Clutter!

     It's like a slow moving disease that spreads throughout our house if ignored -- it's the creeping, crawling chaos of clutter!  With eight of us in one house, it never ceases to amaze me how quickly corners can fill up, but I remain tenaciously bent on ensuring that the clutter doesn't get the upper hand on me.

     No small task, you say?  Then you must have children too!  And although the clutter is just stuff, there is a deeper, more spiritual side to it that has a lesson our children, and ourselves, repetitively need to be reminded of as we go about life -- 

     The lesson of holding our possessions in an open hand.

     A challenge is posed to us in I Timothy 6 that reminds us since we brought nothing into the world and can take nothing out of it ... we are to be generous and willing to share.  My desire is to get to the place where that comes so naturally to our family, that we are able to release extras without thinking about it, which is really the most natural way to deal with clutter anyway.

     There is only one method I require every time I attack a room that requires "healing from clutter" and I try to do it at least 4 times a year (basically with the seasons, but especially in spring and right before Christmas when we know there will be more "stuff" coming into the house).  I take 3 baskets into the area I am focusing on and mentally label them: #1)GARBAGE, #2)DONATE, and #3)SHARE. 

     In basket # 1, I ruthlessly toss everything that is completely unusable and take it immediately to the trash bin (especially before wandering eyes spy a potential item to salvage). 

     In basket # 2, I quickly put all items that have some value to a thrift store but would not benefit anyone we know, bag it immediately and put it right in our vehicle so that it can be dropped off the next time I go out.

 

     In basket # 3, I nicely lay out items that make me think of someone who could use benefit from it -- this is my favourite part of the job because often God will bring to mind a name of a person who could use the items we are ready to part with and it is also much easier to give away what you know someone else may enjoy receiving. 

     The key lesson for our children is also buried in basket # 3 because this is when they will get excited to give away IF there is a vision for where it is going.  You may have a local shelter for troubled moms and their children, or a family whose children are slightly younger than yours . . . regardless, our children will be far more generous (or at least learn to be) if they know someone else will be blessed by their sharing.

     I came across a beautiful poem entitled Let Them Go by Ruth Bell Graham, the other day as I was spring cleaning, and it reminded my heart of what I need to hear . . . 

Let them go --

the things that have

accumulated thru the years.
If they be only things

then

let them go.

As barnacles

they but impede the ship

and slow

it down when it should go

full speed ahead.

Why dread

the disentangling?

Does the snake

regret the shedding

of its skin?

When the butterfly eludes

its chrysalis,

does regret set in?

     The earlier our children learn the joy of sharing, and the sooner we master the ability to live clutter-free in this crazy, cluttered world, the sooner we will be as the ship in Ruth's poem -- able to move full speed ahead and not weighted down by the barnacles of stuff this world tries to attach to us!

"Do not forget to do good

and to share with others, for

with such sacrifices God is pleased."

Hebrews 13:16

Drinking Bleach???

     Imagine walking around the corner and catching sight of your two year old on top of the kitchen counter poised with a glass of liquid in their hand.  Beside them sits the blue and white bleach bottle with some of its contents splashed on the counter...

     Would you:  a) Stop and watch for a while to see if your child is really about to drink it?
                          b) Gently tell her she probably shouldn't try it because she might not like the taste?
                      or c) Yell "NO" and get to that child as fast as you could to grab it out of their hand?

     It's safe to assume that every parent reading this would choose option "c" without any reflection required.  Why is that?  Because we know the danger of chemicals AND we love our child and therefore do not want to see them harmed.  May I propose that there are many instances of "bleach" in the hands of children that are being evaluated by well-meaning, loving parents who are utilizing options "a" and "b"?

     "Well, I would never let my child drink bleach so I have no idea what you are talking about," you may respond.  Yes, I know you wouldn't, but did you know that our children are being faced with dangers as grave as glasses of bleach and we're trying to watch and see the outcomes in their lives without intruding, or by gently suggesting that maybe they shouldn't do those things?

     As parents we're well-versed on many rules of safety; in fact, more than any other generation before, I am sure we have more safety standards spinning in our heads than could have been imagined fifty years ago.  Daily there are recalls published for children's items that need to be improved on for safety -- highchairs, booster seats, cribs, tricycles, and on it goes.  But sadly in this generation, many have repudiated the value of shaping our children's moral characters -- thoughtfulness of others, respect to elderly, obedience to parents.  How did these get so confused?

     I believe most parents passionately love their children and long for what's best for them, but these parents have lost the compass that tells them where true North really is when it comes to training their children. 

     There is only one compass that points true and that is God's Word.

     You will not find true North in the myriad of parenting magazines, parenting television shows or parenting blogs.  Although these are the resources we surround ourselves with, they will either point us drastically in the opposite direction of true North or at best, a few degrees off, which still lands us in the wrong place.  And we wonder why our kids end up drinking "bleach" while we look on with horror?

     There is a lot of "bleach" in this world -- some of it could be every time we allow our children to think obedience is only necessary if they "feel" like it, OR every time we tolerate mouthiness and justify it as they are "tired" today, OR every time we allow them to watch shows, visit websites or play games that we KNOW don't measure God's standards of looking at whatever is pure and lovely and good.

