Smile

Smiles...they are free, they are beautiful, they are contagious, they don't expire, they don't run out...why don't we use them all the time?  Have you ever noticed from time to time, especially when life feels a little too full and busy, that you have had a very serious look on your face for a good part of the day.  Sometimes, for me, one of our children will draw my attention to it, by asking if something is wrong; or often it is simply by the act of smiling that I realize it has been a long day and maybe I haven't smiled much at all.  To me, that is an indication that my joy meter may be low.

Why bother smiling anyway?  Aside from the reasons already given above, I like the fact that smiles almost always double - it is wonderful to smile at someone you love and see their face light up as they smile back.  I know that I often take life too seriously, and as I glance around and see my precious family around me, I am reminded to relax and let go of the stresses of life and enjoy what I have been blessed with.  Consistently, when I am smiling, my children are smiling and happier too.  I want my children to remember their mom as someone who was JOY-filled!  Smiles and laughter play a big part in that - but as in so many other things in life, sometimes we have to DO IT before we FEEL IT!

I once read an article by mother of eight - Teri Maxwell, in which she wrote about the importance of choosing to smile even when she didn't want to.  She was sharing about a time of struggling through depression when she realized she was so low, that her children were rarely seeing her smile anymore.  She was asking God to heal her, but it wasn't happening instantly - so, she determined that from the moment she would leave her bedroom in the morning, there would be a smile on her face, whether she felt that way inside or not.  An amazing thing happened, as she tells the story - not only were her children amazed that she was smiling, she started to feel things change - slowly, one day at a time!  And, her children were so excited to see her happy that everyone else increased drastically in their joy and happiness!  What a testimony to the power of a smile.

Another thing I have observed with our family, is that when I am helping my children learn something; whether it is tying shoes, reading, baking, etc., they are so much more relaxed to learn from me if I am smiling and positive.  There are so many times it is just more "natural" to wear a frown, but I like what the character from the movie, Annie used to say ~ You're never fully dressed without a smile!  Whether we are lacking joy or just tired from lack of sleep, the habit of smiling is well worth growing in.

It really boils down to one of the fruits of the Spirit; don't just try to manufacture it on you own, ask the Holy Spirit to fill you with joy.  You can't be full of joy and not have it bubble up from deep within, it says in Galatians 5:22 that, "The fruit of the Spirit is love, JOY..."  One of my children has an ongoing tendency to try and act upset, even if he is happy on the inside; all I need to do to turn him around is to ask him if he has a smile hiding, and he can't help it - out it pops.  If the Spirit fills us with joy - we will be the same way, we won't be able to keep that smile hidden.

The next time you feel overwhelmed or down, instead of losing your cool or looking grumpy; ask the Lord to fill you with His Spirit, that you may walk out the day in His strength.  Then, try a smile - see if your whole day doesn't turn around!

II Corinthians 3:18 "We, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory,

are being transformed into His likeness with ever-increasing glory,

which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit."

Not Just About What We Want

This morning as I stared at the toilet in my bathroom, the first thought that crossed my mind was, "I don't want to clean the toilet."  Fortunately for my family, the next immediate thought was, "It doesn't matter if I want to or not, it needs to be done and I just need to DO IT."  I am embarrassed to tell you how often I have these thoughts of "want to" versus "not want to" go through my head - I love a clean and organized house, but rarely do I love the effort it takes to maintain one.  God and time have slowly taught me to let go of what I want, and focus on what is required, but it is still a daily battle.

Why do I share this?  To give you permission not to clean your toilets as much?  No, it is to encourage you to keep doing (or start doing) what needs to be done.  Sometimes - no most times - I spend more time dreading and wishing away common duties, than the time it takes to just do them.  A few weeks ago, I carved out some time in an afternoon to defrost and clean out our freezer.  Now this might not seem like a big deal to many, but if you could have seen inside my head, you would have known I had spent far too much time wishing it didn't have to be done, instead of just doing it.  I have often thought that if the same amount of energy I applied to dreading the tasks, was applied to getting them done, I would be much further ahead.

I am not wanting to drive anyone to becoming more of a perfectionist; in fact, I have watched God set me free of many of those tendencies over time, and for this I am very grateful.  Each of us will have a standard that we feel needs to be maintained:  something that brings balance to the number of people living in our home, the way our husbands appreciate things looking, the stage we are at with babies and what we can handle, etc...  The important thing is to know what is reasonably required to keep your home in the way you feel it should be, given the stage you are at in life.  Once you have determined that, you just need to break down the tasks of what it takes to achieve that in a given day / week / month, and commit to stick to it, regardless of whether you "want to" or not.

