When I think of the phrase ~ Sibling Rivalry ~ it always takes me back to an old episode of Home Improvement. Jill, the aspiring psychologist, asks her husband, Tim, if he knows what causes the sibling rivalry; his response is priceless, "Of course, having more than one child".
That is about the extent of it, isn't it? Any of us that have had more than one child, knows what it is to watch two or more of your own children (who you love with equal passion), hurt each other with either words or actions.
I remember in the earlier years of parenting, being very discouraged by this reality and one day coming across an article by a godly, homeschooling mom of 8 (Teri Maxwell). In her article she shared that God had shown her a new way of processing the arguments between her children - instead of allowing herself to feel upset when her children were fighting, she looked at it as a new opportunity to teach them how to love each other.
This may seem idealistic, but it has helped me tremendously since I read it 7 years ago. My children still argue, bicker and fight, and as a mom, I still experience feelings of frustration and disappointment, but I feel that I have learned how to address those issues much better than I used to. Having the outlook of a "new opportunity" instead of "another frustration" really makes a difference because of my perspective.
These are the training years with our children, the foundations for how they process life for the next 80+ years, the time to help them learn - they need God's help to learn how to show love to others as much as we do. Theodore Tripp refers to this as the place where we are on the same level with our children since we all struggle, but still above them because we are their parents. May we be setting the best example possible.
"Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else." I Thess.5:13
That is about the extent of it, isn't it? Any of us that have had more than one child, knows what it is to watch two or more of your own children (who you love with equal passion), hurt each other with either words or actions.
I remember in the earlier years of parenting, being very discouraged by this reality and one day coming across an article by a godly, homeschooling mom of 8 (Teri Maxwell). In her article she shared that God had shown her a new way of processing the arguments between her children - instead of allowing herself to feel upset when her children were fighting, she looked at it as a new opportunity to teach them how to love each other.
This may seem idealistic, but it has helped me tremendously since I read it 7 years ago. My children still argue, bicker and fight, and as a mom, I still experience feelings of frustration and disappointment, but I feel that I have learned how to address those issues much better than I used to. Having the outlook of a "new opportunity" instead of "another frustration" really makes a difference because of my perspective.
These are the training years with our children, the foundations for how they process life for the next 80+ years, the time to help them learn - they need God's help to learn how to show love to others as much as we do. Theodore Tripp refers to this as the place where we are on the same level with our children since we all struggle, but still above them because we are their parents. May we be setting the best example possible.
"Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else." I Thess.5:13
Good post Kristen! And I can confirm that you did in fact struggle with getting along with your siblings. ;-) Hah hah.
ReplyDeleteThank you my sweet brother!
ReplyDeleteDo you still have that article? ...help! =(
ReplyDelete