FEELING RUN DOWN

 
     There are just those days -- you know the ones -- where you just feel like you don't have what it takes to make it through the next hours, let alone days, that lie ahead.  That's just the reality of life, isn't it?  Somehow being told that those days are "normal" can make it seem more manageable, but something more is available to us that we shouldn't ignore...God's strength.

     This is true strength -- the kind that only God can pour into our lives when we've reached a low point, a hard place, a dark time.  

     Our God, Creator of all things, who is so intimately involved and concerned with EVERY detail of life, cares.  He truly cares.  And He's promised in His Word that when we are weak, His power will be made perfect in us (II Corinthians 12:9).

     I have a poem that hangs on a wall in our home and I stop to read it word for word every so often.  Alone, it's just a poem, but combined with God's promise to fill us with His strength, it becomes of great encouragement...

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts seem high
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When you care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest! if you must -- but never quit.


Life is queer, with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about
When he might have won if he'd stuck it out;
Stick to your task, though the pace seems slow--
You may succeed with one more blow.


Success is failure turned inside out --
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt --
And you never can tell how close you are;
It may be near when it seems afar;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit --
It's when things seem worst that YOU MUSN'T QUIT.

     Quitting can feel like the easiest solution -- it may be with our toddler who won't obey, our teenager who's pushing hard or our spouse who's not home enough.  Whatever is causing us to be run down or overwhelmed, we can take it to God.  He wants to join us in the middle of the mess, not stand back and watch us quit.

     Tell God where you're at and ask Him to come, in His power, into your dark moments and He will.  He really, really will!

"Don't quit in hard times;

pray all the harder."

Romans 12:12

LIFE-GIVING WORDS

     Words that give life are often not easy to find, but they're out there; and for the sake of the deepest parts of our beings, they must be found.  They are the food for our souls that we desperately need!  Although we may deliver beautiful words of life to our families each day, we also need to receive them, don't we?

     But what if we're not receiving life-giving words back in the measure our hearts seem to call out for?

     Each day is different; one morning your preschooler may snuggle in and whisper, "Mommy, I love you so much I want to marry you," and we'll find the meter rise on our life-giving word tank.  But less than 12 hours may pass before our ears hear our older child stomp out of the room, saying, "Mom, you're just not fair - I wish I didn't live here," and we watch the same meter dangerously plummet near empty.

     How are we, as moms, supposed to stay fed on life-giving words when there isn't any way we can predict the next words that will flow from our husband's, friend's or children's mouths?

     First, we treasure each loving word that is shared and tuck them away safely in our hearts.

     Second, we ask God to help us calmly release each negative word that is thrown at us and quickly forgive the offender from our hearts.

     Third, we do our best to find safe places where life-giving words flow that we may have a source outside those who may be draining our tanks on a regular basis.

     Fourth - and most importantly - we go to THE SOURCE of all life, Jesus Christ.  Not just when we're low, but daily, regardless of where our meters are at.  Isaiah 55 calls out to us, when it says...
     "All who are thirsty, come to the water...buy without money-everything's free!
      Why do you spend your money on junk food...fill yourself with only the finest.
      Pay attention, come close now, listen carefully to my LIFE-GIVING, life-nourishing words.
      I'm making a lasting covenant commitment with you...
      You'll go out with joy, you'll be led into a whole and complete life."


     There's only one source where we can be guaranteed to find LIFE -- we must plunge ourselves into the words of God and let it speak to the places deep inside that hurt, ache and are withered.  Only our Creator can bring the lasting, LIFE-GIVING words that we need to hear, so that we may be found complete and whole, not lacking any good thing.

"Lions may grow weak and hungry,

but those who seek the Lord lack NO good thing."

Psalm 34:10

ON-TIME OR ON-HAPPY

     The speedometer rested below the speed limit and my relaxed husband was sporting his "not-a-care-in-the-world face".  His nonchalant demeanor greatly reminded me of my children's attitudes when they couldn't see any reason that "hurrying" was needed either.  I knew I should be thankful for his great mood but it just seemed to add to the swelling emotions I was experiencing, of being late.  And, although, the chatter in the back of our van did nothing for my sour mood, it at least reminded me that I was modeling actions for an audience of five!

     My foot tapped the passenger-side floor more anxiously than it should have . . . late again!  I growled inside and tried to chew on my tongue to keep from showing my frustration.  Being late means far more to me than it should, even though I keep chalking it up to being the "detail" person in the family.

     I refuse to spoil this day, I reminded myself, a few minutes will not make a big difference.  And as much as I knew I was right, I was bothered that I had to put out SO MUCH EFFORT to control my tongue for something so seemingly petty.  God, please help me, came the silent cry.

     This is growth for me -- one small choice at a time; while asking God to strengthen me!

