Motivation Urgently Needed

      I will never cease to be amazed how God can use His living and active Word to speak fresh motivation into my life, especially on tough days!  

     Do you ever get "those" days?  Days where it feels like the low road beckons to you like a box of sweet chocolates and the high road seems boarded up like an old red barn?  Days where the effort required to deal with the issues at hand is so HUGE that it could make you think of an ant attempting to carry a watermelon? 

     Maybe that is what Albert Einstein was thinking of, when he stated, "One should not pursue goals that are easily achieved.  One must develop an instinct for what one can barely achieve through ones greatest efforts." 

     An instinct for what one can BARELY achieve . . .  many of my days can feel that way!

     So, how did God speak to me on one of "those" days? 

     He revealed a verse from Proverbs 29:15 that says, "A child left to himself disgraces his mother." 

     That may not strike you as enough to change your day around on a dime . . . but it was mine!  What impacted me most was that it spoke to ME -- I'm a mother!  So often the proverbs speak to fathers and they can still apply to us as moms, but look out -- when God is speaking right to mothers, we should have both ears wide open.

     But back to the verse -- isn't that what we naturally WANT to do on difficult days?  Just leave the child to himself or herself?  Absolutely!

     Especially when the day has been long and hard.  But isn't it interesting that the consequence is given to us, not the child?  The verse says it is the mother who will be disgraced. 

     In the very moment I read this verse, I felt called back to God's standard of continuing to press in, as opposed to walking out the world's standard which could be defined as "letting kids be kids" or "don't worry, they'll grow out of it".

     In almost 14 years of parenting five different personalities I have yet to find ONE discipline issue that has magically disappeared because I've ignored it.  In fact, my experience is that molehills become mountains when I leave one of my children to themselves. 

     So moms -- press in!  Would we not rather be found faithful and a little battle weary with our children close to our hearts, than to be well rested and disgraced by them? 

     I love what Sally Clarkson shares on her blog, and I quote:  "Motherhood is a long journey, a hard and challenging journey, that will require much endurance with grace, much forgiveness, much patience and just a whole lot of energy expended."  How true.

     God NEVER tells us to do something that isn't for our very best -- so why question the wisdom found in the Word?  God calls us to correct our children and not leave them to their own demise.  May God's words of truth be your urgently needed motivation to continue on the road less traveled.

"Her children arise and

call her blessed!" 

Proverbs 31:28

When Kids are Sick

     "Ohhhhhh, my head hurts . . . ohhhhh, my stomach aches . . . ohhhh, I need more ginger ale . . . ohhhh . . ."  The moans and demands continued to flow from the living room couch -- the location of our make-shift hospital.  Five nauseated kids later, mommy is more than a little worn down, but that is hard to avoid when kids are sick.

     A "normal" week usually demands that, as moms, we give almost everything we've got -- but add a few (or more) feverish, achy children to the mix, and it feels like we need to give MORE than we've got!  What's a mom to do? 

     1) Recognize that you only have to take ONE moment at a time -- don't try to imagine how many kids are going to catch what the first one has, or how many times THIS ONE is going to need you  -- you only HAVE TO DO what is required in each single breath of time.

     2) Remind yourself that you are not alone -- God has said that when we are weak, He will be strong for us, so tell Him you need Him to be that for you.

     3) Savour the fact that you are needed -- I know, "demanded of" might be more accurate, but regardless of the wording, these precious little ones (or bigger ones) put their hope in us to care for them.

     4) Look for as many ways as possible to simply life in every other area, so you can be focused at home -- it never ceases to amaze me how a previously full week can be emptied -- you can even say yes to pancakes for supper.

     5) Invest, invest, invest -- some of these "sick days" have become my favourite memories when I look back after my kids are healthy again -- although I may feel exhausted at the time, I take it as a perfect opportunity to invest in my kids: we snuggle lots, experience great books, create special snacks, and overall just be together. 

