Making the Most of Summer

     Who doesn't love summer?  Warm breezes, cool water, sweet berries, long days and laughing children.

     Unfortunately there are also laundry piles, dirty floors, grumpy kids, doctor's appointments and messy beds.

     How do we balance out happy moments of free time with our ever-present responsibilities, so that when we sit chilled by a fire in the dead of winter, our reflections of summer will warm our hearts with a thankfulness of time well spent?

     A few guidelines can send us on our way to making the most of summer . . .

• Break each day into three parts a)morning b)afternoon c) supper & evening
• Create goals or plans for each part of the day, no matter how simple they are
• Tell your children the plan so they can be prepared &/or anticipating what is coming (this will also keep you accountable)
• Intersperse jobs, appt's and errands with play, outings and fun
• Be flexible & keep it simple

     Sample Goals:  
     Day One ~ Morning - dust main floor, Afternoon - read a chapter of a book together, Evening - go for a walk as a family
     Day Two ~ Morning - meet friends at the beach, Afternoon - clean out linen closet, Evening - play a round of Uno
     Day Three ~ Morning - dr. appt, Afternoon - build with lego, Evening - play as a family in the backyard

     The ages of your children don't matter -- if they're too little to play Uno, then stack towers or read a board book. 

     If you're a parent then chances are you, too, savor the feeling of falling into bed at night knowing you have intentionally invested in your child(ren).

     A plan allows us that experience . . . it shows our children that they're precious to us and we want to be with them, while we still balance the tasks of regular life.

     The benefit of a plan this simple is that obviously there are many more hours in the day that we can CHOOSE how to fill, but this gives us a starting point.  If you are anything like me, you may find once this is in place, many more positive choices follow theses simple ones. 

     The key is we all have to start somewhere -- if what you do is far more complex and works for you already, then congrats, keep going; but if you don't have anything in place then I challenge you to give this a try for one week.  Ask the Lord to guide your mind to creative ideas and be sure to keep it realistic (& flexible when weather changes).  Time goes faster than any of us would like . . . let's make the most of it!

"There's an opportune time

to do things, a right time

for everything on the earth."

Ecclesiastes 3:1



Entertain ME

     Have you heard the alarming news?  An epidemic of monstrous proportions is sweeping across the country, even as your eyes scan over the bold type of this page, it is increasing in severity.  It is the disease of "entertainment" and many children are experiencing severe symptoms accompanied by concerning side effects.  Worse yet, although it was once thought to be a childhood illness, it has been found to travel to adults as well.

     Do you know of what I am speaking?  Have you seen some of the symptoms in your home? 

     The early warning signs are exhibited through whining and complaining with sporadic use of the "B" word (bored).  But as the condition goes untreated its effects become more severe: refusal to help around the house, addiction to electronic games and toys, extended time watching television, inability to venture outside four walls, complete loss of interest in the Bible and church . . . on and on the list goes.

     You may think I'm simply attempting humour but I'm not.  This is an attempt to draw your attention to something I feel is of prodigious proportions . . . our children are being pulled towards an intense vaccuum labelled "ENTERTAIN ME" and beyond that suction entry point is a deep dark hole from which it is very hard to return.

     Never before have our children been less "needed" when it comes to responsibilties in real life.

     Never before have there been so many ways to relax, play and consume.

     Never before have we, as parents, felt at such a loss for the right way to go.

     How the Disease Grows:

1. Children are not required to help around the house or contribute to those around them
2. Children are not monitored for reasonable amounts of electronic games, movies & TV
3. Children are left to their own schedules, not incorporated into family life
4. Children are allowed to muddle at a lower standard and are not called to God's standard
5. Children are permitted to believe they are THE WORLD instead of only a part of the world

    
     Part of the Cure:

1. Find ways for each child to know they are a necessary part of the home and community you live in -- responsibilities with meals, clean up, yard work, visiting shut-ins, making cookies for a neighbour, helping a sibling, etc...
2. Don't be soft on media-- if you have game systems and televsions then be SURE you know what they are playing and watching, and set allotted times and STICK TO IT -- lack of consistency often lies more in the parent than the child
3. Prayfully look at your days and weeks, then set a rhythm and routine that incorporates the BIG ROCKS first (read more here from a previous post -- Begin with the End)
4. Stay firm on the standards that God has placed in His Word and expect each child to do the same -- it is too easy to look at the "Joneses" and assume our kids are fine with medicore
5. Gently show each child that they are precious but God has placed many other people around them that they can love and serve, and be sure as the parent that you place your relationship with God and your spouse as high priority

      This isn't meant to be a list of rules -- can do's and can't do's -- that's not how God works! 

     But as parents, we need to be very aware and vigilant of how serious this problem is . . . many frustrated organizations report young adults can't hold down jobs because they are up half the night playing video games, mothers soberly whisper of daughters who act as if no one else in this world matters but them, and fathers break down in tears because they have lost the opportunity to mold their sons.

     We need to realize that the small things we do now with our children will enable them to do big things later when they are adults.  Most importantly, we must see that God has called us to train up our children in the way they should go and that begins NOW, not next week.

"I raised you up for this very

purpose, that I might display

My power in you and that

My name might be proclaimed

in all the earth."

Romans 9:17



     

Can't I Linger Longer?

The alarm clock shatters the silence of the early morning stillness and I stretch out in the dark to cease the unwelcome vociferation.  In my head, I overhear the same familiar thoughts that seem to haunt me each morning...Just take a few more minutes of rest, don't you think you deserve it?  It is so snug and pleasant, maybe if you linger just a short time, it won't make a difference.  Oh, but it will!  I only need remind myself of the days gone by when I have chosen additional respite, and then the memories of the ramifications flow like a raging river.  No, I tell myself, the few minutes of resting here will be regretted far into the afternoon if I choose to be so selfish. It is time to get up!

