Now when eggs drop on the counter (see above) it can be time for laughter and not frustration.  Know what your areas of greatest weakness in excericising patience are and ask God to help you with that specifically.  When the Bible speaks of patience, it is recognized as one of the fruits that the Spirit produces in us and not just something that comes from "trying harder".  The most important step we can take, is to continue to ask God to fill us with His Spirit, in order to walk out the daily moments in the ways He would have us to.

It is challenging, as a mom, to find the balance in our lives that keeps us from being too hard on ourselves when we do lose our cool; and yet, NEVER settling for acceptance that lack of patience must be just the way we are.  We are told in the Word that LOVE is patient (I Cor.13), and we are called to be patient with everyone (I Thess. 5).  God would not tell us these things if they were not achievable - so don't accept your current situation (that is, if you feel you struggle in lacking patience) as the final answer to this problem. 

Press into God and ask Him to grow more patience in you; and do not believe the lie that it means He will just bring more troubles your way.  That is one of the most overused arguments I have ever heard around the topic of praying for patience - we know that God never allows more than we can handle and He works ALL things for our good, so we should welcome all areas of life as opportunities to grow.  Remember some of the most beautiful flowers that are in the world, are often found growing in the most challenging of environments; if we want God to grow in us a fragrance that blesses our family and others, we need to be open to God's gardening in our lives.

As we spend time in God's Word, we will grow in understanding and wisdom, and as Proverbs 19:11, "A person's wisdom makes him slow to anger."  As we become wise to God's ways, we will grow in applying His truth to the moments of frustration that we will encounter.  Don't give up in growing in patience!

Dark Bundles

I have noticed, as I walk this path of life, that when things are going well, I feel light and free; but when the times of challenge come, a heaviness can settle over me and the darkness can feel so close.  I have learned that mountains (light) and valleys (dark) are not an unusual part of life; both are necessary for healthy growth.  But what is not healthy, is when we are in the dark trying to find our own way out; instead of allowing God to help us, and if need be, carry us.

I recently came across a beautiful retelling of a dream that radically changed one woman's view of her life - it lifted her out of the darkness and placed her into the light.  This happened because she realized the heavy burdens, or as the dream says - dark bundles, were not what God ever intended for her to carry.  Let me share it here, in its original form - taken from Streams in the Desert, written in 1925...

An eminent Christian worker tells of his mother who was a very anxious and troubled Christian. He would talk with her by the hour trying to convince her of the sinfulness of fretting, but to no avail.  But one morning the mother came down to breakfast wreathed in smiles. He asked her what had happened, and she told him that in the night she had a dream.
She was walking along a highway with a great crowd of people who seemed so tired and burdened. They were nearly all carrying little black bundles, and she noticed that there were numerous repulsive looking beings which she thought were demons dropping these black bundles for the people to pick up and carry. Like the rest, she too had her needless load, and was weighed down with the devil’s bundles. Looking up, after a while, she saw a Man with a bright and loving face, passing hither and thither through the crowd, and comforting the people.
At last He came near her, and she saw that it was her Saviour. She looked up and told Him how tired she was, and He smiled sadly and said: “My dear child, I did not give you these loads; you have no need of them. They are the devil’s burdens and they are wearing out your life. Just drop them; refuse to touch them with one of your fingers and you will find the path easy and you will be as if borne on eagle’s wings.”
He touched her hand, and look, peace and joy thrilled her frame and, flinging down her burden, she was about to throw herself at His feet in joyful thanksgiving, when suddenly she awoke and found that all her cares were gone. From that day to the close of her life she was the most cheerful and happy member of the household.

What a witness to the reality of where many of our burdens, or dark bundles, come from - but a far more important reality is portrayed by showing us where our lightness and freedom can and should be coming from in our lives.  The enemy wants us to be so burdened down with "life" that we fail to see what God has made available to us - the freedom to truly soar, as on eagle's wings. 

If we would see that we do not need to take up those bundles, but instead cast our cares on our God who cares for us, we could rise above the places where the darkness tries to overcome us and be set free!

Psalm 81:6 "I removed the burden from their shoulders;

 their hands were set free."

Smile

Smiles...they are free, they are beautiful, they are contagious, they don't expire, they don't run out...why don't we use them all the time?  Have you ever noticed from time to time, especially when life feels a little too full and busy, that you have had a very serious look on your face for a good part of the day.  Sometimes, for me, one of our children will draw my attention to it, by asking if something is wrong; or often it is simply by the act of smiling that I realize it has been a long day and maybe I haven't smiled much at all.  To me, that is an indication that my joy meter may be low.