     A quote from Zig Ziglar says, "It is your attitude, not your aptitude, that determines your altitude."  Whether you are a professional "mommy nurse" or not, doesn't matter; pour out your tenderness on those sweet, indisposed loved ones, and remember whatever we do for the least of these, we do for God.

"Steadily, pouring yourselves

out for each other in acts

of love."

Ephesians 4:2

Stick it Out

     "Mommmm, why do I have to empty the dishwasher?  I just did dishes yesterday."  My daughter groaned as she carelessly tossed pieces of Tupperware onto the counter.  "Don't you know that I am just a kid?  I don't think I should have to do this much work."  This time silverware crashed onto the blue top -- and I sighed.

     It would be so much easier to just do this myself!  I resisted the urge to tell her to forget about it, and I stuck it out as another round of complaining began.  I briefly lectured her on the benefits she would experience by obtaining these skills, but that did not carry the impact I had hoped, so I resorted to the simple answer -- it was something that just had to be done!

     As the last items were put into their place, she surveyed the clean counters and empty dishwasher with a slightly satisfied grin.  I knew she was pleased with the results even though she had not enjoyed the process. 

     "Thank you for doing a good job," I offered, "it looks great."   She apologized for her attitude and then happily skipped off to play, while I lingered in the kitchen for a few more minutes.  My feet felt the coolness of the linoleum floor and my heart felt the enervation from the fight for the small victory won.

     I released a long breath out slowly.

     Many moments of child-training seemed far more significant and intense than this one, I reflected, so why did I feel so battle weary?  I suppose the grander battles were a non-negotiable in my mind -- but this?  I could walk away from doing the dishes alone and not feel badly at all. 

     Smaller tasks appeared easier to excuse because they lacked the feeling of importance in the moment -- but couldn't that be a problem? 

     Life consists of hundreds of small tasks done WELL, not just a few colossal accomplishments under our belts.

     If our children are going to shine in the adult world someday, then this is the training ground NOW.  For me, as mom and trainer, it will be because I held them to the little things . . . that they will be ready for the subsequent roles and responsibilities that God has for them in the future. 

     Sticking it out on the small tasks in the here and now, will make the later a beautiful experience -- for both my children and me.

 "She (or he) sets about her work

vigorously; her arms are

strong for her tasks."

Proverbs 31:17

If Only...

     Maybe it was the robin's fault -- the sight of him had started my mind whirling into the pit of the "if only's"?  The robin, on its own, was a glorious symbol of the hope of spring, while remnants of dirty, old snow still lay clustered in the woods.  I should have stayed focused on the glimpse of the red-breasted bird, but no . . . it happened so fast and without any realization that I was past the point of no easy return. 

     What was it?  It was the conversation I shared with myself about better things to come, that caused me to lose sight of the gift of today.  My thoughts had gone something like this . . . 

     "If only this snow would melt . . . but then it will be cold and rainy."  

     "If only the warmer spring days would come . . . but then there will be bugs."

     "If only summer would be here . . . but then . . ." 

     Do you see my dilemma?  It took so little to launch myself into "half a year from now", and in the process I had thrown away the blessing of all the moments and days that are in between.  Why did I do that?  Because I failed to be satisfied with the largess that is buried in the challenges of TODAY. 

     I stopped my thoughts.

     I looked for God's beauty that surrounded me in that moment -- the chaos of school books piled seemingly half-way to the ceiling that was accompanied by the laughter of happy voices . . . the noisy dog that chased his tail on the never-ending search for satisfaction of the catch . . . the brightness of the room  we were gathered in that offered the expectation of warmth and safety.

     My mind rested.  My heart filled with peace.

     God had been brought back to centre, and with Him, came the outlook I required to search for the blessings of the day.

     "Thanks be to God for His

indescribable gift!" II Corinthians 9:15

Obedience -- little or big

     Pick up the phone and give her a call . . .

     Get off the chair and go talk to that child . . .