The calling of responsibilities, it seems, will forever be at war with the fleshly side of who I am...the mom, who when nestled in her ivory fleece sheets, feels more like a cat curled in the sunshine, than the one in charge of a household of seven.  I, the one who loves order as much as a general in the army, must remind myself that one portion of routine cannot be savoured if I have not followed through with the earlier portion of self-discipline.  And so, it is out of bed I find myself, without granting permission for "snooze" to be touched, and into the shower to begin my day.

As I work a thick lather of sweet-smelling soap into my hair, I ponder again those words of old...yes, God grants sleep to those He loves (Psalm 127), but strange, nowhere in the Bible does He take time to tell me to get enough sleep.  He seems to know that I am prone to favour the snare of laziness.  Is it not safe to conclude that my Creator knew I would gravitate to sleep like a fly to butter, and it is I who am in need of the cautioning verses like Proverbs 19:15?  In the Message it words it well by saying, "Life collapses on the loafers; lazybones go hungry."  And as much as I might wince when I hear of the woman from Proverbs 31, I have to give her credit - her lights were on late into the evening and she was up before sunrise...I am seeing the similarities of our lives.

My thoughts are suspended as there is a "POUND, POUND" at the door of the bathroom.  I hear the elevated voice of my child, trying to be heard above the flow of water, "Are we having toast and honey today?"  Do their stomachs really groan of hunger so early in the morning, or is it just a guise to burst the bubble of tranquility that their mother had been savouring?  Either way, the time has come to end the enticing flow of hot water over my skin, and I step out of the shower and into the day that awaits me. 

By the time I am standing at the breakfast counter, across from five of the sweetest faces I will ever gaze upon, I am reminded of the reason I rose with the clock, and not with my fleshly choosing.  It was in order that I might relish the delicate rhythms of routine and order that come with life in a timely manner, as opposed to struggling through the rush and tension that would be bearing down on us all, IF mommy had chosen to linger longer.

"Love not sleep, lest you come to poverty; Open your eyes and you will be satisfied with bread (toast and honey maybe?)." Proverbs 20 :13

Just Do the Next Thing

Have you ever looked around your house, and all there is to do, and just wanted to cry? Or maybe you really have cried...don't feel bad, that seems to be the reality of certain days and times during this journey of parenting. But I do have some good news ~ I've discovered an effective way to tackle mess when it threatens to overtake our homes.

Many years ago, I watched a video set by Elisabeth Elliot entitled A Peaceful Home, and found it full of wonderful truths; but what impacted me more than anything else, were four little words that she suggested ~ "DO THE NEXT THING!" Elisabeth expanded on this principle and shared ways that were practical to bring order, but there was nothing new or surprising. The fruit of the whole teaching for me truly seemed to come from hearing that expression.

I have applied DO THE NEXT THING for more than ten years now and still find myself using it; but because it had become so routine I had not considered sharing it until one of our recent Mom's Nights, in the spring. A few months later, I had some moms came back and tell me that they now have the expression running through their heads when they are trying to tackle their houses with all that needs to be done, and it has helped them tremendously. This caused me to realize that it was not just benefiting me, and therefore it should be passed along.

So, how can you transform your life with these four little words? The only way to do that, that I know of, is for me to walk you through what I do when every room in my house seems to be in disarray (maybe it won't work for you, but give it a try). So, here it goes...

    Let's imagine on any given day, that as I pause at noon and take inventory of what has been happening on various levels and in various rooms; I find a significant amount of chaos in each area (not very hard to imagine, so far, is it?). The first thing I would do, is call the children to the areas that I know they can handle working on to start sorting and cleaning (I realize if you have only babies and toddlers this requires moms doing most of the work - but don't worry, it will pay off for you later). Next, I would go to the room I find most important for me to have in order and start working there until it is back to my standard (that room and standard may be different for each of us, so apply what you would do - for me it is my kitchen and clear counters is my standard). Then, I would go to the next room or area and stay there until it is completed - this can mean utilizing baskets or my helpers to carry things, depending on how much there is to sort. I would continue on in this process until everything is tidied up in each area on all levels. Although it may sound long, even with 5 kids and a 2 storey house, I can usually be done in about 20 minutes. Don't let this seem overwhelming, it shouldn't - the whole time I am working on organizing I simply tell myself that I just have to DO THE NEXT THING.  The reality is that when I am done, I am able to do all my other tasks with much better efficiency and pleasure.

A few keys that help me are:

- Start with the area most important to have clean, then think of what areas are good to have tidy next, in case of drop in guests

- Relax and don't get stressed - cleanliness is NOT next to godliness
(When I shared this with a dear friend, she responded , "Thank you so much for this one particular line...That little cliche plays clearly in my head so often when my house gets messed up - in such a condemning way that I know exactly where it's from. And I know that is not to say that we should forgo keeping a clean and tidy house, rather that an untidy house from time to time does not mean we are failing at being a godly woman." - I could not have said it so well)

- During the whole clean up, keep reminding yourself that you only have to DO THE NEXT THING

- My goal is tidy, not perfect; but the benefits are good for all - even our young ones will play with more focused attention when their areas of play are kept ordered

For me, I have found that when I plan for these clean up times after breakfast (checking bedrooms for beds made), at lunch (from morning events) and again in the evening, the mess is kept in very manageable amounts. The old saying remains true, though, "If I fail to plan, then I plan to fail".  I have to remind myself that although this discipline is not "fun", it is of great value to the function of our home.  Planning to stay on top of disorder, can bring peace to our homes in ways we may need more than we realize.

Proverbs 21:5, in the Message, says,
"Careful planning puts you ahead in the long run;

hurry and scurry puts you further behind."