Messes - What is a Mom to do?

There are so many images I could have chosen for this thought of "Messes - What is a Mom to do?" It does not take being a mom very long to realize that mess is part of the package that comes with kids, whether it be an exploding infant diaper, a baby with penaten cream in hand or a toddler with crayons...it just happens.

In choosing a photo to accompany these thoughts, I spent an enjoyable amount of time smiling and reminiscing on how many photos I had to chose from...the amazing thing is that I remember how hard I often had to try to "enjoy" the mess of the moment when it happened but as I thought back, it brought great joy to my heart instantly. HMMMM!

This photo does represent a current event with a fun story - someone, who will remain anonymous, decided to do some baking (which is a wonderful thing) and seeing that they were managing well, I stepped out of the way to let them have some independence. At the final stage of the recipe, I heard from the other room, "Boy, 1 cup of baking powder and half a cup of baking soda sure is a lot, isn't it, Mom?" I had a choice to make in an instant - how would I respond? This was childishness not foolishness, as the Ezzos so wisely teach, and I needed to step back and let my child fail gracefully. That is a lot to process in an instant, but after a short WHAT?, I recovered and held this person as they began to cry and recognize their mistake. I promised them that in the very near future they would laugh and someday it might be a favourite story - but for now we had some dough to dispose of and a new batch to make. "You mean you will let me try again?" YES - we all deserve a second chance and if you fall off a horse, you get right back on, I was taught. The next batch was a great success and not only was it enjoyed by our family for supper, there was enough to share with the neighbours, too.

So, where am I going with all this? Kids make mess - that is not rocket science if you are a parent, but how we respond takes mental focus and practice in preparedness. I remember back to my babies in dirt, toddlers in flour bins, little boys into face makeup just before church, little girls with nail polish on white carpet...and I used to think stories like that came from inattentive parents. No, those things happen faster than we can blink! That is just life with kids and what keeps us humble and very aware of our need for God's protection on our kids. So how do we prepare for these events?

First, we remind ourselves that we were kids once who made mistakes AND more importantly, we still make mistakes. This baking event was a perfect time to delve up an old story from my "learning to bake" days and help my child realize that perfection in the kitchen is not a realistic goal and neither is perfection in life. We are all on a journey of learning and need to learn how to laugh at mistakes we make.

Second, we need to recognize that it is our expectations of our children in the moment or even the day that make these times harder to deal with. If we know, and even expect, that there will likely be some "interruptions" that require our assistance they will be far easier to smile at.

Thirdly, we ask God for strength in the millisecond we have to process with, that we can make the moment a special memory with our child and not a bitter regret ~ Our kids truly need our affirmation and love at these moments. When I look back on these events, I don't usually remember where I was going or what I needed to do, that made the "mess" so inconvenient - I remember the sweetness of the accident and the innocence of the one who was just doing what kids do - being kids.

The old saying is so true, "They are only young once". May we be found full of patience and abounding in love, ready to face whatever the moments are about to bring. For we know that God will use it to work a deeper work in our lives, IF we will let Him.

James 1 says it best, "Consider it PURE JOY, my (sisters), whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."