An example for me, is that I love to be able to keep my bedroom inviting ,and know it is clean and welcoming - for myself and my husband.  Therefore, this requires that every morning when I get out of bed, the first thing I do (even though I don't "want to") is make the bed carefully and nicely.  It only takes a few moments, but once it is done the whole room is transformed.  I also like the bathrooms to look and smell fresh, which requires that the toilets are cleaned on a regular basis - so whether I "want to" or not, I clean (or now some of my kids have to clean) the toilets on certain days.  Not only has this allowed me to keep our home in a way that is always ready for drop in guests, it has modeled to our children that tasks are done whether we "want to" or not.

Proverbs 31:27 says of the amazing woman of old, that she, "Watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness."  When I choose to not eat the bread of of idleness, and I do watch over the affairs of my household; I find great satisfaction and joy.  Why - just because my house is clean?  No, I believe it is because I am walking in the path that God designed for me to walk in.  When we choose to care for our families in what needs to be done, we will find greater satisfaction than could ever be found by pampering ourselves in what we want to have done.

Just Do the Next Thing

Have you ever looked around your house, and all there is to do, and just wanted to cry? Or maybe you really have cried...don't feel bad, that seems to be the reality of certain days and times during this journey of parenting. But I do have some good news ~ I've discovered an effective way to tackle mess when it threatens to overtake our homes.

Many years ago, I watched a video set by Elisabeth Elliot entitled A Peaceful Home, and found it full of wonderful truths; but what impacted me more than anything else, were four little words that she suggested ~ "DO THE NEXT THING!" Elisabeth expanded on this principle and shared ways that were practical to bring order, but there was nothing new or surprising. The fruit of the whole teaching for me truly seemed to come from hearing that expression.

I have applied DO THE NEXT THING for more than ten years now and still find myself using it; but because it had become so routine I had not considered sharing it until one of our recent Mom's Nights, in the spring. A few months later, I had some moms came back and tell me that they now have the expression running through their heads when they are trying to tackle their houses with all that needs to be done, and it has helped them tremendously. This caused me to realize that it was not just benefiting me, and therefore it should be passed along.

So, how can you transform your life with these four little words? The only way to do that, that I know of, is for me to walk you through what I do when every room in my house seems to be in disarray (maybe it won't work for you, but give it a try). So, here it goes...

    Let's imagine on any given day, that as I pause at noon and take inventory of what has been happening on various levels and in various rooms; I find a significant amount of chaos in each area (not very hard to imagine, so far, is it?). The first thing I would do, is call the children to the areas that I know they can handle working on to start sorting and cleaning (I realize if you have only babies and toddlers this requires moms doing most of the work - but don't worry, it will pay off for you later). Next, I would go to the room I find most important for me to have in order and start working there until it is back to my standard (that room and standard may be different for each of us, so apply what you would do - for me it is my kitchen and clear counters is my standard). Then, I would go to the next room or area and stay there until it is completed - this can mean utilizing baskets or my helpers to carry things, depending on how much there is to sort. I would continue on in this process until everything is tidied up in each area on all levels. Although it may sound long, even with 5 kids and a 2 storey house, I can usually be done in about 20 minutes. Don't let this seem overwhelming, it shouldn't - the whole time I am working on organizing I simply tell myself that I just have to DO THE NEXT THING.  The reality is that when I am done, I am able to do all my other tasks with much better efficiency and pleasure.

A few keys that help me are:

- Start with the area most important to have clean, then think of what areas are good to have tidy next, in case of drop in guests

- Relax and don't get stressed - cleanliness is NOT next to godliness
(When I shared this with a dear friend, she responded , "Thank you so much for this one particular line...That little cliche plays clearly in my head so often when my house gets messed up - in such a condemning way that I know exactly where it's from. And I know that is not to say that we should forgo keeping a clean and tidy house, rather that an untidy house from time to time does not mean we are failing at being a godly woman." - I could not have said it so well)

- During the whole clean up, keep reminding yourself that you only have to DO THE NEXT THING

- My goal is tidy, not perfect; but the benefits are good for all - even our young ones will play with more focused attention when their areas of play are kept ordered

For me, I have found that when I plan for these clean up times after breakfast (checking bedrooms for beds made), at lunch (from morning events) and again in the evening, the mess is kept in very manageable amounts. The old saying remains true, though, "If I fail to plan, then I plan to fail".  I have to remind myself that although this discipline is not "fun", it is of great value to the function of our home.  Planning to stay on top of disorder, can bring peace to our homes in ways we may need more than we realize.