Why bother smiling anyway?  Aside from the reasons already given above, I like the fact that smiles almost always double - it is wonderful to smile at someone you love and see their face light up as they smile back.  I know that I often take life too seriously, and as I glance around and see my precious family around me, I am reminded to relax and let go of the stresses of life and enjoy what I have been blessed with.  Consistently, when I am smiling, my children are smiling and happier too.  I want my children to remember their mom as someone who was JOY-filled!  Smiles and laughter play a big part in that - but as in so many other things in life, sometimes we have to DO IT before we FEEL IT!

I once read an article by mother of eight - Teri Maxwell, in which she wrote about the importance of choosing to smile even when she didn't want to.  She was sharing about a time of struggling through depression when she realized she was so low, that her children were rarely seeing her smile anymore.  She was asking God to heal her, but it wasn't happening instantly - so, she determined that from the moment she would leave her bedroom in the morning, there would be a smile on her face, whether she felt that way inside or not.  An amazing thing happened, as she tells the story - not only were her children amazed that she was smiling, she started to feel things change - slowly, one day at a time!  And, her children were so excited to see her happy that everyone else increased drastically in their joy and happiness!  What a testimony to the power of a smile.

Another thing I have observed with our family, is that when I am helping my children learn something; whether it is tying shoes, reading, baking, etc., they are so much more relaxed to learn from me if I am smiling and positive.  There are so many times it is just more "natural" to wear a frown, but I like what the character from the movie, Annie used to say ~ You're never fully dressed without a smile!  Whether we are lacking joy or just tired from lack of sleep, the habit of smiling is well worth growing in.

It really boils down to one of the fruits of the Spirit; don't just try to manufacture it on you own, ask the Holy Spirit to fill you with joy.  You can't be full of joy and not have it bubble up from deep within, it says in Galatians 5:22 that, "The fruit of the Spirit is love, JOY..."  One of my children has an ongoing tendency to try and act upset, even if he is happy on the inside; all I need to do to turn him around is to ask him if he has a smile hiding, and he can't help it - out it pops.  If the Spirit fills us with joy - we will be the same way, we won't be able to keep that smile hidden.

The next time you feel overwhelmed or down, instead of losing your cool or looking grumpy; ask the Lord to fill you with His Spirit, that you may walk out the day in His strength.  Then, try a smile - see if your whole day doesn't turn around!

II Corinthians 3:18 "We, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory,

are being transformed into His likeness with ever-increasing glory,

which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit."

Not Just About What We Want

This morning as I stared at the toilet in my bathroom, the first thought that crossed my mind was, "I don't want to clean the toilet."  Fortunately for my family, the next immediate thought was, "It doesn't matter if I want to or not, it needs to be done and I just need to DO IT."  I am embarrassed to tell you how often I have these thoughts of "want to" versus "not want to" go through my head - I love a clean and organized house, but rarely do I love the effort it takes to maintain one.  God and time have slowly taught me to let go of what I want, and focus on what is required, but it is still a daily battle.

Why do I share this?  To give you permission not to clean your toilets as much?  No, it is to encourage you to keep doing (or start doing) what needs to be done.  Sometimes - no most times - I spend more time dreading and wishing away common duties, than the time it takes to just do them.  A few weeks ago, I carved out some time in an afternoon to defrost and clean out our freezer.  Now this might not seem like a big deal to many, but if you could have seen inside my head, you would have known I had spent far too much time wishing it didn't have to be done, instead of just doing it.  I have often thought that if the same amount of energy I applied to dreading the tasks, was applied to getting them done, I would be much further ahead.

I am not wanting to drive anyone to becoming more of a perfectionist; in fact, I have watched God set me free of many of those tendencies over time, and for this I am very grateful.  Each of us will have a standard that we feel needs to be maintained:  something that brings balance to the number of people living in our home, the way our husbands appreciate things looking, the stage we are at with babies and what we can handle, etc...  The important thing is to know what is reasonably required to keep your home in the way you feel it should be, given the stage you are at in life.  Once you have determined that, you just need to break down the tasks of what it takes to achieve that in a given day / week / month, and commit to stick to it, regardless of whether you "want to" or not.

