Am I Serving?

I have had this "Am I Serving?" question running through my head all week...As a mom, maybe more than most roles in life, I have the CHOICE to serve almost every moment of every day. If you are at a similar stage of life as I find myself in, you know that it takes hard work to carve out 10 minutes of personal space or time. Do you ever resent that? I don't want to and I sure try not to, but sometimes I find myself in that place nevertheless. BUT, God has been speaking deep in my heart and I want to respond to what I sense I am hearing.

My first thought is this: Jesus, our ultimate example, said that He came not to be served but to serve. In Philippians 2:7 it says of Jesus that He "made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant." Remember that is God in the flesh, bending low - how much more should I be willing to bend in serving my family and those around me?

My next thought builds on that: One significant challenge that Jesus gave while He was still on this earth is found in Mark 8:34, "If anyone would come after me, he must DENY HIMSELF and take up his cross and follow me." The part that has stood out to me is the first part of denying myself - so often the focus of that verse when I have heard it referred to, ends up on the importance of picking up our crosses (which is still important). My heart is being drawn to going deeper in denying myself, which in my mind translates into the role of serving at a deeper level.

I had the pleasure of enjoying a special weekend as a family recently and I found myself surprised at feeling drawn to selfishness. I recognized it was coming because of one of my older children needing something from me that I felt they were "capable of". That may have been true that they were capable, but I believe God used it to show me that my heart was being drawn into selfishness instead of servant hood with this child. I corrected my ways and was rewarded with a very special time with this particular treasure of mine.

It is so easy to serve our children when they are babies and we know they can do nothing for themselves, plus they smell so good and snuggle so quiet that there is not other experience to compare it with. I am finding myself in a new stage where my older ones can do a lot more for themselves and they don't always smell so good :-) BUT I still want to walk in the joy of serving my family as joyfully as ever.

I feel that as wives and moms, our greatest calling is not to be served but to serve and to be willing to deny ourselves - how many arguments would we avoid with our spouse if our minds were set to serve? How many smiles would we receive from our children as we serve them? Yes, we need moments of a quiet cup of tea or a warm bath, but there are lots of times when those moments cannot be found - those are the ones that we need to ask God for His strength and that is also when we TRULY will find our greatest joy because we will TRULY be serving!

1 Peter 4:11 "If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. to him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen."