Parenting for Happiness?

I recently came across an online parenting seminar and was surprised to hear the slant they were speaking from.  The talk was centered around how to deal with disappointments that come when we are not "happy" parenting our children.  They examined graphs of how parents' happiness plunges during the parenting years, they looked at how children bring challenges to our lives; their goal was to dispel some myths that are associated with raising children but to me, it was backwards.  The conclusion was that we just had to keep working to find creative ways to raise our "happiness meter" during these parenting years.  WHAT?  Since when was parenting intended to be only for our happiness? 

When I look at my five children, my heart fills with love and thankfulness to God - and yes, there are many moments of happiness; but that is NOT why I do what I do.  If that was my only motivation, I would be greatly discouraged too.  I remember being out together with our children one day and meeting someone who was walking their dogs.  Our conversation began with the usual question of her asking me, "Are all these children really yours?" (tone implying significant disapproval) which then led to her sharing of her and her husband's choice to have dogs instead of children so that they could maintain life as they liked it.  I must say I walked away a little shocked - I had read articles of that nature but not had the opportunity to hear it first hand before.  But really, no wonder some people are choosing to "have dogs" and leave child rearing to other braver souls, IF it is all about personal happiness. 

Children do bring happiness to our lives, and they are a spectacular gift from God (Psalm 127); but if you become a mom and still expect it be "all about your happiness" then you are in for some major disappointments.  When God entrusts us with the privilege of training up children in the way they should go, it isn't just a walk in the park - it is a calling, of the highest sort. 

The only way that we are going to experience true happiness, as parents, will be by learning how to give of ourselves selflessly and let go of our own wants needing to be first.  Jesus told us what we had to do if we were going to call ourselves followers of Him.  He said in Matthew 16:24-25, "If anyone would come after me, he(or she) must deny himself(herself) and take up his(her) cross and follow me.  For whoever wants to save his(her) own life will lose it, but whoever loses his(her) life for me will find it.  What good will it be for a man(woman) if he(she) gains the whole world, yet forfeits his(her) soul?"  I don't want to get lost in looking for happiness in the world.  I want to keep my sights set on the eternal purposes that are before me in training up godly children - I hope you do too.