     A choice not to vent the frustration that I feel inside.  A choice to smile when my shoulders hang heavy.  A choice to invite God into the mundane realities of daily life.

     Many times, we have a choice . . . we can either be ON-TIME or ON-HAPPY but we're not guaranteed both!

     I ask myself, "Am I going to treat today like the gift that it is or am I going to be the one responsible for destroying the potential happiness that's locked within these moments?"

     Some may say I'm being to hard on myself, but I don't believe I am.  I know the sound of God's still, small voice, reminding me to love at all times; not just when it suits me.   And the end of the story?  We arrived at our destination safe, (mostly) happy and the appointment we were late for . . . well, they weren't ready for us yet anyway.  One small victory, thousands more to go -- one day, one moment, at a time!

"Troubles can develop 

passionate patience in us."

Romans 5:3

DO I HAVE TO GROW OLD???

     The wispy, grey curls tucked her face into a beautiful blanket of age.  Her wrinkled, red lips opened and wisdom poured out with each word that came.  I felt my heart stir deep within -- God, do this work within my life too.  But do I know what that will require of me?  I'll have to grow old!

     Society has caused us to believe that aging is a curse . . . that getting old is the worst thing that can happen to anybody.

     According to market research, we spend 72 billion dollars on anti-aging products alone.  That doesn't even include hair colouring products, make-up and apparatuses to hide the sags.  What are we so afraid of?

     We're afraid of the one of the biggest lies of the century -- That we're NOT of value if we are aged.  It reminds me of another tragic lie that our society is currently promoting -- Children are NOT a blessing.  It seems anything that God promotes as good, is twisted into something that should be avoided.  How else could we be deceived into missing the blessings God has planned for us?


     We desperately need God's truth.

     This leads us to the Word and we discover . . .

• "The silver-haired is a crown of glory." Proverbs 16:31
• "They will still yield fruit in their old age." Psalm 92:14
• "Gray hair (is) the splendor of the old." Proverbs 20:29

     Aging is the culmination of God's work in our lives.  The place where, if we have followed hard after Him, we have sagacity that abounds and can be shared with others.

   
     I don't know where YOUR birthday falls on the calendar for the coming year, but go to that date in your mind and ask the Lord what blessings He has for you.  Ask God to encourage your heart.  Remind yourself that you can only age at exactly the rate God has deemed best and He's doing a great work in you.

     Celebrate exactly the age you are TODAY and don't dread the good things God has planned ahead!  Remember we are modeling for our children the ways they will anticipate aging too.

"Abraham was now very old,

and the Lord had blessed him

in EVERY way."

Genesis 24:1

WANTING THE BEST

     Every day, I watch eyes twinkle and flash . . . faces smile and frown . . . feet run and stomp, and I feel awestruck and sometimes overwhelmed!  I'm amazed that God trusts me to raise these children.  Do you ever feel the same way?  Like your head is spinning with the reality of the task in front of you?

     You and I, as moms, know something that most of our children will not discover for years  -- we know that from the very core of our being we want the best for our children.  But the irony is we don't always know what "BEST" is supposed to look like, do we?

     For all the time we spend pouring over parenting books, scanning through relevant websites and devouring the latest magazines on child-rearing; sometimes we feel further behind than ahead.  That's nothing new . . . how do you think Dr. Spock sold 50 million copies of his child training book?  We're not the first generation of parents to wonder what's best, but we're definitely the generation most inundated with information!

     Information is at our fingertips and sources drip with opinions and theories, but how do we know if it's the "right" advice?


     If we genuinely desire the best for our kids, we'd better be sure we have a filter in place that all this information can flow through -- do you know what that filter should look like?  It's a book -- no, it's THE BOOK!  It comes in all different shapes, sizes and colours -- and although New York Times bestseller's lists don't acknowledge it anymore, it's been on the #1 best seller's list for years.  It's the Bible, God's words to us, and it offers every bit of the direction we so desperately need for discerning what is really BEST.

     A quote, that dates back 2,000 years ago, says it well . . .
"We ourselves are rather an example to many than imitators of others."  Pericles, 5 BC


     The "best" that we seek to discover for our children begins here -- not seeking to imitate others, but to boldly put all the knowledge we discover through the perfect filter of God's Word and choose to be examples, rather than imitators.

"Keep company with God,

get in on the BEST."

Psalm 37:4

WHY DO I NEED TO BE RIGHT?

     Close your eyes and see if you can you hear a recent conversation in your head . . . Someone you love, probably your husband, is telling a story in a group of friends and you observe that he made a small mistake on a detail -- well, of course, you do what any "good" wife would do -- you jump in and "fix" it for him. 

