One of my greatest desires for my children as they grow up, is that they learn how to be servants to those around them. Not in ways that they are taken advantage of, but in ways that they have learned what it is to serve others. John 12:26 says, "Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be. My Father will honour the one who serves me." I want this for my children - to know how to follow after Jesus and to be honoured by our Heavenly Father.
I remember in the very early days, trying to teach my three year old what it meant to be a servant. I had explained to him the Bible said that the first shall be last and the last will be first - in an effort to show that God does honour us when we put others first. It was only a few days later I overheard him telling his baby sister that she should give him a toy he wanted. His reason to her was this, "You know, the Bible says, the first will be first and the last will be last, so you need to give it to me." Obviously we have had to do lots more training since those early days, but it is beginning to take deep roots in their lives and I am encouraged.
What has surprised me most as I have walked out the journey of parenting this far, is that our children don't naturally want to be servants! To a degree, I expected that, but to the extent that I have had to work and continue to work to help them see their need to be willing to serve is something that I, as a parent, need to be encouraged in over and over. I have worked hard to serve my family and model to my children what serving looks like and I have found great joy in that, but children don't just become servants because we serve them. In fact, one of the saddest things I watch in some families is when children are not required to help carry the load of a house and they become selfish and content to never lift a finger. So, in many efforts to keep this from occurring in our home, we have worked hard to train them in serving others.
I write this today because I want to encourage other moms who may feel, as I have felt in the past, that if I just keep doing things for them they will learn how to serve. I don't want to be the bearer of bad news, but except for the odd rarity in children (and I don't have any of them), children will need to be required to help and serve in the family over and over and over again. It is one of the many areas of parenting that we need to sow lots of seeds for many years and wait patiently for the harvest. There are two reasons I know there is hope for a harvest: one, because after 13 years of sowing I am beginning to see children pitch in when not asked once in a while and second, because I have wonderful, godly friends who have gone before and are reaping the benefits with beautiful servant adult children.
Please don't settle for the cultural norm which is to do most everything for your children while they take in the TV or video games...push past the arguments and the whining - we must train our children to be servants because they are the only hope of the next generation. Jesus was the greatest servant of all and if we are not willing to walk in His footsteps and train our children to do the same, the world will not see the difference in any of us. God has called us to follow Him and that requires being a servant to all - beginning in our homes and families - the training ground for us all.
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