You Don't Have to Like Them, You Just Have to Love Them



     Her tired eyes glanced at the floor briefly, before she bravely let the words slip out in a whisper, "I really don't like my child right now."   My heart softened as I tried to reach out to her in that moment.  This precious, beautiful, loving mother was wrestling with emotions that almost every mother can relate to . . .  but most are not bold enough to put into spoken words. 

     We have these images in our heads of "the perfect mom", don't we?  You know, the one who is always patient, always loves her kids, never tires of the arguments or messes -- and some days we drag ourselves around the house, beating ourselves up and just barely surviving our own kids because we don't measure up to someone that DOESN'T EVEN EXIST!!!  Did you catch that???  You are normal -- mothering is hard work: we aren't perfect and neither are our kids, so there will likely be days when you really don't want to be in the same house as those little (or bigger) ones.

     What are we to do, as moms, when we find our children have drained every bit of "like" out of us?  We LOVE them!

     Paul, the one who penned the words of God in I Corinthians 13, tells us that, "Love...puts up with anything."  Could God have left any unanswered questions in our minds with a statement like that?  It covers what's expected of us in difficult moments but it also gives hope -- hope because it implies that it's okay if we're not always feeling loving.  

     I'd wager a guess that every mother, at some point, hits a brick wall of exhaustion with at least one of their children.  It's something we hesitate to share, and rightly so (our children would be devastated if they ever heard those words come from us), but during a safe, quiet conversation with a close friend, those words need to be shared.  Something similar to the release of a hot air balloon occurs inside when we confide a secret burden with a caring friend. 

     We can't always "like" our children.  Stages and challenges arise over and over that require sheer determination to keep going, but with God's help, we can keep on loving them.

      The difference between like and love with our children is simple -- the things that they are doing whether in the toddler stage, the preteen stage or late adolescence may drive us crazy and can potentially determine whether we find them easy to be with at that moment; but it doesn't change who they are!  They are our children -- the ones that God has entrusted us to raise, and we can CHOOSE to love them and speak words of blessing and affirmation with God's help, even if our own resources have expired.

    

"(Love) always protects,

always trusts, always hopes,

always perseveres. 

Love NEVER fails."

I Corinthians 13:7&8