     Go upstairs and tell your husband you're sorry . . . 

      God's gentle whisper reveals to my heart what He longs for me to do.  Just a sampling of what I may experience as directives in a given day.  Each of them on their own can seem small and insignificant, but I have learned that when God speaks with instruction to my heart, He expects me to obey!  How is that any different than what I expect from my children?     

     How can I allow myself to downplay what I view as "little" obedience when I know how greatly God values it?

     "Little" or "big", when it comes to obedience, it is a non-issue on the size. God's magnifying glass on my heart divulges my willingness, or lack thereof, to cooperate with what it is God is trying to accomplish in and around me.  Either I am IN or I am OUT . . . there are no comfortable fences to sit on in God's kingdom.

     My mind drifts to the days that my feet feel so heavy and I count the hours till bed -- I realize these are the times that I too easily excuse what I feel God wants me to do.  My head can call out for what needs to be done, but as Jesus warned, "The spirit is willing, but the body is weak (Matthew 26:41)."  Oh, my body is so weak some days.  

     What is the solution?  Jesus told us -- we are to "watch and pray".  There are moments when I need to CHOOSE to do what is requested, whether I FEEL like it or not.  And I acknowledge my desperate lack of ability to complete these small assignments in my own strength . . . God, come and fill me up with your Holy Spirit, fresh and new, that I may walk in obedience for the places you choose to use me in.  Thank you that You want to use each of us, to carry out Your purposes in this world.

 "Whoever can be trusted with very

little can also be trusted with much."

Luke 16:10

Making Memories

     "I LOVE this!  This totally reminds me of when I was growing up in a family of five kids.  I would have sat there, Mark would be here, Christine over there . . .  I loved our supper times.  All the conversations happening over top of the other . . . "

     Our guest's face beamed as he spoke of memories from his childhood, over dinner one night -- words that were a gift to our children, as we shared a meal with he and his wife.  Grown now, he reminisced of the greatest moments of childhood, many that centered around the dinner table.  Every meal was an adventure . . . his siblings are now among his closest friends . . . words that painted a picture of beauty and love born from the chaos of the supper hour.

     Interestingly, after he and his wife went home, our children revisited the conversations over and over.  An indelible impression had been placed on our family's meal time -- an increased sense of value that had not been there before. 

     WHY?  Because our children were able to see past the clamor and realize the value we share amdist the chaos. 

     Isn't it hard to believe that while we wrestle with how to manage the cacophony of meal time, priceless memories are being embedded into our children's hearts and minds that will last a lifetime? 

      I recently came across a poem that heightened the worth of our family meals even further.  The fact that it was written almost 100 years ago adds even more beauty to its words, because it would have flown in the face of then-current opinions like, "Children are to be seen and not heard" or, "Speak only when spoken to". 

     Savour the words written from the heart of a father who loved his family and the babel more than the quiet and the order . . .

The Perfect Dinner Table

        By Edgar Guest (1925)

A table cloth that's slightly soiled
Where greasy little hands have toiled;
The napkins kept in silver rings,
And only ordinary things
From which to eat, a simple fare,
And just the wife and kiddies there,
And while I serve, the clatter glad
Of little girl and little lad
Who have so very much to say
About the happenings of the day.

Four big round eyes that dance with glee,
Forever flashing joys at me,
Two little tongues that race and run
To tell of troubles and of fun;
The mother with a patient smile
Who knows that she must wait awhile
Before she'll get a chance to say
What she's discovered through the day.
She steps aside for girl and lad
Who have so much to tell their dad.

Our manners may not be the best;
Perhaps our elbows often rest
Upon the table, and at times
That very worst of dinner crimes,
That very shameful act and rude
Of speaking ere you've downed your food,
Too frequently, I fear, is done,
So fast the little voices run.
Yet why should table manners stay
Those tongues that have so much to say?

At many a table I have been
Where wealth and luxury were seen,
And I have dined in halls of pride
Where all the guests were dignified;
But when it comes to pleasure rare
The perfect dinner table's where
No stranger's face is ever known:
The dinner hour we spend alone,
When little girl and little lad
Run riot telling things to dad.



     Suppers shared around the dining table are one of the few opportunities our children may have to interact with the whole family unit in a given day -- don't lose these precious opportunities.  Minor on manners and major on the gift --  children that WANT to be with us. Children that WILL NOT be children forever -- each meal is making a memory, so let's make it a great one!

"Do EVERYTHING in love."

I Corinthians 16:14

Time to be a Child

     "Your daughter has the perfect build for ballet."

     "Your son is so tall - he could be very good at basketball."

     "Your daughter is a natural artist, she would flourish with some are lessons."

     AHHHHHHH!  If I committed my children to even half of the sports and classes that well-meaning friends and relatives suggested we'd have cobwebs hanging from our ceilings.  Opportunities abound for our children.  AND I have yet to see true benefits of busyness.

     My heart breaks when endless lists are rattled off by loving, well-intentioned parents, of all the activities crammed into a given day.  Do they realize what is stolen from their lives and the lives of their children, when they try to meet the world's standard of extra-curricular activities?

     What happened to hours of creative play with a dress-up box?  Or the tree house turned into a pirate ship?  Or the bin of building blocks that becomes a castle surrounded by knights? 

     I don't want anyone to feel guilty for the activities your children are in -- ours have a few too -- but we choose them ever so carefully, and fiercely guard family time and free time.  My hope is simply to challenge the status quo.  To remind people that there is a choice.  You will not ruin your child if they are not exposed to every activity listed in the local recreation guide.

     YOU HAVE PERMISSION TO SAY NO!

"I have no peace, no quietness;

I have no rest, but only turmoil."

Job 3:26

     Choosing to say no means:  saying no to scouts but yes to family dinners, saying no to hockey but yes to church, or even saying no to ballet but yes to family walks in a park.  Don't feel judged - NO - you have to choose what works best for your family . . . I just want to challenge you to ask yourself whether you are even choosing or just saying YES to everything?

     I choose to rest in the knowledge that the future path God has chosen for each my children will come about IN SPITE OF the activities I expose my children to, not BECAUSE OF them.  God is so much bigger than my feeble attempts to "grow" my children.  By His grace I trust they will choose the path He has for them. 

     I choose to resist the social pressure around me that says I need to be busy, busy all the time.

     I choose to give my children time to be children. 

     I will allow God to surface the way that they should go.

     I desperately want my children to look back on their childhood, not with memories of mommy stressfully racing from one thing to the next; but of hours spent in books, laughter, fun and play.

     I create leisure time to read and discuss God's Word, not just quickly rushed through so we can charge into the next thing on our list. 

     Activities have their place, but they are only of earthly value -- things of eternal value must be my number one priority when we choose where to invest time and energy.  God will fan into flame what He intends for our children to do.

"You will keep in perfect

peace him whose mind

is steadfast."  Isaiah 26:3

A Fly on the Wall

     I put the book down beside me, frustrated that it sounded so easy for their family.  It was another "how to" book that promised to organize my world and change our family for the better.  Was there not something more out there?  I knew the answer to that -- it lay in the leather bound book beside my bed, but I longed for the model I could watch and imitate.

     "God, how do I do this parenting thing?  I feel like I need something I can touch and see." 

     I thought back to the beautiful, Christian families I had observed during my teen years, and wished I had paid more attention.  It looked so easy to raise kids when you weren't the one that was responsible for them . . . and now? 

     I looked over at my four year-old son and my two year-old daughter playing on the worn, brown carpet -- they were so happy and carefree, why couldn't I feel that way?  As I glanced down at my swollen belly, I realized it contained part of the answer . . . with another baby on the way, I knew the demands would continue to increase and I felt inadequate to handle the task at hand.

