If Only...

     Maybe it was the robin's fault -- the sight of him had started my mind whirling into the pit of the "if only's"?  The robin, on its own, was a glorious symbol of the hope of spring, while remnants of dirty, old snow still lay clustered in the woods.  I should have stayed focused on the glimpse of the red-breasted bird, but no . . . it happened so fast and without any realization that I was past the point of no easy return. 

     What was it?  It was the conversation I shared with myself about better things to come, that caused me to lose sight of the gift of today.  My thoughts had gone something like this . . . 

     "If only this snow would melt . . . but then it will be cold and rainy."  

     "If only the warmer spring days would come . . . but then there will be bugs."

     "If only summer would be here . . . but then . . ." 

     Do you see my dilemma?  It took so little to launch myself into "half a year from now", and in the process I had thrown away the blessing of all the moments and days that are in between.  Why did I do that?  Because I failed to be satisfied with the largess that is buried in the challenges of TODAY. 

     I stopped my thoughts.

     I looked for God's beauty that surrounded me in that moment -- the chaos of school books piled seemingly half-way to the ceiling that was accompanied by the laughter of happy voices . . . the noisy dog that chased his tail on the never-ending search for satisfaction of the catch . . . the brightness of the room  we were gathered in that offered the expectation of warmth and safety.

     My mind rested.  My heart filled with peace.

     God had been brought back to centre, and with Him, came the outlook I required to search for the blessings of the day.

     "Thanks be to God for His

indescribable gift!" II Corinthians 9:15