Proverbs 21:5, in the Message, says,
"Careful planning puts you ahead in the long run;

hurry and scurry puts you further behind."

Overwhelming Moments

There are just moments in life that are going to overwhelm us.  Therefore, the question can't be how do we get rid of these moments, but how do we deal with them when they come and gain the perspective that God would want us to have? 

Does it ever amaze you how overwhelming certain moments can be?  These moments are not always related to parenting - although that certainly offers some good opportunities for them - but sometimes life is just plain overwhelming!  Because we have learned that to be true, it would seem that we would have a plan in place for when these moments come, but often that does not seem to be the case. 

It makes me think of when people have had the opportunity to experience a large disaster up close.  Whether it be snowstorm, tornado or flood - anything that has the power to temporarily alter the way we live, what is the reaction to that experience?  It is to go out and over-prepare for the mere possibility that it could happen again, isn't it?  It may be stocking up on water, flashlights, batteries, food; or fixing a part of our house that we should have long ago - whatever it is, the purpose is so that we are not caught unprepared again.  How interesting is it then, that if we know there is not just a slim possibility of overwhelming moments, but a guarantee of them, still many of us do not have a "plan" set in place for when we face those storms of life.

If we were to make a plan, what would it include?  For me, first, it is knowing that overwhelming moments will come and that they are part of life.  As simple as that sounds, when I know that what I am going through is "normal", it makes it much easier for me to endure.  Jesus warned us in John 16:33, "In this world you WILL HAVE trouble.  But take heart!  I have overcome the world."  We need to recognize that although our moments may look different than the next person's moments, they are still similar in their affect of being overwhelming - it really is just part of the journey.

The second part of my plan is to know that I know, before that storm or moments hits, that the God of this universe is ALWAYS in control.  I have purposed to have scripture and knowledge of WHO God is deep inside of me, because during a storm is NOT the time to be evaluating where our hope should be placed.  Once we really know that, then we will want to go to Him during these hard or overwhelming moments...it says in Psalms 62:5&8 says, "Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from Him...He is my fortress, I will not be shaken...Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge."  God is fully available to us in all times of trouble.

The last part of my plan consists of knowing that God has purpose in what He is allowing me to go through, and that He is using it to shape me and mold me, for His good.  The Bible says Romans 8:28 that, "We know that in ALL THINGS God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose."  He knows far better than I, what areas I need to be shaped in.  If it were left up to me to choose, I am sure 9 times out of 10, I would choose the easier path with the sunshine and flowers - nice view, but not a place for real growth.  He gives us those moments too, but I think of them as opportunities to rest and be refreshed for the moments that He needs to grow me more in.

God always has our best in mind!  The Bible tells us that every good and perfect gift comes from Him, but just as we cannot give into every whim our children have because we know it is not what would help them grow; so God, in much greater perfection can see what is best for us and is growing us accordingly.  Find out WHO He is and then you will be ready to trust Him in your overwhelming moments, and call on Him to carry you through.  He wants to and He will!

It "Ain't" Just the Milkmen Anymore

                                                                                         

There are increasing numbers of women being drawn away from their marriages these days, and it "ain't" just because of good-looking milkmen anymore!  We are living at a point in history where the whole world, and all it has to "offer", is literally, at our fingertips.  The temptations we face, no matter what our occupations may be, are greater by far than what I understand the "milkmen" days were like. 

We can say we are strong and not interested, and most of us would be telling the truth; but it doesn't matter, the enemy has been studying us for a long time and he knows our weaknesses.  The Bible warns us in I Peter 5:8 that we are to, "Be self-controlled and alert.  Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour."  We are all at risk.

Many people, myself included, have looked back at the Garden of Eden and criticized Adam and Eve for their fatal mistake in taking the fruit from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil (oh, to be able to live without the knowledge of evil ).   But I must say that I don't "blame" Adam and Eve like I used to; I have come far enough in life to realize that we are ALL open to the enemy's temptations, and he is very cunning in his methods and timing.  We are a generation desperately in need of self-control, support from godly friends and a determination to be alert to the traps we may be exposing ourselves to. 

One strategy that God gives us in guarding ourselves against temptation, comes from Matthew 7:3&5, "Why do you look a the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?...You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye."  This scripture shows us that we have to examine our own hearts on an ongoing basis, and ask the Holy Spirit to reveal where the "planks" are in our own lives.  Satan will try to discourage us from looking at ourselves, for two reasons:  One is because he knows if we start paying attention to what is out of order in our own lives we might ask God to put it straight, and two is that we will not be as apt to be judging and critical of others.  It is too easy to look at someone else's "speck" and feel pious, while not realizing we are being led away from the real problem - ourselves.