     If only I could be a fly on the wall in a home of a Christian family who knew what they were doing!

     That seemed to be my daily wish.  I would think about it while I vacuumed, while I cooked, while I was with my kids.  I had myself pretty well convinced that if I could be that "fly", I would know what to do, but the opportunities were hard to find.  Instead, I held fast to my daily time with the Lord -- praying and reading His Word -- unaware of how much He intended to do over time.  

     I wanted an instant fix; but God wanted change that would last.  

____________________

 (nine years later)

     I put the book down gently, grateful for the wisdom I had gained.  It was the same leather bound book I had wondered at years ago, but now I had learned the truth . . . as much as there are many wonderful books I can grow and learn from, there is only ONE that will change my life and fill me with the wisdom I crave.  It is God's Word.

     Now I have the perspicuous vantage point, that had I been given my wish of being a fly on a wall, I would not have understood God's desire for what He wanted my family to look like.  I would have tried to make my family into someone else's family, instead of the unique personality that God wanted to mold within our own family. 

     If only I could have rested in that knowledge nine years ago . . . that as long as I seek God for His wisdom and next steps in our lives and family, He continues to shape us into what He plans.  As long as I rest in His Word being the greatest source for all that I need, He will grow me to become more like Him.  There are still books outside of the Word, that I treasure for their wisdom, but even then, it is the ways that they point me back to God and His Word that I find the strength.

     Why would I want to become like someone else, when He has made available everything I need to keep growing in being more like Him?

"That your faith might not

rest on men's wisdom, but

on God's power."

I Corinthians 2:5

Dust Bunny Friendships

     Some days my house reminds me of a hot, dry desert, complete with tumbleweeds rolling by . . . but the problem is that I live in a cold climate and the tumbleweeds are really rolling dust balls.   As hard as I try, our house produces more dust bunnies than I can keep up with - - and I have come to accept that this as part of life, especially at this stage with kids.  

     There was a time that these lifeless critters kept me from friendships that God had called me to embrace, but no more.  I have grown to accept that friendships are more important than clean houses.  And it is not my friendships that have changed, or my house that has changed, but it is me that has changed.

     I have learned to love my dust bunny friendships.

     These are the friendships that weave in and out of our daily lives -- a place where I can pour out and be poured into, like a well-watered garden that flourishes in the warm summer sun.  A place where I choose not to let the state of things around me rob me of the sweet visits or the sumptuous conversations.

     I don't want to become what Rudyard Kipling thought of, when he said, "You sometimes see a woman who would have made a Joan of Arc in another century and climate, threshing herself to pieces over all the mean worry of housekeeping."  

     Life is too short and people are too precious to waste that much time.  My desire is to keep a house that is clean enough to always welcome someone in, but never so clean that it means I won't have time to enjoy my guests.  

     Now go smile at your dust bunnies, and then invite over a friend! 

"Open your homes to each

other without complaining."

I Peter 4:9    

The Mess of Learning

     "Oh, Mom, can I help you?"  The words came out of the mouth of my sweet daughter -- good words, bad timing.  I was about to begin one of my "secret jobs".  I don't have many secret jobs, but there are a few -- you know, the ones that you try to accomplish alone before a charming child steps into "help".   This job involved the transfer of 22lbs of flour, so the risks were steep.

     "Sure you can," I replied hesitantly, but I cringed as I spoke, because I knew what might come next . . . the mess of learning.  It seems to be the inevitable step that each child has to take to master the next level of chores and assignments, but one I dread more often than I should. 

     We put the clear, plastic flour bin on the kitchen floor and opened the bag together.  "I can do it, Mom," she said.  To which I replied, "I know, but I will just help you get started."  We opened the bag together and started to lift it in the air, but before I could get the words out to tip it slowly, flour decorated my floor!  Much of it did make the bin, but . . . much didn't. 

     Life -- all of it, whatever stage we are at -- requires the mess of learning. 

     At what point do we earn the badge of completing all lessons?  There isn't one.  If we are not overwhelmed with the "mess" of learning how to care for our first baby, then we are further down the list, with the hope to check off the lesson on the "mess" of learning how to care for our third.  Or maybe it is the "mess" of learning how to communicate with our spouse.  Or it could be the "mess" of learning how to age gracefully.  It doesn't seem to end, does it?

     This is God's design of life -- it's what keeps me humble and in need of wisdom from others, and most of all, from above!

     I looked around at the smattering of flour on the kitchen floor and thought of my own life -- the lessons I have learned have often left a detritus of mess in my path.  But just as I helped my daughter to clean up the flour, so God faithfully helps me with clean up the residue from my lessons.

     This is how our children are created to learn, and it is how I continue to learn . . . one mess at a time.

"I applied my heart to what I observed

and learned a lesson from what I saw."

Proverbs 24:32

    

The Cost of Shaping Character

     My daughter's sapphire eyes rolled upwards slightly and her mouth seemed to match the mood, as it turned down in disgust.  Parenting is not for cowards, I remind myself of the infamous phrase, this is part of the journey of successfully taking my children from their early years to adulthood. 

     I know this in my head, but it does not alter the feelings in my heart -- how is it that, in order to do what is right for my children, it has to hurt this much?

     I ask my daughter to take some time in her room to think through her attitude, and I go to mine for a quiet moment with God.  We both need to BREATHE separately before we share the same air in a room again.  I used to wish that there was a "skip button" to bypass these trials of attitude and conflict with my children, but now I have learned the truth . . . these struggles are compulsory for each of my children to grow into strong, loving, adults. 

     There are no short cuts on the path of shaping character.

     I reflect on how many lessons it has taken to bring my daughter this far, and I purposefully choose not to look ahead, or try to imagine, how many more lessons remain.  I appreciate God's wisdom that I need only take one day at a time.  This is what keeps the task of raising children at a manageable level . . . most days.

     I am reminded of the words that Dwight L. Moody spoke on character, when he said, "Character is what you are in the dark". 

     The veracity of this statement impacts me, as I think on my own life -- some of the hardest decisions have come when I have been alone, without other eyes upon me.  And these are the times that I want to prepare my children to be ready to face. 

     A little while later, my daughter and I reunite with bright faces and restored hearts.  She even thanks me for helping her learn how to behave better . . . not expected, but greatly valued.  These are the moments and days God has given to me, with His help, to shape my living treasures as best as I can -- I don't want to waste a day!
    

     "Perseverance (produces) character;

and character, hope. 

And hope does not disappoint us."

Romans 5:4&5

Taking Time

     The first sound that greets our ears, as we step into the impressive multi-storied structure, is the sweet sound of voices singing the praises of God.  I am sure these voices will forever take my breath away -- every time we visit -- for they are the voices of women who have spent their lives in service and dedication to God, and they are lovelier than room full of fragrant, scarlet roses.  These are the nuns, and they have given their strongest years of life in locations around the world, showing God's love to whomever they met, and still they serve.

     Only short moments later, they file out of their retirement chapel . . . slowly, but still with life in their steps.  We stand to the side and greet them with quiet nods and smiles.  Our hostess offers them to join us for tea and sweets, and their responses vary -- some are on their way to visit others more elderly than themselves, one has emails to send to nuns in South America (she is in her 80's), some are on their way to prayer, but some have time to follow us for a visit.  And these are some of the richest occasions my children and I have come to know.

     "It is so good to see you again," shares one nun who is in her nineties.

     "I am so glad you came to see us.  How are you?" another inquires.

     "Did you bake this fudge for us?  That is my favourite treat," beams again another.

     My eleven year-old gingerly carries around a platter of brown-sugar fudge, while the other children look for a table that needs a guest.  They have learned how to carry their peach juice in hand and find a seat that will give them a window into the stories of women with history as deep as the sea.  Sometimes I sit with my four year-old, sometimes I wander to the others, but ALWAYS I listen to the flow of the chatter and the chronicles of time that pass in the hour we linger with them.

