Adoring Eyes



     The baby-blue eyes glanced my way, waiting for a nod of approval.  I lifted two thumbs high in the air and threw him back a smile.  Then watched as his grin started on his lips and moved all the way up to his eyes.  His head cocked and I savoured what I have come to recognize as adoring eyes.

     My heart soared for a moment and then a shadow fell.  These may be the last of the adoring eyes I savour in my lifetime, I thought.  The realization came heavy and unwelcoming.  Parenting brings such extreme joy and such great challenge combined, but one of my favourite rewards has definitely been the opportunity to be loved so unreservedly.

     The short years we are given to be the heroine in a little one's eyes is an incredible gift -- and all too soon the sun sets on that stage of motherhood.

     Have I treasured it enough?

     Have I earned their respect?

     Have I used these days to establish the foundations required for the rest of the journey?

     I'll never cease being amazed that God entrusts little ones to us, even for a season, never.  The gift of a little heart that trusts you, little eyes that look at you so longingly with a smile that shines as big as a rainbow, will be embedded in my mind for my lifetime.

     But when the days get hard, we forget that the sun will ever set.  When the moments don't hold adoring eyes, we lose sight of the treasures we are standing beside.  This shouldn't be!

     One of my favourite classic films is Fiddler on the Roof, and as much as I square my shoulders and determine I will not cry at the wedding of their daughter, I always do.  The song shared by the mother and father moves my heart at the deepest levels, as they sing...

     Sunrise, sunset

     Sunrise, sunset

     Swiftly fly the years

     One season following another

     Laden with happiness and tears

     May we desire that, no matter the stage of mothering we find ourselves in, whether happiness or tears, that as the sun sets on one season and rises on another, we won't ever forget the richness of what God has entrusted to us!  He is the giver of good gifts and we are blessed to have beheld -- even for a moment -- those adoring eyes.

"Children are a gift 

from the Lord;

they are a reward from Him."

Psalm 127:3

Right Here, Right Now

     It was a dreary day in Walmart.  Crowded isles, pushy people and kids(mine) that would rather be anywhere but there.  For that matter, I was experiencing similar emotions -- there were a lot of other places I would rather be than at Walmart; buying the right size of underwear for my five year-old and checking out the price of deodorant for my twelve year-old.

     Then, I heard it; lyrics being sung from a song I hadn't heard in years...
     Right here, right now, 
     There is no other place I'd rather be...

     And I felt like God spoke to my heart through that secular song that was drifting through the overhead speakers.  In the "right here, right now", I had a choice:  feel sorry for myself as I wandered through Walmart OR look for the blessings in the moment and be choose to be thankful!

     I chose the thankful option.


     How often do we, as moms, wander through the "isles of daily life" and wish we were anywhere but here?  


     Maybe it's a cranky toddler or a vomiting preschooler.  Maybe it's a lack of funds and an abundance of bills to be paid.  Or maybe it's just a routine trip to the local department store.  Whatever it is, know that God is very present in every moment we experience.  God knows how we're feeling and He's able to carry us through those hard times.

     One of my favourite songs to hum and sing along with, when I was a little girl, was "He's Able"...
     He's able, He's able, I know He is able,
     I know my Lord is able to carry me through.

     So whether you walk away from your computer screen, whistling "He's Able" or "Right Here, Right Now", I hope that these thoughts linger long in the days ahead.  I hope that the take-away from this blog is that God is fully able to help us right where we are, so that regardless of the circumstances our hearts will be able to say that this is right where we want to be!

"Oh, look!  God's RIGHT HERE

helping!  God's on my side."

Psalm 54:4

   

Weary of Saying No

   The warm, yellow rays soothed my skin and I could feel my body start to relax.  Thank you, God, for sunshine and a moment of peace, 'cause mothering seems extra hard today.  How can one day seem so easy and immediately following, the next day seem so hard?

     So much that we experience in parenting is really a matter of our perspective, isn't it?

     If, in my mind, I felt that I shouldn't have to tell my children "no" more than ten times in a day, then on time # 11, I'd probably begin to experience weariness or frustration.

     What if I expected that my entire day -- minute by minute -- could require me to consistently hold to an answer previously given?  Would I then perceive that things are as they should be?