It is of utmost importance that we don't see ourselves "above" anyone else and their struggles or sin - it is BUT for the grace of God, go I.  When we hear of someone "falling into sin", we CANNOT allow ourselves even a fleeting thought of how we would not have been capable of doing the same thing.  That is the temptation of looking at the specks!  If we can only see the sin of others, then we are not being honest about our own weaknesses and looking for the planks in our own lives.

What are some of the possible planks?  Ask God to show you and He will! 

Be sure to guard yourself against letting your heart even start down a path you know you shouldn't go down.  Proverbs 4:23 says, "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life."  We have to be so careful...when I refer back to the milkman days; I am really serious about it.  Back then, the temptations for married women seemed far less; the man who placed the milk at your doorstep, maybe the mailman, or some of the friendships as married couples, but for the most part living was somewhat simple and safe. BUT NOW, we are inundated with temptations - we have the option of a career outside the home that can place us in close relationships with men.  We can find anything we want and don't want to find on the Internet at any time of night or day.  We have social networking that can put us in touch with every man we may have known in the past and the present.  Even texting and email can provide ways of communicating with men on a more than healthy level.

All of us, I am sure, can look to at least a few examples that stem from friendships we have had, where one of the married persons have "walked away" for someone else.  This doesn't happen overnight, my friends - it happens as one person is slowly drawn towards someone other than their spouse. It may be that they just want to "get to know them better" or "reconnect with them", and the initial intent can be quite innocent.  We have to recognize that if we don't see the temptation or the trap that Satan is weaving for us, we will blindly go after the fruit that looks shiny and appealing!  DON'T even entertain those thoughts.  Why else would we be instructed in I Timothy 2:22 to, "FLEE the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness."?

Remember that our hope is found in GOD ALONE, and He has promised in I Corinthians 10:13 that, "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man.  And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear.  But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it."  One of the best pieces of advice I ever heard on temptation was that when we see we are being tempted, we should ask the Lord, "What is the way out?", and then truly be prepared to take it.  Also be sure you have at least one friend (female) who will speak boldly into your life and point out potential areas of weakness. 

There is a song called Slow Fade, by Casting Crowns, which speaks of the temptation that any one of us could face IF we are not careful.  Some of the words are here...

     The journey from your mind to your hands
     Is shorter than you're thinking
     Be careful if you think you stand
     You might just be sinking

     It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
     It's a slow fade when black and white are turned to gray
     Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
     When you give yourself away
     People never crumble in a day
     It's a slow fade

Please don't let yourself fade slowly into any relationship that will take you away from God's best for you and your family.  We are not as strong as we may think we are - I wish there were a BELL I could RING LOUDLY to help you see how significant this is.  Please take at least a moment to ask the Lord to show you anything or anyone that you need to cut off, in order to protect yourself from making the biggest mistake in your life!  Also, consider sending a link of this article to other women you know - we need to be helping one another every step of the way.  I am praying for you.

Helping Our Husbands

Last month, at our Mom's Night, we were discussing the call to godliness, that God gives to each one of us.  We looked at various scriptures that speak about godliness, but the one that stood out to me the most was from Proverbs 31.  I was struck by one verse in particular, which although I had read many times before, had never sunk in for its full meaning.  It is in verse 23, and at initial glance it seems out of place from the other verses, but once studied it is powerful ~ here it is, "Her husband is greatly respected when he deliberates with the city fathers."   This verse is nestled between verses that talk about the woman who is well prepared and the woman who makes her own dresses.  What does that have to do with her husband being respected?  HE is respected because of who SHE is!

This is where the impact came for me - I have always viewed my role in being my husband's "helper" as something behind the scenes, and I have loved that role.  Whether it is supporting him emotionally (listening and encouraging), physically (love and practical care with food / clothing / etc), or spiritually (praying for him and with him); it has brought me great joy.  But I had not carefully examined before how these practical supports affect him outside the home.  As I have pondered this verse over the past month, I have become increasingly aware of how vital it is that we, as wives, catch the significance.  What we do at behind the scenes at home and with our families - no matter how trivial or unnoticed (by all but God) - will affect the way that our husbands are regarded. 

I am not talking about making our husbands "look good", but specifically wanting us to realize that often we can make the difference as to whether our husbands are looked up to or looked down on.  When Paul gave the requirements for elders in the church, he included the importance of how that man's family was functioning.  We need to respect that the choices we make in the ways we talk to our husbands; the ways we care for them, our homes and our families, really do make a difference.  If we want to truly be more of what, I believe, God desires us as wives to be, then we need to be looking to the best interest of our husbands first, and not ourselves.

Yes, it will fly in the face of the culture we are part of - but good for us - it will just make us shine more brightly than it would have in the past generations.  So, GO SHINE!

The Other Side of the Fence

Why is it so often said that the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence?  Could it be because there is so much truth to that old expression that it resonates within us and calls us to rise above the call of the world?  Is it possible that it causes us to realize our need for being content, even when we don't want to admit it?

God has given us such clear instruction of why we should be content and how we should be content, but it doesn't mean that it is easy to do.  Especially in this day and age, what we are instructed to let go of  is not easy - Hebrews 13:5 says that we are to, "Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, 'Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.'"  God was telling us that IF we are to be content, we have to keep (present tense - always working at it) our lives free from the love of money, AND be (present tense again) content with what He has already blessed us with.  The reason is given to us, as well - God will always be with us and will never leave us, therefore He is always aware of what we will NEED and is willing to provide for us.

So, how do we apply keeping our lives free from the love of money and being content with what we already have?  One of the best definitions of contentment I have ever heard, gives the solution within the definition - it says this, "True contentment is the realization of what we already have."  This requires NOT trying to keep up with the Joneses!  This is not an easy accomplishment when life seems to require; shopping at stores that will always try to convince us of what we (don't) need, or looking over the fences of our neighbours and seeing their new toys, or just simply feeling frustrated with the old items we have owned forever when we know there is a better invention out there.  It may not be easy - but we must!  This instruction from God is not a suggestion, it is what He is telling us to do because He knows what is best for us - now and eternally.

We can be set free to enjoy all God has for us, when we appreciate what we already have in our hands.  If we can take our eyes off what others have (whether it be nicer cars, better behaved children, fancier clothes, better jobs or even a more appealing spouse), and put our eyes back onto our own homes and families, with a focus on gratitude for what we do have -an amazing thing has to happen to us.  The "things" that were calling to us will lose some of their shine, and our hearts will become more content with what we have. 

It is a spiritual principle with very practical applications - if we don't want to hear our children begging for the latest toys and newest gadgets, then we better be sure they are not listening to us hoping for a big screen TV or wishing for a better house.  If we don't want our marriage to fall apart, then we better not be comparing our spouse with someone else's.  If we don't want to spend a lifetime in debt, then we might have to make that car last longer than we might want.  It is all the same - we must learn to be content with what God has already provided for us and lead our kids in the way they should go.

Challenges of Consistency

I find it hard to believe that our family has packed away the highchair and we are officially out of the toddler stages with our five children.  Somehow, when you are in the middle of those years, you feel it will stay that way forever ~ then suddenly, you look back and realize it is likely over for good.  I know some of you, that still have young ones, may read this and think, "Oh, I am so tired of these busy, messy days; I can't wait for it to be over."  And I do understand, it feels like you can't get your head above water to see if what you are doing is even working.  But I have one word to share with you that will help you finish these early days successfully, with the hope that your hard work will pay off in the end ~ CONSISTENCY.

Consistency means doing the same thing over and over; it means that the same action receives the same reaction, over and over.  And, it means you get tired.  Sometimes discouraged when you are being consistent but not seeing the results.  Which is why I want to share this with you...IF you can keep on training those toddlers even when you don't see immediate results, you will benefit later.  I am sure you have heard that before, but it is easy to get weary of disciplining when we don't see change come.  We live in a society that embraces and promotes everything "instant" and that is one thing parenting is not!  We have to be like the tortoise and not the hare - it is slow and steady that will "win" this race of parenting.

What are times for consistency?  Almost all times - the highchair is a perfect opportunity to be consistent.  For example, if young Bobby decides to toss his crackers on the floor, he needs to be corrected and told no.  We all know what comes next - he will try it again...WHY?  Because toddlers are all about cause and effect - both in experimental ways like tossing crackers but also in practical ways, like whether mom is going to tell me no again.  I have read some pretty crazy theories that tell moms to let their babies and toddlers throw food as it teaches them the law of gravity - give me a break!  There are a million ways that our toddlers will learn about the law of gravity while NOT in their highchair - that does not need to be discovered there.  Don't give up on consistency!