     How could I have thought we were too busy for this?  I ponder how close I came to replacing this outing with other needs that pressed for my attention . . . but this is where real life happens.  This is what my children will remember for years to come.  This is the richness of the aged, sharing with my young ones, and this wisdom can't be bought.

     I hear laughter and spot a game of "hands" being played.  I grab for my camera and try to capture a memory of the day, even though I know when it is shared at home, justice will not be served for the prolific happiness we enjoy.

     Time passes quickly and the ladies begin to get up and say their goodbyes.  It is time for us to let them go on to the other things their day holds.  We are sorry to go -- I realize this is where my children have learned best how to ask questions, how to appreciate the accounts of seasons in the past, and how to respect the aged.  All skills that I previously assumed would have occurred more naturally . . . but I have come to realize that these too have to be taught, practiced and modeled.

    "Wasn't that fun?"

     "Did you hear the story from Sister Anna?"

     "I am so glad I wore a dress, they really liked it!"

     The half hour drive home passes quickly, as everyone shares their choice recollection of the morning.  My mouth can't help but stay upturned, as I reflect on how fast time moves past and how important these occasions are for all of us.  I remember the nuns' appreciation of our visit and my smile grows even larger -- they still don't realize that they give back much more to us in love, than we could ever give to them.  This must be God's perfect order of age and life in action!
 

"Is not wisdom found among the aged?

Does not long life bring understanding?" 

Job 12:12

A Game of "Hands"



Abundance of Bread

     "Eating Holes in Wallets" screamed the bold type on the front page of the morning newspaper.  Another paper boasts, "Be prepared to fork over more cash before you pick up your dinner fork."  The articles go on to elucidate the events that again threaten to increase the burden to our homes and budgets. 

     More money for food?  Don't we pay enough already? Then the thoughts tumble even deeper and darker . . . What if there is not enough?  How can we stretch our dollars further than they already are? 

     I stop there -- the demands of the morning routine require that I thrust these thoughts aside and focus on the immediate needs of cereal bowls and juice glasses.  Questions are shelved till later.

    Later comes, and I find myself focused again on the headlines of the morning paper.  The weight of the daily news feels heavier than I care to admit -- the feelings of "not enough" are not new, but shadows of the past.  I stop and take those thoughts captive.  I sense a warning light flash that my thoughts are not lined up with God's truth, but it takes more self-discipline than usual to arrest them in my mind.  It must speak to the magnitude of their size. 

     "God," I cry out, "I don't want to carry this burden."

     "I know that it is not mine to carry -- you are the One who has, does, and always will provide for our family..."

     "REGARDLESS of food prices!"

     I feel the rest returning to my heart, and I am reminded of the verses I read a few days ago.  I pick up my brown-leather Bible and turn to the portion in Deuteronomy 8.  Yes, there it is . . . I settle into the plaid couch cushions, as warm sunshine floods over my shoulders and touches the pages of God's words to me.  It begins with the promise in verse 7 and whispers to me, "The Lord your God is bringing you into a good land -- a land with streams and pools of water, with springs flowing in the valleys and hills . . . a land where bread will not be scarce and you will lack nothing."

     This is the truth my heart has begged for!  His provision ALWAYS allows for inflation -- that is why He holds the title of FAITHFUL.  My heart soars with the lightness of springtime.  My God knows the beginning and the end, He knows what will be needed in the months ahead, and that is where I choose to fix my thoughts.

"My God will meet all your needs

according to His glorious riches

in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:19

The Best Mess

     WHOOOOOSH!  The sound of running water grabbed my attention.  It came from the laundry room . . . BUT I was in the kitchen!  Not a good sign when a sweet, visiting toddler had just vanished from the living room moments before.  I hurried to follow the sound of the tap and rounded the corner just in time to be greeted by a soggy-socked toddler -- her face scrunched up with concern.

