As I leaned into the heat of stove, I could feel my shoulders slumped over from the weight of the day. The steam on my face, from the pot I was stirring, reminded me of the feelings I was fighting inside. There was no question - this had been an arduous day for this mother's heart. I recognized the symptoms that were flashing "overwhelmed" in my head, and I wondered if I even had the strength to finish the day. As I sighed, I took a moment trying to evaluate where the greatest pressures were coming from, and I quickly realized the answer that I had been fearful of...EVERYWHERE.
I lingered over my post at the stove longer than what was required, in an desperate effort to regain composure that would allow me to enter back into the world of life that was raging behind me. The ring of the phone seemed like the emergency sound from a fire truck, the bickering of the kids imitated the kerfuffle of a barnyard, and the house, well it was reminiscent of a tornado having recently passed through. While surveying the damage, I asked myself, How did life get so out of control? Where did I go wrong? I quickly heard the answer - I didn't go wrong, this is life at its fullest. Real life, not ideal life! If given the choice of this or silence, in my deepest of hearts I would CHOOSE this, chaos and all!
The next step was harder; knowing this was the life I wanted and needed to embrace, I still had to find the resources that were required to finish out the day. Not just to merely survive, but to do it well. Again, I found my heart staring at a fork in the road - two choices of where the strength was going to come from. Was I going to reach inside myself to where I was dry and empty or was I going to reach up to where my Father God was ready with His unlimited supply of strength?
I CHOSE to reach up.
God, I sighed, I need the resources for strength that comes only from You. Fill me fresh and show me how to love my children in the midst of the confusion I now face.
I would love to tell you that lightening flashed and everything was made perfect, but that would not be true. Slowly my heart quieted and my joy was restored. The sun began to break through the heavy clouds in our home, and God proved true to His Word again. I am so thankful that these are the promises He has given us to draw on, claim, and live out in our homes...may we be encouraged to press on!
"He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak." Isaiah 40:29
Wow, Kristen, you are so inspiring--God through you is so inspiring!!! You are a courageous and godly woman. You are the epitome of a "quiet and gentle spirit" for this is what is beautiful to the Lord. You are so beautiful and strong in your faith. You have encouraged me so much through what you have read. God is so awesome and He is ready to pour out His LOVE, Patience and strength to accomplish all that we are called to; all of our role as a woman of God. I am not yet at such a mature stage in my faith to do this so gracefully, that is what I seek and ask the Lord to give me so that I can! Thank you so so much for your faith, God bless you contineously!!!!!!!!!! You're children are blessed because of you.
ReplyDeleteLove in Christ,
Loredana Millar