     Ohhhh!  The second I do that, I find myself mentally stomping my foot and physically biting down on my tongue.  Why did I do that again?, I fume at myself.  Why do I think I need to be right??!!

     A vicious cycle continues on . . . more "husband" stories, more "wifely" corrections . . . I keep learning the same lesson over again but it doesn't seem to stick in my head.  (And I'm the same mom who feels frustrated when my kids have to be told something more than ONCE?)

     I know my husband needs my honour far more than he needs my corrections.

     In fact, if I could replay all those conversations, I'm sure I would experience heat flooding my face and tears slipping down my reddened cheeks for the embarrassment of how TRULY TRIVIAL all my self-important corrections were in hind-sight.  I've heard that hind-sight is 20/20 and I'm sure my source of wisdom is correct.

     I love my husband too much to keep on correcting -- "God, you've got to help me humble myself so I can keep my lips still in these moments of life."  I'm capable of so much harm and so much good ~ all wrapped up in the package of one wife.

     Do you know what's worse?  Now my oldest children are getting to the age where I have more of the same opportunities with them.  Oh, they just don't realize they're a little off on the detail, I'll just interject a bit of my "wisdom". 

     Oh, Kristen, don't you realize you don't offer anything but shame and embarrassment?

     I desire to honour these precious people that God has placed in my life, but it requires self-control with my words.  Who really cares if I'm right or not?  Honestly?  Only me.  I need to decrease so that Christ may increase in my life.

"Don't be selfish; don't try

to impress others.  Be humble,

thinking of others as better

than yourselves."

Philippians 2:3



NOT PROVERBS 31 AGAIN!!!!

     Any mom who's been around the "church block" a few times has probably heard of the Proverbs 31 woman -- some look to her for inspiration, some look to her with confusion and many look to her with disdain.  

     "Another way I don't measure up!!!"

     "Another list of things to do, when I can't even finish the one I have now!!!"

     "Another reminder of all the ways I've failed as a woman!!!"

     To these thoughts, and the many more that may race through your head, I want to stand up on the tip of the tallest building with a giant, red megaphone in hand and yell . . . 

     "NOOOOOO, don't believe those lies!  God's voice doesn't sound like discouragement; that's the enemy of our souls trying to get us to give up completely on doing this motherhood thing!"

     God's voice sounds like 
          VISION, 
               HOPE and 
                    LIFE!   


     The purposes embedded within the words of Proverbs 31 are meant to show us the direction God wants us to go (VISION), to show us that with God's help things will get easier (HOPE) and to show us that when we follow God's ways there is blessing (LIFE).

     Think about the Ten Commandments -- who can read that list and confidently call out, "Check, check, check, yep, I've kept all those!"?  We need to look at the dreaded Proverbs chapter in the same way -- it may be God's ultimate goal for us but He doesn't hold lists over our heads -- that's not how He works.  That's how the enemy works to twist God's truths and make us feel ashamed of what we yet are not!

     We know from many of the references found in Proverbs 31, that this woman doesn't fall into the category of an exhausted, new mom drowning in wet diapers; nor is she a young mom of toddlers making another round of PB&J . . . she's a woman with years of practice, training and experience under her belt.  Over years of walking with the Lord, she has found the ways to gain rest in God's presence and wisdom from His Word -- she is at the other end of this crazy ride called mothering, looking back.

     IF we keep pressing into God, someday we'll be there too; and by His grace alone, our children will "rise up and call us blessed", but for now they may just call us MOM.

     So take a few minutes to pick up your Bible tonight -- somewhere between changing over another load of dirty laundry and that midnight feeding that's still to come -- and look at the words that flow from Proverbs 31, fresh again.  The book of Isaiah says the Lord gently leads those that have young!  That's us, moms.  No extreme expectations, no ridiculous check lists -- He leads us gently!

"There has never been the slightest

doubt in my mind that the God who

started this great work in you would

keep at it and bring it to a flourishing

finish on the very day Christ Jesus appears."

Philippians 1:6   MSG

     P.S.  If you think another mom needs to hear this, please click "share" and pass it along...I'm praying for you!

    
   

GIVE YOURSELF A LITTLE GRACE

     Something unique happens in our lives when we become moms of little ones – we find ourselves in a season of dirty diapers, feedings, fussing, and being in constant demand. It’s a stage of life that we’ve most likely never been in before, and once those little ones grow up a bit, we’ll likely not be there ever again.

     Since the youngest of my five children has departed from the preschool years, I often find myself reflecting on what I've left behind.

     I LOVED my babies; the smell of sweet skin, the fuzz of their little heads, and the way only a baby can snuggle into the warmth of your arms. I miss that SO MUCH! But, I also remember the exhaustion, the feelings of being alone and overwhelmed, and wishing my family wasn't three borders away!