    It only took moments to rescue the surrounding items from the water that crawled across the beige tiles, and then I turned to face the culpable two-year old.  Her face displayed the concern that raged on the inside.

     "Marie, did you turn on the tap and make this mess?" I gently asked.

      The pause that came next threatened to last forever.  Then the words stumbled forth -- start and stop, due to the war being waged in order for the truth to surface . . .

     "I . . . I . . . I . . . I . . . DID!" 

     Relief flooded into her azure eyes, as she gazed up at me -- and I cheered!  Because I was glad she had made the mess?  No, because I saw the victory that had been won in her heart.  Hundreds of hours of training, invested by her mom and dad, were paying off during a brief visit in our home.

     The mess was a success in my eyes.  At the mere age of two, she had defied the battle of gravity and THE LIE and conquered it with THE TRUTH.

     And does the battle of gravity and THE LIE end just because we become the moms?  No.  The temptations just become more subtle; the opportunities we have to stand up and get the words out change their shape, but they do not disappear.  A missed item on our receipt at the grocery checkout . . . a husband who asks what time we crawled into bed . . . a friend who wonders what we think of their dress . . . a child who glances at the posted speed limit and then inquires of the speed of our vehicle. 

     Simple moments in time that seem insignificant on their own.

     BUT put together over the years, they become the essence of who we are.  God-given "seconds" in time that accumulate to mold the weight of our character, either good or bad, while observed by those we love the most. 

     We are forever watched, forever heard, forever silently asked the question, "Does Mommy live like she tells me to live?"  May we be found with the answer that resounds bold and strong, "She sure does!" 

"In EVERYTHING set them an example by doing
what is good."  (Titus 2:7)

Frustration to Blessing

     The creases furrowed across my youngest son's forehead.  They spoke silently of the mounting frustration inside his small frame.  His current desire was to create a car from his building blocks -- a worthy goal for a determined young four year old IF he had enough supplies.  But given the meager scatterings of blocks he attempted to work from, the task seemed infeasible.

     "Mommmm!"  The call came from the upstairs and seemed to boast of hopelessness.  "I CAN'T DO IT!"  

     My four year old spoke the words with echoes of discouragement.  My mother's heart wished I could wave a wand a make piles of blocks appear, but our budget disagreed with my longings.  Little did I know, something much better was about to transpire.

     Around the corner strolled my oldest son, bulking shoulders and height that caused me, for a moment, to catechize that he could really be mine.  His face, full of secrets and surprise, with sunlight sparkling from his eyes, seemed to contain an unveiled plan.  I doubt I will forget the words that followed next . . .

     "Hey buddy, since you and I are sharing a room now, I have an idea.  How about all MY blocks..." 

     My eyes filled with liquid faster than I imagined possible.  Was he really about to do what it sounded like he would?  The blocks that he had spent his lifetime collecting, guarding and saving for?  Then it happened,  the words poured out sweet and rich . . .

     ". . . become OUR blocks.  We can share them and play with it together, now that you are such a big guy."

     My heart overflowed with thankfulness for this young man that stood before me.  The arguments and squabbles faded out of my mind and all I could see was the gift.  In this moment in time, I saw a heart that God had access to, and the reward was great.  Life has brought enough experience to make me conscious of the fact that this is only a piece of the puzzle that holds both light and dark, good and bad -- but I am at rest with that.  I rejoiced in the gift of love shared between brothers -- years apart in age, but close in heart.

     Then, as if God whispered in my ear, I heard, "That is a picture of who I am.  Your God, who is MORE than enough." The truth resonated deep within, as I pondered these words.  Yes, I thought, I am the one with the meager scatterings that attempts to do things on my own, until You come with Your bountiful provision, far more than enough, for all that I need.

"Every good and perfect gift is from above,

coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights." James 1:17