     In most cases the easier road in parenting is to watch our children drink the "bleach" and tell ourselves it won't hurt them because we don't always see the negative effects right away, rather than rush to their side and immediately deal with the danger.

     God's design for parenting, although explained beautifully in many Christian books, is best found in the original unedited version called The Bible.  Anything else apart from that mixes in man's opinion.  Ask the Holy Spirit to speak to your heart and reveal the areas that your children may be drinking from the "bleach" bottle of the world's ways. 

     There is a phrase that has gained popularity over the years - that has become an easy out in parenting, "As a parent, we need to pick our battles".  While this is true, we must be sure we are not choosing to abdicate from the battles that involve "bleach".  Don't be afraid to parent your children in love, to the standards God has set before us -- it is our job and the benefits are eternal!

"Love does not delight

in evil but rejoices with

the truth.  It ALWAYS protects,

always trusts, always hopes,

always perseveres."

I Corinthians 13:6&7



The Mystery of Patience

     What challenging situation are you finding yourself in the middle of right now?  Is there a new baby on the way?  A giant mess to tackle?  A toddler who throws a daily tantrum?  Whatever it is, I have great news for you -- ALL the patience you need is available to you!  Yes, really, ALL of it!

     How many times have you heard another mom say, "Oh,  I couldn't do ________ (that), I just don't have the patience"?  That is the beautiful, yet upside-down mystery of God's operating system -- it's because of the "things" that we don't feel we have the patience to accomplish that the true, deep, genuine patience will have the opportunity to take its form. 

     The inward mom cries out to reach a perfect level of pre-determined patience before stepping into the task, but God whispers to us as if to say, "You step into the task, and I will see that what you require will take its shape as you are going."

     God' operating system is completely opposite the world's operating system -- the world says we need to get our act together and then attempt the next thing.  God's operating system says we need to acknowledge that we don't have what it takes and then attempt the next thing RECOGNIZING OUR NEED FOR GOD and watch Him come through for us.

     I have a perpetual blaring alarm bell in my head now -- every time I sense the need to "arrive" before tackling the next big thing, the sirens go off -- WHRRRRRR.  The warning is that I am depending on "Kristen" if I am trying to "arrive" and not on God.  God is ready and able to meet every task that He has allowed on our path, BUT are we ready and able to give each of those tasks over to Him and ask Him to work patience in us and through us as we are going?

     Stories of the past tell the mystery of God's ways -- those famed leaders haven't accomplished grandiose things because of their predisposition to greatness, but because of their trust for God to provide "as they were going". 

     Are we prepared to place our foot on the unseen next step over the cavern of the unknown? 

     Do we believe that IF we surrender our lack of ability to produce patience over to God and ask Him to accomplish that in us, it will be as we are going that we see Him do a magnificent work?  The Bible says that we can taste and see that the Lord is good -- may this be a new way that we can experience His provision and goodness in our lives.

"We pray that you will be

strengthened with all His

glorious power so you will

have ALL the endurance

and PATIENCE

you need."

Colossians 1:11

The Shirt

     The playground was quiet and abandoned, but not for long, as the legs of my children flew at top speed to race for the swings and run for the slides.  Laughter rose into the air like bubbles on a summer's day, but the joy-filled moment wasn't to remain.

     Out of the corner playground gate meandered a little guy, probably only five years old, but his face was covered with a grizzly expression reminiscent of a tired old man.  He sidled over to the teeter-totters and made it known to two of my children that he had territorial rights to be in charge.  I started walking over to intervene when I noticed a woman step through the gate and call to the boy. 

     "Billy, whatcha doin'?" asked the somewhat disheveled mother.  A skull and cross bones screamed at the world from the front of her shirt, and words, not worth repeating, covered the back of it. 

     I cringed at what my eyes took in with the words, in the quick breath required to read it and then quickly gathered my composure and smiled, trying to make it genuine.

     "Nothing mom, just playing," her son backed off a little and looked for another area of which he could gain dominion.

     My natural self wanted to gather up my children like a mother hen takes her chicks under her feathers, and rush them home, but I felt to stay.  God may have a reason that two mothers were meeting on this sunny afternoon and I didn't feel it was time to walk away yet.

     I smiled again, this time a little bigger and more sure of myself . . . no - more sure of God and His presence with me.  The words of a Casting Crowns song began to flow through my head, and I knew God was there, prodding me in that moment.

     What this world needs, is for us to care more
     About the inside than the outside.
     Have we become so blind that we can't see ~
     God's gotta change her heart
     Before He changes her shirt...

     What this world needs is a Saviour who can rescue
     A Spirit who will lead
     A Father who will love them in their time of need...
     That's what this world needs.  

     The heart before the shirt -- how could I allow myself to be so struck by the shirt and have failed to recognize the woman wearing it?  The one in obvious need of encouragement and friendship. 

     "God," I whispered, "forgive me for judging and resisting to share your love with those you place in my path.  Even when it means my children have to be stretched too."