Another great opportunity for consistency, is bedtime.  Once that little person has graduated from their crib into a toddler bed (ours were right around their 2nd birthday), they are ready to learn that they need to stay in their bed until they are allowed to get up.  What does that look like?  With each of our children (with many thanks to the Ezzo's books), we told them that they were not allowed to get out of their beds once they were put there.  That meant if they needed to go to the bathroom or get a drink, they had to call us and ask.  Or when they woke up in the morning, I savoured the sweet sounds floating down the hall of, "Mommy, can I get up now?".  It also meant that if we came down the hallway and saw them sneaking a book, it required that we followed up immediately with disciplining for the disobedience - every time!  That is where consistency comes in again.

Depending on the strength of the will, with each child, it will be different how many times your consistency will be tested - but be assured, it will.  And as much as we don't enjoy disciplining it is our job as mothers.  Not an optional one, but one of the most important ones.  Yes, it is tiring!  Yes, it feels like it is not working!  Yes, it is very often not convenient!  But it is invaluable to us and to our children.

Remember, the goal of training good behaviour into our children is not so people will be impressed that they know how to obey.  It is so that as they grow and mature, they are able to be a light and example to others of the Lord Jesus living in their lives.  It is also so that when God speaks to their hearts, they are not bent on arguing or seeing if they feel like obeying - they will do what God asks because they have learned obedience is the best way, because of the consistency of their parents.

Ecclesiastes 11:6 "Sow your seed in the morning, and at evening let not your hands be idle, for you do not know which will succeed, whether this or that, or whether both will do equally well."

The Discouraged Conqueror

What do we do when we don't "feel" like or "see" the reality of being a conqueror?  Well, fortunately the Lord allowed me to experience it first hand so I would have something fresh to share (ha ha).  I have heard it said that we should watch what we share because we could be tested on it, and I found that to be true 98% of the time, which sometimes makes me wonder why I keep writing, but anyway...

In less than twenty-four hours after sharing about being MORE than conquerors, I woke to realize that I was feeling very overwhelmed.  We had said goodbye to company and I found myself with four beds to change, seven loads of laundry to fold, a son that needed a ride for the evening, a family that needed to eat, to say nothing of the other chores that were required just to accomplish the basics of life and tidying up.  The temptation, of course, was to pass on my quiet time because what needed to be done seemed so huge, but I have learned through years of trial and error that these are the times I need to be quiet with God the most.  So I started my morning in the Word and a devotional I use, and listen to what God gave...

First came the scripture found in Romans 12:11&12, in the Message version, where it says, "Don't burn out; keep yourselves fueled and aflame.  Be alert servants of the Master, cheerfully expectant. Don't quit in hard times; pray all the harder."  It had only been a matter of hours, but I had forgotten to give this over to God for His help, and honestly I had not been feeling cheerfully expectant either.  Then, in my devotional, Faith to Faith, it said this...

       We are to live in hope.  We are to rejoice.  So, when Satan comes to steal your victory and tell you that God is not going to help you this time, you just think on the Word of God and start rejoicing.  Rejoice that you are in Him.  Rejoice that heaven is your home.  Rejoice that greater is he that is in you than he that is in the world.  Rejoice.  Brag on God today.  The devil can't stand it!...When things get hard is not when you let go of the Word.  That is when you double up on it .  That is when you are constant in prayer so that you are immovable.

God is so faithful to speak to each of us and truly meet us where we are at!  I am so thankful that I took time in the Word today - I have a fresh hope for the day and a desire to rejoice; even though challenges still may come and the tasks that I have at hand have not disappeared.  I have a new "battle plan" for how to do all that needs to be done, and most importantly, I have taken it to prayer again and I will be standing on the Word and God's truth as I walk out my day rejoicing as a wife and mom.

You Are a Conqueror

Did you know that you are a conqueror?  A conqueror is someone who defeats someone or something or one who triumphs after great effort; and the good news of Romans 8:37 is this: "We are more than conquerors through Him who loved us." What a verse...it is full of hope and promise because it says we ARE, not we will be or we might be, but we already are conquerors.  Not only are we already, but Paul says that we are MORE THAN conquerors - can you tell he was searching for the biggest way to tell us that we have everything we need at our disposal?

There is one key hidden in this verse, and that is the one that tells us where that ability comes from - it comes THROUGH Him (God) Who loved us.  How backwards is that in our society?  God already poured out His love and provision for us to conquer before we needed it - now it is accessible to us.  So, the question is not, "Are we conquerors?" but "What do we need to conquer?"

This is where the application comes in - what is in your daily life right now that you need to conquer?  Is the laundry piled higher than you know how to tackle?  Are the kids fighting so much your head hurts?  Is your husband needing more encouragement than you feel able to give?  Are the bills piling up to the point of what feels like no return?  If any of these things are true for you, then it is time to remind yourself of what the enemy doesn't want you to know - YOU ARE A CONQUEROR!  God has said that He doesn't give us more than we can handle, so as hard as life may feel, with His help we can walk through and overcome those things in our lives that are threatening to overwhelm us.