     You see, in this day by day, week by week, journey of parenting, I'm called to consistency.  It doesn't matter whether I feel tired or lazy, the same standard remains for me as mom, as it does for my kids as the children.

     How often, though, do I feel my children still need to adhere to obedience while I take a break on my congruity?


     When put into those terms, I see the need for more grace extended to my own self, as the mom, but also the need for more courage to keep going.  We all get weary . . . that's to be expected when we are tackling the greatest role there is out there!  But there's a difference between weariness (we need a break) and laziness (we just don't "feel" like it).

     How do we juggle it all?  We ask God to show us where the balance needs to be -- how to be willing to give ourselves a respite but then be ready to go back to our role with renewed love and gentle determination.  They say, "Rome wasn't built in a day" and fortunately neither are our children.  Each day is a fresh beginning and another opportunity to mold our children into who God wants them to become.

"We do not want you to become lazy,

but to imitate those who through faith

and patience inherit what has been promised."

Hebrews 6:12

P.S. ~  One fun thing to try, too, that I was told years ago -- is that although the word "no" can, and should, be used -- see how many other ways you can intersperse instruction with positive wording.  For example, instead of, "No, you can't have a sucker", try, "Even though you can't have a sucker, you may have an apple." It is so easy to get stuck in the police mode of no, no, no; when there are so many other happy ways to answer a precious question.  Keep loving those little ones!

Re.. what?

     The eyes portrayed what I suspected -- confusion.  I'd tried to keep my explanation brief and to the point for his age, but still I could tell I wasn't getting through.  Finally, it came . . .

     "Is what you did right or wrong in God's eyes?" I asked

     "Wrong," came the quiet answer.

     "So when we know something we've done is wrong, we need to tell God we're sorry and change the way we think about it so we'll want to do it right, God's way.  That's repentance."

     I imagine someone may think it foolish to try to explain repentance to a five year old, or maybe it even seems out of style, old-fashioned; but if we are believers in Jesus Christ then not ONE WORD in the Bible can ever become out of date (the translations may change to make it easier to understand but the truths captured within never will)!

     The Message describes repentance as, "changing our ways and turning to God" and I can't think of a more valuable lesson for our children to understand in this day and age. 

     We're surrounded with a culture that believes there are NO absolutes -- that we "do" based on how we "feel".  That is not God's truth.

     It's our job to prepare these young ones of today to be the older ones of tomorrow.  That must include understanding their need for repentance.

     Repentance is not a one time experience when we come to Christ and ask Him to remove our sin . . . it's an ongoing way of life.  Part of a spiritual discipline in our own personal lives that causes us to be continually reflecting on the state of our hearts and asking God to reveal what we need to turn a full 180 degrees, not just 90 degrees, as we may prefer.

     God's been working something out recently in my own life and I've needed to repent of it more than once or twice, BUT I know He will have His way in the end, as I continue to turn it over to Him.  The challenge is that once God graciously helps me work out one thing, He will show me the next thing He would like to help me work on, but I recognize that this is the way it needs to be.

     Don't ever become discouraged with the process -- on this side of eternity, in our imperfect bodies, we need God to keep chipping away at our sin -- so we can move ahead in a rich journey with Him. 

     A promise found in Acts 3 rests within our quest for repentance, it says that we are delivered into times of refreshing . . . I don't know about you, but refreshing is something I know I need to experience on an on-going basis.  Praying that you, too, will experience God's restoring and refreshment no matter where you find yourself today.

"Repent, then, turn to God,

so that your sins may be wiped

out, that times of refreshing may

come from the Lord."

Acts 3:19

   

Time for Tears

     The sparkle left her blue eyes as they clouded over with sadness.  Her mouth pinched together at the sides and evidence of holding in pain become obvious.  Her head rested on her pillow and I, as mom, saw two doors in front of me --

     Door # 1) tuck the blankets around her, give a quick kiss and tell her she'll feel better in the morning (I know it sounds awful now, but come on, you've been at the bedside of your children when all you can think about is how much is left to do)

     OR

     Door # 2) climb up on that top bunk (which just seems to require more effort than it should) and take time for her to unleash the tears and stories

     This time I chose door # 2.

