As Though They Were

     The numbers roll off her tongue like raindrops on a windowpane - fast and furious.  "Two plus two is four.  Four plus four is eight.  Eight plus eight is sixteen.  Sixteen plus . . . "  On and on the numbers increase, continuing into the hundreds.  It isn't unusual except that she's only six years old, and she's ours. 

     We encourage and applaud.  We are amazed.

     This, in turn, means that she tries even harder to say them faster and learn them farther.  This makes me wonder -- Does she do this so well because we encourage or because she would anyway?

     I don't know the answer.  But I do know that almost anyone will run fatster or jump higher when they are spurred on by the sounds of a cheering crowd in the stands as opposed to silence, but is that what brings the success?  Beyond math facts, what about the rest of life that spreads out before our children?

    My mind races to remember where that verse is in the Bible -- the one that says what God speaks over us.  Oh yes, Romans 4:17.  It says that, "God...calls things that are not as though they were."

     I think of the achievements and failures in my own life and I'm thankful that God calls things in my life that are not as though they are.  I'm relieved that someone believes in my future when I don't.

     If this is what God does for us, then would it not be what we are called to do for our children?  Speak blessing into their future, whether we see the tangible evidence in front of us or not.

     Would you rather aim high in life when someone is whispering in your ear that you CAN do it or when a brash voice is pointing a execrative finger at where you failed again? 

     It doesn't mean we never correct our children and their poor or wrong behaviour.  No, that must be done so that they can be taught to learn from their mistakes.  BUT, what are the words they hear during the other 23 hours in the day? 

     "I am so proud of you for helping your sister fix her toy." 
                               OR
     "Why didn't you clean the mess that you and your sister left?"

     "You are doing a great job being careful not to interrupt conversations."
                               OR
     "Why did you keep tugging on my arm when I was talking?"

     "Thanks for speaking gently to your brother this morning."
                                OR
     "Why couldn't you be nicer to your brother?"


     You see, I've learned a few things about myself as a parent:

1. I tend to see what is out of order, before I appreciate what is in order
2. I am more likely to point out what I want to see changed than what I like
3. I would be more tempted to speak a criticism than a blessing

     Why would I confess these sad realities about my parenting to you?  Because every day I am reminded that I have two ways of looking at the relationships that I am blessed to be surrounded by -- either I will see the negative and speak the continuation of the same in my loved one's lives, OR I will look for the positive and speak with a mouth of hope towards those I love, just as God does for me.

    I want taste honey when I lick my lips, not vinegar. 

    I must evaluate the words that sit on my tongue BEFORE I let them escape, not after.  The same lesson I continue to instruct my children with applies to me -- think before you speak.  If I can look for and find the good, it needs to be given a voice.  And if I can't find the good, then I need to speak with hope -- to call those things that aren't as though they were.

"For in hope we were saved.

Now hope that is seen is not hope,

because who hopes for what he sees?

But if we hope for what we do not see,

we eagerly wait for it with endurance."

Romans 8:24 & 25