We may be tempted to think that this verse in Romans only applies to big things or important areas, but I would challenge us that laundry and fights are not little nor unimportant and that God deeply cares about all areas of our lives.  It can feel like those areas of our lives are ours to manage and God's job is to worry about the grander things, but I disagree ~ in fact in James 5:2-5 it is laid out why we have to work through these things and it confirms that God wants to help us.  In the Message version it says, "Consider it a sheer gift (all the laundry, the fights, etc.), friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides.  You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colours.  So don't try to get out of anything prematurely.  Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.  If you don't know what you're doing, pray to the Father.  He loves to help."  Isn't that wonderful - if we don't know what we're doing (that is me, most days) - pray - He loves (and really wants to) help us.

I encourage you today, that if you are feeling overwhelmed, have a chat with God about what you are finding heavy.  Tell Him that you have tried to work out these areas of defeat in your own strength and now see that you need and want to do it in His strength.  Victory may not be instant - but it will come.  Remember that you ARE (already) more than a conqueror THROUGH Him who loved us.

Speaking Blessing

Have you ever looked at something far off in the distance and squinted long and hard trying to make out what it is?  Then someone comes alongside and says, "Isn't that neat how you can just barely make out the shape of _________ (such and such a landmark)?"  I often feel like that is a picture of parenting - the end result, known only by God, is so far off in the distance that we can hardly see what our children are going to mature into...but we know it is out there.

It can be hard to know what to "aim for" with our children at most stages of parenting; when they are young we feel we might get to have them forever and don't want them to grow up.  Then, as they enter into the teen years, we may be tempted to feel they are growing too quickly without hope they will grow in the ways we want for them.  I believe that as we look to the Word, we can find God's way of dealing with raising our children up through each of these stages...in fact, it is not that different than how God deals with each of us.  What does He do?  He speaks blessing and hope over our lives, even when we feel we don't deserve it!

All throughout the Old and New Testament, God speaks blessing over His people!  Discovering some of these spoken blessings has been of utmost importance for my life and the lives of my children, because as I look to the distant future and try to make out what things will look like in their lives, I realize I can't see clearly.  I don't know who they will marry, I don't know where they will live, I don't know what careers they will pursue - but there is one thing I know and can do now - God wants to bless our children and I can speak God's blessings over them, regardless of the stage!  This accomplishes two things: one it shows our children that there is hope for all that lies ahead, even on the days they don't feel worthy; and two, it reminds us of the truth that God is able to do far more than we could ask or imagine, even if our children's future is looking dim at the moment.

So, what does speaking blessing look like day to day?  Telling your newborn that he/she is a precious gift from God and that He loves them.  Telling your two year old that he/she was created by God and He has good things for them to do.  Telling your seven year old that he/she is growing beautifully in learning more about God and that He has great things in store for their life.  Telling your teenager that even though they can't see where they are supposed to go, God can, and the Word says He has plans to give them a hope and a future.  It is speaking the truth of God's love for them over and over, on good days and hard days - till it sinks it is so solid that no one will be able to take it away.

The hardest times, as a parent, to speak blessing into our kids lives, seem to be the days that we see the least amount of hope; but those are probably the most important times.  They need us to be the "adults" and lovingly remind (us &) them that God has good things to look forward to.  It requires patiently taking a deep breath, giving a hug and assuring them that we love them and God loves them, maybe even sharing a scripture like Jeremiah 29:11, "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'"  Every time we speak God's truth into the lives of our children, we plant seeds of hope and truth that will go down deep and remain ~  it will become part of the important foundation that helps the distance become more clear and bright for them.

Don't ever stop speaking blessing!  God has promised His Word will not return void, so keep God's truth coming out!

Deuteronomy 28:3-9 "You will be blessed in the city and blessed in the country.  The fruit of your womb will be blessed, and the crops of your land...your basket and your kneading trough will be blessed.  You will be blessed when you come in and blessed when you go out...The Lord will send a blessing on your barns and on everything you put your hand to.  The Lord your God will bless you in the land He is giving you."

Making the Most of the Little Moments

I have heard it said before that, "Quality times happens amidst quantity time," and I have come to believe that is true.  It may be easy to say that we will carve out an hour a day, per child, but it is not easy to do.  In fact, the more children we have, the more work there is to do, which makes it harder to carve out the hours to be one on one with those we love most.  So, here is what I propose...