An example for me, is that I love to be able to keep my bedroom inviting ,and know it is clean and welcoming - for myself and my husband.  Therefore, this requires that every morning when I get out of bed, the first thing I do (even though I don't "want to") is make the bed carefully and nicely.  It only takes a few moments, but once it is done the whole room is transformed.  I also like the bathrooms to look and smell fresh, which requires that the toilets are cleaned on a regular basis - so whether I "want to" or not, I clean (or now some of my kids have to clean) the toilets on certain days.  Not only has this allowed me to keep our home in a way that is always ready for drop in guests, it has modeled to our children that tasks are done whether we "want to" or not.

Proverbs 31:27 says of the amazing woman of old, that she, "Watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness."  When I choose to not eat the bread of of idleness, and I do watch over the affairs of my household; I find great satisfaction and joy.  Why - just because my house is clean?  No, I believe it is because I am walking in the path that God designed for me to walk in.  When we choose to care for our families in what needs to be done, we will find greater satisfaction than could ever be found by pampering ourselves in what we want to have done.

Just Do the Next Thing

Have you ever looked around your house, and all there is to do, and just wanted to cry? Or maybe you really have cried...don't feel bad, that seems to be the reality of certain days and times during this journey of parenting. But I do have some good news ~ I've discovered an effective way to tackle mess when it threatens to overtake our homes.

Many years ago, I watched a video set by Elisabeth Elliot entitled A Peaceful Home, and found it full of wonderful truths; but what impacted me more than anything else, were four little words that she suggested ~ "DO THE NEXT THING!" Elisabeth expanded on this principle and shared ways that were practical to bring order, but there was nothing new or surprising. The fruit of the whole teaching for me truly seemed to come from hearing that expression.

I have applied DO THE NEXT THING for more than ten years now and still find myself using it; but because it had become so routine I had not considered sharing it until one of our recent Mom's Nights, in the spring. A few months later, I had some moms came back and tell me that they now have the expression running through their heads when they are trying to tackle their houses with all that needs to be done, and it has helped them tremendously. This caused me to realize that it was not just benefiting me, and therefore it should be passed along.

So, how can you transform your life with these four little words? The only way to do that, that I know of, is for me to walk you through what I do when every room in my house seems to be in disarray (maybe it won't work for you, but give it a try). So, here it goes...

    Let's imagine on any given day, that as I pause at noon and take inventory of what has been happening on various levels and in various rooms; I find a significant amount of chaos in each area (not very hard to imagine, so far, is it?). The first thing I would do, is call the children to the areas that I know they can handle working on to start sorting and cleaning (I realize if you have only babies and toddlers this requires moms doing most of the work - but don't worry, it will pay off for you later). Next, I would go to the room I find most important for me to have in order and start working there until it is back to my standard (that room and standard may be different for each of us, so apply what you would do - for me it is my kitchen and clear counters is my standard). Then, I would go to the next room or area and stay there until it is completed - this can mean utilizing baskets or my helpers to carry things, depending on how much there is to sort. I would continue on in this process until everything is tidied up in each area on all levels. Although it may sound long, even with 5 kids and a 2 storey house, I can usually be done in about 20 minutes. Don't let this seem overwhelming, it shouldn't - the whole time I am working on organizing I simply tell myself that I just have to DO THE NEXT THING.  The reality is that when I am done, I am able to do all my other tasks with much better efficiency and pleasure.

A few keys that help me are:

- Start with the area most important to have clean, then think of what areas are good to have tidy next, in case of drop in guests

- Relax and don't get stressed - cleanliness is NOT next to godliness
(When I shared this with a dear friend, she responded , "Thank you so much for this one particular line...That little cliche plays clearly in my head so often when my house gets messed up - in such a condemning way that I know exactly where it's from. And I know that is not to say that we should forgo keeping a clean and tidy house, rather that an untidy house from time to time does not mean we are failing at being a godly woman." - I could not have said it so well)

- During the whole clean up, keep reminding yourself that you only have to DO THE NEXT THING

- My goal is tidy, not perfect; but the benefits are good for all - even our young ones will play with more focused attention when their areas of play are kept ordered

For me, I have found that when I plan for these clean up times after breakfast (checking bedrooms for beds made), at lunch (from morning events) and again in the evening, the mess is kept in very manageable amounts. The old saying remains true, though, "If I fail to plan, then I plan to fail".  I have to remind myself that although this discipline is not "fun", it is of great value to the function of our home.  Planning to stay on top of disorder, can bring peace to our homes in ways we may need more than we realize.

Proverbs 21:5, in the Message, says,
"Careful planning puts you ahead in the long run;

hurry and scurry puts you further behind."

Overwhelming Moments

There are just moments in life that are going to overwhelm us.  Therefore, the question can't be how do we get rid of these moments, but how do we deal with them when they come and gain the perspective that God would want us to have? 

Does it ever amaze you how overwhelming certain moments can be?  These moments are not always related to parenting - although that certainly offers some good opportunities for them - but sometimes life is just plain overwhelming!  Because we have learned that to be true, it would seem that we would have a plan in place for when these moments come, but often that does not seem to be the case. 

It makes me think of when people have had the opportunity to experience a large disaster up close.  Whether it be snowstorm, tornado or flood - anything that has the power to temporarily alter the way we live, what is the reaction to that experience?  It is to go out and over-prepare for the mere possibility that it could happen again, isn't it?  It may be stocking up on water, flashlights, batteries, food; or fixing a part of our house that we should have long ago - whatever it is, the purpose is so that we are not caught unprepared again.  How interesting is it then, that if we know there is not just a slim possibility of overwhelming moments, but a guarantee of them, still many of us do not have a "plan" set in place for when we face those storms of life.

If we were to make a plan, what would it include?  For me, first, it is knowing that overwhelming moments will come and that they are part of life.  As simple as that sounds, when I know that what I am going through is "normal", it makes it much easier for me to endure.  Jesus warned us in John 16:33, "In this world you WILL HAVE trouble.  But take heart!  I have overcome the world."  We need to recognize that although our moments may look different than the next person's moments, they are still similar in their affect of being overwhelming - it really is just part of the journey.

The second part of my plan is to know that I know, before that storm or moments hits, that the God of this universe is ALWAYS in control.  I have purposed to have scripture and knowledge of WHO God is deep inside of me, because during a storm is NOT the time to be evaluating where our hope should be placed.  Once we really know that, then we will want to go to Him during these hard or overwhelming moments...it says in Psalms 62:5&8 says, "Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from Him...He is my fortress, I will not be shaken...Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge."  God is fully available to us in all times of trouble.

The last part of my plan consists of knowing that God has purpose in what He is allowing me to go through, and that He is using it to shape me and mold me, for His good.  The Bible says Romans 8:28 that, "We know that in ALL THINGS God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose."  He knows far better than I, what areas I need to be shaped in.  If it were left up to me to choose, I am sure 9 times out of 10, I would choose the easier path with the sunshine and flowers - nice view, but not a place for real growth.  He gives us those moments too, but I think of them as opportunities to rest and be refreshed for the moments that He needs to grow me more in.

God always has our best in mind!  The Bible tells us that every good and perfect gift comes from Him, but just as we cannot give into every whim our children have because we know it is not what would help them grow; so God, in much greater perfection can see what is best for us and is growing us accordingly.  Find out WHO He is and then you will be ready to trust Him in your overwhelming moments, and call on Him to carry you through.  He wants to and He will!

It "Ain't" Just the Milkmen Anymore

                                                                                         

There are increasing numbers of women being drawn away from their marriages these days, and it "ain't" just because of good-looking milkmen anymore!  We are living at a point in history where the whole world, and all it has to "offer", is literally, at our fingertips.  The temptations we face, no matter what our occupations may be, are greater by far than what I understand the "milkmen" days were like. 

We can say we are strong and not interested, and most of us would be telling the truth; but it doesn't matter, the enemy has been studying us for a long time and he knows our weaknesses.  The Bible warns us in I Peter 5:8 that we are to, "Be self-controlled and alert.  Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour."  We are all at risk.

Many people, myself included, have looked back at the Garden of Eden and criticized Adam and Eve for their fatal mistake in taking the fruit from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil (oh, to be able to live without the knowledge of evil ).   But I must say that I don't "blame" Adam and Eve like I used to; I have come far enough in life to realize that we are ALL open to the enemy's temptations, and he is very cunning in his methods and timing.  We are a generation desperately in need of self-control, support from godly friends and a determination to be alert to the traps we may be exposing ourselves to. 

One strategy that God gives us in guarding ourselves against temptation, comes from Matthew 7:3&5, "Why do you look a the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?...You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye."  This scripture shows us that we have to examine our own hearts on an ongoing basis, and ask the Holy Spirit to reveal where the "planks" are in our own lives.  Satan will try to discourage us from looking at ourselves, for two reasons:  One is because he knows if we start paying attention to what is out of order in our own lives we might ask God to put it straight, and two is that we will not be as apt to be judging and critical of others.  It is too easy to look at someone else's "speck" and feel pious, while not realizing we are being led away from the real problem - ourselves.