     Could it be that the "babies stage" is one of the most challenging seasons in our entire lives?

     In those moments of juggling babies, diapers and doctor's appointments; we do what most moms would -- we frantically search for wisdom!  We look for those who have gone before us and can make it easier, tell us how it should be done and offer us hope that this WILL get easier.  And that's good, BUT...

     When you read the words of the wise that have gone before you, please remember something…you need to give yourself a little grace. 

     My guess is 9 times out of 10 our sources of wisdom are further ahead in the journey than we are -- and God tells us to search them out (Job 12 tells us that wisdom is found among the aged and long life brings understanding)  -- they are wonderful places to learn from.  But remember, those same sources may sometimes forget the detail; the intensity of the tiredness, the extreme busyness of a toddler and reality of daily demands.  You need to combine grace with whatever you read / hear / see.

     God’s Word is our primary source of survival in every stage, and when our babes are in arms, that's where we'll find direction mixed beautifully with grace; everything else that comes to us by way of information, is secondary, if anything at all. Even as I type these words I am so aware that my memory fails me on the details of countless sleepless nights, although I know I will never forget them completely.


     Don’t neglect the words of the wise that come from so many sources, but if necessary, DO take them with a grain of salt.

     Be patient with yourself – God is patient with you – and you WILL get to where you need to be, one “grace” day at a time.  (And if you are struggling with good 'ol Proverbs 31 mom -- we're going to talk about her next time)

"If any of you lacks wisdom,

you should ask God, who gives 

generously to all."

James 1:5

BIG PICTURE VISION

     As I sat in the Sunday morning service, I began to see dots connecting in my mothering brain, as our pastor gave the message.  He was speaking of the difference between having tunnel vision (only seeing what is right in front of us) and big picture vision (seeing beyond the immediate) in different areas of life; but I began to see how easily I used to have, and can still fall back into the trap of, tunnel vision in parenting.

     Even though my vision for parenting has increased with each year that our children have grown, I still find every once in a while that I start to wish I could go back to the earlier years with the perspective I have now.  It's not that I did things "wrong" back then (although I know I made lots of mistakes), it's just that I see more clearly now the WHY of so many parenting issues that I felt overwhelmed by then.

     In the early years it's so easy to parent primarily out of tunnel vision -- it's what is happening right in front of us...the whining child who won't relent, the crying baby who won't settle, the defiant toddler who insists on their way...these are examples of all-consuming moments, aren't they?  

     You may ask, "How can I even imagine a bigger picture when it's so hard right now?"

     But then it happens, you get ahead a little further in the journey and you realize that what you are doing now is for the purpose of the future...it makes the "no" answers, that we have to give our children, contain greater purpose than just what is happening in the stressful moment of today.

     It really boils down to Proverbs 22:6 when we're told to, "Train up a child in the way he should go, so that WHEN HE IS OLD he will not depart."  Not old -- as in 2 days older -- but old as in years later -- that, my friend, is BIG picture vision.

     IF we can grasp a glimpse of this in our parenting, it could radically transform the way we view the challenges of each day!  What if we saw the frustrations we experience on a regular basis as fresh opportunities to lay foundation stones that our child will need to function as a godly adult?

"Bring (your children) up in

the training and instruction 

of the Lord."

Ephesians 6:4

Soap Watching

    

     I hurried up the stairs, taking them two by two and rushed into the bathroom.  "Are you done yet?" I asked in a classic, impatient mother voice. 

     "What do you mean?" responded my dripping wet child. 

     "You were supposed to wash yourself with the soap bar while I was downstairs," I huffed.

     "Oh, well, I didn't wash but I WAS looking at the soap bar while you were gone," she stated.

     I groaned and began to scrub.

     But how often am I just like my child when it comes to God's Word?  I look at the "soap" but do not wash . . .

     It's no different than the verse in James that says we are not just to be hearers of God's Word, but doers also.  If I faithfully take time in the Word each day and study and memorize Scripture but never DO what it says, then I'm just a "soap watcher" and no more.

     God's Word is like soap; if it's going to have any affect in my life, I have to use it and often.  Just looking at it will benefit no one!

      Picture a brand-new bar of exquisite soap from the finest store; then imagine the thrill of it sweet smoothness running over your skin and the perfume filling your senses -- why pass up an opportunity to savour that in our daily lives? 

     Never does, no, never should a day go by that we are not aware of how much we need God's truth to be active in our lives -- not sitting on a shelf as knowledge, but moving and living in us as we go about our day.  May God show each of us how to stop passively watching the "soap", so that we can begin passionately using it. 

"For if you listen to the Word

and don't obey, it is like glancing

at your face in a mirror. 
You see yourself, walk away,

and forget what you look like."

James 1:23&24