Every Word

Words are an important part of every moment of our lives.  We take in information by listening to words, we share words of love, we teach our children words, we understand what our spouse is thinking through their words, we feel built up or torn down with words...we can't escape them.  And yet, for something so significant, it is amazing how carelessly we can let them escape our mouths without a second thought.  We are forewarned in Matthew 12:36 that, "Everyone will have to give account on the day of judgment for every empty word they have spoken."  That has made me pause and deeply evaluate how I am speaking and modeling communication through words.

When I listen to my children talk to each other, especially if they are in the heat of an argument between two of them, I can find myself cringing at the words they use.  Do they not hear what they are saying?  Do they not realize that words sting?  Oh, do I not realize I may have sounded the same way the day before?  As parents, we can say all we want, but when it all comes together, our children will imitate what they hear us saying.  If I find one of my children raising their voices with me in an unkind way, often I can trace the previous few days to frustration that I did not handle well.  The responsibility seems too great, and yet, if I go to that child and tell them I should not have spoken that way and ask their forgiveness, I generally find their tone and words calm quickly.

We are told of the danger with our words, in James 3, where the power of the tongue is described.  James also gives us important instruction when he says that both fresh and salt water cannot flow from the same spring and neither should both blessings and curses flow from the same mouth.  Think about the last month, in your marriage relationship, with your spouse...can you honestly say that every word that flowed from your mouth was blessing towards the one you love?  We know it should be, but most of us - myself included - need to realize that there is a gap between where I am at and where God wants me to be.  I like what Solomon tells us in Proverbs 10:19, he says, "Sin is not ended by multiplying words, but the prudent hold their tongues."  I am quite sure that the majority of my problems would cease if I held my tongue. 

Part of the challenge in this day and age can be that we feel we have the "right" to let others know what we think - that may be excusable for the secular world, but I do not think that is true for us who call ourselves followers of Christ.  In fact, one practice we have exercised with our children, that I too have applied, is that when we are tempted to say something unkind or uncalled for, we bite down on our tongues.  Not so that they bleed, although that might offer a lesson in itself, but I tell our kids to do it till it hurts - the reminder of a twinge of pain can serve as a reminder to the reality of pain that our words could cause if allowed to escape our mouths.

As I reflect back on family life to this point, I could tell you many things I regret saying, but I can't think of ONE THING that I wish I had said when I chose to bite my tongue.  What seems important to get out in the heat of a moment that we tend to regret later, is either; a temptation of the enemy, so he can use us to tear the other person down (I don't want to be his tool, how about you?), or a careless word that would have been better left unsaid.

Proverbs 21:23 "Those who guard their mouths and their tongues keep themselves from calamity."