It is of utmost importance that we don't see ourselves "above" anyone else and their struggles or sin - it is BUT for the grace of God, go I.  When we hear of someone "falling into sin", we CANNOT allow ourselves even a fleeting thought of how we would not have been capable of doing the same thing.  That is the temptation of looking at the specks!  If we can only see the sin of others, then we are not being honest about our own weaknesses and looking for the planks in our own lives.

What are some of the possible planks?  Ask God to show you and He will! 

Be sure to guard yourself against letting your heart even start down a path you know you shouldn't go down.  Proverbs 4:23 says, "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life."  We have to be so careful...when I refer back to the milkman days; I am really serious about it.  Back then, the temptations for married women seemed far less; the man who placed the milk at your doorstep, maybe the mailman, or some of the friendships as married couples, but for the most part living was somewhat simple and safe. BUT NOW, we are inundated with temptations - we have the option of a career outside the home that can place us in close relationships with men.  We can find anything we want and don't want to find on the Internet at any time of night or day.  We have social networking that can put us in touch with every man we may have known in the past and the present.  Even texting and email can provide ways of communicating with men on a more than healthy level.

All of us, I am sure, can look to at least a few examples that stem from friendships we have had, where one of the married persons have "walked away" for someone else.  This doesn't happen overnight, my friends - it happens as one person is slowly drawn towards someone other than their spouse. It may be that they just want to "get to know them better" or "reconnect with them", and the initial intent can be quite innocent.  We have to recognize that if we don't see the temptation or the trap that Satan is weaving for us, we will blindly go after the fruit that looks shiny and appealing!  DON'T even entertain those thoughts.  Why else would we be instructed in I Timothy 2:22 to, "FLEE the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness."?

Remember that our hope is found in GOD ALONE, and He has promised in I Corinthians 10:13 that, "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man.  And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear.  But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it."  One of the best pieces of advice I ever heard on temptation was that when we see we are being tempted, we should ask the Lord, "What is the way out?", and then truly be prepared to take it.  Also be sure you have at least one friend (female) who will speak boldly into your life and point out potential areas of weakness. 

There is a song called Slow Fade, by Casting Crowns, which speaks of the temptation that any one of us could face IF we are not careful.  Some of the words are here...

     The journey from your mind to your hands
     Is shorter than you're thinking
     Be careful if you think you stand
     You might just be sinking

     It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
     It's a slow fade when black and white are turned to gray
     Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
     When you give yourself away
     People never crumble in a day
     It's a slow fade

Please don't let yourself fade slowly into any relationship that will take you away from God's best for you and your family.  We are not as strong as we may think we are - I wish there were a BELL I could RING LOUDLY to help you see how significant this is.  Please take at least a moment to ask the Lord to show you anything or anyone that you need to cut off, in order to protect yourself from making the biggest mistake in your life!  Also, consider sending a link of this article to other women you know - we need to be helping one another every step of the way.  I am praying for you.

Helping Our Husbands

Last month, at our Mom's Night, we were discussing the call to godliness, that God gives to each one of us.  We looked at various scriptures that speak about godliness, but the one that stood out to me the most was from Proverbs 31.  I was struck by one verse in particular, which although I had read many times before, had never sunk in for its full meaning.  It is in verse 23, and at initial glance it seems out of place from the other verses, but once studied it is powerful ~ here it is, "Her husband is greatly respected when he deliberates with the city fathers."   This verse is nestled between verses that talk about the woman who is well prepared and the woman who makes her own dresses.  What does that have to do with her husband being respected?  HE is respected because of who SHE is!

This is where the impact came for me - I have always viewed my role in being my husband's "helper" as something behind the scenes, and I have loved that role.  Whether it is supporting him emotionally (listening and encouraging), physically (love and practical care with food / clothing / etc), or spiritually (praying for him and with him); it has brought me great joy.  But I had not carefully examined before how these practical supports affect him outside the home.  As I have pondered this verse over the past month, I have become increasingly aware of how vital it is that we, as wives, catch the significance.  What we do at behind the scenes at home and with our families - no matter how trivial or unnoticed (by all but God) - will affect the way that our husbands are regarded. 

I am not talking about making our husbands "look good", but specifically wanting us to realize that often we can make the difference as to whether our husbands are looked up to or looked down on.  When Paul gave the requirements for elders in the church, he included the importance of how that man's family was functioning.  We need to respect that the choices we make in the ways we talk to our husbands; the ways we care for them, our homes and our families, really do make a difference.  If we want to truly be more of what, I believe, God desires us as wives to be, then we need to be looking to the best interest of our husbands first, and not ourselves.

Yes, it will fly in the face of the culture we are part of - but good for us - it will just make us shine more brightly than it would have in the past generations.  So, GO SHINE!

The Other Side of the Fence

Why is it so often said that the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence?  Could it be because there is so much truth to that old expression that it resonates within us and calls us to rise above the call of the world?  Is it possible that it causes us to realize our need for being content, even when we don't want to admit it?

God has given us such clear instruction of why we should be content and how we should be content, but it doesn't mean that it is easy to do.  Especially in this day and age, what we are instructed to let go of  is not easy - Hebrews 13:5 says that we are to, "Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, 'Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.'"  God was telling us that IF we are to be content, we have to keep (present tense - always working at it) our lives free from the love of money, AND be (present tense again) content with what He has already blessed us with.  The reason is given to us, as well - God will always be with us and will never leave us, therefore He is always aware of what we will NEED and is willing to provide for us.

So, how do we apply keeping our lives free from the love of money and being content with what we already have?  One of the best definitions of contentment I have ever heard, gives the solution within the definition - it says this, "True contentment is the realization of what we already have."  This requires NOT trying to keep up with the Joneses!  This is not an easy accomplishment when life seems to require; shopping at stores that will always try to convince us of what we (don't) need, or looking over the fences of our neighbours and seeing their new toys, or just simply feeling frustrated with the old items we have owned forever when we know there is a better invention out there.  It may not be easy - but we must!  This instruction from God is not a suggestion, it is what He is telling us to do because He knows what is best for us - now and eternally.

We can be set free to enjoy all God has for us, when we appreciate what we already have in our hands.  If we can take our eyes off what others have (whether it be nicer cars, better behaved children, fancier clothes, better jobs or even a more appealing spouse), and put our eyes back onto our own homes and families, with a focus on gratitude for what we do have -an amazing thing has to happen to us.  The "things" that were calling to us will lose some of their shine, and our hearts will become more content with what we have. 

It is a spiritual principle with very practical applications - if we don't want to hear our children begging for the latest toys and newest gadgets, then we better be sure they are not listening to us hoping for a big screen TV or wishing for a better house.  If we don't want our marriage to fall apart, then we better not be comparing our spouse with someone else's.  If we don't want to spend a lifetime in debt, then we might have to make that car last longer than we might want.  It is all the same - we must learn to be content with what God has already provided for us and lead our kids in the way they should go.

Challenges of Consistency

I find it hard to believe that our family has packed away the highchair and we are officially out of the toddler stages with our five children.  Somehow, when you are in the middle of those years, you feel it will stay that way forever ~ then suddenly, you look back and realize it is likely over for good.  I know some of you, that still have young ones, may read this and think, "Oh, I am so tired of these busy, messy days; I can't wait for it to be over."  And I do understand, it feels like you can't get your head above water to see if what you are doing is even working.  But I have one word to share with you that will help you finish these early days successfully, with the hope that your hard work will pay off in the end ~ CONSISTENCY.

Consistency means doing the same thing over and over; it means that the same action receives the same reaction, over and over.  And, it means you get tired.  Sometimes discouraged when you are being consistent but not seeing the results.  Which is why I want to share this with you...IF you can keep on training those toddlers even when you don't see immediate results, you will benefit later.  I am sure you have heard that before, but it is easy to get weary of disciplining when we don't see change come.  We live in a society that embraces and promotes everything "instant" and that is one thing parenting is not!  We have to be like the tortoise and not the hare - it is slow and steady that will "win" this race of parenting.

What are times for consistency?  Almost all times - the highchair is a perfect opportunity to be consistent.  For example, if young Bobby decides to toss his crackers on the floor, he needs to be corrected and told no.  We all know what comes next - he will try it again...WHY?  Because toddlers are all about cause and effect - both in experimental ways like tossing crackers but also in practical ways, like whether mom is going to tell me no again.  I have read some pretty crazy theories that tell moms to let their babies and toddlers throw food as it teaches them the law of gravity - give me a break!  There are a million ways that our toddlers will learn about the law of gravity while NOT in their highchair - that does not need to be discovered there.  Don't give up on consistency!