     Is this not what we are called to do?  Be salt and light in a dying world?

     Jesus didn't promise us it would be easy, but He DID promise He would be with us.

     May we look for ways to let God stretch us for the sake of the kingdom.  May we encourage our children to graciously overlook small offenses in order to see the bigger picture in front of them -- an opportunity to be "Jesus with skin on", to someone who may not know they are loved by a Heavenly Father.

"Don't just pretend to love others. 

Really love them. 

Hate what is wrong. 

Hold tightly to what is good."

Romans 12:9

Don't Stop the Stories

    

     We crack open the bent, tender pages of the Children's Bible.  We flip and scour searching for the favourite story of old - again!  Then the page falls open to the "hoped for story" and  I feel the legs of my child quiver with excitement under the blankets as we begin to read . . .

     When the music plays, everyone must bow down and worship the statue.  Those who disobey will be thrown into the fiery furnace.

     "You know what, Mom?"  His sweet face turns up towards mine.

     "What's that?" I ask, as I stroke the blond hairs away from his forehead.

     "I wouldn't bow down!  If that was me, I would say, 'Put me in that hot furnace'."  The firmness of expression is locked on his small face.

     His words are spoken with such seriousness and passion that my heart swells with pleasure as I simultaneously stifle a smile.  I don't want to break the solemness of the spoken commitment of the moment.

     This, I think to myself, is why we read God's truths each night and not fairy tales.  This is why I will not stop the telling of God's truths through stories with my children.

    We don't know what the future holds for the next generation, but God does.  We don't know what our children will need in order to be equipped for the challenges they will face, but God does. 

     It is God and His Word that will summon our children to higher levels.

     The only way I know to fully arm our children with the tools and knowledge they will require, is through a deep understanding of God and His Word.  And the only way they will grow in that is to begin now and not stop the stories.

     Don't stop the stories until your sweet ones are able to pursue God passionately on their own -- until then, our highest priority is not ABC's or 123's, but God and His truths found in His Word.

"God's Word goes on and on forever.

This is the Word that conceived

the new life in you."

I Peter 1:25

As Though They Were

     The numbers roll off her tongue like raindrops on a windowpane - fast and furious.  "Two plus two is four.  Four plus four is eight.  Eight plus eight is sixteen.  Sixteen plus . . . "  On and on the numbers increase, continuing into the hundreds.  It isn't unusual except that she's only six years old, and she's ours. 

     We encourage and applaud.  We are amazed.

     This, in turn, means that she tries even harder to say them faster and learn them farther.  This makes me wonder -- Does she do this so well because we encourage or because she would anyway?

     I don't know the answer.  But I do know that almost anyone will run fatster or jump higher when they are spurred on by the sounds of a cheering crowd in the stands as opposed to silence, but is that what brings the success?  Beyond math facts, what about the rest of life that spreads out before our children?

    My mind races to remember where that verse is in the Bible -- the one that says what God speaks over us.  Oh yes, Romans 4:17.  It says that, "God...calls things that are not as though they were."

     I think of the achievements and failures in my own life and I'm thankful that God calls things in my life that are not as though they are.  I'm relieved that someone believes in my future when I don't.

     If this is what God does for us, then would it not be what we are called to do for our children?  Speak blessing into their future, whether we see the tangible evidence in front of us or not.

     Would you rather aim high in life when someone is whispering in your ear that you CAN do it or when a brash voice is pointing a execrative finger at where you failed again? 

     It doesn't mean we never correct our children and their poor or wrong behaviour.  No, that must be done so that they can be taught to learn from their mistakes.  BUT, what are the words they hear during the other 23 hours in the day? 

     "I am so proud of you for helping your sister fix her toy." 
                               OR
     "Why didn't you clean the mess that you and your sister left?"

     "You are doing a great job being careful not to interrupt conversations."
                               OR
     "Why did you keep tugging on my arm when I was talking?"

     "Thanks for speaking gently to your brother this morning."
                                OR
     "Why couldn't you be nicer to your brother?"


     You see, I've learned a few things about myself as a parent:

1. I tend to see what is out of order, before I appreciate what is in order
2. I am more likely to point out what I want to see changed than what I like
3. I would be more tempted to speak a criticism than a blessing

     Why would I confess these sad realities about my parenting to you?  Because every day I am reminded that I have two ways of looking at the relationships that I am blessed to be surrounded by -- either I will see the negative and speak the continuation of the same in my loved one's lives, OR I will look for the positive and speak with a mouth of hope towards those I love, just as God does for me.

    I want taste honey when I lick my lips, not vinegar. 

    I must evaluate the words that sit on my tongue BEFORE I let them escape, not after.  The same lesson I continue to instruct my children with applies to me -- think before you speak.  If I can look for and find the good, it needs to be given a voice.  And if I can't find the good, then I need to speak with hope -- to call those things that aren't as though they were.

"For in hope we were saved.

Now hope that is seen is not hope,

because who hopes for what he sees?

But if we hope for what we do not see,

we eagerly wait for it with endurance."

Romans 8:24 & 25