     As I lay beside her, inquiring about why she looked so sad, the first story came out.  Someone had hurt her with their words . . . they were unkind, thoughtless comments that had penetrated deep in her heart.  We talked about truth for that situation, wiped away the tears and shared hugs.  Then another story emerged, tears bubbled up and more talking / listening occurred.  After a lengthy time of listening, snuggling and praying she went to sleep with a smile on her face and in her heart.

     A fine line exists between a child that stalls at bedtime and the same child that needs a loving, listening ear.  Our role, as mom is to differentiate between the two.

     This time my heart affirmed that I'd chosen right, but it doesn't mean there wasn't sacrifice on my part. 

     It's hard to stop the rush of life and focus on that little heart that needs to be heard, when a hundred more responsibilities are screaming for our attention. 

     But that may be one of the most important roles we have as moms, and my guess is that it may become one the traits we're remembered for best someday if we choose to make the time.

     So when that little (or big) one crawls into bed holding back the tears that threaten to flow; stop and listen to your heart -- is this a moment that holds greater worth than the looming dishes, paperwork and dirt?  Chances are, it may be the most important moment of your day . . . and the reward will be evident in the joy on their face when they awake for a new day!

"Those who sow with tears

will reap with songs of joy."

Psalm 126:5



A Furious Squall

     Dollhouses were spread across the living room rug like a sprawling town -- dinky cars were arranged in rows and ready to race at high speeds.  Voices chattered happily while sharing plans of what should happen next in their game, when suddenly an argument erupted in the midst of their pretend town.

     "Give it back!  It's mine."

     "No, it's not, it's mine."

     "I only let you borrow it!"

     My heart fell in sadness.  It's so hard to listen to the ones you love tear each other apart.  And I don't enjoy the energy it requires to rectify the situation either. 

     A verse flashed back from my morning's time in the Word . . . in Mark 4 where we hear the story of Jesus in the boat with His disciples.  Verse 37 sounded like our house, "A furious squall came up."  That's us, I thought, that describes these moments with my children.  But even better, it reminded me of the solution too.

     Only two verses later, we find Jesus standing up, saying, "Quiet! Be still!"  And we're told it became completely calm!

     How do we get that power flowing in our homes and with our children?  To go from furious squalls to complete calm?

     We learn to invite Jesus into the midst of our storms.

     I'll be honest ~  I'm sharing more from failure than success here, but over and over, when He's been invited, I've seen Jesus move in the midst of our stormy seas at home. 

     I need that picture in my mind: Jesus speaking to our tossed boat (house) and watching those waves (arguments) become as calm and quiet as a still night.  Jesus can be that real in our moments of tension and frustration but He MUST BE INVITED!  Come Lord Jesus, into our homes and calm squalls of life.

"Now may the Lord of Peace

Himself give you peace at

ALL times and in EVERY way."

II Thessalonians 3:16

Sour Faces

     “Could you please take out the kitchen garbage?”

     “Could you please dry the lunch dishes?”

     “Could you please pick up the building blocks?”

     Daily, as moms, we’re required to make requests of our children that will make their faces sour and scrunch in dismay -- does that mean we should stop?  No, but we may need to brace ourselves for the inevitable reactions while we DO OUR JOB.

     I dread the high-pitched wails of complaining as much as any other mother, but I refuse to rob our children of the opportunity to contribute to our home.

     But something even greater occurs in these moments of instruction that may go unnoticed at first, but be appreciated later . . . our children learn to obey our voice.  What seems basic and simple when they’re young becomes the stepping stone for God to build on in their lives.

     How will our children know how to obey the voice of God if they haven’t first learned to obey the voice of a parent?

     We resist and dread the natural reactions that come out of our children’s mouths -- we wonder where we went wrong and fail to realize this as a “normal” part of the journey. 

     Instead, we must see the gift we’re giving our children as precious, even though it’s wrapped in paper that isn’t appealing to them.  Keep pressing on with determination inspired from above.

“Whether you turn to the right or to the left,

your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying,

 ‘This is the way; walk in it.’”
Isaiah 30:21