Another great opportunity for consistency, is bedtime.  Once that little person has graduated from their crib into a toddler bed (ours were right around their 2nd birthday), they are ready to learn that they need to stay in their bed until they are allowed to get up.  What does that look like?  With each of our children (with many thanks to the Ezzo's books), we told them that they were not allowed to get out of their beds once they were put there.  That meant if they needed to go to the bathroom or get a drink, they had to call us and ask.  Or when they woke up in the morning, I savoured the sweet sounds floating down the hall of, "Mommy, can I get up now?".  It also meant that if we came down the hallway and saw them sneaking a book, it required that we followed up immediately with disciplining for the disobedience - every time!  That is where consistency comes in again.

Depending on the strength of the will, with each child, it will be different how many times your consistency will be tested - but be assured, it will.  And as much as we don't enjoy disciplining it is our job as mothers.  Not an optional one, but one of the most important ones.  Yes, it is tiring!  Yes, it feels like it is not working!  Yes, it is very often not convenient!  But it is invaluable to us and to our children.

Remember, the goal of training good behaviour into our children is not so people will be impressed that they know how to obey.  It is so that as they grow and mature, they are able to be a light and example to others of the Lord Jesus living in their lives.  It is also so that when God speaks to their hearts, they are not bent on arguing or seeing if they feel like obeying - they will do what God asks because they have learned obedience is the best way, because of the consistency of their parents.

Ecclesiastes 11:6 "Sow your seed in the morning, and at evening let not your hands be idle, for you do not know which will succeed, whether this or that, or whether both will do equally well."

The Discouraged Conqueror

What do we do when we don't "feel" like or "see" the reality of being a conqueror?  Well, fortunately the Lord allowed me to experience it first hand so I would have something fresh to share (ha ha).  I have heard it said that we should watch what we share because we could be tested on it, and I found that to be true 98% of the time, which sometimes makes me wonder why I keep writing, but anyway...

In less than twenty-four hours after sharing about being MORE than conquerors, I woke to realize that I was feeling very overwhelmed.  We had said goodbye to company and I found myself with four beds to change, seven loads of laundry to fold, a son that needed a ride for the evening, a family that needed to eat, to say nothing of the other chores that were required just to accomplish the basics of life and tidying up.  The temptation, of course, was to pass on my quiet time because what needed to be done seemed so huge, but I have learned through years of trial and error that these are the times I need to be quiet with God the most.  So I started my morning in the Word and a devotional I use, and listen to what God gave...

First came the scripture found in Romans 12:11&12, in the Message version, where it says, "Don't burn out; keep yourselves fueled and aflame.  Be alert servants of the Master, cheerfully expectant. Don't quit in hard times; pray all the harder."  It had only been a matter of hours, but I had forgotten to give this over to God for His help, and honestly I had not been feeling cheerfully expectant either.  Then, in my devotional, Faith to Faith, it said this...

       We are to live in hope.  We are to rejoice.  So, when Satan comes to steal your victory and tell you that God is not going to help you this time, you just think on the Word of God and start rejoicing.  Rejoice that you are in Him.  Rejoice that heaven is your home.  Rejoice that greater is he that is in you than he that is in the world.  Rejoice.  Brag on God today.  The devil can't stand it!...When things get hard is not when you let go of the Word.  That is when you double up on it .  That is when you are constant in prayer so that you are immovable.

God is so faithful to speak to each of us and truly meet us where we are at!  I am so thankful that I took time in the Word today - I have a fresh hope for the day and a desire to rejoice; even though challenges still may come and the tasks that I have at hand have not disappeared.  I have a new "battle plan" for how to do all that needs to be done, and most importantly, I have taken it to prayer again and I will be standing on the Word and God's truth as I walk out my day rejoicing as a wife and mom.

You Are a Conqueror

Did you know that you are a conqueror?  A conqueror is someone who defeats someone or something or one who triumphs after great effort; and the good news of Romans 8:37 is this: "We are more than conquerors through Him who loved us." What a verse...it is full of hope and promise because it says we ARE, not we will be or we might be, but we already are conquerors.  Not only are we already, but Paul says that we are MORE THAN conquerors - can you tell he was searching for the biggest way to tell us that we have everything we need at our disposal?

There is one key hidden in this verse, and that is the one that tells us where that ability comes from - it comes THROUGH Him (God) Who loved us.  How backwards is that in our society?  God already poured out His love and provision for us to conquer before we needed it - now it is accessible to us.  So, the question is not, "Are we conquerors?" but "What do we need to conquer?"

