"Your son is so tall - he could be very good at basketball."
"Your daughter is a natural artist, she would flourish with some are lessons."
AHHHHHHH! If I committed my children to even half of the sports and classes that well-meaning friends and relatives suggested we'd have cobwebs hanging from our ceilings. Opportunities abound for our children. AND I have yet to see true benefits of busyness.
My heart breaks when endless lists are rattled off by loving, well-intentioned parents, of all the activities crammed into a given day. Do they realize what is stolen from their lives and the lives of their children, when they try to meet the world's standard of extra-curricular activities?
What happened to hours of creative play with a dress-up box? Or the tree house turned into a pirate ship? Or the bin of building blocks that becomes a castle surrounded by knights?
I don't want anyone to feel guilty for the activities your children are in -- ours have a few too -- but we choose them ever so carefully, and fiercely guard family time and free time. My hope is simply to challenge the status quo. To remind people that there is a choice. You will not ruin your child if they are not exposed to every activity listed in the local recreation guide.
YOU HAVE PERMISSION TO SAY NO!
"I have no peace, no quietness;
I have no rest, but only turmoil."
Job 3:26
Choosing to say no means: saying no to scouts but yes to family dinners, saying no to hockey but yes to church, or even saying no to ballet but yes to family walks in a park. Don't feel judged - NO - you have to choose what works best for your family . . . I just want to challenge you to ask yourself whether you are even choosing or just saying YES to everything?
I choose to rest in the knowledge that the future path God has chosen for each my children will come about IN SPITE OF the activities I expose my children to, not BECAUSE OF them. God is so much bigger than my feeble attempts to "grow" my children. By His grace I trust they will choose the path He has for them.
I choose to resist the social pressure around me that says I need to be busy, busy all the time.
I choose to give my children time to be children.
I will allow God to surface the way that they should go.
I desperately want my children to look back on their childhood, not with memories of mommy stressfully racing from one thing to the next; but of hours spent in books, laughter, fun and play.
I create leisure time to read and discuss God's Word, not just quickly rushed through so we can charge into the next thing on our list.
Activities have their place, but they are only of earthly value -- things of eternal value must be my number one priority when we choose where to invest time and energy. God will fan into flame what He intends for our children to do.
"You will keep in perfect
peace him whose mind
is steadfast." Isaiah 26:3
So well spoken. God has truly given you the gift of writing and writing His TRUTH!!!!! I completely hear you and believe the same thing! Thank you for reminding me that this is God's way and He does have plans for our children despite all the pressures that come from the world for us to be like them. If only they would understand to be more like us, like Jesus!
ReplyDeleteThank you for such an important lesson - even though my children are 12 and 13 - we still love to sit together on the couch and read a book together - may that never change -it's one of the highlights of my life!!
ReplyDeleteThanks for this one, too, Kristen. As a mom of young kids, I often feel this pressure from within and without - they "should be" taking piano, and ballet, and playing soccer, and, and, and....! (the busy is nuts and to mention the expense.) Thanks for keeping me grounded. :)
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