Being the "Bad Guy"

Some days parenting is just plain, old-fashioned hard work!  You know the kind of days that I am referring to, don't you?  They are the ones that, no matter how hard you try, as a mom you end up being the "bad guy"out of necessity.  I, personally, do not enjoy these days very much and I continually need to remind myself that they are for a greater purpose than the pleasure of a happy child in the moment.

  Our children do not know what is best for themselves and one of our roles as parents is to direct them in proper choices.  Proverbs 22:6 says we are to, "Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it."  I recently heard it shared that this means we need to discover the "bent" that each of our children has been given and work with them in the ways need to be taught.  This means hard work and hard choices...when they want to do something that is not good for them, it means saying "no".  It means that if they are acting in ways that they should not be acting, we need to correct them.  It means that if they are not showing respect to us as parents, or others in their lives, they need to be shown that is not right.  The challenge in all of those examples is that it means we will look like, and possibly feel like, the "bad guy".

Our choices in shaping our children for the future have to be directed by a vision for what we want them to become, not how we "feel" in the moment.  It is too easy, especially in this culture, not to bother training our children because we are too tired, or too busy, or too whatever.  We live in a time where anything goes and there are excuses for everything!  I have a long way to go with my children and I seem to wear the "bad guy" hat often enough, but I wear it with love for my children and a desire to see them grow into adults who will be a blessing to many around them.

I recently watched a friend remove her daughter from a situation that she was misbehaving in and take her off alone to address the issue - I was so proud of her!  It wasn't convenient, it wasn't fun, it wasn't easy, but that didn't matter - it was accomplishing the long term goal of a well behaved child that will grown into beautiful adult.  We need to keep the same focus with our children - it is too easy to think that when we overlook bad behaviour it won't make a difference - just this once - but it will.  Just this once, too easily becomes the default for the way we address issues with our children and they are so smart, they know what they can get away with and what they can't.

The harder we work in the earlier years, the greater the fruit will be later on - it is worth it!  Hebrews 12:11 says, "No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful.  Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it."