Gender Confusion

I am sure you have heard the expression, "Boys will be boys (and Girls will be girls)". Such a simple statement but so full of truth, isn't it?

I remember reading a report, years ago, by Dr. James Dobson, that told of a national toy store that was being severely criticized for maintaining a "girls" section and a "boys" section in their store. In response to the criticism from the public, they spent hundreds of thousands of dollars, reordering all their stores to place all types of toys in combinations for boys as girls as opposed to being in separate sections. Guess what happened? The customers hated it, the kids couldn't figure out where to shop and months later, the national toy chain put everything back the way it was!

This is obviously not a mind boggling report - but it is one that caught my attention back then and stuck...here is the reason - We live in a society that does not know which way is up when it comes to values, roles and basic healthy function. In the past, as a culture, we took our cues from biblical values but many now take their cues from Hollywood values. And even if that is not where we desire to take our cues from, we, as Christians, are still strongly influenced by the secular world because we are so surrounded by it wherever we go - billboards, newspapers, internet, movies, tv, neighbours, etc... So how do we direct our children when it comes to being sure of who they are?

Genesis 1:27 says that, "God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; MALE and FEMALE he created them." Right from the beginning of creation God had very special plans for two different types of human beings - boys and girls. As we train up our little ones, it is important that, as parents, we know where to direct them. Where do we begin? Most importantly, their identities (and ours for that matter) must be secure in WHO they are in Jesus Christ - what does that look like? They need to be encouraged over and over by us, as parents, that they are precious to God, that He loves them without conditions, that He rejoices over them, that He created them with a purpose, that they are the apple of His eye,..on it goes. ,we need to be prayerfully asking God what He has for each of them - being careful that we do not force higher forms of education or expectations on them, if it is not where God would have them heading.

For our boys, this can mean helping them think through a job that will provide well for their families some day, while also allowing them to be available as fathers when that time comes. For our girls, it can mean affirming their desire to be mommies some day, and not wiping those thoughts away in greater pursuits of careers and education. I want to tread carefully because I realize this is very much a place of personal opinion for many - but I am listening to young moms who are so lost because they have invested years into a career, are still carrying debt but have babies they want to be home with. The world is telling them to pursue what is best for themselves and their career but the reality is that our children need the security and safety that only a parent can provide.

God created genders for a reason and if we are to parent our children clearly, from the start, we need to have a solid idea of where that direction should take them. We, as parents, are the ones who have the greatest influence on them in these early years, but as everyone tells us when our first baby is born - that time goes fast. We need to know how to shape their hearts so that they can walk with confidence in ALL God has created them to be and to do.