While we are all making the most of the quantity of time we have with our children - which to my liking is rarely enough (unless it is a really bad toddler day :-) - create special mini-events to make the most of those little moments.  How does this look?  I have found it looks like: readjusting my expectations to be happy to share one book with a child, even if I can't read all afternoon.  Being happy to scratch my daughter's back for five minutes at bedtime and chat, even if I can't snuggle her for the evening.  Enjoying a time of "Rescue Hero" pretend play for 10 minutes on the rug between rounds of laundry, even though I would rather play all day.  Is that painting a picture?

I have come to see that the moments my children seem to enjoy and recollect the most are not the ones I put the greatest efforts into.  By that, I mean the large scale events - it still takes effort and discipline on my part to sit down and read a book when my tasks are staring me in the face - but not nearly the effort that a whole day at a zoo or a park would take.  Both types of events are important, precious and memorable; but I have found when one of my daughter tells me what means the most to her, it is in the time I took to listen to her tell me something important while I scratched her back.  Or when one of my sons expresses what he loved about his day, it will be something seemingly little (but not really little at all, in his mind); like a tickle fight on the floor.

Don't look down on the small stuff, and don't stop putting out effort because there isn't time to do the big events all the time.  That is real life - we know there will ALWAYS be so much to do!  BUT we only have these moments to savour for a while.  For as long as my kids want to sit on the couch and read, I want to be sure I have read at least something with them.  For as long as they have thoughts to share, I want to be sure I have listened for at least a little while.  I don't think anyone is helped when we neglect all duties to "play" all day, but everyone is helped when we make the most of little moments.  They will never forget it and neither will we!

Zechariah 4:10 "Do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin."

Curbing the Challenges of Sundays

Sometimes I feel that when God instructed us, as Christians, not to forsake gathering together (i.e. going to church) - as stated in Hebrews 10:25, He should have exempted families with babies and young children.  Have you ever noticed that you can get "x" number of kids out the door to a doctor's appointment for 9 am but to get out the door by 10 am on Sundays can be a significant challenge?  Do you wonder why that is?  I have a few suggestions as to the "why" of this, but I also have found some things that have helped me with the "how", as well.

I remember reading in a survey done by Dr. James Dobson, that couples felt they experienced an increased number of fights and frustrations on a Sunday morning compared to the rest of the week.  I have also heard many moms share that the stresses of any given Sunday, seem to be increasingly more challenging than those of an average morning.  And lastly, I have lived through a number of overwhelming Sunday mornings myself and can testify that they can be very hard.  Why would that be?  I would have to presume that the number one most important reason for the stress and challenge of Sunday mornings is the reality of the spiritual battle.  Now I know that brushing hair, giving baths, cooking eggs and putting on some nice clothes on your children might not feel very spiritual - but the enemy is aware of our purpose in all those things and that is where the battle comes in.  Why would Paul go to such efforts in II Corinthians 2 to remind us that, "We are not unaware of (Satan's) schemes," if there wasn't a battle to be fought?

The battle for Sundays, I believe, is real but it should not overwhelm us.  I have found that the greatest mornings of fellowship and worship I have experienced usually followed the mornings I have had to "fight" to get my children ready and out the door, while keeping my marriage healthy, and in tact.  In fact, I find in most areas of life - where there is no battle - I am often just coasting and not growing anyway.  Do not be discouraged by this - in fact, it should put great courage into us when we think of the flip side of it all...if the enemy is going to such lengths to keep us away, it is probably the place we need to be more than anywhere else.

I think another challenge that comes with Sunday, for me anyway, is the practical part of knowing I have gone hard all week and I feel the need to have a day that I don't have to push so hard.  Ideally, Sunday is a day of rest and if we plan well enough, we don't need to be working too hard - but we do need to be realistic in our timing.  As long as we stay aware of the number of things that need to be done before we walk out the door on time, things can stay on track quite well.  But it does require letting go of the selfish side of the "I deserve.." thoughts.

Lastly, do not let the thoughts of discouragement stay in your mind.  You may be tempted to reflect on thoughts of, "Well, I am only in Sunday School (or Nursery, etc) anyway - what is the point?"  Serving in the church is just as much opportunity to faithfully sow into what God has for you, as being in the worship service.  If you have young children and wonder - "Why Bother?", take a few minutes and read an old post here...(http://www.myheartathome.com/2010/03/why-go-to-church.html)

Be blessed as a family, and don't let the enemy keep you away from where God knows you and your family need to be.  It is worth the pressing in and the fight.  Remember how Hebrews 10:25 ends, "Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another - and all the more as you see the day approaching." God will return and it may be soon - keep on, keeping on!