This is where the application comes in - what is in your daily life right now that you need to conquer?  Is the laundry piled higher than you know how to tackle?  Are the kids fighting so much your head hurts?  Is your husband needing more encouragement than you feel able to give?  Are the bills piling up to the point of what feels like no return?  If any of these things are true for you, then it is time to remind yourself of what the enemy doesn't want you to know - YOU ARE A CONQUEROR!  God has said that He doesn't give us more than we can handle, so as hard as life may feel, with His help we can walk through and overcome those things in our lives that are threatening to overwhelm us.

We may be tempted to think that this verse in Romans only applies to big things or important areas, but I would challenge us that laundry and fights are not little nor unimportant and that God deeply cares about all areas of our lives.  It can feel like those areas of our lives are ours to manage and God's job is to worry about the grander things, but I disagree ~ in fact in James 5:2-5 it is laid out why we have to work through these things and it confirms that God wants to help us.  In the Message version it says, "Consider it a sheer gift (all the laundry, the fights, etc.), friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides.  You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colours.  So don't try to get out of anything prematurely.  Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.  If you don't know what you're doing, pray to the Father.  He loves to help."  Isn't that wonderful - if we don't know what we're doing (that is me, most days) - pray - He loves (and really wants to) help us.

I encourage you today, that if you are feeling overwhelmed, have a chat with God about what you are finding heavy.  Tell Him that you have tried to work out these areas of defeat in your own strength and now see that you need and want to do it in His strength.  Victory may not be instant - but it will come.  Remember that you ARE (already) more than a conqueror THROUGH Him who loved us.

Speaking Blessing

Have you ever looked at something far off in the distance and squinted long and hard trying to make out what it is?  Then someone comes alongside and says, "Isn't that neat how you can just barely make out the shape of _________ (such and such a landmark)?"  I often feel like that is a picture of parenting - the end result, known only by God, is so far off in the distance that we can hardly see what our children are going to mature into...but we know it is out there.

It can be hard to know what to "aim for" with our children at most stages of parenting; when they are young we feel we might get to have them forever and don't want them to grow up.  Then, as they enter into the teen years, we may be tempted to feel they are growing too quickly without hope they will grow in the ways we want for them.  I believe that as we look to the Word, we can find God's way of dealing with raising our children up through each of these stages...in fact, it is not that different than how God deals with each of us.  What does He do?  He speaks blessing and hope over our lives, even when we feel we don't deserve it!

All throughout the Old and New Testament, God speaks blessing over His people!  Discovering some of these spoken blessings has been of utmost importance for my life and the lives of my children, because as I look to the distant future and try to make out what things will look like in their lives, I realize I can't see clearly.  I don't know who they will marry, I don't know where they will live, I don't know what careers they will pursue - but there is one thing I know and can do now - God wants to bless our children and I can speak God's blessings over them, regardless of the stage!  This accomplishes two things: one it shows our children that there is hope for all that lies ahead, even on the days they don't feel worthy; and two, it reminds us of the truth that God is able to do far more than we could ask or imagine, even if our children's future is looking dim at the moment.

So, what does speaking blessing look like day to day?  Telling your newborn that he/she is a precious gift from God and that He loves them.  Telling your two year old that he/she was created by God and He has good things for them to do.  Telling your seven year old that he/she is growing beautifully in learning more about God and that He has great things in store for their life.  Telling your teenager that even though they can't see where they are supposed to go, God can, and the Word says He has plans to give them a hope and a future.  It is speaking the truth of God's love for them over and over, on good days and hard days - till it sinks it is so solid that no one will be able to take it away.

The hardest times, as a parent, to speak blessing into our kids lives, seem to be the days that we see the least amount of hope; but those are probably the most important times.  They need us to be the "adults" and lovingly remind (us &) them that God has good things to look forward to.  It requires patiently taking a deep breath, giving a hug and assuring them that we love them and God loves them, maybe even sharing a scripture like Jeremiah 29:11, "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'"  Every time we speak God's truth into the lives of our children, we plant seeds of hope and truth that will go down deep and remain ~  it will become part of the important foundation that helps the distance become more clear and bright for them.

Don't ever stop speaking blessing!  God has promised His Word will not return void, so keep God's truth coming out!

Deuteronomy 28:3-9 "You will be blessed in the city and blessed in the country.  The fruit of your womb will be blessed, and the crops of your land...your basket and your kneading trough will be blessed.  You will be blessed when you come in and blessed when you go out...The Lord will send a blessing on your barns and on everything you put your hand to.  The Lord your God will bless you in the land He is giving you."