Selfish Tendencies

Have you ever noticed that some of the biggest battles we face seem to stem from our tendencies towards selfishness?  We want a clean house, but it has been such a long day we feel like we just deserve to put our feet up...we want children who are well behaved, but we just can't imagine having to discipline the same child again...we want our husbands to feel loved, but we just don't want to excuse the fact that it is the third time this week they missed dinner...and on and on it can go.

Not too many roles in life demand a 24 / 7 giving out without guarantee of getting much back, but being a wife and a mother sure can.  It is so easy in this culture to justify our selfish tendencies too.  I don't have to look far at all to find someone who will tell me I work too hard and should take a break, or that I deserve to let my husband carry more of the load, or I should get out more alone.  That is the message I feel I must battle against in the world around me and in my mind.  The danger is, that if we let our guard down - we will begin to believe these messages.  Yes, there is required balance in life and yes, it is good when our spouses pitch in - BUT it is also a sacrifice to be a great wife and a great mom and it will take us to the point of being greatly stretched.

Philippians 2:3-7 says, "Do NOTHING out of selfish ambition...look not only to your own interests but also to the interests of others...Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:  Who...made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant."   That lays out quite clearly the sacrifice we are called to no matter what our role is...there really aren't any excuses for focusing on ourselves.  I have found the more I focus on the needs of others around me and serving them, the less I feel the need for "self" to be satisfied.

I am not saying that no wife or mom should even have a break, please don't misinterpret me.  I am saying that the message we hear everywhere we go is that we deserve...we deserve...we deserve... and if we are not hearing it from those around us, you can be sure the enemy will be whispering it in our ear sooner than later. 

So how do we fight it?  We can first ask the Lord to help us honestly examine our lives and how much we are "doing" for ourselves - in the big picture of a week or month, are we expecting more "breaks" on evenings or weekends, than even our husbands?  Next, we need to take the thoughts captive in our minds that tell us we deserve...and make them obedient to Christ.  That simply means when we start to feel frustrated for what we are not getting / where we are not going / what we are missing out on ... just stop those thoughts and say, "I am not going to allow myself to think that way - God, you have given me everything I need and I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.  I refuse to be discouraged, to feel sorry for myself or to wallow in self-pity.  I choose to focus on ________, _________, _________, (these things you have blessed me with) and not the things I want to have or do.  In Jesus powerful name, Amen."

May you learn to fight selfish tendencies with the servant model of Christ and just wait and see what great blessings God has planned for your life and home.