What is Healthy Tension?

  

     It's great to say we have permission to experience varying degrees of tension in our homes -- but what does healthy tension look like?  How do we open the big black door marked TENSION and still sustain the balance that honours God in all we say and do?

     If you are like me, you might wish for a list of neatly typed rules -- what you "can" and "can't" do -- laid out in black and white.  But instead when we search out the Scriptures we find that God gives us guidelines . . . always God goes back to the heart.

     One of the best ways to discern God's intent for our responses to tension is look at His character and learn to imitate Him. 

     In Exodus 34:6 we glimpse a few of God's attributes that can apply to how we deal with tension in a healthy way -- "The compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness."

     Filled with compassion and graciousness makes it easier to respond in the way God would want. 

     Slow to anger allows ourselves time to ponder what the real issues could be. 

     Abounding in love and faithfulness makes us a SAFE person to be with, even when there is tension.

     I encourage you to replace the goal of NO tension in your home (which can also be called conflict avoidance) with the goal of HEALTHY tension in your home.  With God's help, may each of our families learn salubrious methods of working tension out to completion so that our relationships are deeper, richer and stronger in the end.

"Be quick to listen,

slow to speak and

slow to become angry."

James 1:19