Balancing Technology

There is no doubt that we are living in an unprecedented era of technology.  And as a mom, I find it increasingly challenging to know what "balanced living" looks like, with all that is available at our fingertips.  The good news is that there are no pat answers - each of us is different in how much technology we can balance while still truly balancing our families well.  But the bad news is the same - there are no pat answers - each of us must truly guard ourselves against being swept away in the flow of all that is available to us at this point in history.

As I reflect on the past 13 years of my mothering, one thought stands out strongly - I feel old!  I do not believe I am old, age wise, but my experience tells me that things have changed drastically since my first child was born.  As I have listened to the stories from new moms in the past year or so, I have been greatly surprised by how much technology is changing the world of all moms, but especially those of young children.  When I speak with moms who have recently had babies, they tell me of "skyping family with their 2 hour old baby" or "handling emails while in the hospital rooms" or "getting cell phone calls while trying to get the hang of nursing".  All these instances, and so many more, speak something so deep to my heart that I am not sure how to express it into words.

As I ponder what is in my heart, I see the temptation of maintaining the technology being given preference over enjoying the glow of those first hours with your new baby.  I see the challenge of having the ability to share your baby so easily via the internet that you could forget to stop and enjoy what it is you are trying to share.  Does this make sense?  And, I don't think it automatically gets easier to balance as our kids get older, but I do see how fast those early days fly by and how few hours you have to carve out for yourself.  When I reflect back, I am so thankful that my first few days with a new baby required only choosing to leave the TV off, which wasn't hard, and greet the odd nurse or guest that may choose to appear.  The bonding and creating of memories that I experienced will last a lifetime.  But what about once you are home?

As babies grow, there are increasingly larger amounts of time available to us, but how are we choosing to spend them?  Do we really see how much time these social networks can rob us of, as moms?  Do we think through how long it takes to send out ten emails?  Do we ponder what we could be doing with our family, while we choose to read what may be very valuable information on the internet?  Even if we choose to do all these things once our children are in bed, we can be robbing our spouse of quality time with them or our children of a well-rested, cheerful mom the next day.  When I stop and think about it, my friend in "Timbuktu" is NEVER going to remember a post I sent her 20 years from now, but my four year old will remember for a lifetime that we read Ferdinand, the Bull over and over.  Do you see where I am going with this?

It is not a question of right or wrong - it is a question of better and best!  

Even if we assume, that every post we write is valuable, every email is important (at the time) and every website we visit is clean and informative - still, even after all that, is it the best use of our time?  My intent is not to cause guilt or make you feel like a bad mom - that happens enough for me without anyone saying a thing, so I don't want to do that to anyone!  My desire is to cause each of us, myself very much included, to think seriously about what we are doing with each minute of our time.  If time is money, as the old adage puts it - and I happen to believe it is of much greater value - than how are we spending it?  Do you realize that TIME is one of the only resources we can never get back?  Once it is gone, it is gone!  FOR GOOD!

Yes, days with babies and toddlers can seem so long.  And, yes, there is a need to connect and reach out to friends, but please, for the eternal sake of your children, don't let technology go out of balance.  It is a resource to be used, because in many ways it saves us hours of time.  It can also encourage us and instruct us how to do, what we do, better.  But it is not something I want to look back on when my house is quiet and my kids are gone, and wonder why I wasted all those hours that I will never have back again!

            II Thessalonians 3:13  "As for you, my (sisters), never tire of doing what is right."