The Cost of Shaping Character

     My daughter's sapphire eyes rolled upwards slightly and her mouth seemed to match the mood, as it turned down in disgust.  Parenting is not for cowards, I remind myself of the infamous phrase, this is part of the journey of successfully taking my children from their early years to adulthood. 

     I know this in my head, but it does not alter the feelings in my heart -- how is it that, in order to do what is right for my children, it has to hurt this much?

     I ask my daughter to take some time in her room to think through her attitude, and I go to mine for a quiet moment with God.  We both need to BREATHE separately before we share the same air in a room again.  I used to wish that there was a "skip button" to bypass these trials of attitude and conflict with my children, but now I have learned the truth . . . these struggles are compulsory for each of my children to grow into strong, loving, adults. 

     There are no short cuts on the path of shaping character.

     I reflect on how many lessons it has taken to bring my daughter this far, and I purposefully choose not to look ahead, or try to imagine, how many more lessons remain.  I appreciate God's wisdom that I need only take one day at a time.  This is what keeps the task of raising children at a manageable level . . . most days.

     I am reminded of the words that Dwight L. Moody spoke on character, when he said, "Character is what you are in the dark". 

     The veracity of this statement impacts me, as I think on my own life -- some of the hardest decisions have come when I have been alone, without other eyes upon me.  And these are the times that I want to prepare my children to be ready to face. 

     A little while later, my daughter and I reunite with bright faces and restored hearts.  She even thanks me for helping her learn how to behave better . . . not expected, but greatly valued.  These are the moments and days God has given to me, with His help, to shape my living treasures as best as I can -- I don't want to waste a day!
    

     "Perseverance (produces) character;

and character, hope. 

And hope does not disappoint us."

Romans 5:4&5